‘I’ll come,’ Max said. ‘Do you ride?’ She remembered belatedly Catherine said she met him riding.
John merely nodded.
‘It’s a fairly long walk, and horses should be okay around the trees. Meet at six?’
‘Sure.’ He glanced over at Charlie, hanging on Catherine’s every word. ‘He’s truly hooked.’
Max’s lips thinned.
‘It’s his choice,’ John said.
‘He’s sixteen. And she’s toying with him.’
Vivian left Mrs Gould and came up to them. She’d come downstairs for a drink after dinner. ‘It’s horrible, isn’t it? I assume you’re talking about Catherine and Charlie. You don’t think she’d actually…’
‘George propositioned her, but she turned him down. He was eighteen then though.’ The whiskey slipped down her throat easily. Too easily.
‘How the hell do you know that?’ Vivian asked.
‘He told me.’ Vivian and John stared at her. ‘What? He was upset after a party; I asked why.’ And later that night, she walked in on Catherine and Daniel. She took a deep breath. ‘By the way, John, this is Vivian Gould, Vivian, John Knox.’ She smiled. ‘You’ve both heard a lot about the other, so I’m leaving it at that.’
Their smiles were warm as they shook hands. This could be normal. This should be normal.
‘Well, George never did understand discretion. Do you have a sister, John?’ Vivian asked.
Vivian, of everyone she knew, seemed able to talk about George naturally. Max found it comforting.
‘My twin. And I wouldn’t tell her. Even if she asked.’ He smiled. ‘Which she has, on occasion.’
His twin? ‘You have a twin?’ Max asked.
Vivian laughed. ‘Maybe you don’t know each other as well as I thought.’
‘Surely I’ve told you about her,’ John said. ‘You’ve seen her picture, at least.’
Sarah. That woman in all those photos. No wonder he took so many. With Catherine here, why should she feel such relief about Sarah? What about all the other women in his past? But she hadn’t seen photos of any of them.
‘At least you knew about George. I hear he told you all about Max in Korea?’ Vivian asked.
‘He was full of praise.’
‘He must have been drunk,’ Max said.
John grinned.
‘See?’ She turned to Vivian. ‘How’s Samantha?’
‘Hungry. All the time.’ She sighed. ‘Maybe our mothers are right. They say I need to leave her alone for four hours. I’ve been here for five minutes, and I’m desperate to go back upstairs.’
‘Then go upstairs. You told me not to let you talk that way before she was born, remember? That’s why you’re here.’
‘And Lady Bartlemas distracts Brian’s mother.’
‘She’s good at that.’
Vivian looked down at her dark dress and handed Max her wine glass abruptly. ‘I need to go now. Excuse me.’
John carried her glass to a table. Tommy shifted towards her, but John returned quickly, his broad shoulders blocking her view of Tommy all together.
‘Could I come to your room tonight?’ John whispered. ‘Just to talk.’
Max shook her head. They wouldn’t talk, they’d end up having sex and nothing would be resolved. ‘Tomorrow morning.’
John nodded. ‘Of course. Had I really not told you about Sarah?’
Max shrugged. ‘The phone rang.’ She exhaled. ‘I have to admit, it’s been bothering me.’ John looked confused. ‘You had so many photos, and you seemed quite upset when you talked about her name changing. I assumed she was getting married.’
‘She is. The funny thing is, he proposed the same night I did.’ John smiled. ‘The first time.’
Max glanced down. Funny because Sarah had said yes, and Max hadn’t? How could she give him an answer now?
‘Sarah believes in this twin hooey, that we do stuff in parallel. I don’t, I should add. She’s thrilled I proposed to you. And she’s desperate to meet you.’
‘Why did you look so stern?’
‘Did I?’ He lit a cigarette. ‘She didn’t sound as excited as I wanted her to be. She was married before, but he was lost at sea in the war. They only had a week together.’
‘Oh.’ They could be married only a week, and he could come back in a body bag.
‘Max, I can’t guarantee...’
‘I know. So, what about this fiancé?’ She tried to make her voice light-hearted.
‘She just sounded a bit flat about him.’ He smiled. ‘But then I don’t know how you sound if you’ve told anybody.’
