“As you can imagine, growing up in a small town, I could never quite live it down. Colton was the golden boy, and I was his illegitimate younger brother.”
She placed her hand on his cheek, and his pain became hers. She could feel it, deep within her, and all she wanted to do was make it stop. But then his eyes shifted to her mouth, and all of a sudden, the mood shifted. From sad and reflective, to something more serious.
Their rhythm slowed, both of them motionless until the swing ceased, until they came to a perfect and complete stop. Her chest felt like something heavy sat upon it, and she was having a hard time breathing, but she couldn’t look away. All of a sudden, one of his hands wrapped around the back of her neck, his fingers urging her forward with the sweetest and most perfect pressure.
She froze, her breath caught with hope and wanting. Kiss me! Do it!
But he only stayed there, just like that, breathing so close to her face she could smell the wine and cake on his breath.
His fingers then caught her hair, fisted at her nape, and pulled her lips closer to his. She knew that at any moment she could tell him to stop, that she could say no, and he’d let her go, but her belly was pulsing with anticipation, squeezing so hard, she could hardly think anymore. Then finally, ever so slowly, his mouth closed the gap and settled upon hers.
She let out a breath, like she’d been holding the air for a good long minute, and he kissed her. But it wasn’t a kiss between friends, it wasn’t even a kiss between lovers. It was a kiss unlike anything she’d ever felt before. It was a breath seizing, earth shattering, never get enough of it kind of kiss. One she never wanted to end.
She opened her mouth to him, allowing his warm tongue to come inside and tangle with hers. To touch, taste, and fill her mouth completely. It was the sweetest of kisses. The sexiest of tastes. Like champagne, and strawberries, and pastries, and something she knew was simply him. He was everything that was good in this world. The sweet and savory, the passionate, and calm—all rolled into one.
“Elliot,” she whispered against his lips. “Elliot.” She wasn’t sure why she was saying his name, all she knew was that she needed to. Maybe because he surprised the hell out of her with his passion. Or maybe because she needed confirmation that this was really happening. That she was kissing her best friend, the guy who was polite and sexy. Who was insecure, yet confident. The man who had charmed the pants off of her entire family within minutes. The one and said he loved her.
Gripping the ropes on each side of her body, she pulled hard, inching herself forward until she felt his erection hard at the juncture of her thighs. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, her ankles locking at his back to pull him closer.
He let out a groan in his throat, and placed his feet on the ground, taking them both to a full stand. His hands wrapped around her thighs, holding her in place as the kiss deepened.
His mouth slanted over hers again and again, allowing their bodies to become even closer, if only by millimeters. But then he stopped, as quickly as it all started, and he set her to the ground. “Why does this keep happening?” He panted. “Why can’t I stay away from you?” He didn’t move away, just stayed in that very spot, holding her steady.
She swallowed hard, trying to recover, but it was impossible. She knew what he was asking. Knew why he was confused. But she didn’t have an answer for him. This was all wrong, but for some reason, her body craved him. From the tips of her fingers down to her toes, she wanted him. There was no answer she could come up with that was better than that. She took in a much-needed breath, then forced her eyes up to his face. To his jaw that was tense and ridged, to his lips that were still pink from their kiss. “I don’t—" She shook her head. “I don’t know. I think…I think that maybe it’s curiosity.”
He tilted his head to the side, and he let out a small laugh. “What?”
She nodded. “I mean, it’s natural, right? To be curious?”
He gave a small shrug, but didn’t agree one way or another.
She looked down to her feet, her heart ticking faster and louder. “Maybe… Maybe if we just get it out of our systems, we’ll be done with it. Our curiosity will be met, and we can finally stop this…thing.” The alcohol was getting to her, not so much that she didn’t know what she was saying, but so she finally, for the first time in a long time, was honest about her feelings. For the first time, maybe ever.
He caught her chin with his finger, and tilted her face up to his. “What are you saying?”
She swallowed hard, determined not to chicken out. “Sex.”
His face paled as he stepped backward. “What?” He coughed.
“Elliot,” She took a step toward him and scooped up the wine. “It’s the unknown that pulls us together. I mean, curiosity is a powerful thing.” She laughed. “It’s what fueled trips to the moon, the discovery of new species, new cures for diseases… It’s the mystery of life that keeps us going.” She took a swig from the bottle, then handed it over to him.
“I think that when we kissed that first time,” she continued, “it gave us enough of a taste to want more. To be curious. And I think that if we just sleep together tonight, our curiously will be appeased. It will be out of our systems. Things will be back to normal. This”—she waved her hand back and forth between the two of them—“will stop.”
He closed his eyes, just for a minute, gripping the back of his neck. “What happens after?”
“What do you mean?”
His eyes were a brilliant blue, now staring right at her. “When we go home? After tonight. What then?”
“We go back normal. To friends. To our lives.”
He looked away.
“Aren’t you curious, Elliot? Even just a little?”
He shook his head, his eyes shifting to the ground. “Oh, I’m curious.” His foot scrapped over the dirt before turning back to her. “I’m just not sure it’s the best idea.”
