by Ace Gray
“Yes.” I barely got the word out.
“Fuck!” he roared and his hand left my neck and he twisted, driving that hand, now a fist through the window beside him.
The loud thud of his hand barely preceded the glass splitting then cascading to the ground.
“Cole!” Horse shouted.
I had been about ready to scold him, but his name was still stuck in my throat. My eyes didn’t shoot to the jagged remnants of the window but rather toward the booming voice that had cut mine off. I blew out a deep sigh.
“What the fuck are you two doing? You’re close enough to Mick’s place that you could get caught.” Horse leaned in, baring his big white teeth in a snarl rather than smile.
“You fucked her?” Cole snarled, all three of our faces so close that hot breath curled between us.
“You watched me.” He narrowed his eyes at Cole. “It seemed like your plan B when Mickey wanted to.”
“Not. Just. Now.” Cole spat each word out.
Horse arched back, his hands grabbed the glass barely hanging on to the side of the car with enough force to make it crunch and crinkle further.
“You were gone. She was broken,” he snarled but then his voice petered out. “I was broken.”
Cole’s eyes flashed again. This time pain seemed to snap though them. Wordlessly he slid me into the passenger seat. His hands returned to the wheel and gripped. Hard. Harder than they’d gripped me. Something churned in my stomach but I couldn’t really tell what.
“Home. Now.” Cole’s jaw flexed as he ground his teeth.
Horse disappeared from the window and slunk back to wherever he’d come from. And thank God because Cole revved the engine and took off so wildly he would have obliterated Horse’s toes. I let him rev the engine and barrel down the street, lights whipping so fast over the top of us that it was almost like a strobe.
“Cole, love, calm down.” I reached over and rested my hand on his thigh.
The muscles of his neck simply clenched and rolled in response. His knuckles tightened again, turning my favorite tattoo, Felix the black cat, white.
“We were both lost. I think…” I choked on my words, remembering the darkness that had tried to swallow me. “I think we were both just trying to feel something, anything, besides the void. We were trying to feel you.”
His brow just furrowed deeper as he huffed.
“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t come. I couldn’t.” I looked down at where my hands rested in my lap, fidgeting against my naked skin and the edges of his jacket.
The car slowed and pulled off to the side and I braced myself for his fury. But he turned off the engine and sagged back into his seat, into the silence.
“You think I’m mad at you?” he asked softly.
“You seem downright livid.” My lip trembled until he reached over and captured it.
“I was furious with myself. I am furious with myself.” He closed his eyes. “I wanna be that dark knight for you. I do. But how many reminders will there be that I’ve fallen too far? That I have no prayer of being the knight? Of only managing dark?”
“Cole,” I reached for his hand, “do you do everything you can to protect me?”
“Yes,” he said sharply.
“And Horse?”
“Always.” His voice softened.
“Are you really going to help me get those girls back?”
He nodded and finally opened his eyes to look at me. The green of them glowed, unwavering, even in the twilight.
“Then that’s all I need to know. It’s all you need to remember.” I reached up to shove my hand through his styled hair then let it come down to cradle his cheek. “I watched Siobhan die. I watched you get tortured and Horse get shot. That man the other day…” I could still feel the blood on my toes. “But I don’t see beast or devil. I see you. And every time I’m face to face with Mickey, I know this isn’t going to be an easy fight. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth fighting. It doesn’t mean I don’t see the battle you’re waging.” I took a deep breath. “I love you, Cole. I love you so much.”
One last time his eyes flashed, this time it made my toes curl.
“Upstairs.” He cleared his throat. “Now.”
I hadn’t noticed that we’d parked outside the shop and smiled the slightest bit as I went to get out of the car.
“Wait.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to my seat.
He shot me a faint smile then shoved out of his door. In a few swift movements, he circled the front of the car and appeared at my side. He bent down and pulled on me.
