by Pratt, Lulu
It was my very own fairy tale, one I didn’t realize had become so detailed in my mind. Having it all wiped away without so much as a warning made it impossible to accept how special it was to me. Now that I would never get to experience the life I’d been imagining, I felt a piece of me crumbling deep inside my chest.
It was unbearable. Unable to take another second of what felt like torture, surrounded by what could have been mine, I raced up the steps to the bedroom. Quickly, I stuffed everything I recognized into a bag as my vision blurred, the tears stinging the corners of my eyes.
“Charlotte, wait!” I could hear the desperation in Ford’s voice as he called my name. Surely, he too felt a future that was so close to slipping away.
I turned to face him, feeling the warmth of my tears on my cheeks. He stared in silence, probably as devastated as me. There was nothing either of us could or say, and so we stood in silence until I found the courage to turn away, continuing to pack my things.
“Can’t we talk about this?” I felt the warmth of his breath on my shoulder as his hard body pressed against mine, his hand falling over my own to halt my packing.
“What is there to talk about, Ford?” I asked without turning to face him. The chemistry between us still cut through the air. Our connection was too strong to pretend, but I needed to be smart and think with my head rather than my heart.
He had a child now, and what appeared to be a headache of an ex to deal with. Ford’s life was about to drastically change. He needed to get his life in order, and I needed to accept that my life no longer involved him.
“Charlotte, I don’t even know if it’s true yet,” he argued weakly. Finally, I turned to face him, angered by the ridiculous allegation.
“Are you kidding me? Did you see her? Emma looks exactly like you!” I belted out my hurt, remembering the large gray eyes of the sweet girl. She was beyond adorable, filled with joy and energy.
While I struggled to contact Ford at his job, I played with Emma. His mother was not interested in entertaining her daughter, more concerned with the details of Ford’s life. She asked me one inappropriate question after another, everything from how much money Ford made to the cost of his home.
I was grateful not to know the answers, because lying had never been my forte. Holding her daughter, I was taken aback by the little girl’s sweet nature. Her tiny fingers wrapped around my hair, playfully tugging as she giggled.
“Charlotte, I barely know her. It was one night,” Ford continued.
“What does that say about you?” I asked, watching the shame cloud his gray eyes as they looked to the floor.
“I’m not proud of it, Charlotte,” he said, his words barely above a whisper. “I’m not perfect… like you.”
I felt the anger begin to boil in my belly, upset that he could ever try to flip this to something about me. “Nothing about my life has been perfect, Ford,” I assured him.
“I don’t mean it that way,” he rushed, holding my hips before I could turn to leave. The emotions in his eyes revealed the sincerity in his words. “Charlotte, you are perfect to me. You’re an angel, with no baggage or past. I’m not the same.”
His eyes searched mine, but I didn’t have the same affection swirling through mine. More than anything, I was confused. How wild a life could he have lived to have a child without so much as a clue? And were there more? Ford had never been secretive, so I was aware of the way he spent his evenings in Minneapolis. I just never expected them to come back to haunt him so drastically.
“I lived a life I’m not the most proud of, baby. I’ve told you about that. I’ve never had the type of connection with anyone that I share with you.” He took my fingers in his hand as he continued, “I’ve never fell in love with anyone but you, Charlotte.”
My insides softened a bit, the anger weakened by the reminder of our love. What we had was special. It was everything I’d ever wanted. Ford had given me hope, something that I had lost long ago. He helped me see beyond where I was, to imagine a life of my dreams. With him, the wildest figments of my imagination felt possible.
“I’m not that same person. You have to believe me. I’ve changed so much being with you and only want to keep building. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, the woman of my dreams. Please can we just…” he paused.
“There’s really nothing to say. You don’t even know what you want right now, and that’s understandable. You’ve just learned you have a child, and that should be your priority. How can you ask anything of me without even knowing what is to come of your life?”
Looking into his dark eyes, I realized that Ford had never expected such a change of events either. “Baby, don’t let this come between us,” he urged, stepping to close the space between us. I could feel myself weaken, needing to be held by him, wrapped in his strong arms.
“I wanted that,” the words escaped me before I could catch myself.
“Wanted what?” he asked, tilting my chin so that he could look into my eyes.
“I wanted to have your babies, Ford. I wanted to build a life with you and have a future together. Now, that’s all ruined. You already have a life with someone else. I don’t see how I could ever fit into that picture.”
“You are the picture, Charlotte. Everything I’ve ever wanted is you. You’re the missing puzzle piece to my life. Please, just work through this with me. I will never disappoint you again, I promise.” He was begging now, his grip desperate and tight.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I whispered, grabbing my half-full bag from the dresser. “I’ll come back for the rest of my things.”
Slinging the bag over my shoulder, I forced my shoulders back, holding my head high. Refusing to be ashamed or defeated, I walked slowly down the steps. Everything felt like a dream. Even my legs were unsteady.
“Can I call you, at least?” Ford asked as I descended the stairs in a hurry.
“To say what?” I wondered, glancing over my shoulder for one last look at the life I was leaving behind. Ford’s eyes lowered, unable to answer.
