Debt

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Debt Page 21

by Nina G. Jones


  My dominion over Mia has shifted from one of destruction to one of guardianship. She is willingly giving herself to me, and now I must make sure nothing happens to her under my watch. I have become her dark knight.

  Mia’s not trying to change me, and that is what is so incredible about her. In fact, she wants all of me as I am. I have never had that with a woman before. I have only used fragments of my identity to achieve my goal: sex, money, or domination. But Mia craves that dark side of me, a carnal side that devours as it fucks. And yet, she brings out a side of me that wants to safeguard, to share, to express. The more I do of the latter, the more she craves the former. The shadows cannot exist without the light. For fourteen years I have only lurked in the pitch black corners of my psyche. Mia pulls me out even if it’s just to peer out of the dark and remember what it was like to bask in the glow of something good. And Mia gets to peer into her own dark corners with me. For so long, I kept to one end of that dichotomy, not allowing myself the full spectrum of heat that comes with someone who makes you feel safe enough to become truly dangerous.

  Mia’s affection doesn’t change that I am a psychopath, but it gives my urges a purpose, a way to be productive, not just destructive. For the first time I have met someone who makes me want to be uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to care about anyone enough to put myself in the unsettling position of growth.

  In Jude’s defense, all of my accusations towards Jude were just as much about me. We have the money, the satisfaction of revenge. And then what? None of us are even thirty yet. I couldn’t just dissolve into everyday life. My life is revenge. My life is rage. I had nothing to look forward to. But now, for me, it’s Mia. She has given me something to see beyond the singular goal of vengeance. When she has my child, she may ironically be the key to helping heal Jude. I can grow past this, become something more than a murderous con artist. She is a miracle: loving enough to care for an asshole like me, and yet she has dark urges of her own.

  It’s come full circle: the girl who set me on the path of destruction can be my redemption.

  I wait in the darkness of Mia’s living room. Some things won’t ever change. She’s been away at work all day, and the distance makes me crave her, and the cravings morph into something dark when she’s not around to temper them right away. She was looking for this. She was desperate for it when I found her.

  When I think about Mia, I start to feel something warm, and it makes me angry when she makes me feel. So I have to put that rage back onto her. Make her feel the helplessness I feel when I think of her and can’t have her.

  I know, I’m fucked up. There are times I can give it to her less than savagely, but there are days like this, when it builds up so quickly, like a flash flood, and I can only express it by tearing her to shreds.

  Her keys jingle in the lock and I salivate, tasting her essence on my tongue, like a junkie about to get a fix. I rise to my feet and wait for her in the shadows. I want to feel her flinch in those first moments of panic, followed by her muscles melting in submission.

  She sighs as she dumps her bag on the floor beside the entrance and kicks off her shoes. I inhale her flowery clean scent as she feels around for a light.

  She turns on a small lamp that gives her just enough light to look at her phone and she types something, holding a small grin on her face.

  My phone chimes seconds later. She whips her head around with a look of shock on her face and before she can let out a peep, I wrap my hand around her mouth.

  “Shhhh...don’t fight me,” I whisper into her ear. She melts. My cock rages.

  I slide my hand up her trembling stomach and squeeze her plump breast. “This is mine,” I grunt. “Your cunt...is mine. I take it when I want. My perfect little slut.”

  She curves back into me, just like the first night I had her in this house. My dick pulses with need as I recall the images of my cock sliding into her pussy, like my own personal porn.

  “I’ve been thinking about your pussy creaming around my cock all day.”

  I pull up her t-shirt, push her bra cups down and roughly twirl her nipples in my fingers. She lets out a deep sigh of relief. “I’m going to leave my marks on your tits tonight. So fucking round and pure. I need to ruin them. I want them to ache tomorrow. I want you feel my bites tomorrow and your pussy to cream when you remember how I’m about to fuck you.”

  “Tax...” she murmurs, rubbing her tight ass against my cock. It aches, pestering me to take quick relief in her mouth or pussy. But, I also take pleasure in drawing this out for her.

