“So there’s no wedding on the horizon?” he said, lips turning into a playful smile. “Maybe I still have a chance with the beautiful American girl?”
I looked down at my drink. Did he have a chance? What was happening with Evan? I didn’t know.
As much as I liked men and tended to move fast, I had never dated more than one guy at a time. I had never, ever cheated on anyone.
“I like Evan,” I said, deciding that honesty was the best policy. “But we’ve only gone out once and I don’t even know how he feels about me.”
“He’s an idiot if he isn’t crazy about you.” Jake had a way of continuously surprising me. “You’re telling me this because you don’t want to lead me on?”
I nodded. “I think I might like you, too, Jake. But I want you to know that I’m seeing someone else.”
“Fair enough.” He took a long sip of his coffee. “We can still be friends, correct?”
It seemed like a trick question, but there was only one acceptable answer. “Sure. We can still be friends.”
“Cool.” He smacked his hands together like he was sealing the deal. “Then I say that today, as friends, we spend the entire day together.”
“What?” I laughed. “The entire day?”
“Why not? Do you have to work? You should call in sick.”
The truth was that I had gone into work on my day off just to be busy. Evan had made it clear that he had his own life, and I had wanted to prove that I had one, too. But in reality, I didn’t have to go back to the studio. I could hang out with Jake all day, just like he asked. But was that the right thing to do?
“I don’t know, Jake. That seems like a pretty aggressive friend situation.”
“Stop.” He glared at me. “Don’t make this into a big deal. I just want to hang out, show you around town a bit. It’s not a thing.”
“A thing?”
“A ploy. A scheme. A nefarious plan. It’s just me asking you to hang out as friends.” He looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. “What do you say?”
When he put it that way, I felt stupid thinking about saying no. It wasn’t like I already had a bunch of friends and didn’t have time for one more.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Yes.” He pumped his fist triumphantly. “You pretend that you are a tough girl, but you’re a total softie and you can’t resist me.”
“I pity you,” I clarified.
He stuck his tongue out at me. “Meanie.”
“Wow. That was incredibly childish. I may be too mature to be your friend.”
“Too late. You already agreed.” He checked the time on his phone. “It’s not even 11:00 yet. We have so much time to get to know each other better.”
“I’m slightly terrified.” I yelped as he kicked my foot under the table. “Now who is being mean?”
“Would you please finish that coffee so we can get on with our day?” He pretended to be annoyed by me.
I took my time finishing the last few sips of coffee, determined to annoy him as much as possible. When I was finally done, he jumped to his feet.
“That was painful,” he said, waiting for me to stand up. “If you keep doing everything that slowly, we’ll be lucky to make it to the corner before dark.”
“You just said you wanted to spend the day together. Now all of sudden you are being demanding about how we spend our time. I call that a bait and switch.”
“Time is precious, Camryn,” he replied urgently.
The deep look on his face said he wasn’t just teasing me anymore. Unlike Evan, Jake didn’t seem to mind showing me that he had layers.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we stepped onto the street.
“I’m going to show you Paris,” he said with a promising smile.
We started at the Louvre. It turned out that Jake was a big art nerd. I had to admit that I was surprised. The destination would’ve made more sense if it was Evan that had picked it, but I wasn’t going to complain. I liked listening to Jake prattle on about this painting and that sculpture.
“So, a lot of people come here just to see the Mona Lisa,” he said as we navigated our way around a group of school children. “But there’s so much more.”
In addition to Mona, we stopped to visit the Venus de Milo, the Raft of Medusa, and Madonna on the Rocks. The crowds were overwhelming and loud.
“Is it always like this?” I asked, cringing as a baby started screaming inches from my ear.
“More or less.” He gave me a sympathetic look. “We’ve hit the highlights. We can go now if you want.”
“Show me your favorite piece first,” I suggested as a compromise. It was pretty obvious that he enjoyed being there and I didn’t want to ruin his fun.
He cringed noticeably. “You’ve already seen it.”
“Really?” I was shocked. Based on his level of interest in art, I had expected him to favor some lessor known piece, something that didn’t have gaggles of tourists staring at it.
“It’s Mona,” he admitted. “I know. It’s so cliché.”
“I’m a little disappointed in you,” I said gravely. “I didn’t think she was anything special.”
“She’s not,” he said emphatically. “That’s the whole point.”
I flinched. “You’ve lost me.”
“Mona is plain and boring, even drab. If she was a live woman, she wouldn’t win any beauty pageants. But still. Thousands of people come here every year to look at her. People connect with her. You have to admit that’s pretty awesome.”
I shook my head in wonder. “You are a total dork.”
“Fine.” He threw up his hands. “Let’s go do something less dorky.”
“Don’t be so offended. I happen to like dorky,” I said with a coy smile.
Jake exhaled deeply. “Whew. I thought I had ruined my chances already.”
I chose to ignore the obviousness of his comment. I still hadn’t made up my mind on whether he had a chance or not.
