by Olivia Miles
“Then give me a reason to stay,” she said, tightening her grip on her coat. “I told you once I would come back for you. I meant it then. And I mean it now.”
“I want to believe that,” he said.
Silence stretched and she didn’t dare to breathe. She had taken a leap of faith once, and she had done it again by coming here last night. She needed something from him, something to show her they had a future. A chance.
“What about the storefront next to the bookstore?” she asked.
“What about it?”
Her temper stirred. “Helen is never going to open that store, Luke. You can keep renewing it and renewing it until you are ready to let go, but you are holding on to the past, and that store is tangible proof.”
“And you mean to tell me that you aren’t doing the same?” he snapped back.
Grace froze. “Excuse me?”
“You’re clinging to the past just as much as I am, trying to save Main Street Books. You’re holding on to your father, a part of your life and a whole set of memories that you want to keep with you.”
“That’s true. I am.” She stared him down. “But I am still here, Luke. Right now. Standing here in front of you. I still have a chance, and you’re the one who decides whether I can have it.”
He let out a deep sigh, running both hands through his hair and gripping the roots. “Do you realize what you are asking of me, Grace?” he cried, his eyes flashing a piercing blue.
“I’m asking you to take what’s in front of you before you lose it for good. Because if you let me walk away from you again, this time I won’t be coming back.” She paused, the magnitude of her words fueling her. “I know what I want now, more than I did back then. And it’s you, Luke. I’m ready to move forward, but you have to be willing to do the same.”
He broke her stare, shaking his head.
“Are you going to renew the lease on the store?” She had to know, he had to tell her. It was more than just a piece of space, more than just a roadblock to her hopes. It represented something larger—someone. He knew it, and she did, too.
She waited for an answer until she knew he wasn’t going to give her the one she wanted to hear. “Why, Luke? Why?”
His eyes hardened. “It wouldn’t be fair to Helen.”
“If someone else wanted that space, would you give it up?”
He heaved a breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know.”
She knew she should let it go, stop torturing herself, but she couldn’t, not without hearing it from him first. He had to close the door so she could find the strength to walk away, permanently. “Probably?”
He shook his head softly, lowering his head. “It wouldn’t be as difficult a choice.”
The impact of his words hit her like a physical blow. “Then you and I are finally over.” She stared at him, wishing it hadn’t come to this, that he would say something, anything to take it all back, but it was hopeless. “For good.”
She hadn’t realized it until this moment, but somehow, all this time, she had still been clinging to him, whether it be out of hope, or out of denial, she had held on to Luke and their past the way he was now holding on to Helen. She had moved forward, but she was always alone, always missing the one thing she could never have. The part of her that was gone forever.
“Don’t say that, Grace,” he said, reaching out to grab her arm, but she recoiled on reflex, tearing free before his fingers could reach her. His eyes darkened with anguish and, finally, acceptance. “I do love you, you know,” he said softly.
She shot him a look as her fingers turned the door handle. “I know,” she said bitterly. “But we both know from experience that sometimes that isn’t enough.”
Turning away, she closed the door behind her. Standing on the snow-covered porch, she huffed out a breath. The day was young—so young that the streetlamps were still on in the distance, the dusk still fading into a gold swirl of clouds on the horizon.
She waited for the tears to come, for her heart to feel like it had been shattered, but instead she felt it harden with newfound resolve. After all this time, she finally had her closure. The hope was gone, but it didn’t hurt as much as the burden of her regrets. She and Luke were simply not meant to be.
She’d fought for Luke. Twice now, and both times the message was clear. She could live with that—not that she had a choice in the matter.
Still, there was a part of her that sparked with need and a dream yet to come true. She may have lost Luke this morning, but there was still one thing left worth fighting for.
Grace spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in Main Street Books, continuing to clean out the back room and organize, doing everything she could to think about anything but Luke, before finally collapsing into her favorite chair. So many days had been spent in this place, so much hope had filled her then. She wanted to be a writer, to have her books line these shelves one day.
Frowning, she abruptly stood and crossed the room, weaving her way through the stacks until she came to the fiction section, then grazing her pointer finger over the spines until she found it. Madison. Grace Madison. A small smile came to her lips as she contemplated how much had changed since the last time she’d been here all those years ago. Her father had been so proud of her; she would have loved to have been with him in the back room when he popped the box on the shipment of her books—she could almost picture the gleam in his eye. Instead she’d been hundreds of miles away.
Her heart felt heavy as she wedged the book back into its slot. Is this what she wanted for herself? To see every effort she had made come crumbling down around her? What had it all been for, then? The sacrifice, the effort. All for this?
No, she decided, plucking a pen from the desk. Definitely not.
With a notepad in hand, she settled herself into a chair, the words flowing faster than her fingers could record them. By the time the door jingled, clouds had covered the earlier sunlight, and she flicked on a lamp as she sprang from her chair. A customer? Could it be possible that things were turning around?
