Sterling flipped her arm over and began to move his finger up and down her pulse at her wrist, tracing over the henna tattoo.
“When I first met you,” Sterling said, “you were this scary stalker girl. You smelled like a bar and you embarrassed me teasing about marriage.”
She groaned. “Not again! I’m never going to live this down.”
“Let me finish. The more time I’ve spent with you, the more I’ve been impressed by you. Your kindness, your smarts, and, as already mentioned, your beauty. The more I know you, the more I want to know you.”
Reese kept pressing. “As friends? Or someone you hired to work for you?”
Sterling shook his head. Still his fingers moved on her wrist, now down over her palm, tracing the lines in her hand as though by feel, since his eyes were intensely locked on hers. “No. To both.”
“I don’t go around kissing guys just because they’re handsome and charismatic,” Reese said.
“You think I’m handsome and charismatic?”
This earned him another smile. “I’m not giving your ego any more ammo. Look, I really don’t want to overstep or to push you into committing to something. Promise. I just want to be careful. I feel like I could really fall for you. Or am falling for you. And it needs to slow down. If you aren’t feeling the same way, I guess I want to know right now. So I can decide if it’s worth it to put myself out there more than I have.”
“I’m not playing games,” Sterling said. “I’m sorry if I’m not saying enough. I am not good at these kinds of conversations. And it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in a relationship. At least, not a fake relationship.”
Reese groaned and put her free hand over her face. “Oh, no—Morgan.”
“What?” Sterling said.
“Do you really not know how she feels about you?”
Sterling sighed and looked down at where his fingers linked through hers. “I suspected, but hoped not. When I hired her, she insisted that there was nothing and we would be totally professional. I had been getting signals that maybe it wasn’t true, but was not about to bring it up.”
“My job is tied into this as well. If Kevin finds out something is happening between us, he’ll fire me. And if the public finds out that we’re dating, it will make those baby-daddy rumors look true. It will look like you broke your childhood sweetheart’s heart. You’ll seem like a total womanizer.”
“Let’s not worry about Morgan and Kevin and the public right now. Let’s just think about you and me. If it was just you and me, what would you say about being my … girlfriend?”
Sterling’s cheeks flushed a little because he realized that “girlfriend” was not the word he wanted to say. He didn’t know exactly what word because “wife” sounded way too big—although strangely alluring—and “girlfriend” sounded way too small for the building feelings that had erupted in the last day since they started on this trip. Had they really only left this morning? People joked about “tour time” and how being on tour was like being in an alternate universe where time passed at a different pace. Sterling believed it.
“You don’t sound totally sure about that,” she said, her eyes looking a little hurt.
He squeezed her hand. “I’m not sure that it’s an adequate word for how I feel about you. Or what I think we could have. Girlfriend sounds too small.”
Reese’s smile lit up her face and made Sterling want to pull her into his lap and kiss her again. “Oh! That’s why you were hesitating? Could you ask me again? Just one more time so I can hear it and know you mean it.”
“Reese, will you be my girlfriend? I feel a little bit like I’m back in seventh grade or something. Check yes or no, please.”
Reese laughed. “Is that the last time you asked someone to be your girlfriend?”
“Back then it was ‘will you go with me,’” he said, and she laughed again. “Do I need to ask you that too? Just let me know what questions you need me to ask. I’ll ask them all.”
Her eyes glittered. “All of them?”
Sterling didn’t drop his gaze. “All of them. Now, have we done enough talking? I think I’d like to do more kissing.”
“I haven’t said yes yet!” She started to protest, but he had already pulled her across the couch to him. As he began kissing her, she was still giggling.
Chapter Nineteen
Reese had always thought that the idea of pinching yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming was stupid. In your dream, wouldn’t you just dream you were still pinching yourself? It was stupid. But as she stared at herself in the mirror of her beautiful suite, the setting sun’s light filtering through the open balcony doors along with the crash of the ocean, she was tempted to pinch herself.
“This is real,” she said out loud, then made a face. That was about as dumb as pinching yourself. But she felt like she needed some kind of reality check to get her feet back on the ground.
Sterling would be at her door in ten minutes and she had been ready for almost an hour in a black dress and heeled sandals she had bought at Ross. Her makeup was done and so was her hair. Waiting made her nervous. She was second-guessing everything, but at the same time, ached to see Sterling. They had spent the day together, always touching, so having him gone felt like something had been stripped away. Yep, she needed a reality check.
Reese grabbed her phone and dialed Staci, then went out to the balcony. “Oh my gosh tell me everything, “Staci gushed instead of saying hello.
Reese laughed. She had texted Staci the day before about the trip but hadn’t called yet. “I need help, Staci. I need you to bring me back down to earth.”
Staci groaned. “You did it, didn’t you? You—”
“It? No way! I most certainly did not give up my virginity to Sterling James! Do you not know me at all?”
“You should have let me finish. I meant you did it as in you fell for him. Hard.”
“Oh, well, yes. I did do that.” Reese giggled. “I’m like hopelessly fallen off the edge of the earth deep for him. I need you to help ground me. Tell me this is stupid. Tell me to slow down.”