“I’ll see you around,” I called, unwilling to pretend this would be the end. While our relationship might be over, there were too many ties between us for our friendship to ever die.
Chapter 42
FORD
AFTER TWO days of text messages, I’d finally convinced Virginia to meet me for what I described as coffee. She’d made it clear that money was all she was after.
Sitting in the coffee shop, I tried my best not to think of all I’d destroyed with my actions. Charlotte left, and I couldn’t even blame her. I had a mess to handle, and she didn’t deserve to be thrown into the middle of something that had nothing to do with her.
It was still unreal, knowing I had a daughter. Part of me wanted to question paternity, but I felt the same way as Charlotte. The little girl looked just like me, and the feeling I got when our eyes locked was all I needed for confirmation.
Still, I wasn’t sure how exactly my life would have to change to accommodate her. Regardless of how brief my history with her mother was, I wanted to be the best father I could be to Emma. She was innocent in all of this, and I never wanted her to feel unwanted in anyway.
Besides how she had barged into my life, Virginia hadn’t done anything to make me think she was a bad mother. No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn’t remember anything about our evening together some eighteen months earlier. I knew we met at a club, some gala for the airport, but that was it. I could recall waking up beside her, having the awkward conversation leading to walking her out of my place – but that was it.
Just as I was beginning to lighten up on my mental criticism, Virginia walked into the café, turning the head of every patron enjoying their morning. An hour before noon, and she was already dressed for the nightclub, wearing a sequined dress that stopped well above her knee, and metallic blue high heels. She stomped across the café, pushing a stroller, and I could sense she was enjoying the attention of strangers.
“I’m glad you finally came to your senses,” she smiled, settling down in the seat.
Paying her no mind, I went to the stroller and reached inside for Emma. She was the cutest kid I’d ever seen – her smile was infectious. Lifting her small body, she giggled as my fingers gripped her sides.
“Are you ticklish, little lady?” I chuckled, setting her on my lap.
“Hi, can I get you something?” The waitress appeared.
“I’ll have a double espresso,” I nodded, certain I would need the extra boost for what I intended to face.
“Double espresso coming right up. And what about you, ma’am?” she asked Virginia.
“Ma’am? Are you calling me that because of that kid? I’m not some old maid,” Virginia sassed just when I thought I couldn’t be embarrassed further.
“Absolutely not. I was only being respectful. I’m sorry I offended you. Can I get you a drink? Maybe a pastry?” The waitress remained professional.
“Uh,” Virginia glanced towards the menu written on a large chalkboard behind the counter. “I’ll take a decaf latte with soy milk and two Splendas.”
“Sure thing,” the waitress scribbled her order down. “Anything else?”
“Do you have any gluten-free pastries?” Virginia asked.
“Unfortunately, we don’t,” the waitress half smiled with her response.
“Okay, then that’s it,” Virginia rolled her eyes, annoyed they didn’t cater to her diet.
“I’ll get that right out for you folks,” she smiled to me before walking away.
“She wants to fuck you,” Virginia accused before the waitress was out of ear shot.
“Stop,” I warned through gritted teeth.
“What? It seems everyone does these days. How’s your little girlfriend? She seemed a bit bummed by my news.” Virginia smiled arrogantly.
“Please don’t bring up my girlfriend,” I sighed deeply. Virginia looked pleased, like her dig had aggravated me as she intended. Honestly, it had nothing to do with her. It was speaking the word ‘girlfriend’ that upset me, knowing I’d lost the woman I wanted to be much more than that.
Charlotte was so special, I could see my future crystal clear when she was around. It all centered around her, and so now that she was gone I felt lost again. My life was ordinary without her, the memory becoming more painful by the day. When we were together, I was the best version of myself. Now that I hadn’t so much as heard from her in days, I was merely going through the motions.
“Does she even know you? I think she thought you were a prince charming or something.” Virginia laughed at the possibility.
She wasn’t the only one who would react to seeing how Charlotte saw me. Unlike most people, Charlotte saw the best in me. She didn’t have expectations for me, just acceptance. It was a love I’d never experienced from a woman besides my mother. The last person I wanted to discuss the memory with was Virginia.
“I wanted to talk to you about how we can best care for Emma,” I said, rocking the small girl on my knee. She laughed, oblivious to the tension around her.
“Oh, I’ve already mapped that out,” Virginia answered quickly. “I’ll need five grand a month to take good care of her and keep up with my maintenance.”
“Your maintenance?” I repeated.
“You know – hair, nails, spa treatments,” she answered matter-of-factly as the waitress arrived with our drinks.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asked, setting the paper cups on the table.
“We can take these to go, right?” I asked.
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry, did you want to dine in?” she asked, her cheeks blushing with embarrassment.
“No, this is perfect,” I assured her, rising from my seat to leave while I struggled to carry Emma. Reaching into my back pocket, I retrieved a twenty-dollar bill, dropping it on the table as I reached for my coffee.
“We’re leaving?” Virginia asked.
