by Pippa Croft
I hesitate, watching him have his moment in the sun, and when I do eventually reach him, I have a lump in my throat. He greets me with a kiss, this time on my cheek, and a great big hug.
‘Hey, well done! Let me be the first one to say “I told you so”.’
‘Not the first. Those were my mother’s exact words when I called her after the race. Also my grandmother’s.’ He grins, clearly feeling on top of the world.
‘It may not be original but I still stick by it. You’re amazing.’ I smile at him, feeling truly happy for him and able, at least for now, to put my own problems to one side.
‘You know, at the risk of sounding too American, I think I am,’ he says, with a twinkle in his eye. ‘Where’s Alex?’ He looks around, searching for him.
Oh fuck. I shrug my shoulders and answer honestly. ‘I have no idea, Scott.’
‘Really?’
‘Uh-huh. He went on some mission and couldn’t tell me where.’ I giggle after making this statement. ‘The name’s Hunt, Alexander Hunt.’
Scott seems a little taken aback by my flippancy and I have to admit my wit isn’t too sparkling or sharp by this stage of the evening.
‘Wow. OK, well, I’m sure he’ll be back soon enough. I have the feeling the guy will never go away.’ He looks at me very directly and I’m struck once again by how easy everything feels in his company.
‘I guess not …’ He looks so happy, I decide now that I’m not going to burst his massive bubble. I raise my champagne glass to him and my voice. ‘Forget Alexander. This is your night. To Scott Schulze, who single-handedly won the Boat Race for Oxford!’
So what if a few heads turn in my direction and laugh or roll their eyes? So what if I just pissed off half the Boat Race crew? So what if Scott takes my elbow when I teeter against him and says, ‘Whoa, there, steady,’?
‘So what the fuck do I care what anyone thinks? I’m celebrating with a friend, a very good friend,’ I add defiantly.
‘Are you feeling OK, Lauren?’ he asks, laughing, but there is concern in his eyes too.
‘Absholutely fine. Superrr,’ I assure him, giving him my best dazzling smile.
‘Hey, Scott.’ A girl appears and threads her arm through Scott’s. She’s a couple of inches taller than I am and super fit by the look of her sculpted cheekbones.
He kisses her on the lips and says, ‘Lauren, this is Lia. She’s in the Women’s Lightweight crew. Lia, meet Lauren, who’s a very good friend of mine.’
‘Hello, Lauren. Scott’s told me all about you, really good to meet you.’ Lia’s accent is Northern Irish, I think, and I watch as Scott drapes an arm over her shoulder, giving her another, longer kiss.
‘Has he?’ My voice doesn’t feel like it belongs to me any more. That feeling of being operated by another being, rather than being me, has taken over. I’ve had way too much to drink – why else would I feel like crying?
While some guy claps Scott on the back and drunkenly starts to tell him he wants to have his babies, Lia talks to me.
‘Scott told me you used to date his cousin?’ She is so friendly, and so pretty, I just want to run away, yet I have no right to feel peeved.
‘Um, for a while, yes, that’s right.’
‘And now you’re going out with Alexander Hunt?’
I don’t know how to reply, so I say, ‘Uh-huh. Congratulations on winning your race too. I’m really pleased for you both,’ I manage, feeling strangely empty.
‘Thank you,’ she grins, radiating happiness. ‘We were massive underdogs but Scott gave me a pep talk a few weeks ago and I tried to focus on that. He’s so bloody talented it’s not fair.’ She sighs, looking over at him adoringly.
‘He is pretty amazing,’ I agree. ‘Have you known him long?’
‘I’ve known of him since the start of Michaelmas; who could fail to miss him?’ She laughs. ‘Obviously we’ve both been too busy to see much of each other, although I finally got to talk to him at a party for the Blues squads a few weeks ago. Tonight, at the ball, we finally sort of got together. We’re not going out or anything.’ She smiles and holds up her crossed fingers. ‘Yet.’
‘Good luck,’ I say, and I mean it, or at least I do my best to mean it.