“Girl, from the sound of your voice, nothing I could say will possibly stop this forward motion. Also, I’m pretty sure I told you so.”
Reese sighed. “You did. Now what do I do?”
“Does he feel the same way?”
“We kissed.” Reese felt her cheeks grow warm just thinking back to the first kiss on this balcony. And then the kisses on the sofa. And then out on the beach and in the private cabana by the pool.
Staci was squealing. “Okay, calm. I’m calm now. You kissed Sterling James. Wow. So, how was it?”
“If I say ‘life-changing,’ does that make me a really sad person?”
“It probably makes you a totally smitten one. Now you know that kissing doesn’t necessarily mean he feels the same way. Did you talk about this?”
“We did. And he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.” Reese had to hold the phone away from hear ear because of Staci’s screaming. When she finally lowered the decibel level, even slightly, Reese asked, “Where are you? At work you’d be getting fired. At home and you’re getting us evicted.”
“I’m in my car. Unimportant. You are now Sterling James’ girlfriend. Are you dying?”
“Yes. I’m in complete disbelief. Again, this is why I’m calling. I need you to talk me down to reality.”
“No way. You enjoy every second of this.”
“You say that like you don’t think it will last.”
Staci was quiet. “Do you think it will?”
Reese’s heart felt tight. She had. That was the really, terribly stupid thing. She was the one who had told Sterling that they were moving fast. But that was halfway because she knew her own feelings. They were much more than girlfriend feelings. Despite not wanting to let her romantic heart carry her away, she had thought about things like wedding dresses and future homes and babies. Even if just briefly. Even if she knew it was too soon. Sh
e had thought about it and she wanted it.
“This might sound impractical or silly or a hundred other things, but I want it to last.”
When Staci spoke again, she was using her office voice. The one she used in planning meetings or when talking to clients about strategy. “In that case, we need to talk about a few things.”
“Make it fast because he’s about to show up to take me to dinner.”
“Fine. One: Kevin is going to fire you if he finds out. I know you don’t like your job, but if you want to transition out, that might also put a wrench in your plans. So, have an exit strategy.”
“I’ll work on it,” Reese said, smiling. She had thought about this too but had been pushing it out of her mind instead of seeing the situation as Staci just helped her to: as a challenge she needed to solve.
“Two: Before you fall too hard, make sure he has the kind of character you want.”
“Staci—” Reese started to interrupt and defend Sterling, but Staci kept going.
“Hear me out. I know he has the kind of charisma that packs stadiums. I can’t even imagine how powerful that would be on a one-to-one level. But what is he really like beyond that? You go to church every week—barring cross-country tours—and I know that for you, God is huge. That faith guides your decisions. Do you know what guides his?”
Reese didn’t have anything to say here and felt a sharp twist of guilt. Staci was right—normally she would have picked from the dating pool at church. But those guys had proven to have less than stellar character as well. She wanted a man who loved her and loved God. Sterling seemed to have the first down, but she knew nothing about the second.
“And I know I sound like a cliché TV-movie Christian here, but take this as a real question: have you prayed about it?”
Reese stayed quiet for a moment, thinking back to the last time she had prayed about anything. Sure, here and there she tossed up some silent prayers, but she hadn’t actually set aside time to give thanks or to ask for things or just to be reminded of who God was by being in his presence. It wasn’t just the tour either—this was a much longer-standing problem.
“No, I really haven’t. I think I’ve just been rolling along with the tour and with Sterling and where things are just going.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean he isn’t the guy for you. But maybe it’s time to take some responsibility in these decisions. Or to make sure you’re letting God take the lead.”
“I’m scared,” Reese said in a quiet voice.
“Girl, why?”
“I feel like … I have something good and so God’s going to take it.”
For a moment, Staci was quiet. And then she was using her almost-yelling-preaching kind of voice that Reese had only heard her use at church. “You know that I am not a prosperity-gospel, God-just-gives-you-good-stuff kind of believer. But we serve a good God, a God who loves you. He wants what’s best for you and he does want blessings for you. Do not for a moment believe that because you haven’t prayed enough or any other reason that he would withhold good things from you. You are his precious child. Know that if he takes this from you, it is only to give you something better.”
Reese smiled through tears brimming in her eyes. She sniffed. “Preach.”
“I will. But do not ruin your makeup. Trust and believe and ask. Be ready for his answer, whether it’s what you want or not.”
There was a knocking at the suite door. Reese felt a rush of excitement, but it was now tempered with hesitation. “Just a minute!” she called. “Staci, he’s here. Thank you. I needed to hear this. All of it.”
“Just so you know, I’m gonna be right here in my car praying for you. Let me know how it goes.”
Reese smiled. “Thank you. Call you later.”
Taking a breath, Reese went to the door. When she pulled it open, the sight of Sterling in a button-down gray shirt and black slacks made her pull in her breath. She’d never seen him in something so formal, other than some photos online from award shows.
“This is a great look on you,” she said.
