As she opened her work email, she noticed the same picture she’d had in a frame on her desk since college. The photo and the frame had been the first gift she’d received from Hailey. Ember had gotten the same gift for Christmas that first year they met. It was a picture taken at work one night. Charlie and Hailey each still wore their aprons while Ember had on her manager garb including her nametag. The restaurant had been closed early that night, and Francine, Ember’s mother, held the staff holiday party for everyone. There had been food and even karaoke. That was the night their friendship had been cemented. They’d been work friends up until then but hadn’t spent time together outside of the restaurant. That night was the night they all shared their coming out stories. Ember told them about how her parents reacted with some difficulty, since they were at the party that night, and how her relationship with her father was particularly strained due to her sexuality among other things. Hailey revealed her tale of her first girlfriend and how they’d come out together, and Charlie told her own story to fit in. The problem was, that story was a lie. Charlie hadn’t officially come out yet, but she didn’t want to tell her new friends that, because things were going so well and also because she wanted Hailey to think she had the courage to come out. Charlie’s lack of overall courage in her personal life continued to be a major theme.
The truth was that Charlie had known she was different than her friends since she was in middle school. Charlie had grown up in Elkhart. Elkhart was a small town in northern Indiana. Her family relocated to Chicago during her junior year of high school, which is, of course, the worst time to relocate for any teenager. She’d never said anything during her early years. They were not a well-to-do family by any means. Her mother worked two jobs, while her father commuted to a factory job in Gary, before he passed away in a work-related accident when she was fourteen. There was insurance money that helped her mom keep Charlie and her brother with food and clothing, but not much else. Charlie never really felt like she was poor though. Her mom always made an effort to make sure they went to secondhand stores to get day to day items, but they all had a few new items in their wardrobe that they could pull out for special occasions.
The thing Charlie’s mother always seemed to have at least a dollar in her pocket for was a scratch-off lottery ticket. While she’d won a few dollars over the years, she’d definitely spent more than she’d brought back in, until one day, when Charlie was seventeen. Her mom, Nancy, bought a scratch-off while getting gas and had won $150,000. When the taxes were taken out, it left them with around $80,000. Nancy used that money to move them out of Elkhart to just outside of Chicago, where she had a cousin they could stay with until they found a place of their own. It was a very fast move, the way Charlie remembered it. JJ, her brother, was eighteen and in a technical school as opposed to a regular high school. He chose to remain behind to finish up and then planned on joining them, but he never did. Charlie had no choice. It wasn’t that she loved Elkhart. It was just that she knew what to expect there. She knew the score. She knew by then that she was gay, that she was likely the only lesbian in her small class, and that if she told anyone, she’d never hear the end of it. She knew how to blend in. She knew how to lie about having crushes on boys and how to pretend she enjoyed kissing them at parties. She even had a boyfriend for about three months once, until the move happened and they broke up. It was probably for the best, she remembered telling him, and silently thanking her mother at that moment that she wouldn’t have to lose her virginity to Harry, when she really wanted her first time to be with a girl in her class named Stacey.
The money didn’t last, because her mom hadn’t ever had that much money before and had no clue how to spend it. She’d also failed to plan for the fact that Chicago was much more expensive than Elkhart. For her first day at her new school though, her mom made sure to buy her a closet full of new clothes so that she could fit in. When she arrived that first day, she went into her hide at all costs mode to protect herself from anyone finding out she liked girls.
It went like that for the rest of her junior year, and by summer, Nancy was worried that she wasn’t making any friends, so she signed Charlie up for a church youth retreat. Charlie prepared herself to be bored for three solid days as there would be no technology of any kind allowed. It was a weekend to celebrate God and her relationship with Him. She had no relationship with God despite her mother’s coaxing toward attending church on Sundays.
On that first day though, she’d been paired up with a girl named Julia. Julia was a little shorter than Charlie’s 5’6, and had a skin the color of rich caramel. She had dark hair and dark eyes and these round cheeks Charlie found adorable with plump lips she found to be very sexy. She and Julia had been tasked with an icebreaker, and by the end of their exchange, Charlie had a major crush. By the end of the weekend, Charlie had lost her virginity.
The morning after Charlie’s first time was also their last one at the retreat. Julia seemed to be ignoring her. She didn’t sit next to Charlie at breakfast and didn’t want to pair up for the last activity. By lunch, they were all packed into a bus that would lead them back to the church where their parents would pick them up. When they got off the bus, Charlie saw her mother waving wildly for her, but her eyes went to Julia who was hugging her parents. Julia turned back to see Charlie staring and gave her an expression that said so much without words. It told Charlie that she couldn’t. That was all Charlie needed to know.
Charlie never told her mom about that experience. What she relayed to Ember and Hailey that night was the story of Julia and how it ended with Charlie being heartbroken for a few days, before coming to realize that the experience they’d shared wasn’t about Julia. It was about finally confirming what she’d always known to be true. She was gay. She also added that she’d told her mom about Julia a few weeks after it happened, and that her mom had taken it well, when she talked to Ember and Hailey. That was her coming out story. Except that it wasn’t. About two years after meeting Hailey and Ember, Charlie finally confessed to Hailey that she’d never told her mother she was gay. Nancy had moved out of Chicago to a town in southern Illinois, so she’d been able to keep that part of her life away from her.
