Crushed

by Pratt, Lulu

  She was it. The beginning, middle, and end of my story. She was the reason I was supposed to move back, the next chapter of my life. With her, I had all the answers and ambition to go after my dreams and claim what was mine.

  “Yes! Yes! Ford!” She called my name as her body tightened around me.

  “Give it to me,” I growled, fighting back my own explosion.

  “I love you!” she cried as her body unwound in my arms.

  It was all I could take. I forfeited the fight, coming long and hard as I held her body in place, finding the deepest of her warmth.

  “I love you, Charlotte!” I grunted loudly as my climax took over me. Frozen by the impact, I panted as I regained control. I was spent, feeling as though I had given her everything I had to offer, releasing all I’d held back for days.

  Slowly, I kissed along her neck and below her ear. I whispered how much I loved her as she whispered it back. We were back in our space of supreme intimacy, the sacred place I’d feared I’d lost forever. With Charlotte still panting in my arms, I vowed to never let anything or anyone take her away from me. I needed her. She was the missing piece to my life puzzle and I would never let her go.

  Chapter 37

  CHARLOTTE

  LYING IN FORD’S arms felt like a dream. I’d feared everything was ruined when our relationship was brought to light, and then my subsequent refusal to speak to him. When my brother barged into Ford’s house, I thought for sure it would be the end of anything building between us. From the way Ford and Marshall fought, I thought it best to just step back.

  My biggest fear was never my brother figuring out about our relationship, but our relationship ruining their friendship. Marshall and Ford had been more like brothers growing up. Even when Ford moved to Minneapolis, the two stayed in touch, talking and texting regularly. He was my brother’s closest friend, and the thought that I might have ruined that scared me.

  Hearing my brother encourage me to fix things with Ford was more than I expected. On top of that, he had heard and agreed with my argument that he was too protective. It was the perfect resolution to more than one problem that had been bothering me.

  While at the time it felt like the worst possible thing had happened, it turned out that it was the best. Marshall now knew how I felt, frustration I’d held back for years. And he knew about my relationship with Ford, which meant we no longer had to hide anything.

  An indescribable weight had been lifted from my shoulders. A burden I hadn’t fully realized I was carrying. The past weeks with Ford felt like a practice round. What felt amazing was very restrictive, constantly worried about being exposed.

  I could tell the difference, lying in his arms with no worries. It was liberating to know we could flaunt our love in the open. The thought made me smile from the inside, remembering Ford tell me he was in love with me. It was the sweetest song I’d ever heard, my favorite memory thus far.

  “Hey,” Ford squeezed me. His arms were still wrapped around me tightly.

  “Hey,” I smiled, staring into his dark gray eyes.

  “You’re so pretty when your mind is racing,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss my forehead.

  “What does that mean?” I giggled, confused by his compliment.

  “I just know when you’re deep in thought,” he shrugged, leaning on his elbow.

  “Oh yeah? And how do you know that, Mr. Delvey?” I wondered. He was right, I was deep in thought. But I doubted his ability to tell just from watching me.

  “You do this thing, where you scrunch your nose and purse your lips,” he explained, mocking me as he imitated the face.

  “I do not!” I argued through laughter, swatting his arm.

  “I promise! It’s the cutest thing,” he said, leaning down to kiss me again. “Let’s watch a movie. Something to relax you from those deep thoughts clouding your brain.”

  I rolled my eyes before agreeing. Together, we searched the bedroom to find our clothes that had been thrown in every direction in our haste to get in the bed. Ford’s T-shirt was torn, which left me feeling a bit embarrassed. I was so desperate for him when I first got there, I turned into a version of myself I wasn’t used to.

  When we were finally dressed, we made our way to the living room. “I see you’ve begun unpacking,” I said, glancing around the living area.

  There were still boxes in every direction, but I could see the change. Before, he didn’t even have a TV. Now, there was a stand and a TV, a vast improvement.

  “I had to do something to stop myself from calling you every two minutes,” Ford joked as he handed me the remote control.

  “You didn’t even call me that many times,” I said. It was something I hadn’t told Jackie when recounting all the details of the fallout.

  Ford had called many times the day Marshall showed up, but after that, the calls decreased significantly. At one point, I feared he had lost interest, or that he was upset with me. The entire drive to his house was riddled with anxiety, wondering if he would open the door or be happy to see me.

  “I thought you had kicked me to the curb,” he said, his tone dark with a bad memory.

  “You can’t be serious,” I said, dumbfounded. There was no way I would ever have thought Ford would believe I would dump him. He was my dream guy. I’d crushed over him most of my life. But after what my brother had told me about fearing I would break Ford’s heart, I was beginning to see him in a new light.

  “When you left, you didn’t even look at me. I couldn’t read how you felt. And then when you didn’t answer my calls or texts, I thought you just didn’t have anything to say to me. Honestly, I thought maybe Marshall had taken your phone, so I bought my ego some time considering you couldn’t call me. But when I talked to your brother and he said you were staying at Jackie’s, I realized I was really being ignored. It was soul crushing.”

