"Well, I had gone out to lunch with a couple of ladies from the office and I had leftovers. Thought I'd bring them to you so you could munch on them," Vicky said and pulled out a Styrofoam container from her bag, setting it down on the desk.
Alison tried not to exhale a heavy sigh. "Vicky, I just ate and I'm not going to eat another full meal between lunch and dinner tonight. Most people don't do that."
Vicky frowned at her. "You're not most people, Alison."
This time, Alison did sigh. As if she needed anymore reminders of that – especially from Vicky. To her older sister, it didn't matter if Alison was to gain another hundred pounds. This was all Alison was going to be and it would never matter what she did or how healthy she became. Vicky probably wouldn't be satisfied until Alison ate herself to death.
Without a word, Alison went to her desk and opened the top drawer, pulling out a small journal with a blue leather cover. "I haven't written down what I had for lunch just now but you can still see the past few days," she held out the food journal to her but Vicky didn't take it. "Go on. Since you think I'm not eating enough-"
"I never said you weren't eating enough," Vicky said and Alison almost laughed because that was exactly what she was saying without coming right out with it.
"Alison?"
Both sisters whipped their heads around and Alison felt her eyes widen slightly with surprise when she saw Yuriel standing in the doorway of Martin's office.
"Was wonderin' if you could help me," he said and jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards the office behind him. "That guy is comin' at one and I can't find his invoice from the last time he was here to see what I did."
If Alison could have kissed him right then and there, she would have. All of the past invoices were filed and stored in the tall file cabinet by her desk but Vicky didn't know that and Yuriel had just presented her with the perfect out.
She nodded and gave him a smile and hoped he was able to see the gratitude but she knew that he probably could. Yuriel was able to see everything.
"Of course," she said to him and then looked back to Vicky. "I have to get back to work," she told her.
Vicky looked at her for a long moment and then finally nodded her head. "I'll see you at home tonight. Maybe one of the other guys will want that," she gestured towards the leftover container on the desk and then without a word, she turned and left and a minute later, they saw her car drive away.
Alison instantly deflated, expelling a great breath and nearly collapsing down in her chair. She jabbed her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands, trying to calm her heart down and get her breathing regulated. She heard Yuriel move and when she lifted her head again, she saw him sitting down in one of the chairs against the wall.
"Thank you for that," she said and he gave his head a single nod, his eyes set on her.
"She always like that?" He asked.
Alison sighed softly and nodded, looking down to her journal on the desk. "Always. And… and I understand why. My daddy and brother can be like that, too, but they trust me for the most part. Vicky… I don't think she'll ever trust me again. She was the one… I used to hide food under my bed. Plates and bowls of food and I was telling everyone that I was eating but Vicky was the one who found all of the food."
Yuriel didn't say anything and she knew that he probably had no idea what to say to that and she didn't know why she had just told him that. She didn't tell anyone anything about what she had done or what it had been like for her and her family.
She wished she knew what to say to him after that but she had blown it by talking about her eating disorder and she may not have known much about guys but she knew that that wasn't one thing to talk with about to guys.
She shifted in her chair and avoided looking at him and she took a pen, opening her journal to that day's date and writing down everything she had eaten for lunch beneath what she had eaten for breakfast. And once she was done, she stood up and went to the file cabinet. She could feel his eyes on her but he still didn't say anything. It took her a moment but she then located the folder and pulled out the latest invoice, turning and extending it towards him.
"Here you go," she said softly and tried to give him a smile.
Yuriel stood up and took the paper from her, glancing down to it. "This guy has the worst luck with cars," he said and it helped her smile a little easier.
They heard other cars pulling into the parking lot and then the shouts and laughter as the other guys started coming back from lunch. Alison couldn't help but feel disappointed. No matter how much time she spent with Yuriel, she felt like it was never enough. She wondered how much time with him would satisfy her. She wondered if he ever though the same thing about her but she knew that wasn't a thought she shouldn't torture herself with by having.
Zach entered the office instead of going through the bay doors and he grinned at Alison. Alison smiled shyly in return. She liked Zach for the most part. He reminded her of so many boys she had known throughout her life. He was good-looking and outgoing and had dozens of friends and always needed to be right in the middle of it. He was always inviting her to this or to that but she always declined. She liked Zach but she didn't like him and she knew that spending time with him would be exhausting. He was one of those people who always had to be "on". She had grown to prefer a man who was just as quiet as her. A man who could spend an evening at home… reading books or hunting in the woods and she looked at Yuriel from the corner of her eye, still standing next to her but having visibly stiffened.
"Hi, Alison," Zach smiled at her.
"Hi," she smiled faintly in return.
"Brought you something," he said and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a half of a Twix candy bar.
"Thank you," she said, still smiling and she took it from him.
"You got plans tonight?" Zach asked, leaning a bit into the desk, his eyes never leaving her and his smile never leaving his face.
"I do actually, I'm sorry," she said, apologizing as she always did whenever he invited her out although she was never really sorry about it. Still, he didn't have to know that and there was no reason not to be polite to him. He was perfectly nice.
