by Dara Girard
He swore, that had been a wrong move. “I didn’t want you to know yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because of this. Because I knew you’d be angry at me for what I did.”
“What did you do? What did my brother do? How could you both have kept this from me? I don’t even know what this is!”
“Carissa, I know you must be curious, but let’s just focus on us right now.”
She headed to the door. “If you won’t tell me then I’ll get my brother to.”
He grabbed her arm. “Okay, wait, wait,” he said in surrender. “I’ll tell you. But please, I need you to sit down.”
She did and waited.
He took a deep breath; the action seeming to hurt as the memories came flooding back. Why had his brother brought it up? Why couldn’t he have waited? He had a plan and it could have worked.
“Kenric,” Carissa said when he remained silent.
He gazed down at her. “Do you remember your promise?”
“My promise?”
“That you’d stay by my side and trust me?”
Carissa shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “Right now I don’t trust anyone. First I have your brother saying awful things to me and implying that my brother did something terrible. Then I discover that you spoke to him behind my back and that he’s keeping something from me too. Don’t you dare ask me to trust you when you’ve lied to me by omission.”
He nodded. “You’re right, but I thought I was protecting you.”
“From what? From you or from him?”
Carissa regretted the words the moment she said them. She’d wanted to spur him on to speak but had hurt him, instead, she saw a look of devastation crossing his face and then she remembered Joshua’s words about the sight of his tears at his sister’s gravesite. She had her anger, but she had to consider his pain and consider that his actions—though wrong, had been for her benefit. “I’m sorry,” she said taking his hand, and tugging him to sit down beside her. “I didn’t mean that. I’d never be afraid of you. I’m just…I feel betrayed and your brother looked as if he hated me.”
Kenric’s gaze hardened to granite. “He shouldn’t have done that. You’re innocent and this has nothing to do with you.”
She held his hand in both of hers then brought it to her mouth and kissed it. “I’m strong enough to hear whatever you have to say. Please tell me.”
He took a deep breath, but something about her action seemed to relax him. He realized that he also needed her trust. That no matter what he said that she’d listen to him, even if she didn’t believe him. “We had a vacation home down here fifteen years ago where we all used to come. I had a sister who was…” He shook his head. “I don’t know the best word for it really. Lost, I guess. She had everything money could buy except happiness, although we all tried our best to give it to her. Unfortunately, she found it on her own one day—first in a nice sweet smoke then an ugly little pill and finally in a beautiful white powder. I was able to keep most of her suppliers away, except for one. He was newer, young, about eighteen at the time, and ambitious and more dangerous. Twice he’d ‘loaned’ my sister out for favors. The drugs were bad enough, but I wasn’t going to let him turn her into a prostitute as well, so I thought I could make him a deal. I had the arrogance of the twenty-two year old I was at the time, that I could handle anything with money. I gave him nearly sixty thousand dollars to stay away from my sister. He agreed, took the money and disappeared from our lives. Within a year my sister was clean and on her way to a better life.
“Then the following summer I came down to the family vacation home for a visit and opened the door to the sound of my younger brother’s screams. I found my sister unresponsive on the bedroom floor. I called the ambulance then I looked up and saw a reflection in the mirror someone was in the closet. I pulled him out and when I recognized him, I grabbed a hanger and nearly killed him. He escaped when the EMTs arrived, but it was too late for my sister. He had taken my money and lied to me. He watched my sister take her last fatal dose. I never thought I’d see him again until the night I had dinner with your brother.”
Carissa let Kenric’s hand go. “You must have him confused with someone else. My brother had entered college on a full scholarship at the time.”
“What was the name of the scholarship? Did you see the application? Was it—”
“No, but you can’t be sure.”
Kenric smiled without humor. “You think I’d forget the face of the man I tried to kill?”
Carissa shook her head. It was too unimaginable to believe. Her brother didn’t deal drugs—and prostitution? That was ludicrous! He was as clean as they came. He was driven, the smart one. The one who had made their family proud.
“I know it’s hard to wrap your mind around, but it was him. With my money he paid for his education, his food and his shelter and his chance for a better life while he preyed on my sister and others like her.”
Carissa’s mind spun in bewilderment. He wasn’t talking about Glenn. It wasn’t possible. “But why would he? We weren’t raised—”
“He remembered me Carissa. Why do you think that is?”
She shook her head, unable to face him. She stared blindly out the window. “I don’t know.”
“I let him know that I remembered him.”
“And what did he say?” she asked in a hollow voice, feeling empty.
“He didn’t deny that we’d met before, but said he didn’t supply her last dose.”
“And did you believe that?”
“No, but I can’t change it. Nothing will bring my sister back. But I don’t want to think about the past. I want—”
“You should go.”
“I know you don’t want to believe me—”
She stared at him. “That’s the awful part. I do. So many things didn’t make sense back then. His scholarship. His story about getting mugged. Kenric, I believe you.” She pounded her chest with her fist, tears springing to her eyes. “And it’s killing me.”