‘To be honest, I’m absolutely knackered but Scott wanted to come to the party. I don’t think we’ll stay long. We should both be in bed.’ I have no idea how to reply to this and I genuinely don’t think Lia realized what she said because she suddenly puts her hand over her mouth and goes red to the roots of her auburn hair. ‘My God, I didn’t mean …’
I dredge up a smile.
‘Actually, I probably did mean …’ She laughs out loud and Scott turns away from the guy he’s been talking to and puts his arm around her. ‘What are you guys up to? Should my ears be burning?’
‘Yes.’ I force a laugh. ‘Hey, I see Immy over there. Catch you later.’
I have as much intention of catching Scott and Lia later as I do of making Valentina my BFF, but I do know that Immy is somewhere amid a knot of godlike Blues rowers out on the deck, mainlining pints and cigarettes like they’ve been in jail for a year.
The wind seems to slice through me and the blast of oxygen isn’t helping my inebriated state, but I don’t care. I have to get away from Scott and Lia.
‘Are you OK? You look a little queasy,’ says Immy.
‘I feel it,’ I admit shakily.
‘Too much Pimm’s?’ she quizzes.
‘No, just irrational jealousy.’ I try to make a joke of it.
‘What’s wrong, hun?’ Immy looks concerned now.
‘Scott’s here,’ I mutter.
‘Yes. And that’s a bad thing?’
‘He’s with a girl.’ I look down, biting my lip.
‘Oh dear. I see,’ says Immy, clearly not sure what to say now. ‘Horrible, is she?’
‘No, she’s very pretty, and fit and nice and she has a sense of humour.’
Immy rolls her eyes. ‘What a total bitch.’
‘I wish she was a bitch because that would make things easier. You know that feeling when someone you know likes you and is attracted to you, and then they go off with someone else – and you feel pissed about it even if you didn’t really want them in that way?’
‘Not that often, but I’ll try to imagine,’ Immy grins, squeezing my arm. ‘What’s her name?’
‘Lia.’
Immy nods. ‘Hmm, I think I know her. Long red hair, about six feet tall?’
‘That’s her.’
‘Oh fuck. I can’t even hate her either, because she is nice, and she’s just spent a year volunteering in a refugee camp in Africa before she completes her medical studies. That’s if she doesn’t decide to try for the Olympic rowing team in Rio.’
I have to smile at this. ‘Lia is so perfect for Scott; in fact they’re both perfect human beings. I’m really happy that Scott’s found someone he likes.’
‘Of course you are. Does he know that you’re having problems with Alexander?’
‘No way. I didn’t want to spoil the evening by telling him.’
‘Maybe the news would have made his evening.’
‘I doubt it, judging by how happy he and Lia seem. No matter how irrationally jealous I feel, I’m really glad I didn’t tell him that Alexander and I are history. It would have looked as if I was angling for a comfort shag.’
‘He would have been one hell of a comfort shag. He’s absolutely divine.’
‘Yes, he’s gorgeous, and he’s a hero.’
‘So’s Alexander.’
I snort. ‘I know that, but he’s also a screwed-up, frustrating, awkward, repressed bastard.’
‘Who you wish would walk through the door right this minute and drag you off to one of the bedrooms?’
‘No, because I don’t want to see him again.’ I realize as I say this that I really do mean that – I need some simplicity in my life after the last few weeks. It’s all really been too much.
Immy looks at me carefully
and then takes my arm. ‘In that case, come and introduce yourself to some rowers. I’ve been dying to know if it’s true they don’t wear anything under the Lycra.’
It is true, apparently, and within a short time Immy has also discovered that waxing goes on. Truly, I suppose, we’re living every girl’s dream, the centre of attention of half a dozen rowers. One minute we’re laughing as Immy confesses to having watched some of them training from her friend’s narrowboat opposite their Boat House, the next she’s being hauled off in the direction of the hallway – and the stairs to the bedrooms, I presume – by some guy whose dress shirt is already open to the waist, showing off abs to die for.
A few minutes later, I feel a hand as broad as a shovel curl around my bottom and a voice that could grace the RSC slurs, ‘D’you fancy a shag?’