She shook her head. “Why?”
“Because this isn’t normal.”
“We aren’t normal, Elliot. You and me—we’re different.” She stepped toward him, taking the bottle of wine from his hand and setting it on the ground. “Just for tonight. Just once.”
He met her eyes, the corner of his mouth lifting in a lopsided grin. “You’re crazy.”
She grinned. “What do you say?”
He stepped a little closer, his eyes never leaving hers. “Okay.”
Chapter 31
Her plan legitimately seemed like a good one—appease her curiosity, get him out of her system, but after locking herself in the back-house restroom to freshen up, things suddenly became—real. Was this really want she wanted to do? Was she a freaking lunatic to think sleeping with her best friend was a good idea?
She sat on the toilet lid wearing nothing but her bra and panties, wondering how she would ever have the courage to walk out there like this. They’d lived together for four years, but never once had he seen her in so little. Sure, he’d seen her in a towel after a shower every now and then, but this was different.
She looked down to her small b-pluses, to her nipples that were slightly erect through the thin blue lace, and took a deep breath. In her alcohol induced state, she actually found herself attractive. Sure, her breasts were on the petite side, but so was she.
Standing to her full five-foot-two-inch’s, she caught her reflection in the mirror and smiled. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips still rosy from their kiss. Pushing a strand of dark hair out of her face, she sucked in her stomach, and glanced at the door.
She had no idea how she’d find him. Would he be naked? Would he be—ready? She knew he was ready out on the swing earlier, but that had been at least fifteen minutes ago. Would he have...calmed down by now?
Before procrastination could hold onto her hand another minute, she yanked open the door and stepped into the room. Adrenaline pumped through her veins so hard, she could hardly see straight, but she somehow found him on the edge of the bed, sitting
. His shirt sleeves were pushed up over his forearms, and his clothes were slightly disheveled, but he looked sexy as hell. Effortless. Her eyes landed on his collar of his shirt, where the V of his chest was visible.
He pushed himself to stand when he noticed her, and ran his hands over his thighs as though his palms were sweating. “Hey,” he said, looking into her eyes.
“Hey.”
What happened now? Did she go to him? Wait for him to come to her?
Choosing the former, she took a step closer as air expelled from her throat. At some point during her bathroom panic-attack, Elliot had turned on the radio, and Katy Perry’s ’Swish Swish’ was playing through the speakers. It wasn’t overtly loud, but there was enough of a beat that her hips began swaying to the rhythm. Back and forth, back and forth as she continued to walk toward him, tapping her fingers against her thighs before she realized what she was doing. “Why am I so nervous?” she said quietly, forcing her body into stillness. “I mean, it’s only you.”
“Only me?” He laughed, then shook his head and glanced down her body.
She bit her lip, resisting the urge to run back to the bathroom and grab a robe. Because his eyes sent all sorts of sensations pulsing over her entire body. “Are you nervous?” she asked quietly.
His eyes met hers again, and he nodded. “Yeah.”
She felt like laughing and crying all at once, because it felt so right doing this with Elliot, but also so wrong. Ignoring the devil on her shoulder, she turned to the small bedside table, wanting to take some of the seriousness out of the air and opened the drawer. “Choose your flavor,” she said glancing down at a rainbow display of condoms. Her aunt Maria’s infamous collection. Every color, brand, and size imaginable. She turned on her heels not wanting to miss his reaction, but instead of the shock and humor she was expecting, Elliot actually swallowed.
She cleared her throat nervously and muttered. “The first time I found them, I was nine,” she stammered out. “I thought they were party balloons and stuck them to the walls.”
A tiny grin flirted at the edge of his mouth, and he stepped toward her.
“They’ve been replaced several times since then—obviously.” She pulled one out of the drawer to check the date. “Still good.”
Elliot’s hands then settled on her hips from behind, and she immediately closed her eyes. This was really happening. Not tomorrow, or the next…. But right now, in this very moment.
“Rumor has it, my Aunt Maria is quite the pervert,” she continued.
He spun her around, and she locked eyes on his Adam’s apple.
“My cousin told me he found a box of dildo’s in her attic once. I don’t know if it’s true, but I wouldn’t put it past her.”
He tilted her head up to face him, looking deep into her eyes. “I don’t really want to talk about your Aunt Maria,” he said in a whisper. His voice full of gravel and texture.
She swallowed, not allowing herself to look away. “No?”
“No,” he whispered back.
Her insides were like butter, melted simply from the sound of his voice. Rich, and smooth, like warm honey dripping over her entire body. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked.
His face came closer, and everything in the room disappeared. The music, the sounds of the forest, everything but him. “I really don’t want to talk about anything.” he whispered back.
Her heart raced at jackhammer speed, but she only swallowed. “No talking?”
“No.”
His eyes were serious, his mouth set in a firm line, but his hands traveled down to the backs of her thighs until he lifted her.
Her legs spread instinctively and wrapped around his waist, and soon her back was pressed against the wall. “You’re more beautiful than I imagined,” he said.
Her throat tightened, but she somehow managed to squeak out a laugh. “You’ve imagined me?”
