Eight Steps to Alpha: A Nerdy by Nature Novel

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Eight Steps to Alpha: A Nerdy by Nature Novel Page 12

by Taylor Sullivan


  He smiled, then took a hesitant step, but stopped. “And if she doesn’t?”

  “With more confidence.” She urged him. Then she licked her lips, and he couldn’t force himself to look away.

  His jaw flexed, and he took another step, but this time, it was large enough to close any remaining distance between them.

  She glanced up to his Adams apple. “Like that.” She swallowed. “You should do it just like that, every time.”

  “Yeah?” His breath was coming faster now, but he didn’t move away.

  “Yeah,” she whispered.

  She looked into his eyes, hers the color of alfalfa baked in the sun, as she wobbled slightly on her legs. She grabbed his arm, pulling herself closer to him until she burred her face into his chest.

  He wrapped his arms around her, resisting the urge to bury his nose in her hair. “You okay, Fe?” he whispered.

  She nodded, her voice low and breathy, as she looked up at him. “This is where you kiss her, Elliot,” she pleaded. “Hurry up, before the moment ends.” Her gaze moved from his eyes down to his lips, like she was daring him to take her, telling him that he’d already done the asking, and now was time to take what he wanted.

  He moved his hand up her arm, to her cheek, then back, until he gently fisted the hair at her nape, tugging it gently until a small moan escaped her mouth. He angled his face just above hers, and waited. For a second, two. Any indication she didn’t want this, anything at all—but there was nothing. He was asking. Begging for her to turn him away, but she didn’t. He covered her mouth with his, firmly, because he was having a hard time holding himself back, but eventually their kiss softened, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

  He’d intended for the kiss to be brief, to get what he’d been craving for months and be done with it, but her mouth opened slightly, practically inviting him in, and just like he remembered, she tasted sweeter than sugar.

  His arms wrapped around her back, adding pressure until she came even closer. He then lifted her up, walked with her back to the counter, and set her bottom on the surface. She moaned as he stepped between her thighs, and his mouth slanted over hers. Their kiss softened, became almost searching. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, all he knew was that Fe had it. She had what he wanted, what he needed, and what made him feel whole. His heart started beating faster, harder. He knew he should move away, that he should end this madness, but he couldn’t. His hands trailed down her back, her perfect ass, and she arched her body forward, pressing her body even closer to his.

  She fit perfectly against him, her breasts, her stomach, her legs, that were now wrapped around his waist. Her arms then cupped his shoulders, shifting herself even closer, reaffirming that there was in fact a God, because nothing on earth would feel this good otherwise. Her hands then trailed down his back, and she slipped her fingers under the cotton of his shirt. It was a simple touch, skin against skin, but it was enough for him to force his lips away, knowing things had already gone too far.

  She immediately dropped her head to his shoulder and whispered. “Wow.” She smoothed her hands back over her hair. “Wow.”

  He took a deep breath, stepped backward, and tried to recover his heart. But damn it all he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to touch her again.

  What the fuck was wrong with him? Why when he kissed her did she have to respond like that? Why did his mind go blank and make him forget everything?

  Like the fact she was his roommate.

  Like the fact she was his best friend.

  She pulled in a shaky breath, then smoothed her long hair behind her ear, and leaned back against the cupboards. “Like that,” she whispered. “Exactly like that.”

  He met her eyes, searching for answers, but she gave him none.

  She hopped down from the counter a moment later, filled her glass with water and took a long drink. But then she paused, and turned around to face him again. “Elliot?” she asked. Her voice hesitant, small.

  He moved to the other side of the kitchen, far enough away so he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her again. “Yeah?” he asked, his heart hammering.

  “Before you think things will get weird again”—she squared her shoulders—“please understand that this is all part of the plan. You don’t like me, I don’t like you. This is all about Mary.”

  His brows furrowed, and his jaw clenched, but he somehow forced himself to nod. “Of course.” But inside his gut was twisting. Did she really not feel anything? Was the spark between them really that one sided?