"There's always tomorrow," Zach grinned wider and then gave her a quick wink before turning and heading into the garage.
Alison looked down at the Twix bar in her hand.
"Thought you didn' like caramel," Yuriel grunted from beside her.
"I don't," she shook her head, tilting it up and looking at him. "But there's no reason why Zach would know that. Would you like it?" She asked, offering it out to him.
"Wasn' meant for me," Yuriel shook his head.
He walked away from her then and she set the candy bar down on top of the Styrofoam container. She didn't even know what Vicky had brought her but whatever it was, she would offer it to Martin when he got back from the lunch hour. She sat down in her chair again and was slightly startled when Yuriel suddenly appeared in front of the desk.
"Wanna go for a ride after work?" He asked, staring down at her.
She loved his eyes. They were blue but not like hers. His were light, almost milky, and they were always so sharp. Nothing ever escaped his attention. She wondered if he knew of her feelings towards him. She tried to hide them but she knew she wasn't the best at keeping them to herself. She feared she was always so obvious around him but if he had figured it out, why wasn't he running away? Why was he inviting her for rides on his motorcycles and spending more time together? She couldn't imagine a man like Yuriel being interested in her in return. He was older and wouldn't he go for women closer to his own age and with half of the issues she had?
"Yes," she didn't even hesitate.
She didn't think about her family or dinner or making Vicky happy and keeping the peace. She just thought of being on the back of Yuriel's bike, her arms around his waist and her cheek against his back and the wind on her skin.
He smiled then – just a little one but she caught it
instantly and she broke out into one of her own. He gave a nod and this time, she watched him go into the garage. She counted to ten before she picked up the phone and dialed home.
"Hello?" Lawrence answered on the third ring.
"Hi, daddy," Alison greeted, still smiling, and she knew he could probably hear it from over the phone.
"Alisony!" Lawrence was smiling, too, and he sounded as if he hadn't heard from her in years. "Everything alright?"
"Everything's good," Alison said and her eyes floating to the windows to see the other guys in the garage, her gaze settling on Yuriel. "So… Yuriel asked me to go on another ride with him on his motorcycle tonight after work."
"Oh?" Lawrence asked, trying to sound nonchalant, and Alison wanted to laugh.
He was the only one to know about Yuriel, she having confided in him about the man one night when Alison was in the barn after another argument with Vicky. She was brushing down Nellie – sometimes, her horse being the only thing able to comfort her – and she saw her daddy enter on his crutches. It still sometimes caught her off guard, seeing him with only one leg and she wondered if she would ever get used to it. Lawrence settled himself on a bale of hay and Alison kept brushing and didn't say anything, knowing that Lawrence came out there to be the one to speak.
"She loves you, Alisony," Lawrence said.
Alison nodded and swallowed the thickness in her throat. "I know."
"She's just scared for you."
Again, she nodded. "I know." She stilled the brush for a moment and then sighed softly, looking at him. "I just wish Vicky could treat me like how you or Shawn or Yuriel treat me. Like I'm Alison."
Lawrence studied her for a moment and then raised an eyebrow. "Who's Yuriel?"
Alison instantly broke into a blush and quickly lowered her eyes to the ground. She almost denied it. She almost shook her head and insist that Yuriel wasn't anyone even though Lawrence would know she was lying.
She fiddled with the brush in her hands. "He… he's a mechanic at the garage and he…" He's wonderful, she bit down on her tongue and she slowly lifted her eyes to look at her daddy, Lawrence looking at her, looking as if he wanted to smile. "He treats me like I'm not seconds away from breaking."
Lawrence smiled then as Alison could hear him smiling now from over the phone.
"Make sure you eat dinner," Lawrence said but unlike if Vicky had said the same thing, Alison just nodded and smiled a little because he got it. He knew that this was important to her.
Yuriel and going on these rides and being away from the house, it was good for her. And Alison wondered if Vicky would ever get that, too, if Alison was ever to tell her about it. Was this even something that had to be told? She wasn't even entirely sure what they were doing or why Yuriel was inviting her but all she did know, she thought as she kept watching him through the windows, that she really only felt like smiling when she was around him and she wondered if he was able to see that.
Chapter Ten.
He wanted to kiss her. Badly. Probably more than he had wanted to do something in his life. He wanted to kiss her and tangle his fingers in that long hair of hers and he couldn't remember the last girl he wanted to kiss like that. He didn't think there had ever been a girl who made him want all sorts of things like Alison Silver.
After the garage was closed and they left for the night, Alison's arms were back around his waist and her cheek was against his shoulder blade and he drove them away, cutting through the darkness, not heading towards his trailer this time but just driving because he didn't want this ride with her to end anytime soon.
He hadn't planned on asking her for another ride so soon after the last one but he had stood there and watched Zach as the kid smiled and flirted with Alison and she had smiled back because Alison was too polite not to smile back and Yuriel could hardly stand any of it. He hated the way Zach smiled at her; like she was ice cream on a too hot day and Zach wanted to lick her up. Yuriel wondered how he smiled at her. He didn't smile but with her, he had felt his lips twitch more than once and when Alison Green smiled, it was like the sun coming out after a rainstorm. Did he smile at her like that? Like she was the sun? Or like she was an ice cream cone?