‘Scared, I think. You could ask Emma. Or Vivian.’
‘How would I start that conversation exactly?’ His right index finger barely grazed the inside of her elbow, but Max tingled from the contact. ‘I’m sorry. It should be easier.’
‘It’s not your job. Not just your job. I was pretty terrified before I knew that anyway. Marriage itself scares the hell out of me.’
‘Why?’ He smiled. ‘I’m not saying it doesn’t me too; I’ve never tried it.’
‘What haven’t you tried, John?’ Catherine asked. Charlie trailed behind her. ‘I’m surprised there’s anything you haven’t attempted at least once.’
‘Archaeology,’ Max said. ‘John’s never worked on a dig site. What did you think of the site this morning, Charlie?’ Had it only been that morning? It felt like a lifetime ago. But the conversation stayed on archaeology until everyone went upstairs to their rooms.
Max went to bed, but she twisted under the sheet. Why had John come into her room before dinner? She thought she could half smell him. Finally, she rose and pulled on her robe. The practical one she’d worn to the bath, not the filmy one that matched her nightgown. Under no circumstances would she go to his room.
She padded down the guest hall, past the room she’d interrupted Catherine and Daniel in, past Mrs Gould’s room, past the room she knew John slept in. She walked past three more empty rooms before she heard the thin cry. She knocked on the door and opened it to find Vivian sitting up in bed patting the baby’s back.
‘Want some company?’ Max asked.
‘God, yes. I can’t tell you how tired I am.’
‘Shall I hold her?’
‘Do you know how to wind a baby?’
‘I can take instructions.’ The room smelled of milk and urine. ‘Where’s the nursemaid?’
‘I sent her away. I can’t stand her. She tells me I’m doing it all wrong.’ Vivian carefully handed Samantha to Max, who settled her on her shoulder. ‘Pat her back just at the nappy line, then stroke up. That’s what my mother said. It worked with Bobby.’
Max inhaled the warm baby scent, the softness of the fragile hairs. The body felt so compact and tiny against her. She patted gently.
‘A bit firmer than that.’ Vivian stood up. ‘Can I go to the WC, please?’
‘Of course.’ Max cradled the baby, humming ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ over the baby’s cries. She kept a gentle pat stroke rhythm, and Samantha spat up all over her shoulder as Vivian came back into the room. Max shifted Samantha to the other side.
‘I’m sorry. I should have given you something.’
‘It’s just a robe,’ Max whispered. The cries settled to low snuffles. ‘Is she asleep?’
Vivian came around Max’s back. ‘Yes. Can you keep holding her? I can get her this far, but if I lay her down she wakes up. That’s what the nursemaid wants me to do.’
‘She’s not even two weeks old.’ A pang in her chest reminded her she’d forgotten to do the research. ‘I didn’t do that research for you.’
‘Historical childcare practices aren’t going to convince anyone but you, darling Max.’ Vivian reclined on the bed. ‘Having you here makes a huge difference.’ She smiled. ‘You’re good at that. You’ll make beautiful babies with John.’
Max took a deep breath. She would not cry.
‘Darling, what’s wrong?’
‘I don’t k
now what to do about John. Earlier today I was ready to say yes to his proposal, but I just don’t know.’
‘Why? I like him. I’d snap him up. He adores you.’
Max couldn’t tell Vivian about John’s job. How on earth could she explain? ‘I felt so ready, earlier. The whole thing, marriage, babies, everything. Subsume myself into him.’
Vivian laughed softly. ‘That is the oddest way I’ve ever heard anyone describe marriage.’
‘But isn’t it true? Dad makes these random decisions that Mother has to react to, and he never listens to her properly. You’re here alone with your crazy mother-in-law while Brian’s at work…’
‘He doesn’t want to be.’
‘Sorry.’ Max kept patting Samantha’s back. ‘Do you enjoy marriage?’
‘More than living with my mother, yes. I wish he didn’t work so much, or such odd hours. I hate that he can’t see Samantha and Bobby.’
‘Does he tell you what to do?’
Vivian laughed. ‘Occasionally. Like his mother coming to stay. But I’d like to see the man who told you what to do. I don’t think John’s anywhere near that stupid.’