The hotty next to me is like something from a Hollister ad; he also reeks like a brewery and a couple of minutes ago was making jokes about lighting his own farts. However, somebody told me earlier that he’s got a DPhil in Molecular Biology and has just discovered a test for some kind of cancer so I decide to cut him some slack. But I’m still not going to take up his offer.
‘It’s tempting, Olly, but I think I’ll pass on this occasion,’ I say lightly.
‘Shame, you’re the sexshiest girl in the room and the classhiest.’ He lets his hand drop from my butt. ‘But probably just as well because I’m not entirely shure I could finish the job. It’s been a busy day.’
He sways a little and I would steady him with my hand on his arm if I didn’t think he might crash on top of me and squash me flat.
‘I may be a teeny bit neinbriated … brineanted … wankered.’
‘I’d say that was an accurate description.’
Two of his friends catch him just as he’s about to fell a lamp and possibly smash a glass table in two.
‘Goodnight, Olly,’ I murmur as he lies spread-eagled over a sofa, his mouth open, snoring.
I think it’s time for me to call it a night too but there’s no way I’m interrupting Immy. I find my bag stuffed behind the TV cupboard and dig out my phone.
Immy, gone back to apartment.
Have fun with your rower xxx
At this hour, there’s no way I’m going to wander out to the street to hail a cab. The staff have left now, and won’t be back until morning to clear up the mess, so I decide to find Jocasta and ask her to give me a number. I hear her voice coming from a room off the hallway and walk inside.
‘Jocasta, thanks for a great party but –’
Two faces glance up at me from the sofa. One is hers and the other is Rupert’s.
‘Oh, hello, Lauren. I’ve got a friend of yours here.’
‘Good evening, Lauren, or perhaps I should say good morning now.’
That lazy, sneering voice could have been designed to bring me crashing down to earth. He lounges on the sofa, smoking a cigar. He’s dressed in white tie and tails with a garish waistcoat, now stained with something yellow, and he reminds me of Mr Toad. My first thought is to wonder if Alexander has told him about our row. Then I remind myself that Rupert can’t hurt me now. Nothing can.
Jocasta smiles benignly – obviously she has no idea of the animosity between Rupert and me. ‘Oh, of course, I forgot you two know each other through Alexander. What a shame he couldn’t make it, but duty calls. My father’s a lieutenant colonel in the Guards so I know what it’s like when you’ve someone close on active service.’
‘Lauren must be out of her mind with worry but she’s trying to soldier on and be brave, aren’t you?’ So, he doesn’t know …
He crosses one leg over the other and the smoke from his cigar wreathes through the air, catching at my throat. I come close to hating him.
‘Alexander would hate anyone moping and worrying over him, and I’m not the hand-wringing type.’ I turn to Jocasta. ‘Jocasta, thanks for a lovely party but I’m off now. Do you have the number of a cab company?’
‘You’ll have a wait, at this hour.’
‘That’s fine.’
‘I’ll go and find one. I think there’s a card in the kitchen drawer. Hang on.’
I decide to hang on elsewhere but before I can leave the room, Rupert speaks. ‘I know you and Alexander are history.’
You know that thing about not being able to be hurt any more? I lied. But I toss his barb back at him. ‘And?’
‘I knew it would happen sooner or later. It was inevitable.’
‘You know fuck all about me, and I don’t care what you think about Alexander.’ I hate myself for rising to his bait but I’m tired and screwed over and sick to death of his sneering.
He brushes ash from his thigh. ‘Nice try but I can see you’re trying not to cry even now. I know you’ve had a major row and I know why. No one crosses the Hunts, I warned you way back. They band together when they’re threatened. I guessed it wouldn’t be too long before Alexander came to his senses.’
‘You’re sick.’
‘No, I’m only looking out for my family.’
‘Your family! You’re not part of Alexander and Emma’s lives. You’re out to destroy him because you know you’ll never have what he has.’
‘Meaning you?’ he sneers. ‘You’re a very beautiful girl, Lauren, bright, classy, but you’re not One of Us. Not quite the thing, as my grandfather liked to say. Incidentally, he was Alexander’s grandfather too.’
