by Otto Penzler
Mattie had never felt so lonely in her life. Despite all the years she and Don had lived in Moss Harbor, there was no one in her local circle whom she could trust in any sort of intimate crisis, let alone with something like a death threat. Suzanne or Eileen? Out of the question—things like that simply did not happen to members of the Bridge Group. There was Virginia, of course . . . Virginia might very well believe her, if anyone did, but would be bound to fall apart under the burden of such knowledge. That left only going further afield and contacting Patricia.
Pat Gallagher lived directly across the bay, in a tiny incorporated area called Witness Point. Mattie had known her very nearly as long as she had known Virginia, but the relationships could not have been more different. Pat was gay, for one thing; and while Mattie voted for every same-sex-marriage and hate-crimes proposition that came up on any ballot, she was honest enough to know that she was ill at ease with homosexuals. She could never explain this, and was truly ashamed of it, especially around someone as intelligent and thoughtful as Pat Gallagher. She found balance in distance, only seeing Pat two or three times a year, at most, and sometimes no more than once. They did e-mail a reasonable amount though, and they talked on the phone enough that Mattie still knew the number by heart. She called it now.
They arranged to meet at Pat’s house for lunch on the weekend. She lived in a shingly, flowery, cluttery cottage, in company with a black woman named Babs, an administrator at the same hospital where Pat was a nurse. Mattie liked Babs immediately, and was therefore doubly nervous around her, and doubly shamed, especially when Babs offered in so many words to disappear graciously, so that she and Pat could talk in private. Mattie would have much preferred this, but the very suggestion made it impossible. “I’m sure there’s nothing I have to say to Patricia that I couldn’t say to you.”
Babs laughed. “That you may come to regret, my dear.” But she set out second glasses of pinot grigio, and second bowls of Pat’s minestrone, and sat down with them. Her dark-brown skin and soft curly hair contrasted so perfectly with Pat’s freckled Irish pinkness and they seemed so much at ease with one another that Mattie felt a quick, startling stitch of what could only have been envy.
“Okay,” Pat said. “Talk. What’s got you scared this time?”
Babs chuckled. “Cuts straight to the chase, doesn’t she?”
Mattie bridled feebly. “You make it sound as though I’m a big fraidy cat, always frightened about something. I’m not like that.”
“Yes, you are.” The affection in Pat’s wide grin took some of the sting from the words. “You never call me unless something’s really got you spooked, do you realize that? Might be a thing you saw on the news, a hooha with your husband, a pain somewhere there shouldn’t be a pain. Maybe a lump you’re worried about—maybe just a scary dream.” She put her hand on Mattie’s hand. “It’s fine, it’s you. Talk. Tell.”
She and Babs remained absolutely silent while Mattie told them about the Bridge Group, and about Olivia Korhonen. She was aware that she was speaking faster as the account progressed, and that her voice was rising in pitch, but all she wanted was to get the words out as quickly as she could. The words seemed strangely reluctant to be spoken: more and more, they raked at her throat and palate as she struggled to rid herself of them. When she was done, the roof of her mouth felt almost burned, and she gratefully accepted a glass of cold apple juice from Babs.
“Well,” Pat said finally. “I don’t know what I expected to hear from you, but that was definitely not it. Not hardly.”
Babs said grimly, “What you have there is a genuine, certified stalker. I’d call the cops on her in a hot minute.”
“How can she do that?” Pat objected. “The woman hasn’t done anything! No witnesses, not one other person who heard what she said—what she keeps on saying. They’d laugh in Mattie’s face, if they didn’t do worse.”
“It does sound such a silly story,” Mattie said wretchedly. “Like a paranoiac, somebody with a persecution complex. But it’s true, I’m not making it up. That’s just exactly the way it’s been happening.”
Pat nodded. “I believe you. And so would a jury, if it ever came to that. Anyone who spends ten minutes around you knows right away that you haven’t the first clue about lying.” She sighed, refilling Babs’s glass and her own but not Mattie’s. “Not you—you have to drive. And we wouldn’t want to frustrate little Ms. What’s-her-face, now would we?”
“That’s not funny,” Babs interrupted sharply. “That’s not a bit funny, Patricia.”
