by Robin Leaf
“Riley, wait,” Sandy called and caught up to him. “I don’t know this girl at all, but I’m going to offer you some advice. If it were me, your silence would tell me that you didn’t really mean what you say. I think you need to fight for her. In your absence, she is convincing herself that you don’t love her, so you need to convince her you do.”
“But she should know it.”
“Should know it and will allow herself to know it are two different things. Gosh, you really don’t get it, do you?” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Riley, she thinks you are too good to be real. You need to prove to her that she does deserve you. Trust me on this.” Sandy blinked back a tear. When Riley raised his eyebrows in question, she added, “Let’s just say I can identify with what damage a verbally abusive stepmother can do.”
Riley hugged Sandy. “Thank you, Sandy. I’ll go see her on the way home.”
“You better.” She quickly kissed him on the cheek and left him to go back to the group.
Now he just had to brave through the next week.
***
By the following Friday, Riley had been on the island two weeks. He finally had a day that promised to keep him busy. Fourteen glorious hours of non-stop acting. He just wished he had slept the night before. He spent a second evening with his new friends, and even though he had three beers, which should have relaxed him, he couldn’t disengage his mind all night. But today, he had to focus. They were to finish the big fight scene they rehearsed yesterday. He had to get his head in it so he didn’t hurt anyone or get hurt.
They shot through lunch without a hitch. Riley sat in front of Sandy for some effects makeup after a quick sandwich; he was ready to finish shooting. He had remained focused through the early part of the shoot. Sitting in that chair, he saw someone move with a familiarity that surprised him, only a fleeting glance of what looked like Vanessa, but he discounted it. Mind tricks. It couldn’t be her. He was seeing things. He tried to shake it and prepared for the rest of the day.
The afternoon went horribly. He kept missing his marks and flubbing his lines. They eventually got through the scenes, but it took two more hours than they had planned.
He dragged himself back to the hotel defeated and exhausted and took a shower. It was his worst day ever on a set. He told everyone it was because he thought he was coming down with something, so he decided to hide in his bungalow all day tomorrow. He was not due on set again until Sunday, the final day of shooting.
He decided to go out to the pool-side bar to order a couple of beers to take to his room. Beers in hand, he turned and walked from the bar past the pool and stopped. He almost dropped his beer, for standing there in front of him, seemingly flesh and blood, was the subject of all of his past two weeks’ fantasies. He stared at her for an immeasurable moment, taking in the sun kissed glow on her face, making her eyes bluer and her hair seem blonder. The simple red cotton sun dress she wore almost touched the ground, and although it accentuated her ample breasts nicely, it’s shapeless form did nothing to show off her curves. A thought of removing the sundress flashed in his mind, and he felt all his blood rush south at the thought. He had to get control; getting a hard on at first sight was probably unwise.
She was more beautiful than he had ever seen her, but he was unable to read the expression on her face. He hoped his expression didn’t give away his lustful wishes. He closed his eyes for a long moment trying to erase the inappropriate thought because if he opened his eyes and she wasn’t there, it would kill him.
But she was still there.
“So that was you I saw today,” he murmured hoarsely. “I thought I was starting to hallucinate.”
“Yes, it was me.” Vanessa admitted. “I wanted to see you work. I’m sorry if I distracted you.” He stared at her awkwardly for a few seconds. A look of concern colored her face. “You look tired. If you want, we can talk tomorrow.” She looked down, embarrassed. “Except I kinda don’t have anywhere to stay. Every hotel is booked.”
Riley smiled. “That’s becoming a habit with you, isn’t it?” When she didn’t smile back, he sobered. Why was she here? She didn’t run into his arms and wrap her legs around him like he thought she would. And he didn’t want to overwhelm her with his enthusiasm about seeing her. He decided to try to get a read from her to see how to play it. No signs of her intentions were apparent at all, so he decided to play it cool. Certainly she wouldn’t come all this way to tell him to leave her alone. If that was why she was there, he didn’t want it to happen in such a public area. He motioned for her to follow him. “C’mon. I have a bungalow suite. We can talk there privately.”
TWENTY EIGHT
Vanessa followed Riley down the path to his suite. “Really, if you’re tired, I can find somewhere…”
“Don’t be silly, Vanessa,” he said matter of factly. He tried getting a read on her emotional state, but his signals were jammed by his tiredness. He hoped playing it cool was the correct approach.
“I owe you an explanation,” Vanessa said. “And a number of apologies.”
“You don’t owe me…”
“Yes, I do.” They reached his door, and Riley keyed open his room. He opened the door for her and closed it behind her. Vanessa continued. “You deserve better.”
Riley decided not to ask what she meant. He feared she might say something stupid like he deserved better than her. In his mind, there was no one better than her, and he really was too tired to argue that point.
“First I’ll start with an apology. I am truly sorry for running away. Charles used some things, things he should not have known, against me…”
“I thought he was my friend, Vanessa. I never dreamed he would ever…”
“Riley, I’m not blaming you,” she defended, then she took a deep breath to calm herself. “I really don’t want to talk about him at all, but let’s just say he tore open some old wounds that I thought were healed. I needed to work through them.”
