James looked past them. “Hey, Ray. Kumm.”
Ray’s insides wadded into a nervous ball. He usually avoided the girls, especially in this district. It was like they’d taken classes on being snooty. James motioned for him again, and he went to the wagon. “Excuse us.” James nodded at the girls. “We’ve got things to talk about.”
The girls looked Ray over, disregard evident on their faces, and he relaxed when they walked off. James bent his knee and propped one foot on the wagon. “I’ve been thinking about this thing with Yoder, and I got some ideas.”
Ray sat next to him. “What kind of ideas?”
“Good ones. The kind that could earn us some extra money.”
That sounded odd. “I can’t figure you out.” Sometimes Ray thought James had his best interest in mind. At other times it seemed James was trying to lead Ray into trouble. So which was it? “Why did you get involved between me and Yoder?”
“You were going to get caught, Ray. There was no way around that, so I got Van to jump in the middle and keep you from going to jail. If you want someone to pay for doing you wrong, you don’t smash his windows in broad daylight … or ever.”
“Ya, I got that one figured out.”
“You looking for revenge?”
The idea lured his emotions. “It’s crossed my mind, but it backfires every time.” And it hurt Jolene in the process. If it was true that his Mamm gave him the name Ray, what would she call him now?
“Maybe your definition of revenge is all wrong, Ray. There’s a saying I agree with—‘The best revenge is massive success.’ ”
“To me, success is not ruining something at work.”
“No, that’s coping with a job you hate. No wonder we mess up. Our minds and hearts ain’t in it, so while we’re escaping through daydreams, we make mistakes. But maybe if we did something we liked, we’d actually be good at it.”
“You’re not any good at being a blacksmith?”
“I’m okay. But the point is I hate it, and it shows.” James eased a wad of cash to the edge of his pocket and then shoved it back. “I got an idea, and if it pays off, we can give up these jobs we hate.”
“I’m not doing anything illegal ever again.”
“Gut.” James almost seemed to smile. “That’s a relief.”
So whatever the plan, it was legal, and James had the money to do it. Hmm. Ray liked the idea of being able to pay back the money Jolene had returned to Van. “Why not ask Urie or Alvin?”
“I could, but I’m keeping your secret about the smashed windows, and I thought maybe you’d keep mine.”
Ray’s gut told him to run. “I told Jolene everything.”
James’s eyes bugged out. “About us stealing the dogs too?”
Ray nodded. “Had to. It was eating me up inside.”
James sighed. “I guess it took guts to confess it, although if she was unsure of me before because I’m Van’s brother, she probably doesn’t think too much of me now. And she won’t like the idea of us earning money doing something unusual for Amish men. If we aren’t breaking the law, does she have to know what we’re up to?”
Something unusual? Ray’s heart skipped a beat. “Probably not. We keep good stuff from her—Christmas and birthday type things.”
“Ya, that’s what it’ll be like—keeping a good secret.” James showed Ray the money again. “Only if we don’t earn any money at it, it’ll be like sparing her feelings, right?”
“Ya, and I like that. So what are we doing?”
“It’s just a Saturday thing, but I met an Englisch guy a few weeks back, and he says if it’s done right, there’s good money in it.”
“What’s good—something that would give me enough to hire a driver to visit Teena?” He would have his regular paychecks, but he’d give all that money to Jolene until they paid back everyone she owed.
“Ya, I think so. If we don’t make enough in one Saturday, then we will in two.”
Earning extra money doing something with a friend sounded like a piece of heaven. “Tell me the plan.”
21
Church had been over for nearly two hours, and Jolene was ready to go home. Aunt Lydia drained water from her sink as Jolene dried the last few dishes. She hadn’t slept worth anything last night, and her mind continued to race with questions regarding what to do about Andy. She missed him already. Why did they have to be punished when his wife was the one who’d left? How trapped did he feel? She at least had the constant hope of finding the right man and marrying him. What did he have?
Besides entirely too much of her heart.
Another reason she wanted to leave early today was that she could feel Van and Donna watching her every move. Maybe Preacher Glen too. How many times had Donna approached her today, started to say something, and then was interrupted? Had Van told her and others about Jolene saying she wanted Andy to ask her out?
Women were all around them, talking and laughing while cleaning up from serving a hundred and forty people a simple meal. Children ran in and out as they played. The menfolk were in the living room, placing benches and folding chairs in a circle for the afternoon fellowship. The teens had scattered, some playing baseball in a field, some watching. Others had gone for buggy rides as a respectable way to get a bit of freedom from the adults. With Donna seeming determined to catch a moment to talk to her and Glen glancing Jolene’s way every little bit, she’d been tempted to hop in a rig with the teens and go for a joy ride. It had to be less embarrassing than remaining here wondering who knew about yesterday’s incident with Andy.
She hung the dishtowel on a hook and turned. Glen was heading toward her, an empty glass in hand. Maybe she should’ve told him and her family last night about the incident with Andy. As a potential man in her life, Glen was due no explanation since he’d yet to ask her out. But as her minister, he probably should have been told. While Glen tried to work his way toward the sink, people intercepted him, and he smiled politely and spoke to each one. He glanced at Jolene, and she turned to Lydia. “I’m pretty tired, so I won’t stay.”