‘I did what Daniel said. For ages.’ And Vivian didn’t speak her mind to Brian, clearly.
‘Did you? I can’t really remember.’
‘Well, I certainly wasted a lot of time listening to him wittering on.’ She took a deep breath. ‘He cheated, did you know? With Catherine.’
‘Fuck,’ Vivian said. She covered her mouth. ‘Sorry. How did you find out?’
‘I walked in on them. Here. Just down the hall.’
‘Max, John wouldn’t cheat on you. He can’t even look at anyone else.’
‘Oh, Vivian, you don’t…’ Samantha woke up with a cry and Max handed her over. Vivian opened the front of her nightgown, and Max watched as the baby latched on to her nipple. Vivian grimaced. ‘Does it hurt?’
‘No, but the let-down feels odd. A tingly ache.’ She pressed a cloth to her other breast. ‘And I drip everywhere. God knows what the maids think.’
‘That you’re feeding a baby?’
Vivian kissed Samantha’s head. ‘I wish Brian could be with us. I can’t believe you never told me about Catherine. And she’s here. How can you cope?’
‘I don’t think I am.’ Max stretched out beside her on the bed.
‘Look, she’s falling asleep again.’ Vivian beamed down at Samantha. ‘Listen to those snuffly gulps.’
Max watched for a moment in silence. Could she hold a baby like that? Nourish it from her body? ‘My parents already—I have to clear what I do with them. If I marry, won’t it be even more of the same?’
‘Yeah, but you get to have sex when you want and your own house.’ She glanced at Max. ‘And kids are fun. I realise I’m not a great model at the moment, stinking of vomit and milk, but I do love this.’
‘You’re incredible.’ Max stroked Samantha’s hand, and her tiny fingers closed around hers. ‘Did you worry about stuff like this with Brian?’
‘Cheating or subsuming myself?’ She laughed. ‘Neither, honestly. But you wouldn’t be Max if you didn’t worry.’
Doors slammed and raised voices came from the hallway. Samantha roused and started crying. ‘What the hell is that? It’s three in the morning!’ Vivian said, shushing frantically.
One deep voice spoke alone. John.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MAX SLID OFF the bed and peeked out the door. The hallway lights were bright after the dim room, and she blinked. Her mother, John, Catherine and Mrs Gould stood in the hallway.
‘Then where is she?’ John demanded. He wore blue striped pyjamas. He pushed past Catherine and opened a door to an empty room.
‘Maybe she’s with Tommy,’ Catherine said.
‘Tommy?’ Charlie asked, appearing in a dressing gown. ‘I thought she’d be with John.’
Catherine rested her hand on her hip, her orange silk nightgown clinging to her body. Charlie goggled at her.
‘Well, she isn’t,’ Mother said. ‘Mr Knox, we’ll find…’
Max stepped out into the hallway.
‘Oh, Max,’ Mother said.
‘What on earth is going on? You’ve woken up Samantha again.’
John came back out of the empty room and crossed the hall with huge strides. He took her hands. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’ve been helping Vivian.’
His gaze traced over her face and hesitated fractionally on the vomit on her shoulder. His shoulders relaxed.
‘Why is everyone out of bed?’ Max asked.
A flurry of discussion started behind him. John sighed. ‘Catherine told your mother your room was empty. They came knocking on my door. After everything…’ He took a deep breath. ‘I may have overreacted.’
‘Where is that nice nursemaid I hired?’ asked Mrs Gould.
‘Max, your dressing gown,’ Mother said.
‘It’ll wash. Vivian doesn’t like the nursemaid.’ She stared at Mrs Gould.
‘Everybody back to bed,’ Mother said. ‘Catherine, we didn’t need this upset. Next time, please don’t leap to erroneous conclusions. Mr Knox,’ she said, resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘She’s fine. I’m sorry we woke you. You can go back to your room now. Please.’
John relaxed his grip on Max and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. He closed his room door behind him.
‘Darling,’ Mother said.
Max tugged her down the hall. ‘It sounds like Samantha’s asleep again. Why did you come looking?’