  She looked down to her feet, nodded, then wiped her hands on the front of her jeans. “Good,” she then turned around, walked into the living room, where she began throwing the pillows back on the sofa, and gathering up all their empties. “I almost forgot it was Monday,” she said to him, her voice sounding strained and distant.

  He walked toward her. “Yeah, me too.”

  She handed him the shaker bottle and whiskey, but wouldn’t look up.

  “Are you okay?” His heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest, and he didn’t even know why.

  She toyed with the two shot glasses in her fingers and nodded again.

  “Fe?”

  Her eyes met his, glassy—distant. He took the glasses from her fingers. “Are you okay?” he repeated.

  “Just tired,” she whispered.

  He wanted to press her for more. To ask her why she looked so sad. To demand she talk to him. But he was afraid. Afraid of what she’d say—afraid of— “Go to bed, Fe.” He turned toward the kitchen, taking in a much needed breath. “I got this.” He hated the gruffness of his own voice, the coolness of it, but he couldn’t help it.

  “Okay,” she said quietly.

  He placed the glasses in the sink, then closed his eyes as he turned on the faucet, “Thank you.”

  “For what?” Her voice was barely audible behind him.

  He swallowed a lump that had lodged in his throat, and turned to face her. “For tonight,” he said, with complete and total honestly.

  She nodded, stuffed her hands into the back pocket of her jeans and turned toward her bedroom. “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter 14

  “What do you mean you kissed again?”

  Fe stepped into the kitchen, covered her lips with one finger, then pointed to the living room. “Quiet please…”

  April leaned back, bracing her elbows on the counter and waited for an answer.

  The question was expected. The moment Ed asked about the plan, Fe knew things were going downhill. What she hadn’t expected was for Elliot to tell them everything. About the bull, and the drinking, and the ask without asking.

  Stupid Ed and his nosey questions. Stupid her for being such a bad liar.

  “Do you really need an explanation,” she said to April, gathering the platter of veggies she’d prepared that morning from the fridge. “Yes, we kissed, it’s not that of a big deal. And besides, like I said, it was all part of the plan.”

  April smirked, maybe because she didn’t believe Fe—and quite honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she believed herself. “Not a big deal? Are you serious? You and Elliot kissed…. For the second time. How did it even happen?”

  “Well,” she began. “I was helping him with the next step, then one thing led to another, and it just… happened. That’s all.”

  April planted her hands on her hip and scowled. “Really? What step was that?”

  Fe opened the pantry and pulled out a box of popcorn. “Six.” She closed the cabinet and looked up at April. “Please stop making such a big deal about this.”

  “Why are you not making a big deal about this, that’s the better question.”

  Fe rolled her eyes, then ripped open the popcorn bag with her teeth and put it in the microwave.

  “Was it good?” April asked then.

  Fe stopped, turned to the counter, and threw the plastic bag into the trash. “Can we stop talking about this?”


  “Why? Because it was, wasn’t it?”

  “No.” She lifted her chin. “Because this is a silly conversation, and frankly, it’s none of your business. Besides, Elliot and I already talked about it.”

  April crossed her arms at her chest. “You did?”

  Fe took in her skepticism, and turned to the microwave, listening to the popping noises before she nodded. “Yes. And we agreed it meant nothing.” She turned around, finding April’s brows lifted.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Fe scowled.

  “It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

  “Why do you say that?” She fetched the popcorn from the microwave, waited for it to cool, then poured it into a bowl.

  “You guys have been ignoring each other all night, that’s why. It’s weird.”

  Fe rolled her eyes, and sprinkled some salt onto the hot popcorn. “We’re not avoiding each other.”

  “I’ve known you for five years, and not once have you sat on opposite sides of the table. It’s like you’re afraid to touch each other.”

