“Why not? You yourself said I’m the only one who draws that out of him.”
“Yeah but—“
“I promise, I only want to help. Nothing more.”
There was something about the way he said it, the way his brows furrowed just slightly, and his mouth was set in a firm line. He was being serious. He wanted to help his brother, maybe for better reasons than her own.
She filled her lungs with air, and turned to face him. “What are you thinking?”
“Are you free Friday night?”
She narrowed her eyes. “That depends. For what?”
“Do you trust me?”
She laughed. “No.”
He grinned. “Will you trust me?”
She closed her eyes briefly, because she knew this was a bad idea, but something inside her didn’t care. “Yes. I’ll trust you.” She opened her eyes and stared at him. “But don’t make me regret it.”
Chapter 17
By the time they got back to the house, it was after eleven, and the apartment was pitch black. Part of her was surprised Elliot hadn’t waited up for her, but the other part was glad he wasn’t there. Waiting. Looking for an explanation. Judging her for going out with his brother in the first place.
She tiptoed to the bathroom to brush her teeth, leaving Colton alone in the living room. Her hair was a mess and could use a good brushing, but she was too exhausted and decided that task would wait until morning. Right now her pillow was calling her, whispering sweet lullabies and all she wanted to do was sleep.
When she opened the bathroom door, Colton was waiting in the hall. “Fe,” he stated as he swapped places with her.
She pulled her fingers through her hair, walked down the hall, opened her bedroom door, then stopped. There on her bed was a package. She stepped closer, seeing it was already open, and covered her mouth. Spilling out of the brown box, in the middle of her queen sized bed, was the purple headed warrior she’d ordered over two week ago.
“Oh my God!” she muffled her scream. She felt dizzy, flushed, and immediately lifted the cardboard box to get a better look at it. But there was no mistaking what her eyes didn’t want to see. The King of Love, purple headed warrior, ribbed rabbit for her pleasure—battery operated boyfriend was open on her bed—and it was huge.
How had she forgotten about this? How had she been so neglectful that she’d let something like this happen. To be fair, she’d ordered it quite some time ago, and with work, Elliot, April, and now Colton, it had completely slipped her mind. Yet here it sat, open on her bed, and there was no denying what had happened.
Elliot opened my vibrator.
She turned to face the door, her heart pounding an angry rhythm against her chest. Was there any chance he didn’t know what it was? Personal massager could mean anything, right?
No. No, no no—it couldn’t. Not to him. Not to a twenty-four year old man. She began pacing the floor, glancing occasionally to the purple machine. It was a rabbit for God’s sake. The King of Love, almost a foot long, “Ribbed for her pleasure” machine.
Elliot would have to live on a different planet not to know what it was.
Her pace quickened to something reminiscent to a flatfooted jog as she worked circles into the carpet. What would he say when she saw him next? How would he look at her every time she went to bed? Because every time she was alone in her room, he would wonder. Or every time she was in the shower… because after all, it was waterproof. Oh God! But none of this would be an issue had Elliot had minded his own damn business. How dare he open her mail. How dare he open her freaking vibrator. How dare he!
Before she knew what she was doing, she picked up the box, flung open her bedroom door, stormed down the hallway, and opened Elliot’s door. The shower was running in the bathroom, and she knew Colton was inside. Dammit! She didn’t need any more witnesses.
Closing the door behind her, she flicked on the light, tossed the vibrator on his bed, and gave his mattress a firm shake. “Elliot, wake up!”
Elliot hopped up in bed, his blankets barely hitting his hips, and lifted his brow. “What are you doing?” he croaked out. His voice was deep and sleepy, confused, but full of gravel.
An intimate reaction stirred in her belly, but she shoved it down. Blinking a few times, she cleared her throat, and tried to ignore his bare chest. Did he really need an explanation? Her evidence was sitting right there. Right there.
She glanced down to the vibrator, erect in its full glory… then to his bare chest, realizing for the first time he could be completely naked. She squeezed eyes shut, and took a calming breath. Why had she just barged in like that? Elliot was a man after all, and if growing up with bothers had taught her anything at all, it was to always wait at minimum a full ABC song before opening any closed door. Especially late at night. But that didn’t matter now. What was done was done. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and forced her eyes open. “You opened my—package,” she whispered as firmly as she could.
He scrubbed over his face, like he wasn’t quite sure what she was saying and reached for his glasses. When they were securely on his face, he locked eyes on the King of Love, and cleared his throat without cracking even the slightest smile. “I didn’t know it was yours.”
Her hands fisted at her sides, and she forced in a calming breath through her nose. “What do you mean you didn’t know it was mine?”
He rubbed over his stubble, this time, she was sure to hide his amusement. “It was addressed to me. I was expecting a new—book.”
Elliot and Fe shared a Prime account. She must have forgotten to change the name on the box… She sat down hard on bed and gripped the bridge of her nose. “Kill me now.”
He pushed himself up to sit, pulling the covers with him. “Fe, it’s not a big deal.”
