by Jamie Hill
"You walk like you spent all day yesterday roping cows and riding horses," Alex teased when he entered the kitchen.
Natalie pulled him to her by his collar. "That doesn't sound like near as much fun as what I was doing."
He smirked and slipped his arms around her, capturing her mouth in another of the hungry kisses he was so full of today.
"Whoa! Back up!" Dave and Lana started into the kitchen, but he grabbed her and pulled her back out. "God, Matt, they're at it again!" He yelled down the hall.
"You mean they're not making me breakfast?" Matt dragged a sweatshirt over his head and peered in. "Do we need to break out the hose for you two?"
"You might." Natalie looked at him with feigned irritation. "And you expect me to make you breakfast after that rude outburst?"
Dave leaned in to his parents and said quietly, "I don't think we want to talk about outbursts. Your room was so noisy last night, I had to tell Lana you work out with weights when you can't sleep. So if she asks to see the weight bench in your bedroom, that's what it's about."
"Oh lord." Natalie's face reddened and Alex took their son by the shoulders and turned him around.
"Beat it, kid. If you go out and leave us alone, your mom and I might make you some cinnamon rolls."
"I could do cinnamon rolls," Matt agreed.
Dave gave them a teasing look and followed his brother out. "Just don't be making us a little brother or sister, all right?"
"Maybe we will," Natalie called after him sassily.
Alex gave her an incredulous look. "Cinnamon rolls, Natalie. We're making cinnamon rolls."
"Oh, yeah." She grinned at him.
He rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead and said, "Whew!" as if he had just dodged a bullet, and went to the refrigerator.
Over cinnamon rolls, coffee and milk, Lana said, "My mother and I usually go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. She likes to get up early and hit the sales."
"We're not big shoppers in this family," Dave told her. "I don't think my mom has ever once hit the day-after sales."
Natalie exchanged glances with Alex and smiled at Lana. "I'm not real big on crowds."
He spoke up and said, "I know what we could do today, get our tree. It would be great to do it with you all here."
"Don't you have an artificial one?" Lana asked.
"Not in this house." Alex shook his head.
Dave leaned in to her again. "No fake trees. Gotta have the real thing, with a little bird's nest up on the highest branch."
"A real bird's nest?"
Matt laughed. "Nope, it's a fake one with a little fake bird. Go figure."
The back patio door rattled, and Alex looked at the dog on the other side. "Matt, did you feed your dog this morning?"
Rolling his eyes, the boy stood up and let the dog in. "Who feeds you when I'm not here, Jakie-old boy? Or do you only get to eat like once a week?" He poured dog food into the bowl and got fresh water. "And when did he become my dog?"
"Process of elimination," Alex replied. "If you don't want to feed him, we can always take him to the pound."
"Oh no!" Lana exclaimed.
Dave took her hand and squeezed it. "He's just kidding, Lana. He used to say that all the time when we were kids. He'd never really do it."
"Yes I would," Alex muttered.
Natalie picked up the plate in front of him. "Ya big ol' softie. I see you sneaking him treats in the evenings when you think no one is watching."
"You must be mistaken." He looked at her innocently, and they chuckled and cleaned off the table.
"Can we go pick out the tree later, Mom?" Dave asked. "I'm going to take Lana shopping for a while now."
"Sure, whenever you get back is fine. We'll decorate it tonight."
Lana put her arm through Dave's and glanced at Natalie. "Are you sure you won't come shopping with us? It'll be a lot of fun."
Natalie touched Lana's shoulder. "Thank you for offering. You two go on, have a good time. Get something for lunch while you're out, but no pizza. We'll do pizza while we decorate the tree."
"See you later." Dave leaned in to his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Have fun." She winked at him and watched them walk into the other room.
She heard him ask Matt, "Want to come to Aggieville with us?"
"Nah, thanks," his brother replied, stretching out on the sofa. "There's football on all day, I'm just going to hang out here."
"Suit yourself," Dave replied, and led Lana off to get ready to go.