  Fe bit her lip, then gazed out to the living room where Elliot and Ed could be seen deep in conversation at the coffee table. She turned back to April, popped a handful of corn into her mouth, and began to chew. Maybe she was right. Maybe they were acting weird. “You’re looking for things that aren’t there, April,” she said, handing her the tray of veggies. “Elliot and I are friends. Will never be anything more than friends, and this is just a friendly experiment. End of story.” She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, then walked back into the living room.

  Both Ed and Elliot sat forward in their seats, like they’d been discussing something similar to what her and April had been in the kitchen. She placed the bowl of popcorn on the table, sat down deliberately next to Elliot, then grabbed the set of dice. “Who wants to play another round?” she said looking directly at Ed.

  Ed submerged his hand in the popcorn bowl, then stuffed a handful into his mouth. “I’m in.”

  Fe turned to Elliot, meeting his eyes for the first time all evening. “You?” she asked, her heart thudding in her ear. Maybe April was right. Maybe she had been avoiding him.

  Elliot leaned forward, and took a stick of celery from the tray. “Sure, why not.”

  She nodded. “Good.”

  Good

  Chapter 15

  Opening the door to their apartment later that week, Fe immediately jumped. There, on the couch at four in the afternoon, propped up on a pillow with his hands behind his head, was Colton—watching TV.

  He rose to a sitting position as she came through the door, and clicked off the TV, “Hey there,” he whispered, grinning in that easy way of his.

  “Hey,” she said. Kicking off her shoes to the corner of the room.

  “Did I scare you?” he asked, obviously not picking on the fact she wasn’t in the mood to talk.

  She shook her head, picked the mail up off the floor, but ended up grinning. She couldn’t help it. His smile was infections, just like Elliot’s.

  She turned toward the wall, hung up her bag, then proceeded to the kitchen. “When did you get back?”

  He rose to his feet and shoved his hands deep into his front pockets. “This afternoon. “I used the key under the mat. I hope you don’t mind?”

  She shrugged. “No, I guess that’s fine.”

  His grin widened. “Not the smartest place to hide a key, if you ask me.”

  She continued sorting mail before placing it on the dining room table. “Hasn’t been a problem until now.”

  He laughed. “Are you telling me I’m a problem?”

  She lifted one shoulder, knowing she should ignore him, but she couldn’t. It was Thursday, her least favorite day of the week, and after a particularly shitty experiment, she couldn’t keep the sassiness inside of her. She turned around, intending to say that maybe he was. Maybe he was her problem, because the whole reason she’d invited him to stay was to ease the tension between her and Elliot, but if anything, things had gotten worse.

  But his eyes met hers then, and his smile was so sweet it was impossible to be angry anymore. Instead of the badass asshole she’d met a week ago, today, he appeared much like his younger brother. Wearing beat up old jeans, a baseball tee, and no shoes. “Where have you been?” she asked, pulling in a deep breath. She couldn’t very well blame him for everything bad in her life, even if it would make things easier.

  He bit his lower lip and walked toward her. “Why? did you miss me?” he asked, his eyebrows pushing up to his forehead suggestively.

  The corner of her mouth lifted, and she turned toward the kitchen. “You wish.”

  “Am I that obvious?”

  Ignoring his flirtation, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took a can of sparkling water from the fridge. “Avoiding the question? I thought you were supposed to be back yesterday?”

  He followed behind her and leaned against the counter. “I was working on a commercial. Called for overtime.” He glanced at her up and down, like something about her amused him.

  “Must be nice.” She took the left over veggies from the top shelf and carried them to the dining room. “Find a place to live yet?” It was an easy dig, but she had to take it.

  He laughed and followed behind her. She barely had the tray on the table before he took a carrot stick from the platter. “Not yet.” He took a bite. “How’s your transformation going?”

  Her brows furrowed. “Transformation?”

  “You know… you—becoming alpha.”

  Her cheeks warmed, and she glanced down to the table. “Oh… It’s good.”

  “Fe?”