  It was shocking to learn he had put so much thought into it. I always assumed Ford was more nonchalant about our relationship, but that didn’t appear to be the case. Because my feelings were so intense, I figured his couldn’t be as strong. It was comforting to know that we were both so crazy about each other.

  “I didn’t know what to say,” I answered, pausing for a second. “It’s funny you thought Marshall had taken my phone. I told him he tries to be my dad, and it seemed like he got the point,” I said.

  “Yeah, he told me about it. Said you put him in his place,” he smiled.

  “He did not!” I laughed. I had never heard about that version of my brother. It was nice to have the inside track.

  “I swear!” He held his hands up defensively. “It seemed like whatever you said got through to him, because he felt really bad for what happened.”

  “He’s the one who told me to come over here,” I replied.

  “Are you serious?” He looked at me in shock.

  “Yep. I drove his car.” I giggled at how ridiculous it was.

  “I’m glad he came around, but I do want to talk about the things he said when we were fighting,” Ford changed his tone, growing more serious.

  “You don’t have to explain anything.”

  “I know, but I want to,” he said sternly. “Your brother was right. I don’t have the best reputation with women. I’ve shared that with you before. I wasn’t the romantic guy or the boyfriend type. All of this is new for me. It’s something I’ve only done with you, so just talk to me and let me know if I’m not doing something right. But don’t ever worry that I’m not fully into you. I don’t want this to be some short-term thing, and I don’t ever want to lose you. I’m not going to push it so soon, but I do still want you to move in here with me.”

  I blinked slowly, having completely pushing his earlier request out of my mind. In the midst of dealing with my brother and recounting everything with Jackie, I’d never let myself dwell on him asking me to move in with him.

  “Are you sure? After everything?” I asked.

  “Of course I’m sure. Especially after everything. Situ
ations like that will teach you whether you truly want something. If either of us had been able to just walk away from what we had, then maybe it wasn’t as special as we thought. But the fact that we’re here together now proves to me that it’s as special as I thought it was.”

  “And you said you’re not romantic?” I teased, watching his handsome face contort into a grin.

  “I said I wasn’t. You’ve changed some things about me,” he smiled. “So, are we going to watch a movie or what? I should have Netflix installed,” he looked towards the TV.

  I pushed one button after another on the remote control, but nothing happened. “Have you even plugged this thing in?” I quizzed.

  We both laughed, but I couldn’t help but to realize something. Ford jumped from the couch and knelt beside the TV searching for the plug. Looking around his living room, that was the state of everything. He had only just begun moving in.

  Plenty of boxes had yet to be touched, and what he had unpacked was barely out of the box, not even plugged into the wall. It was the beginning stages at best. And if I moved in now, we could make this place our home together.

  I’d never lived away from my brother, but it felt like the perfect time to declare my independence and spread my wings. Living with Ford was a dream I didn’t want to pass up. He was right. The situation had proven what I wanted, and that was a life with him. There was no reason to delay when I already knew I was certain about wanting it to happen.

  “Okay, try it now,” Ford instructed, plopping down beside me.

  “I want to move in,” I blurted out.

  “What? Are you serious?” he asked, a stunned look on his face.

  “I’m positive. I want to make a life with you,” I answered truthfully.

  “I would love that, but I think you should take a few days to think about it first,” he said, but the grin on his face said otherwise.

  “Okay, I’ll sleep on it in your bed, and then get back to you,” I leaned in, whispering my words on his full lips.

  “If you think we’re going to be doing any sleeping in that bed, you really don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” he whispered back before sliding his tongue past my lips.

  Moaning against his tongue, I leaned forward to deepen our connection, already yearning for more of him. It was my fairy tale reconstructed. We would be able to live together, falling deeper in love with each other every day. Closing my eyes, I let his hands lead me, so happy to be back in his grasp.

  Chapter 38

  FORD

  “I REALLY WANT to talk about the new filing system at the meeting today,” Sam said. We were sitting in my office, waiting for the staff meeting to begin.

  “I think you should. It’ll be the best way to get the information out there,” I said. He had been talking about his improved system since lunch, and I still didn’t quite understand how it worked.

  Although I initially thought he took his job a little too seriously, I’d grown to appreciate his enthusiasm and all he did for the team.

  It seemed my team liked my engagement and personal way of leading, but a few of them weren’t big fans of me joining in on their training sessions. His conversations showed that it left them intimidated rather than inspired. We laughed about it over coffee before agreeing that I should only go for moral support going forward.

  “Well, let me get in there before it gets too crowded,” Sam suggested.

  “Yeah, we don’t want to be the last ones,” I agreed, leading the way out of my office.

  Just before we walked in, my pocket vibrated. Lifting my phone, I saw the private number, the second time I’d received one since getting to work. Having missed the first one, I figured I should be sure to answer, in case it was important.

  “Save me a seat, Sam. I’ve got to take this,” I held up my phone and he nodded as I stepped to the side.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Hello. Is this Ford Delvey?” the caller asked. The voice was robotic and monotone.

  “Uh, yes, who’s calling?” I asked skeptically.

  “We just wanted to check the status on your last home delivery from Minneapolis. You have one more shipment,” the voice said.