He reached for her. “Carissa—”
She recoiled from his touch. “How can you even look at me?”
“What?”
“How can you even think of building a future with me?”
“We both know how we feel and we can work through this together,” he said in a soft voice, his eyes pleading.
“How about your family? Will they accept me?”
“They will in time.”
She wiped away her tears and shook her head. “You didn’t see your brother’s face.”
“I will handle my brother.”
“And at your parent’s fancy party do you want me to pretend that I don’t have two exes, that I lack a college degree and that my brother was the dealer who may have been responsible for your sister’s death?”
“No, you don’t have to pretend to be anything, and I’ll make sure none of that comes up.”
“I can’t marry you Kenric.” She stood. “You should go. No, I won’t marry you.”
He stood too. “Carissa.”
“Not until I find out the truth.”
“The truth doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me. Right now, I can hardly look at you, how can I face your family?”
“You know he’ll deny everything.”
“He can deny all he wants. I’m used to dealing with liars,” she said in a sour tone.
Kenric fell silent then ran a tired hand down his face. “So you’ll marry me after we find out the truth? Okay, then I’ll—”
“No, not ‘we’. Me,” Carissa said tapping her chest, surprised that he could still talk about marrying her. “My family has hurt you enough. I have to uncover this on my own. Do you know why I believe you about Glenn? Because my family is filled with losers, liars and thieves. I thought he’d changed that and I thought I’d escaped it, but I didn’t. Having you by my side would be like throwing a beautiful golden ball into the gutter.”
“Are you sure you�
�re not trying to protect your brother from me? Did he maybe hint at something about me?”
“He didn’t tell me anything. I told you that. I believe your story.”
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
“Because I need to find out more. On my own. Now please go.”
He cradled her hand in his. “Promise you’ll come back to me. I’ll give you space and I’ll give you time, just promise. I love you.”
She kissed him, knowing that he wanted her to say that she loved him too, but her heart felt too broken to let her.
Chapter Twenty-one
He knew judgment day would come. Glenn saw the look on his sister’s face and wordlessly gave his baby son to his wife before following her into the hall of the apartment. He had to play it cool, he’d let her reveal what she knew. He may be jumping to conclusions. Kenric didn’t want to hurt her. He followed her to the courtyard, making sure to keep his expression casual although he felt tense.
“What was the name of the scholarship you won again?” Carissa asked.
“Why are you bringing that up?”
“Because I just figured out that Notrevir is Riverton spelled backwards, I thought that was an odd coincidence.”
“Yes.”
“But it’s not. You took their money and lied to us.”
“That was nearly—”
She slapped him. “You bastard. All this time looking down on James when you followed in his footsteps. You just didn’t get caught.”
“I did what I had to do. Those people in their big houses in Washington DC lie to us all the time. They tell us to take minimum wage jobs that they’ve never held, to work our way up in companies when they use connections and money to get whatever they want. I knew I didn’t have a chance to break the cycle. I didn’t have any connections, but I realized I could make money. Besides, if I didn’t sell it, someone else would. You wouldn’t believe how much snow was falling in those rich neighborhoods and on those gleaming college campuses. I didn’t owe them anything.”
“You killed her.”
“I didn’t kill anyone. I shouldn’t have been there I know, but an associate left something of mine at her place and I went to get it. She was already halfway through a bad batch when I saw her. I tried to do something, then I heard footsteps and hid. I really was out of the game by then, I swear. I was going to school for real. I graduated, remember? I didn’t give her that last dose.”
“And you think that makes everything alright?”
He couldn’t help a nervous smile. Facing Riverton had been hard, but his sister’s good opinion meant the world and her look of disgust was like a slow death. “I learned a lot about business,” he said feigning disinterest.
“You think this is funny?”
“Look, it’s over now.”
“You lied to me. You lied to all of us.”
“Do you really think there are keys to the castle? You couldn’t afford college and you pressured me to go.”
“Don’t put this on me.”
“I had no connections, no way to qualify for loans, my grades weren’t going to get me far, what was I supposed to do?”
“Be a man, instead of a damn dog like the rest of the men in our family,” she said then turned.
“We can’t play by their rules, Carey,” he called after her. “The odds are stacked against us for a reason. You’ll never be part of their world and they’ll never understand ours. A man like Kenric is out of your reach.”
She spun around and glared at him with a rage he’d only seen in his father, who’d terrified him as a boy. “And you made certain of that.”
***
She smelled biscuits. Carissa walked into her apartment and swore. Biscuits only meant one thing…
“You’ve been a bad girl,” Sara said, closing the oven.
Carissa flopped down into her couch. “I don’t need this right now.”
“You’re lucky I intervened. You haven’t worn your third pair of stockings yet.”
“Who cares about stockings? I—”
Sara set a plate of biscuits on the table. “Haven’t looked at your instructions for weeks and I bet you haven’t said your oath in while.”