  I whip her pants down and she groans from the burning friction. Her red thong screams secret kinky whore to me, and I slide my fat cock against the crease of her ass. If it was possible, I would put my dick in every single hole at once. I want to have every piece of her. My hips thrust against her ass, teasing her rear. I reach forward, exploring the creamy flesh.

  “Fuck,” she whispers. I slide in and then out, spreading her cream all over her pussy.

  “You’re always so ready for me,” I say.

  “Always,” she whispers, craning her neck towards me. I reach up and slide her bun loose, her feminine hair unravelling along her soft skin.

  My free hand grips a breast, the other hand fucks her, as I rub my cock against her supple ass. I grip her small frame tightly against me. If I squeezed hard enough, I could break her, ruin her. With such little work on my part, she cries out, convulsing in my arms. Her pussy soaks my hand. I love the way she comes, it sounds like she’s crying.

  “Your pussy is so fucking wet,” I say, using her juice to slick my cock. “Mia, you’ve been teasing me all day and you don’t even know it. It pisses me off to have to wait for you. And now you came too quickly, next time you need to wait.”

  I stroke my cock, layered with her wetness, against her ass until I have to stop lest I come before entering her.

  “Lie on the floor.” She bows in front of me and lies back, like a good girl.

  I stand in front of her, pull off my shirt and kick off my pants and underwear, and her eyes flare with heat.

  I roll the tip of my cock along her nipples, enjoying the look of surrender on her face as they harden.

  A drop of pre-cum surfaces. “Lick.”

  She complies, running her sexy tongue at the tip of my head, taking in my taste. She licks her lips looking right into my eyes. Fuuuuck. She used to look away, full of shame, but I’ve trained her not to feel that. She loves being dirty for me, there’s no shame in that.

  I mount her, slapping my weighty cock against her entrance and clit, taunting her.

  “Beg.”

  “Please fuck me, Tax,” she groans.

  That’s all I need today. Shit, I am about two seconds from begging her my damned self. I plunge inside her pussy, the slick fleshiness is so tight, I roll my eyes back as my dick is overcome with sensation. Her fat tits beg to be brutalized, and I bite the pale flesh. Each of her gasps make my cock flicker with arousal.

  She calls my name, her tone pleading for me to stop and continue. The way the smooth meat of her breast compacts under my teeth fills my blood with heat. I slap my pelvis against her, wanting to wound her with my cock.

  “You’re gonna feel me for days Mia. Whenever you shift in your seat, touch it to clean yourself, you are going to remember that I own your pussy. I own those fucking tits. It’s my cum that fills you.”

  She calls out with abandon, her innocent face marred by the curse words that flow so effortlessly out of her flushed lips. I fucking love turning her into my filthy little whore. I thrust ragefully, her opening clenching around my swollen shaft with each exit and entry. I gnaw at her breasts, the flesh now covered in welts and teeth marks.

  My instinct is to pull out and cum all over her tits, ruin them further with my cum, but Plan C is getting in the way of that. I’ll have to save that for another time and enjoy the clench of her silky pussy around my cock.

  She calls out for God, and I know she’s close. I look d
own and watch my dick enter her over and over, and the way it glistens with her cream, thick from arousal. Being a voyeur to my cock plunging in her cunt, watching it bloom for me, like a pinkish flower, the swollen and battered lips receiving me so enthusiastically, takes me over the edge.

  I grunt as I plunge into her as deeply as I can, my cock pulsating with violent pleasure, releasing into her pussy as its walls contract around me. I grip the rug underneath her, wanting to rip something to shreds as her pussy rips the cum out of my cock.

  We lie on the floor on Mia’s rumpled shag rug. This thing must have more bodily fluids on it at this point than a bed at the local Motel 9.

  Mia traces her finger along my lips.

  “You have the most amazing lips,” she says in a woozy voice.

  “So do you,” I say, rubbing her soft pussy. “I think it’s so fucking hot that you lie here with my cum still in you.”