Natalie smiled. They were being kind to invite the family along, but she guessed they were happier to be going by themselves. She wondered if their 'shopping trip' might include a stop somewhere to fog up the windows for a little while, like she and Alex used to do. That thought was pleasant, but when Bluemont Hill popped into her mind, she frowned and tried to think of something else.
Not many things made her think of the rape anymore, after all these years, but that place certainly did last night. She still wasn't thrilled with black Trans Am cars, but that wasn't much of an issue these days. She drove a minivan for years before she recently switched to an S.U.V. like everyone else in Middle Class America. Natalie thought about things as she cleaned up the kitchen, and when she joined Alex and Matt in the family room said, "We forgot to call Gigi last night."
"We can do it tonight," Alex said offhandedly.
"It's not Thanksgiving anymore, dear," she reminded him.
He looked at her and shrugged. "She chose to go to Chicago. We'll call her tonight, Natalie. It's not a big deal."
"All right." She curled up in her chair with a magazine and sighed.
They chose the perfect Christmas tree and had a nice evening decorating it while enjoying some pizza and beer. Natalie wondered if it took four beers for Alex to raise enough courage to call Gigi, but she was almost as bad drinking three, herself. All she knew for sure was they'd enjoyed a nice, peaceful Thanksgiving without their daughter, and the idea of phoning her brought knots to Natalie's stomach. She thought it probably did to Alex's, too.
She picked up the phone. "I'll dial. Would you boys like to talk to her first, and then Dad and I'll talk after?"
"Sure." Dave reached for the receiver after Natalie punched in the number. "Hey, Aunt Dean, it's Dave. Happy day after Thanksgiving!"
Natalie sat on the edge of Alex's chair and slipped her arm around his shoulder. "You dreading this as much as I am?" she whispered.
"Probably more." He sipped his beer.
"I hate feeling this way."
"So do I." His tone was accusatory.
Natalie hoped he wouldn't dredge things up with her again. She squeezed his shoulder and leaned down to kiss the top of his head.
After Matt talked with his sister, he handed the phone to Natalie. "Hi, sweetheart! How is your weekend going?"
"Pretty good." Gigi sounded edgy. "I thought you'd try to call last night."
"I'm sorry about that. We went to grandma and grandpas, then I wasn't feeling well. I came home and went to bed."
"That's what Dave said. What was wrong with you?"
"Tired and stressed, I think…nothing new. I'm fine now. So, how are Aunt Dean and Uncle Roger?"
"Really good! They have the coolest friends."
Natalie listened as her daughter told stories of their holiday yesterday, and thought to herself that for just a few minutes, Gigi sounded like her old self. Maybe it was just going to take some time. Maybe things would eventually go back to the way they were.
"So what do you think, Mom?" Gigi asked.
Natalie's mind snapped back to the conversation. "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, what did you say?"
"Mother!" Gigi was exasperated. "I said Aunt Dean invited me back to spend Christmas, and wondered what you thought about it?"
"Oh, I don't think so, Gigi. We want you here for Christmas, honey. We miss you."
"Yeah," the girl snorted contempt. "I bet you do."
"Gigi,
we love you, and we miss you. I'm going to put Dad on the phone now, and I'll talk to you soon, okay? Love you." She handed the phone abruptly to Alex and stood up. "Good luck," she mouthed quietly, and left him alone with the phone and their still-angry daughter.
David and Lana left early Sunday afternoon, dropping Matt off at his dorm on their way out of town. Natalie and Alex hit the sheets before the kids were out of the driveway and spent the rest of the day and evening in bed. They were almost like newlyweds again, making love, feeding each other leftover Chinese food, and making love again.
"I wish you didn't have to go to work tomorrow," Natalie told Alex as they snuggled that night.
He chuckled. "Are you kidding? I have to go to work to get some rest. You're wearing me out, Mrs. Jameson, although I can't say I'm unhappy about it."
"I missed you."
He kissed her forehead. "I missed you, too. I'm glad to be home."
They lay silently for a while and Natalie finally asked, "What are we going to do about Gigi?"