Once she confessed to Hailey though, Hailey gave her the courage to come out to her mother, and to her brother, who was still in Elkhart. She wasn’t forceful or even upset that Charlie had lied to her. She’d understood. Hailey had always been able to understand her. She even accompanied her to her mom’s house to tell her, and then to JJ’s place with his new wife to tell him. Charlie fell a little more in love with Hailey on that trip, because she’d cooked breakfast for everyone, sat next to her at the table, and carried the entire conversation before Charlie told them, so that Charlie could warm herself up to the idea of her brother and sister-in- law knowing her biggest secret.
◆◆◆
Charlie arrived at the site at precisely 1 o’clock to meet her contact from the Health Department who would walk her through the project. The Chicago Health Department had purchased an old building in the government quarter of the city that had been vacant for the past several years due to some structural concerns. After a bidding process, Charlie’s company had been hired to create the plans to bring it up to code, and also to modernize the building for use without disturbing the inherent historical value.
Charlie arrived first, it appeared, and decided to just get to work. Her contact would arrive when he arrived, and then they could discuss, but she didn’t want to waste any time getting started. She took pictures of various elements of the first floor of the building and made notes as she did. She made her way up to the second floor and continued. The building was four floors and was basically crushed between two buildings, as if they’d been built first and someone had inserted this much smaller building between them, when the opposite had actually been true.
“Hello? Sorry, I’m late. Are you Charlotte Adams?” A brunette woman was about Charlie’s height and age with her hair pulled back a
nd light brown eyes that bordered somehow on a dark green.
“Charlie is fine.” Charlie reached out her hand for the woman to take. “Are you with the Health Department? I was expecting a Lloyd Montrose.” Charlie read from the name on the clipboard she was holding out with her free hand while the other shook the woman’s hand.
“Sorry, Lloyd couldn’t make it,” the woman began. “I’m Emma. I’m the Head of Special Projects. Lloyd works for me, but his wife went into labor about an hour ago, so I’m here instead.”
“I guess, congratulations to Lloyd and his wife then,” Charlie returned. “I’ve been through most of the building and we’ve done the initial inspection already. I have the plans for you to review. If you approve them, we can get the contractor in here to get started on the necessary demolition work. Once that’s done, we’ll have a better idea of what’s behind some of these walls. We need to determine the condition of electrical and plumbing before any real work begins,” Charlie delivered her routine speech. “I’ll have a member of my team on site for the beginning of the work.”
“Okay,” Emma said.
She was more or less just staring at Charlie expectantly while she rubbed her gloved hands together for warmth.
“We’ll notify you if we need to go beyond the initial budget that was discussed, based on what we find.”
“You used to work in the city planning office, right?” Emma asked her.
“Yeah, why?”
“People in government agencies talk. I have a friend that knew you. Scott?”
“Scott Sans?”
“He mentioned you worked for this firm, but that you used to work with him. He said you’d likely be great at sticking to a government budget since you were used to adhering to one before.”
“That’s true. I can’t guarantee the building will cooperate with the budget though. I will make sure we don’t do anything without approval.”
“Thanks.”
Charlie’s phone rang in her pocket.
“Sorry, just…” She faded as she checked the screen. “Never mind. It’s just a friend.” She looked back at Emma.
“You can take it.”
“It’s my friend, Hailey. I’ll call her later.” She tucked the phone back into her pocket.
“Wait a minute.” Emma took a step back unconsciously and her hand went to her chin as if she was thinking. “Your name is Charlie and you have a friend named Hailey?”
“Um… yeah, why?” Charlie stared at her confused.
“Hailey Grant?”
“How do you know Hailey?”
“I knew it couldn’t have been a coincidence.” Emma let out a laugh. “I’m Emma Colton. I don’t know if-”
“Her ex-girlfriend?” Charlie interrupted with shock.
“Oh, yeah.” Emma seemed to take a moment. “I guess I am her ex. It’s just been so long that I don’t really think of it like that, but yeah. I’m her ex-girlfriend, Emma.”
“Small world,” Charlie expressed.
“Apparently,” Emma returned.
CHAPTER 4
Hailey knew Charlie was at work, but she’d finished her last appointment of the day early and thought that maybe they could get a late lunch. She sent her a quick text instead of leaving a voicemail and decided to go home and work from there the rest of the day. By the time she arrived, Charlie had texted her back. Hailey read the message while sorting through her mail. Her eyes went wide and she called Charlie immediately.
“You what?” Hailey questioned.
“I met Emma today. She’s in charge of the new building I’m working on.”
“You met my ex-girlfriend Emma?” Hailey repeated. “Emma Colton?”
“Yes, brown hair and matching eyes? I met her.”
“Wow!” Hailey sat down on her small sofa.