She set her notepad facedown on the counter, returned the pen to the cup, and turned to greet the newcomer with an ear-to-ear grin. Her pulse skipped when she saw the man in the doorway.
“Derek,” she gasped.
“Your mom told me I could find you here,” he said guardedly.
Her mother? Grace drew a deep breath. She supposed he’d stopped by the house. Oh, she didn’t even want to know what Kathleen was thinking now… With his slick black overcoat and classically handsome features, her mother was sure to have given some sort of reaction.
“The address was listed,” he explained. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said with a grin. “It’s like a giant gingerbread house.”
She smiled, and something within her heart thawed. There was of course something about Derek that had drawn her to him in the first place. It just wasn’t enough to keep her there.
“My mother would be pleased to hear that,” she said.
“Well, pass it along for me.” He grinned.
“I will.”
Silence fell and Grace watched as Derek swept his gaze over the room. He looked tall and out of place in his polished shoes and cashmere scarf. She appraised him from a reserved distance—the black hair and piercing dark eyes, the strong Roman nose, and noble chin. A handsome man, there was no mistaking that. It felt surreal to think that only a matter of months ago, he was her fiancé. Standing here now, he felt like someone she barely knew, from a time and a place that was skin-deep, not ingrained in her soul.
And she knew then and there that no matter what happened with Luke or the store, she was not going back to New York.
“So…” she said, smiling nervously. She paused, waiting to see if he would take the pressure off the situation. “What brings you to Briar Creek?”
“You,” he said simply. The smile had faded from his face, and he held her eyes until her stomach rolled over. There wou
ld always be something there—a connection of shared time together, of the possibility of a future—but she knew in her heart that she had made the right decision. No regrets.
“Me?” She tipped her head. “Oh, Derek.”
He cleared his throat, gesturing to a bookshelf. “This is your father’s store?” When she nodded, he said, “It’s very… charming. I can see why you were always so fond of it.”
Grace felt her stomach knot. She still couldn’t bear the thought of clearing it out, shutting it all down on New Year’s Eve. When she tried to imagine going through the process it felt surreal, impossible. She had a bad feeling she’d be in denial right up until the key was handed over to the management company. And it would take many years before she could walk down Main Street without a lump in her throat.
It wasn’t any reason to run away. And neither was Luke.
“Well, it won’t be around much longer, so you’re lucky you got here before the door closed for good.”
Derek frowned. “Grace—you love this place.”
“I do. Unfortunately, not everyone else does.” She gave a brave smile. “It had a good run. I’m thankful to have ever known it.”
His frown deepened. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” She rubbed her arm, and sniffed. “I thought I could keep it going, actually, but I don’t think that’s very realistic.”
Derek’s brow knitted. “You were planning on staying here?”
She hesitated. “I am planning on staying here, actually.”
She glanced at him from the shadow of her lashes. They both knew what it meant. Somehow things were less permanent if she was still in New York. They’d meet up, run into each other, and have the option to try again. It would only end the same way, though. They were friends, maybe even good friends, but not close friends. They could never think something more would last.
Derek held her eyes with his and pushed his lips off to the side. “Ah.” He gave a lazy grin. “Well, don’t I feel like a fool now.”
She shook her head, taking a step closer to him. “Don’t say that, Derek. You know I care about you. You also know why we could never work out.”
“I know. I thought…” He inhaled deeply and shook his head, whistling out a breath. Locking her in a sidelong gaze he said, “This is really it, then? You’re really staying here?”
“I am.” She gave him a sad smile. “This is where I belong. New York was a learning experience for me. It made me realize what I want in life.”
“I know.” Derek lifted his eyes to the ceiling. After a pause he said, “I will miss you, you know.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” she said softly.
Silence stretched and Grace looked around the room helplessly. She adjusted an ornament on the miniature tree, watched it catch the light and glimmer.
“It really is a shame this place is going out of business,” Derek mused, catching her off guard.
“Well.” She shrugged. She was exhausted, defeated. Deep down she’d had some ridiculous hope that the second she turned the sign on the door, throngs of people would be pushing their way in, but that wasn’t the case at all. She’d been fighting since she got here—for Luke, for the shop. She was trying to revive the past.
She frowned at the thought. Wasn’t that what she had accused Luke of doing?
“You’d think a place like this could prosper,” Derek continued. He began wandering around, stopping periodically to pick up a book and glance at its cover. “It’s so authentic. There aren’t any other bookstores in town, are there?”
“No, just this one. I had some plans… Oh, it doesn’t matter now,” she huffed. “The shop is closing on New Year’s Eve. There’s really no way around it.”
Derek looked up from the book he was holding. “No? A little freshening up and it could be good as new.”
Grace shook her head adamantly. This was exactly why she had fallen for Derek to begin with. He might not want children or family dinners or quiet evenings by the fire, but he did dream big, and she appreciated that quality. Too much, sometimes.