“Wrap yourself around me, Ladylove,” he murmured into my hair and I gladly did what I was told. He pulled me up and purposely brushed my sex. I shivered and shimmied in his arms. “I love you too. You’re more than worth fighting for.” His words were a low, husky whisper against my ear.
I squeezed on him as tightly as I possibly could. I nuzzled further into his neck when headlights washed across my bare legs. Cole paused for a moment, his hands shifting to find a way to shield me rather than tease me. But then he blew out a deep breath as the engine died and the light right along with it.
“You upstairs, too,” he commanded and it left little question as to who had pulled up behind us.
I smiled at Horse as Cole turned to carry me up the stairs. He didn’t put me down until we were in the apartment. But then he set me down gingerly, right next to Horse and stepped away.
“How do I ever really say sorry to you two?” He met first my gaze then Horse’s.
“I know Cole. I really do.” I bit my lip as I played with the edges of his blazer where it brushed my thighs.
“And me?” The corner of Horse’s mouth quirked up. “Well, I heard something about a blow job.”
18.
Cole
I couldn’t help but crack a full smile, even though it ached.
“Any excuse to get at my dick, right?”
“If pretending I don’t forgive you, don’t love you, gets me a pity BJ, I’m down.” Horse was joking, but the beginning of that sentence wasn’t lost on me. Pretending.
“You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if I said yes.” I shot him a sly look.
“We can find out.” He stepped toward me; Elle was watching the both of us, her small smile playing on her lips.
“You have a boyfriend.” I turned and arched an eyebrow at him.
“I had a Cole first. I’ll have a Cole always.” He met my gaze head on then twisted. “A Fucktart, too,” he added as he reached back and pulled Elle into the massive crook of his shoulder. “Anyone who can’t understand that…” His face darkened for a moment but then his gorgeous, mischievous smile spread across his face.
And there it was, my invitation. My invitation to relish them, their forgiveness and more importantly us—the us we were when things were simpler. And with three sturdy steps, I took it.
My hand snaked up Elle first and finding a grip in her hair, I brought her beautiful little face up against my neck. She didn’t need any additional incentive to start kissing. Neither did I as I used my other hand to reach for Horse.
His lips came to mine, pressing plump, warm and wet against me. I let my hand slide up into his short hair to hold him much the same as Elle. They both kissed on me, Elle on any bare skin she could find, Horse as a slow exploration of my mouth. They were both gentle in a way they shouldn’t have been. Not after what I’d done to them.
I kissed Horse all the harder, trying to put all my love and all my gratitude into the way my tongue tumbled with his. He had to know that I was grateful he’d seen me, a good and decent version of me, worth being loyal to, for years now. He rearranged his grip, pulling me in as close as Elle’s little body would allow. His erection pressed hard against my hip and my fingertips went to wander down the familiar contours of his mountainous body.
I was about to push him to his knees and let him return the favor when he pulled back. “I love you, Cole.”
My throat went dry and I arched back to look at both of them. Elle seamlessly added, “I do too, with all my heart.”
I couldn’t help that my knees went weak. Sin and monstrosity had been my life for so long, and recently it had gotten so dark, but still, I’d found salvation in these two. I couldn’t stand under the weight of it.
Elle gasped when I fell to my knees. She followed me down, her little hands fluttering around me. Horse reached for me too, his brow crinkled. I batted him away.
“I don’t deserve either of you. I never have.”
“Something we have in common then.” Elle turned my face toward hers, bright doe eyes searching mine. “We share the sentiment.”
She leaned in and kissed me. Her lips were always softer, warmer and sweeter than Horse’s—sweet cherry to his musk and smoke—but they were the perfect match.
“But you have to stop living in the dark, Cole,” she whispered against my lips. “It’s not perfect out here but the colors you see when you live in the light, when you let yourself see them, are pretty spectacular.”
Her lips came back to mine and her kiss was soft, barely moving, but it breathed her own specific brand of love into me all the same. Horse’s hand skated on my shoulder, simple and tender just like Elle.