  “I like having a some of you inside of me,” she says with a smile. “I didn’t expect you to visit tonight, but it was an awesome surprise, well, after the mini-coronary.”

  “My cock won’t stop pestering me. It’s really fucking annoying.”

  “I bet,” she says lazily.

  “I thought you liked the mini-coronaries.”

  “Oh, I do, Mr. Draconi. A rush like no other. Is it the same for you?”

  I grin, thinking about the dark joy I feel in my sexual aggression. “I think the answer to that is obvious.”

  “Quite the match.”

  “Quite,” I say, running my finger over a faint red mark on her breast. “How was work?” I ask. Usually as soon as I ask anyone that kind of question, I tune out, but I actually want to hear about her day. This whole giving a shit thing is so bizarre.

  “It was good. Having Laney do a lot was a good idea. It helped me realize I need to delegate more or I’ll end up burning out. Alea didn’t go down in flames just because I stepped back for a bit. Dewey was good at that. He trusted us, so I am going to make sure I do the things I need to do and trust the staff enough not to meddle unless necessary.”

  “It sounds like you are getting the hang of it,” I say. My original intention in purchasing Alea was to shut it down. I didn’t care about the millions thrown away to do it. I considered it the purchase price for the satisfaction of destroying Mia’s hard work. But now that I see a possible future with Mia, I want to see Alea succeed and grow with her as its leader. Strictly from a business standpoint, there is no one else I would want to run that company.

  “Yeah, we even signed up a few new distributors at the convention. So that’s makes the whole thing well worth it. More distribution, more profits.” Hell, that was kind of sexy, the way she purred that business jargon like a hot little shark.

  “I believe I made a wise investment.”

  “Yes you did, Tax. I may be a fuckup in my personal life, but if there is one thing I am great at, it’s my job.” That’s one thing we definitely have in common.

  “I don’t believe I have told you this all the time we have been seeing each other, but that’s something that impressed me about you. No matter what was happening, you were resilient. You showed up to work every day and ran a multimillion dollar company. No one would have even noticed you might be going through something. That takes an enormous amount of poise.”

  “Wow...thank you. That means a lot to me.”

  She traces her finger down my torso, along my scars. Blood. Boots. The stench of piss. Mocking laughter. Anger towards Mia starts to form, and I thread her fingers in mine to divert her attention away from the rejection.

  Eventually, I will have to tell her who I am. There is no way around it. I don’t want to tell her, because I don’t want to hate her. But when I think about that day, no matter who the Mia is in front of me now, no matter what her intentions might have been by setting me up, that dark hate, finely cultivated over fourteen years, petrified and dark, outweighs and overshadows anything good. I am afraid depending on her reaction, I may snap. I could lose it all. I wish I could go back and never mention the debt. I could have done this all without rubbing that in, and I could just be Tax Draconi, sadistic asshole turned not-as-sadistic asshole. But it’s too late, she won’t tolerate not knowing forever. Especially, if Plan C comes to fruition.

  The only way I can enjoy Mia is not to think about that day, to think about her as a separate person than the one I have been scheming to torture and kill. But once I make it known to her who I am, and I remind her of what she did, I won’t be able to shove that image of her into that dark crevasse of my memory. She will have to answer for it. The present Mia and the past Mia will become one and can never be separated again.

  “Thank you, for taking care of Alea, babe,” I say, trying to combat my own seething anger clawing its way through my chest.

  “Mmmm, I love when you call me that. And I love the way you say my name when you’re horny. Miiia,” she says in a mock-husky voice. The boil turns to a simmer. Just stay present, I tell myself.

  “I’m a fan of you saying my name when I’m fucking you. But, I think you already know that...”

  “Oh yes, you make that abundantly clear you kinky bastard. And it’s my pleasure to say it, Mr. Tax Draconi...Draconi? What is that?”

  “Romanian.”

  “Romanian? How exotic! I am lying on the chest of a hot Romanian guy? Hmm...” She kisses my chest. “I knew someone who was Romanian...”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, but I think he was only half, because his last name was boring. It was James I think.”