“Derek, no. Honestly, I’ve thought of everything. I had a plan and it fell through. The only other option now would be to totally renovate this entire store and even then… well, it would be a risk.” People weren’t stopping in, they didn’t think to buy their books here, and without the revenue from the café to offset the costs, much less stir up foot traffic, it was a pipe dream. It was pointless.
“But if you had the money—”
Grace’s heart dropped into her stomach. “No. Derek. I—I need to let go.” The sooner she could do that, the sooner she could heal. Just being here now, giving up the fight, she found she could enjoy the time she had left, no matter how bittersweet.
“What are you going to do here, then?”
Grace tossed up her hands. She hadn’t really figured that part out yet herself. “I don’t know yet. All I know is that Briar Creek is where I need to be.”
“This bookstore inspired you to become a writer, didn’t it?” He tucked a book back into place on the cramped shelf and turned toward the door.
A wave of sadness washed over her. This was really goodbye for them. She hated goodbyes. There had been too many of them lately.
“It did,” she said, pleased he had remembered.
He shook his head, taking one last look around. “A real shame to lose it then.”
She nodded, unable to speak as tears prickled her eyes. A real shame.
“I have something for you before I go,” he said.
She stared at him with interest. “What is it?”
He held out his hand and slipped something into hers. Her heart stilled. Her engagement ring.
“Why are you giving this back to me?” she asked, her breath hitching.
“It was my gift to you,” he said. “It still is.”
“Derek.”
He held up a hand. “I know I’m not the man for you. I couldn’t give you all those things you dreamed of—things money couldn’t buy. I am who I am. I’m never going to be that person.”
“I know,” she said softly, and she suddenly realized what Luke meant when he said you could care for two people in wildly different ways. There were many parts of Derek she admired, even loved, but that didn’t make him the right man for her.
“This is your ring, Grace. I gave it to you once, and you gave it back. Take it now and give yourself the life you dreamed of. Start with this place.”
Tears blurred her vision as she stared at the ring in her palm. She hadn’t seen it in months, since she’d slid it across the dinner table to him, and she admired how exquisite it was all over again. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, but even when she had worn it, it had never felt right. It was too big, too flashy, and it represented a whole way of life that wasn’t her.
“You’re a good man,” she said. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked, giving him a watery smile.
He reached over and wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Goodbye, Grace.”
“Goodbye.”
He reached over and gave her a hug, tight and short. With a nod of his head, he skipped down the steps, not bothering to pause as he took long strides across the snow-dusted sidewalk.
She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering as she watched Derek climb into a sleek Mercedes. It was the last time they’d see each other, she knew, and she smiled sadly, knowing that he’d move on soon enough, and that any girl would be lucky to have him. He was a good man, a decent man, but he wasn’t the man for her.
Through the tinted windows she caught a glimpse of his wave and she smiled broader, her heart strings tugging as the car silently, smoothly, slid down the street. She watched it disappear at the corner, taking one last look at her past and the life she was leaving behind.
Turning to go back inside, the corner of her eye caught something across the street and she paused, blanching when she saw him standing so still, watching her from behind
a large snowbank. Luke.
Heart thumping, she froze, considering lifting her hand in a wave and then wondering what she would even say. Before she could move, he thrust his hands into his pockets, turned on his heels, and walked away.
CHAPTER
29
Luke balled his hand into a fist. He quickened his pace to a near sprint, weaving in and out of blurred faces carrying shopping bags, chatting cheerfully all around him. His pulse was spinning, he could hear the blood rushing through his veins, and all he could see in front of him was Grace in the arms of another man.
Darting to get past a group of women who had slowed to check out the twinkling display in the toy store windows, Luke ground to a halt as he nearly collided with Mark.
“Whoa,” his cousin chuckled, but his grin collapsed when he saw Luke’s expression. “Everything okay?”
“No. No, everything’s not okay,” he growled.
Mark gestured toward Hastings. “Coffee on the house?”
Luke hesitated, and then shrugged his shoulders. He could use someone to talk to right now as much as he could use a distraction. The thought of going home to that empty house, now tainted with fresh memories of his night with Grace, was unappealing at best. It had taken years to get that woman out of his system, and now he had only cemented the image, the memory of her touch, the way her eyelids fell heavy as his lips met hers.
“Coffee sounds good,” he said abruptly.
The men pushed through the crowded diner, finding an empty booth near the kitchen. Mark lifted his finger, catching the attention of one of the waiters behind the counter, and called for a pot of fresh brew. He turned over their mugs and settled back into his seat.
“You caught me at a good time. I was just going on break.”
Luke grunted his response, and rested his head in his hand.
Mark blew out a low whistle. “Damn, Luke. You’re looking even worse than usual.”
Luke didn’t bother to feed into his cousin’s attempt at a joke. “Gee, thanks.”