"I don't know." Alex sighed. "Let's not think about her tonight."
"I hope she made it back from Chicago all right."
"We would have heard something if she hadn't."
"I suppose. But—"
"Natalie." He wrapped his arms around her. "You're thinking about Gigi. We just agreed not to, for one more night. Call her at work tomorrow if you want. Right now, you're going to roll over and I'm going to massage your shoulders." He kissed her again. "And anywhere else I feel like massaging."
Natalie flopped onto her stomach and sighed. "If you insist."
When Alex left for work the next morning, Natalie called Gigi at her office.
"Gillian Jameson," Gigi answered professionally.
For a moment Natalie's heart stirred.
"Wow, I'd hire you," her mother said proudly.
"Mom, hi." Gigi hesitated. "What are you doing?"
"Just checking to see that you made it back okay. How was your flight?"
"It was good, short. How was your weekend?"
"Nice. David's girlfriend is very sweet. Her name is Lana. You'll like her."
"Will I be meeting her?"
"I think so, honey. It seems kind of serious."
"How serious?" Gigi sounded suspicious.
Natalie chuckled. "Well, I'll put it this way. I told David Lana could stay in your room, and he said he'd rather she stayed in his room."
"Oh my God!" Gigi squealed. "Did you let her?"
"Yes, we let her. They're over twenty-one. What were we supposed to do?"
Gigi snorted. "Somehow, I don't think being over twenty-one has anything to do with it. What would you say if I tried to pull that stunt?"
"Your father told me he's already taken care of that, something about you agreeing not to have sex until you were forty-six?"
She snorted again. "Ha! Actually, at the rate I'm going, that could be just about right."
"Not much happening in the guy department?" Natalie was thrilled to be having a normal conversation with her daughter for the first time in weeks.
"That's putting it mildly," Gigi replied before she seemed to remember she was supposed to be angry with her mother. Her tone grew colder as she said, "Jesus, Mother, she's the first girl he's brought home, and it's serious?"
"Your father didn't bring home a lot of girls before me, or so I was told, anyway." Natalie made the comment before she stopped to think, and then knew she was in for it.
"Oh, so you were the only one who slept around, huh?"
"Gigi—"
"Save it, Mother. There's nothing you can say to defend yourself. I've got to go. We have a staff meeting Monday mornings."
"Okay… But I was wondering, did you talk to Aunt Dean about anything?"
"Sure, we talked about lots of stuff."
"Gillian, you know what I mean."
"No, mother, I didn't bring up the issue of my paternity. How embarrassing would that have been?"
"Good." Natalie was relieved.
"I've got to go," Gigi repeated.
"Okay, I love you, Gigi," Natalie said hurriedly, but the dial tone buzzed in her ear.
She hung up the phone and paced around her empty house. Three and a half weeks until Christmas, and Natalie still had a lot of shopping to do. She'd need to talk to David and see if Lana was going to join them for the holiday, and if so, Natalie had even more gifts to buy.
She still couldn't face the thought of Christmas shopping, even after all these years. Especially with everything going on now, she was running out of time to order things and might have to enlist Alex's help. She hated to ask him, when he worked all day and she did nothing.
Natalie looked around their big house. Not nothing, exactly, being a mother and homemaker had always been very fulfilling and rewarding for her. In fact, being a mother was the highlight of her life, and next to marrying Alex, the best thing she had ever done. But now… She looked around again. Her children were gone. The laundry was cut in half, and the house stayed clean except for an occasional paw or nose print here or there. There were no more carpools, scout meetings or parent-teacher conferences. Natalie had nothing to do.
She flopped into a chair and kicked her feet up. Some women would relish the lack of responsibilities and obligations. All she wanted to do was cry.
* * * *
The weather was mild for December, so they only needed light jackets as they gathered at the lake cove, the sight of Matt's last rowing regatta of the season. Alex's parents, who rarely missed a regatta, had joined them.
"Can you believe this weather?" Natalie asked Susan Jameson. "It's almost sixty degrees in December, for Pete's sake."