‘She startled me.’ Mother tightened the tie on her robe. ‘I should have trusted you. You could have left a note though, darling.’
‘No one generally looks for me at three in the morning.’
Catherine grinned at her before she returned to her room. They’d put her in the bloody yellow room, where she’d screwed Daniel.
‘Just go back to sleep, Mother.’ Max patted Mother’s arm.
‘Don’t stay up all night. It’s not your job to be a nursemaid.’
Max eased back into Vivian’s room.
‘What was that?’
‘Catherine told my mother my room was empty, and when they knocked on John’s door he instigated a full-scale search.’
‘Hmm. Dedication? I’m trying to find a romantic word for a rather over the top reaction.’
Except Vivian didn’t know about the tree. Or the investigation in Berlin.
‘Catherine is a pot-stirrer, isn’t she? I’m surprised you weren’t in John’s room, honestly.’ She smiled. ‘Not that I’m not grateful.’
‘I had a lot to think about.’
‘Was he disgusted by the vomit?’
Max shook her head.
‘Then marry him. Brian doesn’t do all that well with it, and she’s his kid. You want somebody who is okay with vomit.’
Blood went more with his job. ‘I might go back to my room now, if you don’t mind.’
‘Of course.’
Max leaned down to kiss Samantha’s head. ‘I’ll get you some fresh water first.’ Max carried the pitcher out in the hallway. The green room door opened and Tommy stuck his head out.
‘Oh Max, I wanted to talk to you. What was all that ruckus?’
‘Nothing.’ She tightened her hold on the pitcher. ‘I don’t want to talk.’
His nose wrinkled at the stain on her robe. ‘It would only take a moment.’ He grabbed her arm, but she jerked free.
‘I don’t want to talk. Good night, Tommy.’
‘Maybe tomorrow.’ He closed his door.
A sliver of light that crossed the hall disappeared, but it clearly had come from John’s partially opened door. She sighed. Tommy couldn’t be violent, surely. But having John there didn’t hurt.
Max came downstairs early and took some apples from the kitchen. When she came back upstairs, John was already in the entryway. They headed outside.
‘I’m not convinced Catherine isn’t watching us,’ John said.
‘She’s certainly
stirring up trouble,’ Max said. ‘But I doubt she’s awake. She always missed early classes.’ She passed him an apple.
‘I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to wake the baby.’
‘You weren’t overreacting in Scotland when I disappeared.’
John didn’t smile. ‘True.’
Max touched his arm. ‘Vivian’s terribly impressed you had so little reaction to vomit.’
‘Honey, nobody who went through the war could possibly mind a little spit up.’
‘Brian does. Maybe he’s just squeamish.’ She bit into her apple. ‘You want to call in about Catherine?’
‘I didn’t find anything in Berlin. My colleague was, um, working another angle of the investigation, and he felt it was conclusively closed.’
‘He felt,’ Max repeated.
‘I didn’t agree at the time, but they said to come home, and I wasn’t going to complain about that. It’s too damned convenient them being here now.’ He sighed. ‘Norfolk is beautiful.’ John waved at the expanse of green lawn, neatly ringed by woods.
‘Even with the faint hint of silage in the air?’ Max asked.
‘I grew up on a farm. That’s nothing.’ He laughed. ‘But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to sunrise at four thirty in this country. That part of farming I hate. Actually, I hate pretty much all aspects of farming.’
They arrived at the stables, and John held the door for her. She inhaled the dusty smell of hay and horse. It’d been too long since she’d been down here. Something clicked inside, and a figure loomed over her. Before she could react, John shoved her behind him.
‘Ah, Max. Sorry,’ the man said.
Max stepped forward. ‘Ken. You startled me.’ She pressed her hand to John’s arm, feeling the tension coiled in his muscles. ‘This is one of our guests, John Knox. John, Ken Marshall. He runs the stables.’ Her smile felt a little tight. ‘Ken’s father is our head gardener. We grew up running around like hellions together in the summers.’ She exhaled. ‘The moustache is new.’
‘You should have told me you wanted to go out this morning. I’d have had Poppy ready.’ He eyed John. ‘You seem skittish. You all right with horses?’
The Running Lie Page 16