Pat apologized promptly and profusely, but Mattie was absurdly delighted. “You call her Patricia, too! I thought I was the only one.”
“Only way to get her attention sometimes.” Babs continued to glower at an extremely penitent Pat. “But she’s right about the one thing, anyway. Even if the cops happened to believe you, they couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Couldn’t slap a restraining order on the lady, couldn’t order her to stay x number of feet away from you. Not until . . .” She shrugged heavily, and did not finish the sentence.
“I know,” Mattie said. “I wasn’t expecting you two to . . . fix things. Be my bodyguards, or something. But I do feel a bit better, talking to you.”
“Now, if you were in the hospital”—Babs grinned suddenly and wickedly—“we really could bodyguard you. Between old Patricia and me, nobody’d get near you, except for the surfers we’d be smuggling in to you at night. You ought to think about it, Mattie. Safe and fun, both.”
Mattie was still giggling over this image, and a couple of others, when they walked her out to her car. As she buckled her seatbelt, Pat put a hand on her shoulder, saying quietly, “As long as this goes on every day, you call every day. Got that?”
“Yes, Mama,” Mattie answered. “And I’ll send my laundry home every week, I promise.”
The hand on her shoulder tightened, and Pat shook her a little more than slightly. “I mean it. If we don’t hear, we’ll come down there.”
“Big bad bull dykes on the rampage,” Babs chimed in from behind Pat. “Not pretty.”
It was true that she did feel better driving home: not at all drunk, just pleasantly askew, easier and more rested from the warmth of company than she had been in a long time. That lasted all the way to Moss Harbor, and almost to her front door. The almost part came when, parking the car at the curb, she heard a horn honk twice, and looked up in time to see an arm waving cheerfully back to her as Olivia Korhonen’s bright little Prius rounded a corner. Mattie sat in her car for a long time before she turned off the engine and got out.
Is she watching my house? Was she waiting for me?
She did not call Pat and Babs that night, even though she lay awake until nearly morning. Then, with Don gone to work, she forced herself to eat breakfast, and called Suzanne for Olivia Korhonen’s home telephone number. Once she had it in hand, she stalled over a third cup of coffee, and then a fourth, before she finally dialed the number and waited through several rings, consciously hoping to hear the answering machine click on. But nothing happened. She was about to break the connection when she heard the receiver being picked up and Ms. Korhonen’s cool, unmistakable voice said, “Yes? Who is this, please?”
Mattie drew a breath. “It’s Mattie Whalen. From the Bridge Group, you remember?”
If she has the gall to even hesitate, stalking me every single day . . . But the voice immediately lifted with delight. “Yes, Mattie, of course I remember, how not? How good to hear from you.” There was nothing in words or tone to suggest anything but pleasure at the call.
“I was wondering,” Mattie began—then hesitated, listening to Olivia Korhonen’s breathing. She said, “I thought perhaps we might get together—maybe one day this week?”
“To practice our bridge game?” Somewhat to Mattie’s surprise, Olivia Korhonen pounced on the suggestion. “Oh, yes. That would be an excellent idea. We could develop our own strategies—that is what the great players work on all the time, is
it not? Excellent, excellent, Mattie!” They arranged to meet at noon, two days from that date, at Olivia Korhonen’s condo apartment. She wanted to make cucumber sandwiches—“in the English style, I will cut the crusts off”—but Mattie talked her out of that, or thought she had. In her imagining of what she planned to say to Olivia Korhonen, there would be no room for food.
On the appointed day Mattie woke up in a cold sweat. She considered whether she might be providentially coming down with some sort of flu, but decided she wasn’t; then made herself a hot toddy in case she was, ate Grape-Nuts and yogurt for breakfast, went back to bed in pursuit of another hour’s nap, failed miserably, got up, showered, dressed, and watched Oprah until it was time to go. She made another hot toddy while she waited, on the off chance that the flu might be waiting, too.