"It's wonderful," Susan agreed.
"We're going to get it in April," Ted Jameson added, using his binoculars to look out over the water.
Dave turned to Lana. "Grandpa thinks mild weather now means rotten weather later."
"Check the Almanac!" Ted wagged a finger at him.
"The trusty Farmer's Almanac," Dave teased. "No good Kansan should be without one."
Ted lowered his binoculars and turned to his grandson. "I'll have you know, the Almanac has predicted—"
Alex put a hand on his father's arm. "Hold that thought, Dad. I'm sure Dave would love to hear all about it later, but here comes Gigi." He waved at his daughter, who was walking down the path from the parking lot to the edge of the water where the crowd gathered. "Gigi! Over here!"
She looked up and spotted them, joining her family with a less-than-enthused look on her face.
"Hey, sweetheart! We're glad you could make it. Matt will be pleased." Alex smiled at her.
She didn't look him in the eye. "Thanks. Hi Grandma, hi Grandpa."
They both hugged her, and Ted said, "You look thin! You're not trying to lose weight, are you?"
"No." Gigi shook her head. "Just a lot of stress lately."
Dave stepped up with his arm around Lana. "Hey, sis, this is Lana. Lana, my sister Gigi."
"Pleased to meet you, Gigi," Lana said pleasantly.
"Actually, it's Gillian," Gigi told her in an unfriendly tone. "I can't seem to get these people to remember that."
"Well excuse us." Dave steered Lana away and muttered, "I've called her worse names. I guess now you see why."
Natalie moved over to them and squeezed Lana's hands quickly. "You'll have to forgive her, Gigi hasn't been feeling well lately, and I've been nagging at her to see a doctor. Please don't take it personally."
Dave gave his mother an appreciative nod. "Thanks, Mom. She has been a grouch the past month or so. Do you think everything's all right?"
"Everything will be fine." Natalie squeezed his hand, too. "I'll go talk to her." She walked over to where Gigi stood apart from her father and grandparents. Natalie stepped up next to her and they both looked out over the water. "Not a great first impression on someone who's important to your brother, dear."
"Who cares?" Gigi sulked. "Who cares about anything anymor
e?"
"Oh snap out of it!" Natalie scolded. "You act as if the world's coming to an end."
"Maybe it feels like my world is!" Gigi replied dramatically.
"Tough shit," Natalie stormed, and Gigi stared at her. "I'm sick of you acting like a baby and pouting every time we see you. Do you want everyone to know what's going on? We can tell them right now, make a big announcement, and then you'll be the center of attention. That's what you're after, isn't it?"
"What a horrible thing to say!" Gigi fired back. "Sure, go ahead, make an announcement! We'll see who's embarrassed then."
Natalie screwed up her determination and faced her daughter. "I don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Before today, I'd have said you didn't either. But the way you spoke to Lana was appalling. I'm ashamed of you, Gillian." She stomped off and went to Alex and the grandparents.
"How's our little ray of sunshine doing?" Alex slipped his arm around Natalie's waist.
"The sky is falling," she replied.
"Always the drama queen," he muttered, looking over the water. "The first race is getting ready to start."
"Where is he?" Natalie tried to spot Matt.
"Second boat from the left, in front." He offered the binoculars and she looked through them.
"Okay, I see. Good."
They all watched the water as the race began, and they cheered for Matt and the Kansas State team. His boat crossed the cove then returned, taking first place, and his family yelled and whooped loudly.
"What a great job!" Ted yelled.
"Now it's going to be a while before he rows again," Dave explained to Lana. "But he should row, what, Dad, one or two more times?"
"Once more today, I think," Alex replied.
Gigi stepped up next to them. "Good race," she said softly.
Alex looked at her. "Yes it was."
She glanced shyly at Dave and Lana. "Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to sound like such a bitch. It's nice to finally meet you, too, Lana. I've heard good things about you."
Lana smiled. "Same here, thanks."
"Sure." Gigi allowed a small grin.