“Yeah, wow. How is it you’ve never introduced Ember or me to her before? You two are friends, right?”
“I haven’t talked to her in a while. Maybe a year. She was dating someone.”
“She said she’d call you.”
“Oh,” Hailey replied as she thought about the last time she’d seen Emma.
They’d had dinner and shared stories of their most recent failed relationships. Hailey had wondered if maybe they would rekindle their romance, but Emma spoke about how she was ready to be single and have some time to herself. Hailey hadn’t brought up her thoughts about how beautiful Emma looked or how she still got those butterflies every time she saw her.
“Okay. Well, you’re being weird,” Charlie pointed out. “I’m on my way home now. Do you want to grab dinner tonight?”
“Sure. I’ll call Ember and see if she and Eva are free,” Hailey stated.
“Eva has a class on Monday nights, remember?” Charlie supplied.
“Right. I’ll call Ember anyway and see if she wants to come.”
“Okay,” Charlie agreed, but Hailey heard a sigh. “I’ll go wherever. Text me where you pick.”
“You okay?” Hailey checked. “Now, you sound weird.”
“I’m fine. I’m going to go check on Eddie and finish up some things. Six tonight?”
“Yeah,” Hailey replied and heard Charlie hang up.
She shook her head trying to figure out what caused Charlie’s mood. She hated when Charlie was in a bad mood. When Charlie was in a good mood, everything was right in the world. When she was in a bad mood, she’d usually go reclusive. She’d spend more time alone than usual and would only see Hailey or Ember for their weekly coffee dates until the mood passed. Hailey did not like when Charlie was in a bad mood. Her phone rang again and she smiled when she saw who was calling.
“Hey, bride to be,” Hailey greeted Ember. “I was just about to call you.”
“Yeah?”
“Charlie and I are grabbing dinner tonight. Wanna come? You’re without your other half tonight, right?”
Ember laughed.
“Yes, Eva is working. I was calling for the same reason. It’s weird, but you get used to having dinner with the same person each night. When she’s not around, you just kind of stare into the fridge wondering what you can make just for yourself.”
“I wouldn’t know about that,” Hailey returned. “But we’re going around six. Want to try that new Indian place?”
“Not really. Eva and I went there on Friday. How about our Japanese place?”
“Oh yeah, that sounds good.” Hailey loved that place.
“Meet you two there.” Ember hung up.
Hailey took her time finishing up her tasks and started getting ready for dinner. She pulled out an old pair of jeans and a cream-colored sweater, but before she could change out of her work clothes, her phone rang again.
“Hey,” she greeted.
“Long time, no talk,” Emma replied.
“I know. I heard you ran into someone I know today.” Hailey sat down on the bed and listened to the sound of Emma’s voice that still managed to take her back to high school.
“The mysterious Charlie you’ve mentioned in the past, yes.”
“How is she mysterious?” Hailey laughed.
“Because you never introduced us. And if I remember correctly, you two are close.”
“She’s my best friend, yes. And I didn’t not introduce you. It just never happened.”
“Whatever you say, Hails.” Emma laughed a little. “Hey, when are you free? We should get together. It’s been too long.”
“Yeah, it has,” Hailey agreed and had an idea. “I’m going to dinner with Charlie and Ember tonight. You should come. That way you could meet Ember too. Are you free?”
“I was planning on making a frozen pizza and eating it alone while scrolling through Pinterest, but I think I can cancel my plans for you.”
Hailey smiled.
“I can pick you up. You’re on my way there.”
Emma agreed, and they said goodbye. Hailey hastily shoved the old jeans and a sweater she’d chosen back into the drawers and walked to her closet where she found
the dress she was looking for. It was a short red and somewhat tight number with spaghetti straps. It was totally inappropriate for the weather, but her long black dress coat would keep her warm. She took a look at her messy hair and didn’t think she had time for a shower and a complete redo, so she just put it back up and braided it simply in its ponytail. She pulled up to Emma’s building to see her standing outside, waiting, and before Hailey could get out to greet her, Emma was climbing inside the car.
“Hey.” She reached her arms across the center console and hugged Hailey.
Hailey hugged her back and smelled something like vanilla mixed with cinnamon. She breathed her in before they had a chance to pull apart.
“It’s really good to see you,” Hailey told her.
“You too. I don’t know why we keep losing touch like this. We live in the same damn city. We should be talking more.”
Hailey knew the answer to that. She was pretty sure Emma did too. There was just something about seeing the person you fell for first fall for someone else. That was especially true when that relationship didn’t end in anger or because someone fell out of love with the other. It ended because of distance and circumstance.
“We’ll work on it,” Hailey promised. “You still like Japanese, right?”
“Of course,” Emma replied and faced the front. “Where are we going?”
“You know the answer to that question,” Hailey told her and looked over to see Emma smile.
A few days after Emma’s father’s funeral, she and Hailey went to Japanese for dinner and they both really liked the place. Hailey had later recommended it to Ember and Charlie. It had become one of their regular spots over the years.
Just Tell Her Page 4