The third-floor condo apartment turned out as tastefully dressy as Eileen and Suzanne had reported. Olivia Korhonen was at the door, smilingly eager to show her around. The rooms were high and airy, with indeed a good many paintings and prints, of which Mattie was no judge—they looked like originals—and a rather surprising paucity of furniture, as though Olivia Korhonen had not been planning for long-term residence. When Mattie commented on this, the blond woman only twinkled at her, saying, “The motto of my family is that one should always sink deep roots wherever one lives. Because roots can always be sold, do you see?” Later on, considering this, Mattie was not entirely certain what bearing it had on her question; but it sounded both sensible and witty at the time, in Olivia Korhonen’s musical voice.
Nevertheless, when Olivia Korhonen announced, “Now, strategy!” and brought out both the cards and the cucumber sandwiches, Mattie held firm. She said, “Olivia, I didn’t come to talk about playing cards.”
Olivia Korhonen was clearly on her guard in an instant, though her tone remained light. She set the tray of sandwiches down and said slowly, “Ah? Ulterior motives? Then you had probably better reveal them now, don’t you think so?” She stood with her head tipped slightly sideways, like an inquisitive bird.
Mattie’s heart was beating annoyingly fast, and she was very thirsty. She said, “You are stalking me, Olivia. I don’t know why. You are following me everywhere . . . and that thing you say every single time we meet.” Olivia Korhonen did not reply, nor change her expression. Mattie said, “Nobody else hears you, but I do. You whisper it—I will kill you. I hear you.”
Sleepless, playing variations on the scene over and over in her head the night before, she had expected anything from outrage and accusation to utter bewilderment to tearful, fervent denial. What happened instead was nothing she could have conceived of: Olivia Korhonen clapped her hands and began to laugh.
Her laughter was like cold silver bells, chiming a fraction out of tune, their dainty discordance more jarring than any rusty clanking could have been. Olivia Korhonen said, “Oh, I did wonder if you would ever let yourself understand me. You are such a . . . such a timorous woman, you know, Mattie Whalen—frightened of so very much, it is a wonder that you can ever peep out of your house, your little hole in the baseboard. Eyes flicking everywhere, whiskers twitching so frantically . . .” She broke off into a bubbling fit of giggles, while Mattie stared and stared, remembering girls in school hallways who had snickered just so.
“Oh, yes,” Olivia Korhonen said. “Yes, Mattie, I will kill you—be very sure of that. But not yet.” She clasped her hands together at her breast and bowed her head slightly, smiling. “Not just yet.”
“Why? Why do you want . . . what have I ever, ever done to you?”
The smile warmed and widened, but Olivia Korhonen was some time answering. When she did, the words came slowly, thoughtfully. “Mattie, where I come from we have a great many sheep, they are one of Finland’s major products. And where you have sheep, of course, you must have dogs. Oh, we do have many wonderful dogs—you should see them handle and guide and work the sheep. You would be so fascinated, I know you would.”
Her cheeks had actually turned a bit pink with what seemed like earnest enthusiasm. She said, “But Mattie, dear, it is a curious thing about sheep and dogs. Sometimes stray dogs break into a sheepfold, and then they begin to kill.” She did not emphasize the word, but it struck Mattie like a physical blow under the heart. Olivia Korhonen went on. “They are not killing to eat, out of hunger—no, they are simply killing blindly, madly, they will wipe out a whole flock of sheep in a night, and then run on home to their masters and their dog biscuits. Do you understand me so far, Mattie?”
Mattie’s body was so rigid that she could not even nod her head. Olivia’s softly chiming voice continued. “It is as though these good family dogs have gone temporarily insane. Animal doctors, veterinarians, they think now that the pure passivity, the purebred stupidity of the sheep somehow triggers—is that the right word, Mattie? I mean it like to set off—somehow triggers something in the dog’s brain, something very old. The sheep are blundering around in the pen, bleating in panic, too stupid to protect themselves, and it is all just too much for the dogs—even for sheepdogs sometimes. They simply go mad.” She spread her hands now, leaning forward, graceful as ever. “Do you see now, Mattie? I do hope you begin to see.”
“No.” The one word was all Mattie could force out between freezing lips. “No.”
“You are my sheep,” Olivia Korhonen said. “And I am like the dogs. You are a born victim, like all sheep, and it is your mere presence that makes you irresistible to me. Of course, dogs are dogs—they cannot ever wait to kill. But I can. I like to wait.”