“Okay.” Aunt Lydia hugged her. “It seems we hardly see you since Lester roped you into helping him full time.”
When gossip began swirling, close relatives were the last to hear it. Her aunt wouldn’t know that Jolene had shown interest in a married man. “I’ll come by later this week.” Should she simply return to her routine work that she’d done before Andy had arrived in Winter Valley? What had seemed a fine job this time last month sounded like lonely drudgery now.
While Glen was engaged in a conversation, Jolene eased around people and went out the back door. It was customary to say good-bye to the church leaders, their wives, and the host family, but Jolene wasn’t up to it today. She shielded her eyes from the glaring sun and looked for Hope and Ray as she went across the yard. It was unseasonably hot for the first of June, and she hoped it wasn’t a sign of the summer to come.
Ray and James were helping hitch someone’s horse to a carriage. She’d seen them talking a couple of times today, including during the meal. What kind of influence was James?
“Ray,”—she crossed the yard—“have you seen Hope?”
“She and some of the girls were in the hayloft playing with kittens last I saw.”
“Would you mind getting her and then hitching the rig?”
“We’re leaving already?”
She nodded and continued to walk until she was in the shadow of the barn.
“Gut.”
James looked unsure of himself as he gestured. “I can get your horse and hitch it up … if you don’t mind.”
“I would appreciate it, James. Denki.”
He looked pleased, perhaps relieved that she showed no wrath over his involvement with Ray’s theft of the dogs. It was all she could do to judge the motivations and behavior of Ray, Hope, and herself. She certainly wouldn’t venture into judging James, although being leery of his influence over Ray came naturally. But Ray wasn’t a child. If James
wasn’t a good friend, her brother had to figure that out for himself. She’d kept him close for a lot of years, needing him to mature before he bonded with others, but at eighteen years old if he couldn’t become friends with those raised in the Amish community, who could he be friends with?
“Hey, Jolene,” Glen called as he hurried toward her.
She paused. It wasn’t like him to be so bold as to call her out. Would this be enough to raise curiosity and cause some to hope they’d become a couple?
He hurried across the lawn and, once out of the sun, stopped short. “I … I wanted us to talk. Would it be okay if I came by your place tonight around six?”
Ah. He apparently had church business on his mind. Since he’d arrived for church service, he must have heard she made a pass at a married man. Did all the ministers wish to speak to her? “Just you?”
“Sure. If that’s what you prefer.”
Relief worked its way through her. If the church leaders felt the incident warranted more than one of them speaking to her, he wouldn’t be free to let her choose. “Your coming alone would be preferable.”
He smiled. “But last night with everyone around was quite enjoyable.”
She chuckled. He’d won a round of Scrabble based on the points in his word quite.
Perhaps the upside of Glen’s need to talk to her was that he now knew she’d wanted Andy to ask her out. Maybe he was only interested in being a good minister and a friend. He and his wife had come to her home at least once a month to lend a hand with whatever needed doing once Jolene began raising her siblings. Maybe that’s all he wanted now.
He reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He pulled out a tile to a Scrabble game and held it up. It had a Q on it, one of only two tiles with the highest point value.
“Preacher Glen,”—she used her best parental tone—“did you steal a tile?” Last night he kept magically coming up with Qs and knew so many ways to work them into words.
He shook his head, humor in his eyes and dimples showing above his dark beard as he squelched a smile. “I would never steal anything.” He held it out to her. “I would, however, bring extra items to your home. It is the charitable thing to do.”
She pursed her lips, muffling her laughter as she snatched it from him. She’d forgotten how easily he could make her laugh, regardless of the grief she carried. “You cheated.”
“No. During the game you clearly said all tiles in your home could be used, whether they came from that Scrabble box or another.”
This was a side of him she hadn’t seen in a really long time—fun loving, teasing. “But I only said that because you found a stray one on the floor. Was it a stray tile, or was it this one?”
“Both.”
“Both?” Had he brought a tile with him, knocked it onto the floor, and then called it a stray tile? “It sounds to me as if you have some confessing to do.”
“Then we will make it a night of being honest with each other.”
“Ah.” Was he trying to make her comfortable with her need to confess to him? If so, it was working. It wasn’t as if she’d done anything wrong. Her action had been a little bold, and among the Amish any gesture toward a married person was considered the sin of all sins, but she hadn’t known Andy was married. Since Glen was being the same warm and friendly man he’d been last night, maybe he understood the situation for what it was—a mistake on her part.
She tossed the tile in the air ever so slightly and grabbed it again. “I won’t be returning this. You can bank on that.”
Amusement danced across his face as he pulled another tile from his pocket and held it up. It had a Z on it, which was the other tile worth ten points. “I don’t need it back.”
She laughed and tried to snatch it from him.