“Mickey’s darkness just swallows you,” I said softly the second her lips left mine.
She nodded and gnawed on her lip for a moment. “I know. Oh God do I know.” Sadness dripped from the words but then her meek smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “But it doesn’t make us evil.” Her tiny hands cradled my chin and Horse gently pushed his hands through my hair. “You see murder, I see survival. You see desecration, I see devouring. You see the stars, I see the sunrise.”
Everything in my very soul propelled me at her. I kissed her like it was the last thing I’d ever do. Like my survival and my sunrise depended on her. I wrapped my arm up around Horse’s thighs, holding him close to us where he stood. They’d given me everything with simple understanding and far more complex forgiveness.
For the first time in years, I felt like giving in and giving myself the same two things.
And when Elle pulled back, somehow she knew. Her priceless smile spread wide across her face and the beautiful strands of blonde that framed her face seemed to dance in an unseen breeze. The bright blue of her eyes twinkled and when I looked up at Horse, his did too.
Without any other words, Elle reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled. Her little fingers traced the panther across my stomach as Horse purred above us. His rumble pulled her hands from my torso to his fly. She worked on it for a moment, having to fumble where denim and dick strained, but then Horse in all his glory fell out and toward her waiting lips.
She took him tentatively, showering the thick tip of him with shallow sucks and flicks. The moment she pushed further onto him, her eyes fluttered shut and I swore the corners of her mouth turned up despite being stretched to their full extent.
“Oh, Fucktart.” His voice was rough and husky as his hand fisted into her hair. His other one was still leisurely playing with the edge of mine.
I sat and watched Elle, seeing not just a fantastic blow job, or a little throat being fucked, but rather a woman showering adoration on someone she loved and a man willing to accept the affection without any guilt. The need to be a part of that pushed pure sex and want of control aside. I wanted Horse’s hand fisted in my hair, Elle’s lips against mine, and forgiveness flowing as freely as love between us.
Before I overthought it, the sexuality or the meaning of it, I pushed toward Elle’s lips where they were wrapped around Horse. She pulled off him to kiss me, and I let her for just a moment, but then I dodged her waiting mouth and wrapped my lips around Horse’s cock.
“What?” His voice cut off in his throat and his grip on my hair went tight.
“I love you too, Horse,” I managed when I slid off him for a second, only to shove right back on.
Elle shifted beside me, my blazer gone and her naked body on display. Her eyes were fixed on where my lips slid against Horse, lust coloring her skin with a perfect flush. My hands went to Horse’s thighs and squeezed. His whole body bunched and he let loose a gorgeously primal groan in response.
One of Elle’s hands went to Horse’s balls and started massaging. She sat up onto her knees and reached behind my head with the other. Her lips found a spot near the base of Horse’s cock to kiss and lick, while her hand started dictating the way I moved along him. Over and over she pushed me deeper, her lips finding the edges of mine occasionally to kiss against my stretched skin.
If she hadn’t been there, I would have faltered. My mind revolted against swallowing dick twice, against losing control of the movements at least two others. But my heart—fuck, even my body—didn’t want to stop. Elle was my inspiration, her surrender, her loving adoration, her belief in utter good and pure love, that’s what I was showing Horse now. And thank fucking God she liked it.
He was soft in my mouth despite being rock hard. It was like stroking him the way I had a million times but letting him fill more of my senses too. His skin was softer, smoother against my tongue and cheeks. His smell deeper and laced with the heady scent of sweat and sex. Each of his moans, his shuddering, vibrated against my lips, and the size of him assaulted my throat. But the discomfort was delicious, a trade-off for the pleasure thrumming through my veins and barreling straight to my rock-hard dick.
“I’m gonna come, guys,” Horse’s breathy whine brought me back to the moment.