  “Yeah?” She looked up.

  “You think I believe that story? I know it’s about Elliot.”

  She rubbed her hands back and forth on her thighs and took a deep breath. “Leave him alone, Colton. It was my stupid idea, not his.”

  He plopped down to a seat and made a zipping motion across his lips. “Secret’s safe with me, sweetheart.” But then he leaned forward and snatched a piece of celery before adding. “What step are you on anyway?”

  She pressed her back against her chair, determined to keep her mouth shut, but for some reason, she didn’t want to. Maybe it was the genuine curiosity she sensed in his voice, or the fact she craved someone to confide in that wasn’t April. Someone who wouldn’t over react about the tiniest of things. “Seven.” She itched the top of her head. “But the farther we get, the stupider it all seems.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because.” She took another bite of carrot and swallowed. “Because it’s all for this girl he works with. She never gives him the time of day. And the thing is, Elliot’s a good guy. He’s a great guy, and it irritates me so much that he would do all this for someone who doesn’t realize that.”

  “Because you do.”

  “Yes!”

  “Because you love him.”

  “No!” Her head shot up. “Whatever would give you that idea?”

  “Because he loves you?” His grin widened, and he leaned slowly back in his seat.

  “Elliot and I are friends. We’ve only ever been friends.” Even as she spoke the words, her mind kept flashing back to a few nights before, when Elliot had lifted her onto the counter, when he’d kissed her in a way she’d never been kissed before. That, didn’t feel like friendship.

  He made a face, like he was slowly beginning to process her answer. “I was just makin’ sure, is all. I mean, wouldn’t want to be stepping on anyone’s toes when I ask you out to dinner, now would I?”

  The front door opened then, and Elliot came into the apartment making her jump. His shirt was damp, and his bike was by his side as he closed the door behind him.

  “Well speak of the devil,” Colton drawled.

  Fe met Elliot’s eyes, suddenly nervous being in his presence. That same annoying flutter was beating against her insides again, the same one that had been trapped there for the past forty-eight hou
rs.

  “Fe and I were just talkin’ about you, baby brother,” Colton said loudly.

  Elliot glanced over at him with a bored expression as he pulled open the patio door. “Oh?”

  Colton laughed. “Yeah, you see, I was just asking Fe out to dinner. She thinks you’ll be fine with it, but I on the other hand am not so sure.”

  Elliot’s back stiffened as he pushed the bike out to the balcony, but he closed the door, then turned around to face them. “Why would you say that?” Elliot asked.

  Fe crossed her ankles under the table, and began stirring the ranch dip in purposeful circles with a carrot. The tension was so high with these two, she wouldn’t have been surprised if they started rolling on the floor again.

  A long time passed without an answer, neither brother saying anything more. Or at least it seemed a long time, but in actuality it was only a few seconds. “Fe’s a grown woman, Colton. If she wants to go to dinner with you, she will.”

  Colton grinned, and snatched another piece of celery from her platter. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He tore off another bite, smiling like he’d just found a hundred-dollar bill in the middle of the sidewalk. “So, what do you say, sweetheart.” He winked at her. “Want to ditch that tray of veggies and go get some real food?”

  She wasn’t sure why she’d said yes. Maybe because the air was so thick, she’d do anything to get out of that room? That she felt trapped? Because it irked her Elliot didn’t seem to remotely care?

  Either way, her emotions were all over the place. From hurt, to anger, to… was curiosity even an emotion? Because it sure felt that way right now. Colton was single, less complicated than his brother. And she’d be lying if she wasn’t attracted to him. Sure, he wasn’t her typical flavor, but maybe that was part of her problem? Maybe she needed to expand her pallet… because right now, peering down the stairwell, all she could see was blue. Blue eyes, dark hair, and a smile that made her heart go pitter patter. Gah!

  “Have you ever ridden on a bike before?” Colton asked, as took the stairs two at a time out to the front of the building.

 

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