“And did you?”
She thought for a second. “Mostly.” She took another deep breath. “Back to the apologies, I’m also very sorry for asking you to leave when you came to find me. I was thrown. It doesn’t excuse my rudeness, but I never expected you to show up.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
She looked him in the eye. “I didn’t say it was something you wouldn’t do; I said I never expected it. I’m not used to anyone caring enough to come after me.” This time she took two deep breaths. “Riley, honestly, I didn’t know how to handle this. My heart and my head were kinda not speaking to each other. All they wanted to do was scream at me. And both made sense. I couldn’t seem to get a handle on which one to listen to.
“Then I talked to my dad. He told me stories about my mother that he had never told me before. I had never asked because whenever I brought her up, he always changed the subject or found a way to leave the room. Her memory seemed to deeply hurt him, so I just let her go. But what he told me now about their romance and marriage helped me sort a lot of feelings, and surprisingly, it helped me understand things about my childhood and why he married my stepmother. To be honest, I still had the warring head and heart issue. That is,” she reached in her bag and pulled up a picture on her phone, “until I saw this.”
She handed it to him, and what he saw made him drop on the couch. It was a picture of him and Sandy from last week when she kissed him on the cheek. From the angle it was taken, it looked, well, bad. His heart skipped a beat in fear that Vanessa was about to tell him that she would never be with a jerk who would claim to love her and seemingly hook up with the next woman he saw.
He stared at it disbelievingly. “Vanessa, this might sound cliché, but it isn’t at all what it looks like.”
She chuckled. “Heck, Riley, I know that. But I have to admit when I first saw it, I felt jealousy like I’ve never felt before. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to jump on a plane and come fight for you – literally. Then, I really analyzed the picture. First of all, she has a weddi
ng ring on. I’m pretty sure I know you well enough to know you would never get involved with a married woman. Not your style. Plus, she’s kissing your cheek; you didn’t kiss her.
“Secondly, look at your face.” She pointed to his face in the picture. “You look so sad.” She paused to let him see what she saw. “I realized that if I did that to you, that if I am the one who made you feel miserable enough to make that face,” her voice cracked, “then I’m not okay with that.”
He looked up from the picture to see her first tear fall. He stood and wanted so badly to wipe it from her face or take her in his arms, but he was still a little confused about her presence and wasn’t sure if touching her was allowed.
“So, why are you here then, Vanessa?” He realized after the words came out of his mouth that they sounded sharper than he intended. “I mean… jeez, I’m not sure what I mean.”
She wiped her face. “I’m here to tell you something. It took that picture to make me get it. When I saw how miserable you were, it made me understand how incredibly selfish I have been. You told me I was, but it took this to understand what you meant. I ran away with no explanation and pushed you away when you wanted to tell me you love me. You were right, I should have had faith in you. I didn’t. It is unforgivable. Then, when I remembered how I got so jealous, I realized that my head and heart were finally saying the same thing – rip that chick’s face off and shove it down her throat. I figured they must have worked out their differences because they seem to both be saying the same thing ever since.”
He reached out to hold her hand, and when she didn’t pull away from him, he gently pulled her closer to him. “And what are they telling you?”
She placed her free hand on his chest, leaned into him and looked up at him innocently. “That I am one-hundred percent, totally, head over heels, completely in love with you.”
He took his free hand and caressed her face, still a little in awe that she was actually standing in front of him. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. A surge of emotion energized him to kiss her lightly on the lips. “As luck would have it,” he said against her lips, “I love you, too. Call it impossible, call it crazy, call it too soon, call it whatever you want, but I felt it when I first laid eyes on you. I knew it for sure when you told me in my sleep that you were falling for me.” He kissed her again, this time not so lightly. “Sorry, I know that sounded a little unnecessary, but I practiced that speech on the plane on my way to see you in Texas. I didn’t get to use it then, and I didn’t want it to go to waste.”
“It was perfect.” They kissed again, but she pulled her head back and looked in his eyes. “For the record, I told Emily that I loved you when we were out to lunch, but then, well, you know. After I saw this picture. I wanted to call you when I figured it all out, and so I found the note where you wrote your number and finally looked at it. You actually took the time to list rock love songs for me to check out? Really impressive.”
“You were right, though. There aren’t a lot of romantic rock love songs. I mean, there are, but from the style of music you like. Took me most of the plane ride there to get the list I made. Did you get a chance to listen to any of them?”
“Yeah. I looked up every one of them. I knew some of them, but I listened to the lyrics. I even download a few from your list. I’d never heard some of the songs that I really liked.”
“Good.”
She averted her eyes and tucked her head under his chin. “Riley, I’ve been awful to you. I don’t understand how you can be accepting of my apology. If I were you, I’d make me grovel or something.”
He reached down to her thighs, grabbed her sundress and lifted it quickly over her head, smiling devilishly at her surprised expression. “Making you grovel is not really my style,” he unhooked her bra and removed it, “but I can think of proper ways to have you make it up to me.” He removed her panties, fell back on the couch and pulled her on top of him to straddle him. He lifted both breasts with his hands, working his tongue and mouth over each nipple individually until she moaned.