Mattie could not move. Olivia Korhonen stepped back, looked at her wristwatch, and made a light gesture toward the door, as though freeing Mattie from a spell. “Now you had better run along home, dear, for I have company coming. We will practice our strategy for the Bridge Group another time.”
Mattie sat in her car for a long time, hands trembling, before she felt able even to turn the key in the ignition. She had no memory of driving home, except a vague awareness of impatient honking behind her when she lingered at intersections after the traffic light had changed. When she arrived home she sat by the telephone with her fingers on the keypad, trying to make herself dial Pat Gallagher’s number. After a time, she began to cry.
She did call that evening, by which time a curious calm, unlike any other she had ever felt, had settled over her. This may have been because by then she was extremely drunk, having entered the stage of slow but very precise speech, and a certain deliberate, unhurried rationality that she never seemed able to attain sober. Both Pat and Babs immediately offered to come and stay with her, but Mattie declined with thanks. “Not much point to it. She said she’d wait . . . said she liked waiting.” Her voice sounded strange in her own ears, and oddly new. “You can’t bodyguard me forever. I guess I have to bodyguard me. I guess I just have to.”
When she hung up—only after her friends had renewed their insistence that she call daily, on pain of home invasion—she did not drink any more, but sat motionless by the phone, waiting for Don’s return. It was his weekly staff-meeting night, and she knew he would be late, but she felt like sitting just where she was. If I never moved again, she’d have to come over here to kill me. And the neighbors would see. The phone rang once, but she did not answer.
Don came home in, for him, a cheerful mood, having been informed that his supervisor at the agency, whom he loathed, was being transferred to another branch. He had every expectation of a swift promotion. Mattie—or someone in Mattie’s body, shaping words with her still-cold lips—congratulated him, and even opened a celebratory bottle of champagne, though she drank none of her glass. Don began calling his friends to spread the news, and Mattie went into the kitchen to start a pot roast. The steamed fish with greens and polenta revolution had passed Don quietly by.
The act of cooking soothed her nerves, as it had always done; but the coldness of her skin seemed to have spread to her mind—which was not, when considered, a bad thing at all. There was a peculiar clarity t
o her thoughts now: both her options and her fears seemed so sharply defined that she felt as though she were traveling on an airplane that had just broken out of clouds into sunlight. I live in clouds. I always have.
Fork in one of his hands, cordless in the other, Don devoured two helpings of the roast and praised it in between calls. Mattie, nibbling for appearances’ sake, made no attempt to interrupt; but when he finally put the phone down for a moment she remarked, “That woman at the Bridge Group? The one who said she was going to kill me?”
Don looked up, the wariness in his eyes unmistakable. “Yeah?”
“She means it. She really means to kill me.” Mattie had been saying the words over and over to herself all afternoon; by now they came out briskly, almost casually. She said, “We discussed it for some time.”
Don uttered a cholesterol-saturated sigh. “Damn, ever since you started with that bridge club, feels like I’m running a daycare center. Look, this is middle-school bullshit, you know it and she knows it. Just tell her, enough with the bullshit, it’s getting real old. Or find yourself another partner, probably the best thing.” He had the cordless phone in his hand again.
The strange, distant Mattie said softly, “I’m just telling you.”
“And I’m telling you, get another partner. Silly shit, she’s not about to kill anybody.” He wandered off into the living room, dialing.
Mattie stood in the kitchen doorway, looking after him. She said—clearly enough for him to have heard, if he hadn’t already been talking on the phone—“No, she’s not.” She liked the sound of it, and said it again. “She’s not.” Then she went straight off to bed, read a bit of Chicken Soup for the Soul, and fell quickly asleep. She dreamed that Olivia Korhonen was leaning over her in bed, smiling widely and eagerly. There were little teeth on her tongue and small, triangular teeth fringing her lips.
Mattie got to the Bridge Group early the next afternoon and waited, with impatience that surprised her, for Olivia Korhonen to arrive. The Group met in a community building within sight of the Moss Harbor wharf, its windows fronting directly on the parking lot. Mattie was already holding the door open when Olivia Korhonen crossed the lot.