‘Isn’t nature cruel?’ I say, trembling with anger inside. ‘You appear to have got all the asshole genes.’
He laughs and exhales smoke, which stings my eyes and makes me want to cough.
‘I offered you plenty of chances to jump ship, so to speak. You and I could have had a good time, but you’re not the one for Alexander and everyone can see it. You should have told him about Emma and Henry Favell. Bad, bad decision, but I’m not surprised you tried to go all big sister on her. The thing is, you’ll never be Emma’s big sister, and when Alexander told me that you knew she was seeing Favell and lied to him about it, I wasn’t surprised.’
I feel physically sick when he says this and the fact that Alexander has related the whole thing to him – and blamed me – makes me sick with anger and disappointment. While I struggle to reply, Rupert flows on, spewing out more bile.
‘Did you enjoy the tape, by the way?’
I stare at him, anger building. ‘You sent it.’ Instantly, I think I already knew. It had to be.
‘Don’t you want to know why?’
I smile at him icily. ‘No.’
As his face falls in surprise and disappointment, I fight against every urge to engage with him and tell myself not to give him one ounce of satisfaction. I turn towards the hallway and my intake of breath is audible because the woman blocking the doorway is Valentina.
Chapter Nineteen
‘Ciao, Lauren.’
She towers over me, in stiletto-heeled boots and a black leather mini dress that must have been sprayed on to her.
‘What are you doing here?’ I manage.
‘Rupert invited me. I am sooo sorry to hear that you’re having more problems with Alexander.’
‘No, you’re not,’ I spit, cross with myself for rising to her bait.
She reaches out to touch me but I shrink back.
‘If you think he’s going to rush back into your arms, you’re even more deluded than I thought you were.’
‘I don’t think he’s going to rush back to me, he already has.’ She smiles. ‘I think you have seen the tape by now?’
‘Yes I have, and we both ignored it.’ This is a slight twisting of the facts but I’m in no mood for semantics by now.
‘That wasn’t what I heard.’ Rupert smirks at me from the sofa.
‘How do you even know what happened? I didn’t tell anyone about it except Immy and Alexander and they wouldn’t have told you.’
He sniggers. ‘Oh come on, I can picture the scene. I really thought you deserved a Valentine’s Day surprise.’
He�
��s unbelievable, but I don’t need to ask him why he wants to split us up so badly. He’s envious of what Alexander has and jealous of anyone trying to enter his world.
‘So what? That clip could have been filmed years ago.’
Valentina sniggers. ‘No, it was filmed the day I went to Oxford to comfort Alexander and we ended up in bed. I hear Alexander entertained you too later, and I can’t say I’m happy about that, but you know Alexander, always doing his duty. You’re just a toy for him.’
I can’t speak. She’s just tapped into my deepest fears and suspicions.
‘Poor Lauren. The whole time you and Alexander have been seeing each other, I’ve been sleeping with him. While you think he has been training’ – she brackets her long red nails around the word ‘training’ – ‘and taking care of things at Falconbury, he has been screwing me.’
‘You’re lying, Valentina, and I refuse to listen to any more.’ I begin to walk off, deciding I’ll find a taxi elsewhere.
‘No, it is you who is deluding yourself. Alexander has told me that I’m the only one for him, and we’ll get married when you’ve gone back to Washington. When he comes back from this place he has gone, I’ll be waiting.’
‘Then you’ll be waiting a very long time, but I don’t care what you or Alexander do, not that I believe a single word you’ve said. You’re desperate and, in my humble opinion, completely out of your mind. And as for you, Rupert, when Alexander finds out you sent that clip, he’ll cut off your tiny dick. It’s a shame I won’t be here because I’d have enjoyed watching that. Now, get out of my way, I’m leaving. I don’t like the class of people at this party any more.’
Barging past Valentina, with Rupert’s sneering laughter ringing in my ears, I march out of the room and straight out of the front door of the house. I don’t believe her for a moment. She’s deranged and outrageous and I shouldn’t even care now that Alexander and I are over, yet even the minuscule possibility that he may have been taking me for a ride all along stabs me like a knife.