Elle’s hand dropped from my head as I pushed back from him. She seamlessly replaced my hand on his thigh with hers and she gracefully arched up to suck on the sack she’d been massaging a moment ago. Horse howled when he fell from my lips and I felt the heat of his cum splattering across my bottom lip, chin and chest a moment later.
“Shit, sorry.” His breathing was so ragged he could barely manage the two words.
“Don’t be,” Elle answered for me as she slunk from underneath Horse and over to me.
Despite cum everywhere, she kissed me roughly. Her little fingers were at my fly, freeing my cock faster than she’d been able to get at Horse. In another one of her lithe movements, she slid over the top of me and immediately slid herself down on my cock.
I swore as I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as they’d go. Even with my grip, she found a way to work herself up and down on my length, kissing cum off my skin as she went. Everything about her felt so amazingly good. The perfect pussy, the expert roll of her hips, the sweet little sucking of her kisses, but moreover her full acceptance of me, of what I’d done to Horse and who’d I’d been to both of them.
Horse stood watching us just behind her shoulder, his mouth hanging open in disbelief and his hand slightly stroking his shaft. I smiled at him as Elle lapped at a little bit of him left drizzling down the arc of my neck.
“Leave anything else, Ladylove,” I whispered against her warm precious skin. “I want you to leave him on me.”
She lifted her head and smiled her bright beautiful smile, first at me, then letting her head roll back so she could smile up at Horse. His whole face went slack, softer than I’d ever seen in years, and his hand left his dick, clutching instead at the skin rippling over his heart.
Elle reached for him, brushing a hand down his thigh, and it was her gentle touch that brought him to his knees. For a second I was worried about him but the flick of Elle’s still moving hips made it hard for me to think about anything besides how fucking good I felt. After one devilishly good roll of her body, I cried out.
Her attention came back to me and she smirked. She used her slight frame to push against me. A silent command to lay back. Before I would have bent her to my will just to remind her who was in charge, but instead I slowly and carefully lay out. She’d been in control since the first moment I met her, since that day in the airport terminal. I was simply torn between putting up a fight or submitting to the other half of my heart. And I was done f
ighting for anything but love.
She nestled into me on the floor, still working furiously against my body. I wanted to invite Horse into the tumble of limbs and flesh but I couldn’t let go of her. Tighter was all I could talk my arms into. Her hands moved as if she had read my mind, pulling on her ass cheeks and opening her body up to Horse kneeling behind her.
He leaned down almost immediately, his warm breath puffed against my cock as he moved in and out of her. His tongue lapped against me as many times then moved away. She cried out a beautifully ravaged sound a moment later and her hands wove down and around my shoulders, clawing into the ink coating my dips and valleys.
Deep humming and languid lapping replaced her beautiful sounds, Horse enjoying his position at her backside. When she started jerking and twitching on top of me, I couldn’t help but chuckle. And when her rhythm faltered completely, I knew how thoroughly she’d surrendered to lust and started my own wicked thrusts up into her. Horse helped me, freeing my legs from my pants by ripping them off a little too wildly.
Then violent shudders hit Elle’s body without warning, sending her chattering against me. Neither Horse nor I stopped and, as if she knew we wouldn’t until she’d surrender every little drop of love, she squirted onto me.
“Fuck,” she moaned as she tried to hide herself further in the crook of my neck.
I twisted to kiss her, appreciating the bright rosy blush of her skin that appeared anywhere I touched. I bit into her neck and she screamed against my skin, her tumbling renewed. When her head rolled nonsensically, I bit roughly at her throat. She whimpered and all but collapsed on top of me.
Horse’s hands left her and moved down to my still flexing thighs and slid upwards. His fingers went toward my ass, his tips taking liberties they’d never dared before. If I’d been able to take my hands out of letting go of Elle, I would have shoved him away. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t ever again. And that, along with how wet I’d gotten from Elle’s spectacular show, cleared the way for his finger to slide up into me.