In a flash he raised his hand out of her reach, grinning. “Oh no. When it comes to you and your ability to devise words, I need to keep an ace up my sleeve to prevent total humiliation.”
“Evidently you need a ten-point tile in your pocket.”
“Whatever.” He mocked a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “As long as I have the upper hand when it comes to winning.”
“Preacher Glen, you do know I can simply refuse to play the game with you ever again, right?”
Without a moment of hesitation, he threw the tile as far as he could, which wasn’t more than ten feet due to its lack of weight. He then pulled his pants pockets inside out. “No tiles.”
She chuckled. “It’s good to see some of the old Glen again.”
His smile faded, but the peace in his eyes did not. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, his attention focused behind her. “Van.” He nodded. “Donna.”
Jolene turned. They stood on a knoll in the blazing sun about twenty feet back, out of earshot, but clearly waiting for a break in the conversation. Donna had her hand resting on her protruding stomach. This would be their fifth child. Thus far they’d had children like clockwork. The first arrived fourteen months after they were married, and each of the others had come less than two years apart.
Glen nodded. “Do you need to speak to me?”
Van and Donna joined hands and moved forward. “To Jolene.”
Van hadn’t singled her out to speak to since they broke up. They’d been distantly polite during church gatherings, and if they passed each other on the sidewalk, they spoke and kept going. Donna grimaced, supporting her stomach with one hand as they approached.
Would Jolene ever know the joy of having a child of her own?
Van and Donna stopped not more than a foot from her and Glen.
Glen took a step back. “I should probably return to the fellowship circle.”
Van shrugged. “It might be wise if you stayed … if Jo doesn’t mind.”
Ministers were often brought in for conversations between people who had baggage between them, and if a minister had to listen to whatever Van and Donna had to say, she preferred it be Glen.
She clasped the tile, hoping the levity of the last few minutes would help her respond in a way that would please God. “Glen can stay. What’s on your mind?”
Donna put her hand on the small of her back. “After you confronted Van yesterday, he came home and told me how wrong he’d been about certain things. But he also asked me a lot of hard questions.”
Van put his arm around Donna’s shoulders. “Whether we acted out of ignorance or selfishness, we should’ve done better by you than we did, Jo.”
“It was more me than him,” Donna blurted out. “I’ve known for a very long time that I needed to ask you to forgive me. He didn’t realize the slights concerning timing or where we chose to live or how you might feel about any of it, but … I did.”
Finally. Donna’s declaration confirmed what Jolene had thought all along. Those few words released years of pent-up frustration at what Jolene had believed was sheer hypocrisy on Donna’s part, mostly during the first few years of their marriage. After that, Donna’s attitude seemed more humble.
The regret reflected on Donna’s face and in her eyes said her remorse went deep. She had carried full knowledge of her actions for a lot of years. Jolene had no doubt that until she confronted Van yesterday and he went home and questioned his wife, Donna had been unable to share her guilt with anyone, even Van.
It would be easy to hold this confession against her. It’d been a nightmare to cope with Donna’s smugness as Jolene muddled through those first few years. She’d forgiven them even then, but just as there were different kinds of love, there were different kinds of forgiveness. The type Jolene had given was between her heart and God’s. She had let go of her anger and given the unfairness of the situation to Him. But Van and Donna were now asking that she give direct forgiveness to them. All these years had God been applying pressure on Donna to stop playing games? Looking at them now, Jolene knew they needed more than her forgiveness. They needed encouragement and hope. Jolene hugged her. “Completely forgiven,” she whispered. She simply nodded at Van. “Denki.�
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Van smiled at her before focusing on his wife. He hugged Donna and whispered something. She kissed his cheek and then tenderly wiped the spot. Van turned to Jolene. “You may never know what today meant to us.”
Donna excused herself and went inside. James was leading the horse and carriage toward them as Ray and Hope came out of the barn. “Glen, could you run some interference and give me a minute with Jo?” Van asked.
“Glad to if Jolene doesn’t mind.”
“Denki, Glen.” She’d wanted a minute with Van.
Glen soon had Ray, Hope, and James preoccupied.
Jolene folded her arms and took a step back. “If I discerned correctly something you said yesterday, you’ve been giving money to Uncle Calvin to help us over the years, and I want to thank you for that.” Since she was unsure if Donna knew about that part, Jolene thought it best not to mention it in front of her.
“I’m glad I was able to help.”
“We needed every penny in those early years. I thought the saying about eating people out of house and home was a silly exaggeration until I faced the task of keeping those boys fed.”
Van smiled, looking as if she’d lifted more weight from him. But then he rubbed the back of his neck as if worried. “Look, I could be really wrong to say anything, but I won’t know until I tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“Because you made it clear that your life was much more difficult when I stayed close after our breakup, Andy thinks the respectful thing to do is to return to Apple Ridge. He’s leaving today.”
“What?” She wasn’t ready for that. She needed more time to think, and she hadn’t yet decided whether they could work together until the horses were adopted. How much hardship would this put on the Humane Society and the Fisher family? “But what about the horses?”
A Love Undone Page 17