He told himself that he wasn't jealous – especially of some annoying kid like Zach. A kid closer to Alison's age than him. Zach didn't stand a chance with Alison. She may have smiled at him but he was able to see that she wasn't interested in him. Yuriel had to remind himself that she wasn't interested in him, either, and he stood as much of a chance as Zach did. She had called him her friend and wasn't looking to screw any kind of friendship up that he had with her.
He wanted to kiss her but he knew he wasn't going to because she looked to him as a friend and friends just didn't go around, kissing each other when one had showed absolutely no interest in the other doing that. He didn't know what Alison did to him because he never thought about a girl like this. He honestly never thought about girls at all. That always had been more of Carlos's thing. His older brother lived to flirt and hook up with anyone of the opposite sex who crossed his path and struck his interest. He had been able to change over the past few years but Yuriel knew his brother would still probably flirt up a storm if he was ever to meet Alison. Not that there was a reason for Carlos and Alison ever to meet.
The thought made him frown because he had tried so hard to stay away from Alison Silver and now, all he wanted to do every day was find a reason to talk with her.
He saw a gas station ahead and he began to slow down, pulling into the lot and coming to a stop beside one of the pumps. Alison slid off first and he followed. She was taking her hair down and putting it up into a ponytail again and she smiled faintly at him when she saw him watching her. He looked at her, studied her, and he tried to imagine the girl she used to be. The girl who hid food underneath the bed. He didn't understand a person who willingly starved themselves and not for the first time, he wondered if he should go back to the library and get that book from Mary Jane.
She stood nearby as he put more gas into the tank, humming a soft song that he didn't recognize and looking up at the few stars visible in the black night sky. He told himself that he was being creepy, looking at her all of the time, and he kept his eyes focused on the numbers of his total as they ticked upwards.
He had no idea where it came from but he suddenly found himself thinking of his mom and old man. He never understood how his mom had fallen for a guy like Will Salas and he wondered if it had been normal for them once; almost like this. If his dad had actually liked her and had gone after her like a guy did when he liked a girl. Had they done this? Spent time together and when they weren't together, Will thinking about her all of the time?
Yuriel shook his head at how stupid he was being. His dad was the meanest son of a bitch he had ever met and had beaten his wife and kids every day, Yuriel carrying the scars on his back to prove it. The man hadn't known how to love anyone except himself and Yuriel was sure the man had passed that down to his sons. Yuriel didn't know the first thing about love or even basic human emotions. He looked at Alison and knew she wasn't like that; knew she didn't have a mean bone in her body and probably didn't even know how to hate anything in this world.
The tank was full and he put the gas cap on one more. "Wanna get somethin' to eat?" He asked and she looked away from the stars to look at him and she nodded with the damn small smile of hers that made the back of his neck itch. "Come on then," he said and began walking towards the gas station, Alison skipping a couple of steps to catch up and walk at his side.
He reached the door first and held it open for her and followed her in to see that they were the only ones in there besides the clerk working. Alison looked around at all of the junk food lining the shelves and then looked at him.
"Gas stations got your four food groups," he said, stepping forward and she followed him. He grabbed a bag of Funyuns and a Hostess cherry fruit pie. "Fruits and vegetables," he said and almost smiled when he handed them to her and she g
iggled. He grabbed a loaf of Wonder white bread. "Grain." He went to another aisle. "Meat." He handed her a stick of beef jerky.
"And dairy," she smiled, playing along, holding up the pack of jerky that also came with a few small blocks of cheddar cheese.
She was smiling so wide and laughing still and she held their dinner in her arms. He looked at her and she looked so damn pretty, standing with him in a gas station beneath the harsh fluorescent lighting, smiling up at him as if she didn't want to be anywhere else in the world right then.
And he wanted to kiss her.
The urge was tightening in his stomach, rising up his chest as if it was going to make him throat up, and he forced himself to look away from her then. He rubbed the back of his neck and wished that there was anything that could offer him a distraction right then because he was about to do something stupid he wouldn't be able to take back and it would just ruin whatever the hell this thing was between them.
If Alison noticed anything strange from him, she didn't act like it and she shifted all of the food in her arms. "This is a regular feast," she said, looking down at what he had chosen and he wondered if she would actually eat a single of those things if he was to buy it all. Girls like her didn't eat from gas stations. "You want to hear something?" She looked at him and lowered her voice as if to reveal the secret location of the fountain of youth and he saw the way her eyes were sparkling. "I have never tried a Funyun."
He actually cracked a smile at that, taking the yellow bag from her arm. "Well, then you haven' truly lived yet, girl."
He went to the counter and Alison giggled, following behind. She placed the rest of the food on the counter and Yuriel grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. As the clerk rang everything up, he watched her as she turned a display of cheap sunglasses and he smirked as she slid on a yellow pair, the lenses too big for her face, and when she looked at her reflection in the warped mirror, she smiled, thinking the same thing.
Honka Honka (Honk Series Book 1) Page 7