“I really don’t—”
She sat in front of her. “I was instructed to come back before you ruined everything. They were going to send Rania.” She sent Carissa a pointed look. “But that would have been ugly. She is not pleased with you, because you’re ruining a good thing.”
Carissa rubbed her forehead. Who was Rania? “I really don’t care.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve gotten what we promised. Kenric loves you and he’s not ashamed of you.”
Carissa shook her head, fighting back tears. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve to be his wife. I don’t deserve to meet his family.”
“You’re not your brother.”
“I’m ashamed that it took two failed marriages to finally find the right one, that—”
Sara held up her hand. “Excuse me, but have you missed the big point? He loves you.”
“And I cannot accept that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too precious a gift for someone like me.”
“Remember the oath?”
“I don’t give a damn about the stupid oath. All this shouldn’t have happened to me. You should have chosen someone else. I’ll never forget the look of pain on his face as he told me about his sister. He comes from a good family. To tie himself to us would be laughable and cruel.”
“Are you worried about what other people will think again?”
“No, this is what I think.”
Sara pulled out her cell phone then held up a picture of Carissa and Kenric laughing at the beach. “Why doesn’t this man deserve this woman?”
“I didn’t say he didn’t deserve me, I said I didn’t deserve him.”
“I know what you said, but that’s not my question. This woman here makes this man happy, he wants to spend his life with her. Does that make him stupid?”
“No.”
“I’m here to support you because the next step will be hard.”
“Next step?”
“Your third set of instructions are to wear your last pair of stockings to a place that scares you. Are you ready for that?”
She could already feel her palms getting sweaty. She knew what finding out the truth really entailed and she felt strangely bereft without Kenric. She’d learned to depend on him so much. “Yes, I’m ready. But do I really have to wear them there? Couldn’t I—”
“No, you have to face your past.”
Chapter Twenty-two
Her past was a smooth looking man with golden-brown eyes and a slick grin. Her ex husband, James Pinker, could charm a bird out of the sky. It was his charm that had blinded her, he was also an expert liar. Although she’d told Kenric she was used to liars, James still scared her. This was his second time inside, but he’d be out soon and right back to doing what he’d always done. But she was determined to get the answers she needed, no matter the consequences.
“Baby girl you’re looking fine,” he said taking a seat in front of her and acting as if they were meeting in a fancy restaurant instead of the jail’s visiting room. “Wow, how come you never dressed up like this for me before?”
Carissa glanced over at the bars on the windows, the sight a reminder of the cramped apartment she’d shared with him. “I have something to ask you.”
“I’m doing well.”
She shook her head. “That’s wasn’t it. Did you know about my brother?”
“Did I know what about your brother?”
“Don’t play innocent with me, he told me you introduced him to your line of work.”
He lifted his brows. “You got him talking? I’m surprised. Disappointed, really.”
“So it’s true?”
“I thought I was being generous, sharing my expertise with a younger man who wanted to improve himself.” Ja
mes grinned. “He was a natural.”
“He was so good he killed a girl.”
James yawned. “Your brother never killed anyone. If he said he did, he’s just bragging.”
“Bragging?”
“You know, trying to make himself look big.”
“I know what it means, but how could anyone brag about killing someone?”
He looked at her as if she were naïve. “You know the world better than that, baby. Fear gets respect.” He looked her up and down. And she knew he noticed her fitted two-piece outfit, and chocolate colored fishnet stockings. “You know, they allow for conjugal visits.”
“I’m seeing someone.”
“He doesn’t have to know.”
Carissa ignored him. “Did you know anything about the Riverton overdose? It was about fifteen years ago. I know you used to keep track of them like it was a game.”
“Not a game baby, business. I needed to know where my money was coming from. If a client died, I needed to get a new one.”
“So what can you tell me about it?”
“Wasn’t my route.”
“James, you know something.”
He scratched his cheek, thoughtful. “When your brother stopped supplying her she went to Cracker. You know like after…what was that…yea, Cracker Jacks? Do they still have those boxes with the little prize inside? He was the same. You were always in for a surprise. The worse kind out there. I always provided the highest quality. You could count on it, but his product was complete sh—”
“I get the point. Where is he?”
His expression grew serious. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because I have some questions.”
“What are you doing? You found out about me and left this life years ago, why dreg it all up? Stay away baby, don’t let your brother drag you down. You’re a classy lady.”
She sniffed. “No, I’m not, but you always were a good liar.”
“It’s the truth. Baby, I used to delivery to multi-million dollar mansions, Rolls and Bentleys, there was one chick who dropped twenty-five thou’ a week on clothes, don’t ask me how I know, I just like knowing the ones who can pay me. I saw them all, and sure they had money and degrees, but I could tell the classy ones from the money hoes. You know, the ones if you stripped them of their cash, they’d have nothing left. You may not have their shine, but you have the class.”