He didn’t seem deterred as he valiantly guided me around town. We took a slow stroll through a peaceful garden, observing fountains and statues. I happily followed Jake, smiling as he pointed out his favorite places and laughing at stories about his failed attempts with the local language.
“Wait. You ordered a scone but ended up with a fish sandwich?” I laughed loudly. “How is that even possible?”
“Clearly the waitress had poor hearing. It couldn’t possibly have been my fault.” Jake ignored my skeptical look. “Do you like crepes?”
“Do monkeys like bananas?”
“Nice.” Jake pointed across the street. “They have the best crepes in Paris right over there.”
I happily followed him into the tiny restaurant. In less than twenty minutes, we had devoured four different crepes. He was right- they were amazing.
Between the long waits at the Louvre, our long walk through town, and the break for crepes, we had worked our way through early evening. The sky was already turning dark as we circled around and headed toward the Eiffel Tower.
“You should know that I have some… issues with heights,” Jake told me as we got closer to the famous landmark.
“Issues?” I laughed. “Is that tough guy talk for saying you are scared of heights?”
“I’m not scared of them,” he protested. “It’s not like I scream or cry little a baby around them. I just prefer to avoid them whenever possible.”
I nodded seriously. “I see the difference. Thanks for clarifying.”
We stopped at bottom of the tower and looked up. I had to admit- it lived up to the hype. I was far more impressed by it than I had been by old Mona.
“What now?” I asked, starting to feel dizzy.
“We go up,” Jake said.
He gave me a hesitant look.
“Really? Even though you have issues with heights?” I tilted my head. “Why in the world would you want to go up to the top?”
“Because the view is supposed to be amazing. You des
erve amazing.” He gave me a half smile. “And I’m also hoping you will be endeared by my vulnerability.”
He looked so innocent and anxious- like a child. It was more than a little endearing.
“I promise not to laugh if you wet yourself,” I said.
It was decided that we would go immediately to the observatory. I offered to settle for one of the stops on a lower level, but Jake declined. If he was going to do it, he wanted to go all the way. I had to respect that.
Over 900 feet above ground, we stepped off the lift. I was so excited that I hurried to the observation deck windows without stopping to see how Jake was holding up. When I finally remembered and turned around, he was only a few feet behind me.
“Okay?” I asked.
“Not panicking yet,” he replied through tight lips.
“Come here.” I held out my hand, like a mother coaxing a small child. “It’s not that scary. I promise.”
His hand slipped over mine, covering it easily.
“There you go. Good boy.”
“Funny.” He glared at me, but he kept holding my hand as he stepped closer. I could hear his breathing become more hurried.
“You’re doing great,” I said, playfully bumping against him. “You don’t at all look like you are being tortured.”
It took him a few minutes to adjust, but eventually his hand stopped gripping mine so hard it was cutting off the circulation to my fingers.
“Are you ready to step outside,” I asked.
He looked at me in panic. “Outside?”
“If we want to get the full effect, I really think we need to go out there.” I pointed to the people standing outside. “I think you can do this.”
“I think you are giving me too much credit.” Jake was squeezing my hand hard again.
“It’s dark outside. Our day together is pretty much over.” I looked out the window thoughtfully. “If you come outside with me, I’ll give you the night, too. Until midnight.”
“Midnight?” His eyes sparkled. “I knew you were going to fall for my charms.”
“I haven’t yet.” I took a step toward the outdoor balcony, tugging him forward. “Come outside.”
More than anyone, I knew the importance of facing your fears. I wasn’t trying to put him in an uncomfortable situation, but I really felt like once he got outside, he would be glad I encouraged him to do it.
Very reluctantly, he followed me, stopping just before stepping onto the outdoor observatory.
“It’s going to be fine,” I said, gripping his hand tighter. “Better than fine, actually. I believe you promised me amazing.”
He sighed. I had him now. He couldn’t go back on his word.
We started off by taking just a couple of steps outside, slowly getting used to it. Jake kept his eyes focused way off in the distance, almost at the sky.
“Wow.” I had to admit that the view was pretty spectacular. Without even realizing it, I pulled my hand free and walked over to the edge.
The Palais de Chaillot was below, looking small, but majestic. I could see the V-shaped streets surrounding it. Over on the Champ de Mars, people that looked like ants buzzed around.
When I turned around and looked up, I could see the tower’s strong, latticework above us.
“Jake?” I whirled, surprised that he wasn’t standing where I had left him.
Instead, he had walked a few more feet outside, while still keeping a distance from the edge.
“Not bad, huh?” he asked, and I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the view or his own progress.
“You didn’t disappoint,” I responded, an answer suitable for both. But even though he was putting up a brave front, I could tell that he was still tense and anxious. “We can go down now.”
He stuck out his chin stubbornly. “I’m fine.”
“I’m sure,” I said with a small smile. “But I’ve seen enough. Let’s go.”
I didn’t have to encourage him again. Jake was back on the elevator in less than ten seconds. I was pretty sure he was holding his breath the entire ten minutes it took us to get back on solid ground.
“You did it!” I held up my hand for a high five.