“Yeah, there’s something I want to share with you,” I said, leading the way through the café after thanking the waitress. Virginia followed closely as I made my way to the elevator in the building next door.
It was something I hadn’t wanted to do, but after she reiterated the same ridiculous argument she’d been making over text, I knew I had no other option. The elevator doors closed, leaving just me, the woman determined to extort me, and my beautiful child who was now resting comfortably against my chest.
“What’s this, your secret apartment?” Virginia asked with a sly smile.
“Secret apartment?”
“I know you miss all of this, Ford,” she turned to face me, her hand on her hip to exaggerate her curves.
“I barely remember it,” I muttered just as the elevator door opened.
Virginia followed me through the glass door leading to the office as she pushed the stroller. Still carrying Emma, I struggled to open the door while also holding my double espresso. A young Latina opened the door for me.
“Hello, Mr. Delvey,” she said. “Mr. Bolton is waiting for you. Please, go straight in.”
For the first time, Virginia looked caught off guard. She looked to the receptionist and then me, but thankfully she continued to follow. The office was filled with mahogany wood. The receptionist desk crowded the main room, with only a few chairs for clients to sit.
The narrow hall leading to Mr. Bolton’s office was lined with his accomplishments – awards given for his expertise in family law. I’d researched him extensively before setting up our first meeting. He’d been the one to explain my rights, assuring me I could fight to be in Emma’s life if that was what I wanted.
“Hello, Ford. Good to see you again,” Mr. Bolton greeted me with a hearty smile. At just five foot, I towered over the attorney, but his personality was larger than the both of us.
“Always a pleasure,” I accepted his extended hand.
“And this must be Emma,” he smiled, touching my daughter’s cheek affectionately. “Hello, ma’am. My name is Andrew Bolton. I’m happy to meet you.”
“Don’t call me ma’am,” was all Virginia said in a weak voice as she brushed past Mr. Bolton without shaking his hand. “What is this, Ford?”
“Have a seat,” I motioned towards the two upholstered chairs. She sat without question after pushing the stroller to the middle of the room. Carefully, I placed Emma in her stroller before sitting beside Virginia.
“Virginia, I sought out Mr. Bolton trying to find a resolution to the problems we seem to be having,” I explained, hesitant as I feared how she would react.
“And what did you tell him?” Virginia snapped at Mr. Bolton, who was just sitting in his chair behind the large mahogany desk.
“Virginia, I want you to understand what I do. I try to be the voice of reason between two parties, much like yourself and Ford. You two have a joint party between you now. My hope is to be able to show you to higher ground, so you can communicate effectively and express yourselves without argument.”
Mr. Bolton explained his desire just as he had to me, but Virginia appeared much less accepting of his help. She crossed her arms defensively as she stood from her seat. “And what is it that you want, Ford?” she asked me.
A silent glare from Mr. Bolton instructed me to remain silent. He’d assumed she would be vocal in this meeting, and he planned to be my voice. I nodded, clenching my teeth to hold back the many words desperate to break free.
“Mr. Delvey only seeks an equitable and fair split of time and expenses to adequately care for Emma. He is happy to split custody and costs in a fifty-fifty split and prepared to work together with you to ensure Emma’s care in your home and his meet both of your standards.”
I could feel Virginia’s glare at my side, but I focused on Mr. Bolton, so not to get into a stare down with her as he predicted. He’d told me how these meetings could get tense, and often volatile. My hope was that we could resolve this on our own, without involving the court system.
Mr
. Bolton had explained how timely and expensive a court battle could be. If we decided to go that route, years could pass before finding a resolution, wasting priceless time with my daughter. The last thing I wanted was to upset Virginia, turning her against me even further.
“What are you talking about?” she snapped, pacing the small office as her high heels dug into the carpet. “I don’t want any equal split. I want him to pay me monthly for the next eighteen years, and another four if Emma decides to go to college.”
My eyebrows shot up. She had given this some thought, but there was no way I was going to become a bank to finance Virginia’s lifestyle with no relationship with my first-born child.
“Unfortunately, that decision is not yours to make,” Mr. Bolton continued. “Ford has a say in how he wants to participate in the parenting of his child. He wants to build a relationship with the young girl, and is willing to go as far as returning to Minneapolis to make this easier on you.”
My stomach tensed at the possibility of leaving Cincinnati. Not because it was my hometown, but because I knew it would mean seeing Charlotte less, if at all. Things between us were strained to say the least, but I hoped with time we could at least rebuild our friendship. Moving away would complicate that further, but Mr. Bolton had explained how it would help in the mediation if I showed a willingness to meet her halfway.
“I don’t want him coming back!” Virginia’s outburst brought me a bit of relief. At least she wouldn’t make me live up to the drastic change I wasn’t truly prepared to endure. I didn’t even want to think about how I’d manage to uproot my career again, or my living situation.
“Well, that’s fine. Mr. Delvey doesn’t have to return to Minneapolis. It is a short flight between the two cities. Surely, traveling for custody arrangements won’t be an issue.” My lawyer’s professionalism was impressive, considering Virginia’s behavior. She continued pacing, her arms crossed, stopping only to challenge him.