She scoffed. A twelve-inch cock, ribbed for her pleasure, King of Love? Not a big deal? She wanted to die. She was pretty sure she was going to.
He remained quiet, and she pretty sure it was her turn to speak. It had taken her five years, but she’d finally done it. She’d rendered him speechless.
Though she didn’t even blame him. Because not only was he probably still shocked by her new purple lover, but then she was crazy enough to barge into his room, in the middle of the night, and throw it on his bed.
She looked up again, meeting his conflicted eyes. Eyes that showed amusement, concern, and utter confusion all at the same time.
“It’s only because I’m twenty-three and haven’t had sex in two years.” Why she felt the need to explain this to him was beyond her, but she had to. She needed to explain that she wasn’t a complete and total perv, just a deprived one, which made all the difference. “Plus, I didn’t know it would be that big.”
He coughed, almost choked, and sat up a little straighter. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Fe.”
She shook her head, but couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of her mouth. “I was just thinking about sex all the time. Like all the time. In my bed, at work, in the shower…but when you were standing there all sweaty, and I started—” Her eyes bulged, and she immediately slapped her hand over her mouth. “I mean, not you, you… a subjective you…” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. “I’m making this worse!”
His suppressed laughter shook the bed, but who could blame him. She was being ridiculous, had just so much as confessed to having fantasies about him, and a purple cock was on the mattress between them.
A moment later, after both of them had a few seconds to recover, he leaned forward and placed on hand on her knee. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Fe. You’re just human.”
She glanced up at him, hysteria barely contained in the back of her throat. There was no judgmental, no laughter, nothing but understanding in his kind blue eyes.
Air expelled from her throat, and she nodded. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath. Didn’t realize how much his understanding would mean to her, but just like that, he com
forted her, unlike any other human had ever been able to do before.
“Look,” He began again. “Every woman I’ve ever known has one of those things.” He glanced down to the vibrator and cleared his throat. “Honestly, I always assumed you already had one.”
She nodded, still slightly uncomfortable having his conversation with Elliot. “Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I mean,” He looked at the box, and made a face. “I was a little thrown off by its size, but you know, everyone has their preferences.”
She laughed, knowing he was teasing her, and grabbed for his pillow to throw in his face. “Shut up! I purchased it online! It seemed smaller in the pictures.”
He bit his lip. “Likely story.”
She grabbed the other pillow and began beating him over the head. “You’re. Such. A. Jerk,” she said between giggles and whacks with the pillow.
He held his arms up in defense, then waited for a moment of weakness before snatched the pillow from her grasp “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re having fantasies about me.”
It was said with a broad smile, one that was full of teasing and humor, but it didn’t strike her that way. She sat up, suddenly feeling raw, and open, and pushed herself from the bed. She grabbed her vibrator, but could barely think anymore. “I just—I— I don’t even —I don’t even want it.”
She tossed the vibrator back on his mattress, flung open the door, and marched down the hall to her room. The lights were on in the living room, and she noticed Colton in her peripheral vision, but she didn’t care anymore. She was pretty sure there was nothing in this world that would ever be more humiliating. Slamming the door behind her, she threw herself on the bed, and buried her face in her pillow.
She thought Elliot was trying to be comforting and awesome, but he was really just teasing her the whole time. Would tease her for the rest of their life, and she would never live it down. Never.
How could she have been so careless? How had she forgotten to switch the name or the order? Just when she had practically convinced herself the only way out of this was to move out of the apartment, the door to her bedroom opened, and she pushed up on her forearms. Ready to let him have it.
He wore only his gray sweat pants, pushed so low on his hips you could see his happy trail, but she somehow forced her eyes upward, and looked at his face.
His jaw was tight, set in a hard line, but it was his eyes that told her exactly how he was feeling. Sad. Hurt. Confused. “You forgot this,” he said, walking toward her and setting the package on her dresser.
“I told you, I don’t want it.”
He studied her a minute, his face just as confused as before. “But it has ten speeds.”
It was so obscure, so ridiculous of a statement, a tiny grin cracked at the corner of her mouth. Had he read the box?
But Elliot wasn’t laughing at all. He wasn’t even smiling. He actually appeared like something horrible had just happened to him. Without saying another word, he sat on the edge of her bed, his back facing her. “If you think you’re the only one who masturbates, you’re wrong.”
She resisted the urge to slap a hand over her mouth with embarrassment, because she was pretty sure Elliot was about to give her a sex talk. She wanted to stop him, to drop dead right in this moment, but at the same time, the curious side of her wanted to see how it all played out.
“My mom once walked in on me.” He cleared his throat. “It was the most horrible moment of my life.”
She bit her lip, trying to contain a grin. “I can imagine.”
“But the thing is, it’s natural. It’s healthy. And well, if you haven’t had sex in two years, I can imagine it being quite necessary.”
She nodded, feeling heat creep up her neck again. “You’re right.”
A frown tugged at his lips, and he turned around to face her again, pulling one knee up on the bed with him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Fe, I just…”
She shook her head, “I know, you were teasing. It was too new I guess? I really just want to forget about it—”
His brow furrowed. “I’ve had fantasies about you too.”