  She remembers.

  “Doesn’t sound Romanian to me.”

  “No, I think it was just his mom. His first name though...it was something more exotic...well it was Sil...but it was short for something. Sil...Silvo...Silvio! That’s it: Silvio James. He always went by Sil though. We were lab partners.”

  I take a deep breath to keep cool. She doesn’t sound like someone who holds any guilt for hurting Sil—me.

  “Lab partners? Fucking nerd.”

  “Shut it. Yeah, well, we were becoming friends but...yeah now that I think about it, it was really weird. He just up and vanished one day.”

  “Vanished?” My tactic right now is to get her to confess, and the easiest way to do that is to let her keep talking. If she can show me true remorse, I can work with that.

  “I’m remembering now...It was really weird. We had this huge project that took weeks to complete. He would come over a few nights a week, and we would work on the project and hang out. He was so thin and gangly. I don’t think he realized, but I would see him sneaking extra food into his backpack in the cafeteria. He was poor and I think his father may have been abusive. My dad mentioned he had a drinking problem.

  “So whenever he came over, I would always pretend I was hungry after school and make pizza, and give him tons of snacks. Then I would ask him to take the leftovers home, saying I didn’t want them so he and his twin sister could have more to eat.”

  The revelation causes a sinking feeling in my chest. She always made me feel so comfortable that it never occurred to me, she was making food just to feed Jude and me. Feelings. I hate when she makes me feel.

  “That was kind of you. You mentioned he vanished?”

  “Well, the last time I saw him, he gave me what I think were lab notes. But I lost them like an idiot. I think they fell out of my pocket on the way home. Anyway, the next day was the day my mother died unexpectedly. Well, we knew she was sick, but I didn’t get to say goodbye or anything. Actually I remember it vividly, because you don’t forget those moments. I was walking down the hall, and I saw him in the distance. I was going to let him know that I lost the notes and apologize, but the principal called me into her office and my dad...he was in there with this look on his face...and I knew...” Her voice drifts as she relives that moment.

  I remember her hidden fear, how she giggled with her friends, but when she and I were alone, there was an aura of sadness about her. She would
try to have fun, dance, act silly because she didn’t like to linger on the gloom. But she saw my sadness, and she felt safe sharing hers with me, even if it was only for brief moments.

  “It was hard, my dad took me right out of school. Well, snuck me out so people wouldn’t see me crying.”

  Oh fuck.

  “So you never found those notes or whatever it was?”

  “Nope and I felt so bad because he probably needed them back for the presentation. I didn’t return for a week, leaving him to present the project alone. When I came back and tried to find him to apologize for leaving him stranded without the materials he needed, he was gone. My dad said his dad picked up and moved the family. That was that. I was kind of upset that he didn’t say goodbye, but I felt silly, we only really knew each other for a few weeks. We hadn’t so much as uttered a word to each other before becoming lab partners.”

  No. No. No.

  “That’s...a shame.”

  “Ya know, I wondered about him for a while. He was so different from everyone else. In our town there was a certain way you had to be, and if you fell out of that narrow box, then it was tough. Especially in high school. I guess I was lucky enough not to stand out, but I like interesting people from all walks of life. If you had looked at him, he might have been somewhat intimidating: gaunt, tall, long black hair, he wore a lot of black and chains. Sometimes he wore these terrifying contacts.” She laughs to herself. “But as soon as I got to know him, he was a softie. I liked spending time with him. He exposed me to new things, and I liked that he didn’t conform even though he was bullied. He was really smart too. He was a year below me, but was the same science class as me, which would have been two levels above his grade. So despite his circumstances at home, I am sure he’s living a good life. Actually, that Radiohead cd I have up there, he gave it to me. He introduced me to a lot of music I would not have known of otherwise. I guess I learned from him how people can be so different from what they might appear to be on the outside. I didn’t get a lot of exposure to diversity growing up.”

 

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