He nodded, a sexy smile transforming his features. “More than once.”
“I—“ She tangled her fingers in his hair, sure she wasn’t breathing properly. “I—“
But she wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say. All she knew was that she wanted him, needed him, and if he didn’t kiss her soon she might explode. She let her head lull backward, shamelessly pressing her pelvis against his stomach. She hadn’t said anything more than “I”, yet he understood everything she wanted. Everything she needed.
His fingers tightening on her thighs, his lips at the sensitive skin of her neck, and she knew without a doubt that this wasn’t a mistake. This felt too good, to perfect, too comfortable for it to be wrong.
He soon began peppering soft kisses along her throat, and every last bit of doubt was removed from her mind. She needed this. They needed this. “God, that feels good,” she whispered to no one in particular, but the words were barely audible, because his mouth was right there, breathing hot against her lips.
Without words, he was asking for her to open to him. Coaxing her mouth open with the tip of his tongue. With every fiber of her being she was at his mercy. Every part of her, every inch.
Her mouth opened, and his tongue, velvety soft, pushed inside of hers. He spun around, his lips moving down her neck as he lowered her to the bed. He knelt above her, his chest heaving, as his eyes warmed her insides like a bonfire.
Taking hold of each side of his shirt, she sat up, pulling hard until buttons flew in every direction. His eyebrows shot up, but a slow, easy grin played against his mouth.
She wasn’t sure if she’d shocked him in into silence, or if he was quiet on purpose, but he didn’t say anything at all. He was enjoying the moment, possibly as much as she was.
Not having planned this far ahead, her stomach began to flutter, and her eyes dipped to his bare chest. For the first time since she’d met him, there was no need to look away. Tonight, he was all hers, and she would get her fill of him. She would enjoy every touch, every kiss, and every moment. She’d always found him attractive, but she realized now that his body was everything she loved in a man. It was big, and strong, though not overly pretentious. His muscles were large, firm, and sculpted, yet still real and functional and human.
She ran her hand down his stomach, tracing the line that led to his happy trail. Her fingers settled on the button at his waist before she glanced up at his face
His expression was hesitant…almost—painful.
She continued with her task, almost giddy knowing she affected him so much. Slowly and deliberately, she unbuttoned his pants, slipping her hand into his boxers, and held him in her hand.
His eyes flew open, meeting her face as she stared at him in disbelief.
“Whoa,” she breathy whispered.
His mouth set in a straight line as he seemed to assess her reaction. “Is that a good whoa or a bad whoa?”
She blinked a couple times, because he was much larger than she’d ever been with before. Much larger. “Good—I—I think.”
“You think?” he said, gently pushing her back with a smile, until her shoulder hit the mattress again.
She grinned at him, tilting her head to the side. “I’ll tell you in a couple of minutes.”
He pulled at his shirtsleeves, discarding the crumpled fabric to the floor, then settled once again between her thighs. “Baby, if you think this is only going to take a couple of minutes, you’re doing it wrong.”
She held back as smile, not for the first time thinking he was the most adorable person she’d ever met. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said against her mouth.
Unable to resist him any longer, she fisted her hand in his hair and pulled his lips firmly to her mouth. He kissed her fiercely, with pressure, and tongue, and teeth, and she cried out at the pleasure of it. Her hands trailed down his back, taking in each muscle and curve of his body, until she found the top of his pants and pushed them down his thighs.
She couldn’t explain the need to be closer to him, skin to skin, body against body… and it couldn’t happen
fast enough. Soon, his pants were in a pile on the floor, and she began working on her bra. He stopped her. His hands flattening over hers in an attempt to slow her pace. “Shhhh…” he whispered against her neck. “Shhhhh… Why the rush?”
Tears of passion spilled from her eyes, and she lulled her head back, allowing him better access to her throat. “I need you. I wan—“ But his finger settled on her mouth, preventing her from saying another word.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.
But it wasn’t just words. It was a promise. He rolled to his back, taking her with him, until her legs were straddling his waist. “We have all night.”
His fingers inched over her hips, her back, until he unfastened her bra, slowly dragging the straps down her shoulders. “Besides,” he said with a wry smile. “It’s my job to take your clothes off, not yours.”
She bit her lip, eyeing him playfully, “Is that so?” But her words halted in her throat, because the way he watched her took her breath away. She’d never been looked at like this before. Like each movement, every inch of her body, was being burned into his mind forever. His actions were slow, deliberate, as though he’d planned out every detail. When her bra was gone entirely, he took his time scanning her body, and her skin pebbled everywhere his eyes touched. But she had no desire to shield herself from him any longer. She liked the way he looked at her. The way his pupils dilated and his jaw grew tight.
“You’re beautiful,” he said in a deep husky whisper.
She flattened her hands on his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath her palms, and began moving her hips against his stomach. Her panties were still on, but the friction felt so good, she couldn’t help but do it again. Slowly at first, one rock forward, one back, but soon his hands were at her hips, twisting the fabric of her panties as he pushed and pulled her.
Eight Steps to Alpha: A Nerdy by Nature Novel Page 21