“I wish I had gotten to compliment you first, but you literally stole my breath,” Sterling said.
They stood there for a moment, grinning like idiots, and then Reese suddenly thought of Staci, praying in her car. “Come in for a sec? I’m not quite ready.”
Sterling drank her in appreciatively, but not in a way that made her feel like a piece of meat. The difference was subtle, but hugely important. He made her feel attractive, but not disrespected.
He followed her in, looking a little nervous with his hands in his pockets, like he wasn’t sure how to greet her after their long day of togetherness. Nervous on him was adorable.
“I’ll be right back,” Reese said, ducking into the bathroom.
Inside, she rested her hands on the granite countertop and looked at herself in the mirror. It didn’t matter where you prayed, and it didn’t matter if what you were praying about was big or small. She knew God wanted it all and she had been holding back. That’s why so many of the Psalms were basically emotional outbursts from David. Still, she felt strangely hesitant about praying, which was another reminder of how long it had been.
Reese closed her eyes and leaned against the counter, putting her head down on the smooth granite. In a voice barely above a whisper, she said, “God, I know I’ve been distant. It feels like I’m kind of being selfish just showing up now because I want something. But I do want something. I want this to work with Sterling. Probably too much. Help me to know what to do. Make it obvious if I’m supposed to be with him and obvious if I’m not. Let me trust you, either way. I also pray for Sterling and his sister May. Mend the broken relationships in his family and let this intervention help May. Give him the strength he needs to do what he came to do. Amen.”
Using a tissue to wipe off a little makeup smudged underneath her eyes, Reese gave herself a last look in the mirror and then went out to join Sterling with a smile. “Now I’m ready.”
“Reese, quick—come here!”
She rushed toward the balcony at his tone. “What? Are you okay?”
“You were about to miss the sunset.”
Her heart warmed as Sterling nudged her so that she was in front of him at the railing, just like earlier in the day. Wrapping his arms around her, he put his chin on her shoulder. Together and without a word, they watched the sun sink below the Pacific.
Reese was glad that Sterling didn’t talk. She wouldn’t have been able to speak without him hearing the tears that had come out of nowhere. And she definitely didn’t want to have to explain that they were happy tears. All because of him.
* * *
Reese covered her mouth with her napkin to hide the laughter that she just knew was not an attractive look. “Let me get this straight: you hate your calves?”
“They’re tiny. Like, skinny giraffe legs or something. And you’re supposed to be sensitive. I didn’t laugh at you when you told me that you were sensitive about your tiny elf ears.”
“I have to see them.”
Sterling looked around the restaurant and lowered his voice. “Now?”
Reese nodded. “They have us set apart enough that no one’s going to notice. And there’s a table cloth. Just lift up your pant legs. I have to see your giraffe calves.”
“Fine. But you have to promise that you won’t break up with me over this. That would officially make our relationship the shortest I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something.” Sighing, Sterling stretched his leg out closer to her and pulled his pant leg to his knee. “See?”
Reese examined his calf. Which was, now that she was hyper-focused on it, a little more slender than you might expect given his otherwise muscular frame.
“I would never have thought that without you saying something,” Reese said.
He pointed a finger at her. “But you’re not denying it. That’s it. I’ve just lost my girlfriend over my dainty calves.”
This sent Reese into another fit of gigg
les just as the waiter came over to clear the plates. “Everything okay over here? Can I get you anything else?” he asked, giving Reese an eye. Clearly, raucous laughter wasn’t the norm in Coast, the gourmet restaurant inside of Shutters.
“Coffee?” Reese asked.
“For me too,” Sterling said. “And how about a slice of tiramisu?”
“That always makes me think of Sleepless in Seattle. You know, when Tom Hanks’ character is starting to date again. I guess it was the hot dessert in the nineties or something.”
“It should be a hot dessert in any decade, though it’s actually cool,” Sterling said. “You’ve had it before, right?”
Reese smiled. “It’s my favorite.”
He covered her hand with his on the table and moved his thumb up and down her first finger. “Okay, so we’ve covered a lot in our very first very official date: favorite color, favorite band—still can’t believe you didn’t choose me, by the way.”
“Hey! I can’t help it if I love John Mayer’s music.”
Sterling rolled his eyes. “His music?”
“Trust me, that’s all I love about him. From what I hear, he’s pretty awful.”
“What do you hear about me?”
The waiter brought over two coffees and a tiny silver pitcher of cream. Reese poured cream in, stirring until her coffee was the color of a light wood. “Well, I used to hear that you were a bad boy. Now I hear you have a girlfriend, but I’m not sure I believe the rumors.”
“Depends on whether you’ve heard that my girlfriend is a blonde or a hot brunette.”
Reese smiled. “Hot, huh?”
Sterling touched her hand on the table. “Very. But you know that it’s not just your looks that hooked me. You want to know when I started to fall for you?”
Fall for you. Those words made her almost giddy. She could hardly believe this was her life. “Tell me.”
“It was when we had that meeting to go over all my social media stuff.”
Managing The Rock Star (Not So Bad Boys Book 1) Page 19