His statement stopped her mid-sentence and her eyes widened. “What?”
He nodded. “It’s only natural, Fe.”
She sat up a little higher, a mixture of pride, embarrassment, and curiosity, rolling in her stomach. “What about?”
Now he smiled, shy and mischievous, and pushed himself from the bed. “I think that’s enough sharing for one evening.”
She pushed herself to her elbow and straightened. “No, wait. Now I’m curious, what kind of fantasies have you had about me?
He laughed, walked toward the door, and flicked off the light. “Goodnight, Fe.”
“Elliot!” She laughed, but the door had already closed behind him. She fell back on the mattress, grabbed a pillow and covered her face. Had Elliot really just admitted to having sexual fantasies about her? For some reason, the notion made her grin from ear to ear. Maybe it was normal? Maybe she was being too hard on herself? But God help her, it was taking all her self control not to run to his bedroom and demand he explain himself. But some things were better left unsaid. And this was probably one of them.
Probably.
Chapter 18
“What do you mean we’re going to a club?” Elliot asked, following Fe to the bathroom where she grabbed a brush and started yanking it through her hair.
“I don’t see what’s so difficult to understand?” she began. “This is step number seven. If you’re going to fight, we need to find someone for you to do it with.”
Elliot stood behind her; his hair and clothes still damp from his ride back from work. “What kind of club is this?”
“A dance club—or a night club—I’m not sure. You just need to trust me.” She opened the medicine cabinet, grabbed the makeup that barely saw the light of day, and headed back to her room. “We’ll find out when we get there, okay?”
He followed behind her, his eyes narrowed. “You mean you don’t even know where we’re going?”
She shook her head, then turned to face him, and took a deep breath. “Colton is taking us.”
He scoffed. “Uh no. I’m not going to a night club with Colton. You go. I’m staying here.” He turned to leave, but she ducked under his arm blocking his way.
“I thought you wanted my help?”
“I do! I did! I want you, Fe.” He took a breath. “Not Colton.”
Her breath left for an instant, not because of what he said, but how he said it. With that slight pause, that said so much, but meant so little. She knew it was nothing, that it meant nothing, but that pause still made her heart skip. She did a good job of covering it, not looking down to her feet, or fidgeting with her hair like she wanted to. She looked him dead in the eye, her shoulders square, and immediately recovered.
Things had been better since the vibrator incident. Better than they’d been in weeks. She found herself laughing with him again, feeling comfortable in his presence, even though she still wondered about his fantasies. There was something about clearing the air, letting go of her fears, her insecurities, and all of her daunting thoughts that lifted a hundred-pound weight from her shoulders.
It was liberating. Because she no longer felt betrayed by her own thoughts. Elliot knew about them, and thought they were normal. He didn’t judge her one bit. Which should have been a given after knowing him for so long. But it was times like this, when they were alone, and he was looking at her like that, which made her heart scream with hopes and fears at the same time. That made her grab hold of her bearing and not lose all control and kiss him again. “Do you trust me, Elliot?” She flexed her jaw. Because she was asking him the same question his brother had asked of her the night before.
He blew out a breath and threw his head back to his shoulders. “You know I do.”
“Then meet me in the living room in an hour.
Chapter 19
With one foot in front
of the other, Elliot walked into the dining room, turned around, then walked in the opposite direction again. He’d been dressed for over an hour, waiting for her, but Fe hadn’t come out of her bedroom since she locked herself in there over ninety minutes ago. In that time, he’d been able to take a shower, trim his shadow, and try on not one, but two different outfits, one of which he still wasn’t sure was right. Black tailored slacks, a gray sweater, with sleeves he’d pushed up to his forearms.
He glanced over and Colton, who was sitting forward on the couch, watching TV. “I moved two thousand miles away, yet here you are.” It was said exactly how he’d meant. Annoyed.
If there was one thing he knew for certain, this club idea was Colton’s doing.
But Elliot knew his anger came from somewhere else. Had been festering ever since Colton asked Fe out to dinner. He could have said no, said that he was not OK with him taking Fe out to dinner, but what would he have looked like? An asshole, that’s what.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Colton drawled, stretching out his denim clad legs in front of him.
“Is your life not exciting enough back home that you have to come to California and mess with mine?” Elliot flexed his jaw and counted to ten. He couldn’t explain why he was so angry, but he was. Angry at his brother for showing up unannounced. Angry that he practically moved into his apartment, was taking over his home, his life, Fe…
Colton walked across the room to stand in front of him. “Home? It’s funny you call it that, given you’ve not been back in four years. Why is that?”
Elliot’s jaw clenched, and he looked at his brother. The truth was, this was his home now. He’d been back once for his granddaddy’s funeral, and that was it.
Fe opened her door then, causing them both to spin toward the hall.
Her hair was full and wild, her eyes bigger and brighter with all the makeup she put on around them, and damn it all, she was wearing a skirt.
Eight Steps to Alpha: A Nerdy by Nature Novel Page 14