He smacked my hand weakly. “Let’s keep the rest of our activities safe and boring, okay?”
“Wow. I did not expect that from you.” I shook my head, feigning disappointment. “Good thing I was already planning to end the night at midnight anyway.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. That’s not what I meant…”
“No take backs.” I laughed at the tragic look on his face. “Where to next, Safe and Boring?”
He thought for a second. “How do you feel about water?”
“Water?” I immediately assumed perverted intentions. “No. I will not skinny dip with you.”
“Please.” He rolled his eyes. “Just follow me, Negative Nancy.”
I ended up following him onto a boat. We joined about twenty other people on a night cruise on the Seine River. Paris was illuminated with lights, the Eiffel Tower included, and even I had to admit that it was incredibly romantic.
“Today has felt like a little more than friends just hanging out,” I said quietly.
We had taken a seat at the back of the boat and probably couldn’t be overheard, but I didn’t want to take a chance.
“Maybe that’s because of all those warm and fuzzy feelings you have towards me,” Jake said, not completely teasing.
“Jake, I told you where I stand.” I tried to be stern, but with his adorable smile and inviting eyes just a few inches from mine, it was almost impossible.
“Evan Carter doesn’t deserve you,” he said, those same eyes turning cold.
I wasn’t in the mood to fight about it. “That’s for me to decide. Not you.”
“I’m just looking out for you. As a friend.” That last word came out bitterly.
“If you really wanted to be my friend, you would respect my decisions. Even if you don’t agree with them.” I was able to match his bitterness. “Now butt out.”
“Fine.” He turned away, looking out over the city lights.
His jaw was clenched tight, his shoulders tense. I wasn’t sure why he felt so strongly about Evan. It wasn’t like Jake even knew him. But then again, I also wasn’t sure why I felt so strongly about Evan.
The rest of the boat ride was quiet and uncomfortable. It was only 9:00 when we were back on dry land, but neither of us felt like extending our time together.
“Let me walk you home,” Jake insisted.
I did. Our conversation was stilted as we walked, and when it was time to say goodbye, our hug was formal. Feeling bad about how things had ended after it being such a lovely day, I gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
“I had a nice time today, Jake.” I gave him a soft smile.
“I’m glad.” His look was meaningful. “I still think you deserve amazing, Camryn. Even if it’s not with me.”
He walked away with his head up and his shoulders back.
Jake didn’t have any regrets tonight, but I did.
The next morning, after just a few hours of tossing and turning, I woke to find a text from Evan saying that he was going to be in Rome for a few days working on his new exhibit. He promised to call when he got back, but I was still disappointed.
After laying awake thinking about the last couple of days, I had realized why I was so invested in Evan. It wasn’t necessarily because of a magical connection. Frankly, we didn’t have much in common and the sex had been awkward. But I had made so many mistakes with guys in the past. Always leaping before looking. And when I had made up my mind to come to Paris, I had decided that I was going to change that behavior. And then after less a month, I had returned to my old ways.
What was wrong with me?
I needed advice. While I loved all of my friends equally, I knew that only one of them would truly understand.
Taylor was a relationship girl. She didn’t hook up with random guys or participate in one
night stands. Scottie was a good girl. She was pure and cautious. Olivia had been dating the same guy since sophomore year of high school. This wasn’t a predicament she could understand.
But Payton was a kindred spirit. She was always making rash decisions and wouldn’t cringe or judge me if I told her about Evan.
Payton answered on the third ring, sounding hung-over. But she listened patiently as I recapped the past 48 hours, and when I was done, she was quick to summarize.
“You slept with one hot guy and now another hot guy wants to sleep with you? Sounds rough.”
“Pay. Come one. This is serious.” But I had to admit that the way she put it didn’t sound that bad. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”
“Honest opinion?” She chomped loudly on a chip directly into the phone.
“Please.”
She exhaled dramatically. “This is all because of your father.”
“My father?”
“His death when you were so young was a defining moment in your life. And now you keep expecting men to leave you, so you can’t form attachments. You go after the guy that will sleep with you and leave town instead of the guy that worships you and wants to be with you forever.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know that Jake wants to be with me forever.”
“I was speaking metaphorically, but it’s interesting that you immediately assumed I was talking about Mr. Wimbledon.”
“It was pretty much implied.” I wasn’t sure what to think now. Maybe she had a point. I had been really close to my dad and when he died, it had destroyed me. Not long after that, Mom also took off because of her job and Jen and I had mostly been raised by our aunt. Maybe I did have difficulty forming attachments.
“I think we can both agree that I’ve pretty much nailed this therapy session. I’ll send you a bill in the mail.”
I groaned. “But you didn’t give me any answers. What should I do?”
“Follow your heart. Duh.” Payton sounded impatient. “Look, I think you already know what you want to do and you’re just scared. My advice is- get over it.”
It wasn’t the most thoughtful or insightful advice. It wasn’t even all that helpful. But I had a feeling that it was exactly the advice I needed to hear.
I had made Jake face his fear of heights; now I had to face my own fear.
French Kissing (Restless Hearts) Page 4