  “Oh, right,” I laughed, now understanding why the voice sounded so strange. The moving company used this strange auto service that only sounded half human.

  “Can you please confirm your address?” they asked.

  “Yes, no problem,” I answered before completing the prompts. I searched my mind for what I was still waiting for from the moving company, but quickly forgot about the call as I walked into the meeting, sliding into my seat beside Sam just as the lights dimmed for a presentation.

  I felt like I was finally settling into life in Cincinnati. My job was going smoothly. Everyone at work was nice and helpful, creating a fun family vibe. And at home things were even better. Though Charlotte was still debating the permanent move, we’d decided to spend our first intentional night together.

  Before, she would come over and we would decide it best to stay at my place to avoid the drive. Or, sometimes, she just didn’t want to go back to her place so late. But this would be the first time we planned for her to stay with me. We would fall asleep and wake up together, two of my favorite things in the world.

  I didn’t want to rush Charlotte, but I really hoped she did decide to move in with me after considering the pros and cons. It was a big step, that much I knew, but it would be great for both of us. I’d already decided I was going to buy her a car if she moved in, because she worked too far from my house to take a bus. Besides, I wanted her to have a car anyway, and I hated the idea of her riding a bus alone. People could be crazy in the city, and I didn’t want her dealing with any nonsense on her way to the bakery. She assured me it wasn’t a big deal, saying she had taken the bus for years, but I didn’t care.

  Today, she still had her brother’s car, so she stayed in my place and I gave her a spare key in case she wanted to leave and come back. My hope was that she would be there when I got home from work. It was all I thought about all day, but I made sure not to share my hopes with her because Charlotte was the type to cancel her entire day to appease me.

  “And that’s how we want to see things done,” a loud voice jolted me back to reality. It was Sam, explaining his new system. I hadn’t even noticed him leave his seat. And now that I’d missed his entire presentation with my loud thoughts, I figured I’d never understand his new system.

  Everyone began to file out of the conference room, while some gathered at the front to ask questions. I made my way back to my office before grabbing my work bag and heading out for the day. I was in a rush to get back to Charlotte, if she was still at my place.

  The drive home was longer than usual because of an accident on the highway. It seemed no one was hurt, but everyone was interested in slowing down to see the details as they passed the incident. When I finally made it to my house, I was saddened to see an empty driveway. Charlotte had left, but I planned to call her when I got settled to see when she would be back.

  I unlocked the door, feeling a little down, when the strong aroma of roast chicken welcomed me. The smells talked directly to my stomach as I followed the soft music to the kitchen to find Charlotte decorating a round cake.

  “Hi,” I smiled, watching her dressed in her apron.

  “Oh! Ford! Sorry,” she hurried to turn down the music. “I found your stereo and have been having a ball. I love your kitchen.” She smiled as she made her way to me, planting a kiss on my lips.

  “I hope it’ll soon be your kitchen, too,” I said, kissing her again.

  “How much longer until my answer can just be accepted?” she asked playfully.

  “I don’t think I can give an unbiased answer with the smell of roast chicken wafting through the air.” I grinned, pulling her close.

  “Then I guess we’ll have to wait a little longer.” She smiled before deepening our kiss. “Okay, give me a few minutes. I have to finish dinner and th
en we have the whole night to ourselves,” she said.

  “What happened to Marshall’s car?” I wondered.

  “Oh, I went home to get some clothes and things and decided to just give him the car back. I figured I would just be here anyway. And there’s a bus that comes nearby,” she answered while returning to decorating her cake.

  “You took a bus all the way out here?” I asked, noticing the increase in my pitch.

  “Relax, babe. It didn’t take too long, because I was the only person on it!”

  “I’m going to change clothes, okay?” I changed the subject and she nodded me on.

  Excusing myself from the kitchen, I switched into a pair of sweats before beginning my search for her new car. There was no way I was going to let her spend an hour or two on the bus every day. I knew I lived far from the city, and she wasn’t going to sacrifice to live with me.

  At one moment, I looked up from the sofa, where I was searching on my laptop. I noticed some of the things she’d unpacked – a vase, which she’d filled with peach roses and sat on the dining table, the place settings she’d set along the table, and of course my stereo, which pumped out music softly as sports highlights played on the TV. Charlotte was in the kitchen, still finishing up with dinner. She’d finished the cake, setting it on the counter in a glass case she must have brought from home, because I was certain I didn’t have anything that fancy. The roast chicken smelled better every second. I’d gone in to peek at it as Charlotte stirred mashed potatoes on the stove before giving me a small spoonful to taste. It felt like home, for the first time since I moved. Coming home to Charlotte making dinner, feeling comfortable in our shared space. It was a dream, even better than I’d imagined. I only wished it could be my daily routine.

  Chapter 39

  CHARLOTTE

  I HADN’T BEEN able to return to sleep after Ford’s goodbye kiss before he headed off to work. We’d stayed up pretty late, but he somehow still woke up before his alarm clock. Moving quietly through the room, he managed to get dressed without waking me. But his cologne was what gently pulled me from my dreams just in time to catch a glimpse of him before he left. Noticing I was awake, he knelt to kiss me before telling me to go back to bed and leaving.