“Do you really want me after all this?” she asked, pulling his shirt over his head before ripping open the button and zipper of his jeans. She stood slightly, leaned over him as he lifted his hips, helping her to remove his pants.
He slid one hand down her stomach to between her legs and worked her with his fingers to prepare her for him. When he guided his hardness to the right spot and slid her down to completely accept him, he looked in her eyes. “What do you think?” They moved against each other in unison. “You are everything I’ve been looking for. I’m never letting you go again.”
She stopped and looked deep into his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts against his chest. “I’m never leaving again. I promise.”
He urged her to move again. “I love you.” He kissed her softly at first, but as his need for her grew, the kiss deepened, mouths open, tongues engaged. He prodded her to move faster, sliding his hands up her waist to her breasts to massage her nipples with his thumbs. She broke from the kiss, leaned back, grabbed his right hand and moved it between her legs. Not long after he began stroking and pinching just the right spot with his fingers, she groaned and writhed against his hand. He watched her face and the complete ecstasy she felt, and it caused him to come fiercely inside her.
She fell against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her protectively. He waited for both of them to catch their breath. “You are my everything,” he whispered into her hair. They stayed like that for a little while, neither moving nor speaking. Eventually he carried her to the bed where she settled on top of him and they fell asleep.
The next morning, they both took turns in the bathroom and returned to the bed, entwined in each other’s arms.
“You don’t know how good it feels to have you here in my arms,” he whispered in her ear. “I thought I had screwed up royally when I yelled at you and left like I did.” He kissed her forehead.
“Believe it or not,” she said, “it helped. The fact that you can get angry enough to break your moral code and cuss at me made me see that you aren’t too good to be true.”
“Okay, that I don’t understand.”
She pushed up and looked him in the eye. “Part of the problem I had was believing you were for real. You seemed too perfect, kinda like a mirage, a fantasy I’d built up in my head. Too good to be true. Since you got mad and cursed at me, I knew you were the perfect guy for me.”
“That seems backward somehow.”
“Yeah, well. It means you are a real person. You had every right to be mad at me.”
“So why did you let me leave?”
“I said it was part of the problem.” She propped her head on her hand. “Emily said she told you about some of what my mom said to me, that men would only love my body and lie to me. When that’s all I heard from her for about six or seven years, it hurt. Consciously, I knew her words weren’t true. But sometimes her voice comes back to me, especially when the only two boyfriends I ever had made her words ring true. I really did work it out in therapy, but enter Charles reminding me that you are an actor who lies for a living and that you were just using me, kinda hit home. All the issues I thought I’d worked out were wiped out in one afternoon. I knew what kind of guy he was, and I allowed him to get to me. He knew what buttons to push, buttons I thought weren’t there anymore. Not only did it shake up things about you and me, it altered my perception of who I thought I was. He had me fooled. I mean, I always got a bad vibe from him, but he actually had me believing that he cared about you. I’m not used to being wrong about people. Plus, I let him rattle me so easily. Some psychologist. I thought I was stronger than that.”
He rolled on his side so he could face her and placed his hand on her waist. “You are strong. Not too many people would suffer the verbal abuse you did and come out better for it. Isn’t abuse like that? A cycle?” When she nodded, he continued. “Instead of giving into it and letting her words def
ine you, you worked very hard to prove your mother wrong.” He ghosted his fingers up her side, across her breast, up her neck to trace her cheek. “All that you’ve been through? It makes you a better psychologist.” He lowered his face to hers, skimmed his nose along her cheek and whispered. “I think you are great at your job.”
“Yeah,” she snorted. “So great that you never agreed to let me treat you.”
Riley pulled his head back to look her in the eye. “You wanna know why I never committed to therapy? It’s because I was immediately drawn to you. I felt the chemistry between us, and I knew you would never let yourself fall for me if I was your client. And it wasn’t a purely physical attraction, either, I mean at first it was, but then it wasn’t. I felt connected to you, like we had known each other for a long time. While it’s true you have a great body, it’s not the only thing that drew me in. Face it, if that’s all that was important to me, I’d already be involved with someone beautiful but vapid and shallow. I do live in L.A., and there are plenty of those types around.”
“Okay, that’s comforting. And you were involved with Bailee.”
“I knew Bailee was temporary from the start.” He paused and brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “She never cared enough to really listen to me. She was only in the relationship for what I could do for her. And she never made me laugh, ever. I would never ask her to sit with me and watch Phineas and Ferb. She would never just sit and talk. I knew there was no way I would ever love her.” His eyes held hers, longing to read her mind. “I was waiting to fall in love,” he said huskily, “with you. I told you already… you are the last one, Vanessa. The only one… for me.”
She leaned into him and kissed him. His hand slid up to caress her face, tracing the contours of her jaw line with his finger and eventually, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck to pull her closer. He felt her surrender to his touch and give in to the kiss. He knew she was surrendering more than her body to him at that moment.