Four months ago when Sadie had mentioned wanting a tree like Lester’s, Jolene began praying specifically for Andy and Tobias while tending to this tree. She would have to give it to Levi and Sadie, but since the night she’d kept Andy from returning to Apple Ridge, she’d cared for this tree with the same depth of love and care she did each one she gave away. Well, this one might have received a few more fervent pleas to God to take care of Andy for her. She blinked, willing the tears away. “The driver will be here soon, so would you carry this outside for me?”
“Sure.” Josiah picked up the heavy container as if it weighed no more than his son. “I want to say something encouraging. I can’t believe you of all people are facing this kind of meeting with church ministers, from two different districts no less. It’s just so wrong.”
She had yet to be told what the exact charges were. Obviously they were related to her becoming too friendly with a married man, and she had mixed feelings about that—some guilt and some defensiveness. “I hate it for Andy and Tobias. It’s my fault Andy didn’t go home when he wanted to. He could’ve used those few days at home to try to find someone who could replace him for the summer while Levi and Sadie stayed here.”
“I feel really guilty. Maybe if I’d been here for you, but I’ve been so busy with my own life—”
She held up her hand, shushing him, but before she said anything, someone knocked on the front door.
“Hallo? Jolene?” Glen called.
The plan had been that a driver would bring Glen here, and then Ray, Glen, and she would go to Apple Ridge. Her bishop and deacon had left earlier. She wasn’t sure why. “Take the tree out, and make sure Ray’s finished tending the horse.”
As soon as Josiah disappeared, Jolene reached into her pocket and felt the key to the attic. She’d fallen asleep with it in her hand last night, holding it tight. When she woke, her first thought was to give it to Andy. Maybe because the attic was a connection between them, or maybe because it represented a secret room, much like the undisclosed feelings that ran between them. Would anything be a secret after today?
The floor squeaked, and when she turned, she saw Glen in his Sunday best with a Bible in hand. He walked to the much-smaller dogwood, the one she would now give Ray when he married. “I didn’t say anything sooner because I was afraid it’d keep you from sleeping, but I don’t want you caught off guard. I don’t know what Andy’s bishop has said to him, but our bishop says I’m not to tell you the specifics. I do know, however, that it’s going to be a really tough day with a lot of hard questions.”
“I’ve been pondering the possible questions, so I hope I’m ready. I get that someone doesn’t like that Andy and I developed a friendship, but his wife is gone. How much mud can they sling?”
“Lester gave an excuse about being too old to go, not that I believe it, but who’s going to question an elder? Personally, I’m not sure he’s doing you any favors by staying home. It makes it look as if he has something to hide. He doesn’t, does he?”
Lester knew about her painting. Her friend wouldn’t chance being asked the wrong questions.
A horn tooted.
Jolene clutched the key to the attic. “That’s our ride.”
No matter how bad today got, she would remember her limited time with Andy as a good thing. Maybe that would keep her from losing her temper and making the situation worse.
They rode in a King Cab truck, Jolene and Ray in the back and Preacher Glen and the driver in the front. The scenery was pretty, but Jolene was exhausted by the time they arrived more than three hours later.
The beauty of Andy’s farm was startling with its lush greenery, well-kept barns and home, a huge round pen, and plenty of horses in the pastures. She hadn’t expected it to be such a pretty place.
Preacher Glen paid the driver and told him he would call him later today, possibly before dinnertime. It was an hour before noon now, so apparently Glen wasn’t expecting the meeting to drone on too long. Jolene hadn’t even considered who was paying for the gas or the driver’s time.
Glen moved the containerized tree to a wagon sitting just inside the barn. Then he went to the front door and knocked. A man Jolene didn’t recognize opened it. When they stepped inside, she saw people in chairs around a long kitchen table. Then she spotted Andy. Their eyes met, and despite the chaos she saw steady gentleness radiating from deep within him. He was simply a man who’d been young and had married a woman against his better judgment. She would not fault him for that.
How many misjudgments did each person make in a year? She had blindly kept Ray working in a place that was undoing all she was trying so hard to accomplish with him. She’d trusted her uncle and Josiah to look out for him, and they thought they were. Blind mistakes were as much a part of life as getting things right. They didn’t make a person a fool or less worthy. They showed that people were human and in need of grace. Her parents were intelligent, loving people who made a foolish mistake, but that did not change the beauty or value of who they’d been.
Jolene searched Andy’s eyes, and even now she could feel that there was something indefinable about him.
Ray bumped into her. “Oh, sorry about that.”
She realized he’d done it to break her stare. She swallowed hard and tried not to look Andy’s way again. Tobias wasn’t here but was probably with his grandparents for the day.
Introductions were made, but her head was swimming. There were six ministers—three from Andy’s district and three from hers—plus Levi, Sadie, and Andy. Bishop Omar motioned toward a chair. “You may take a seat.”
After prayers Andy’s bishop began. “Today will be filled with heated emotions, and I ask each of you, in the name of Jesus, to use self-control at all times as we work through this. The ministers have discussed it, and I will ask most of the questions. They have already given me many of their questions, which I’ve compiled into one list. But they may write down more as we go along and pass those to me as well. We’ll begin at the starting point of the issue, which is, When did Andy tell Jolene he was married, and what was her response? We will come to a conclusion on each charge before we move on to the next one. When discussing the elements of the accusation regarding what took place between Andy and Jolene, we, the ministers, will talk to the witnesses privately so that the ones being charged cannot hear the accounts of the others before they answer the questions we have for them. We will aim to give a decision today on all accusations, but we reserve the right to meet again concerning the allegation of lust and breaking the seventh and tenth commandments.”
A roar pulsed in Jolene’s ears as the impact of the charges hit her like being trampled by a rogue horse. “The seventh commandment?” Her head spun. She and Andy had crossed a few ethical lines. Perhaps a marriage, even when a spouse was missing, should be protected in ways she and Andy hadn’t honored, but … “We’re being accused of adultery?” Each of her words was packed with emotion, and she could hear the shrillness in her voice.
Andy closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Why hadn’t someone warned her about this? Jolene’s stomach churned, and she feared she’d be sick. Where was the bathroom? She darted to the kitchen sink, turned on the water, and drew a handful to her lips. It immediately eased her nausea.
A dishtowel was held out to her, and when she turned, she saw Sadie looking mortified for her.
Jolene gasped for air while dousing her face. She pulled the crumpled towel from her shoulder and dried her face. “I’m sorry. I … I had no idea that …”
“Sadie, would you get Jolene a glass of water?” Omar took a deep breath. “Jolene, please sit.”
Jolene returned to her chair, embarrassed almost as much by her reaction as the accusation. Adultery! Maybe whoever the accuser was didn’t understand the gravity of thinking such a thing. She’d spent her life wearing a cape dress, keeping her head covered, and praying every day. The claim was as harsh as accusing a peacekeeping, nonresistant woman of murdering someone for personal g
ain.
Sadie put a reassuring hand on Jolene’s shoulder for a moment as she set a glass of water on the table in front of her. Then she returned to her chair, but she didn’t look at Jolene.
Jolene tried to pay attention, but the pain was too much. What did God think of her misconduct? She didn’t claim to be innocent, but there was an ocean between unintentionally falling for a man whose wife had left him six years ago and adultery!
Omar asked Andy a lot of questions and then turned the questions to Levi, Sadie, and Ray.
The questions and answers between Omar and the others continued for more than an hour. “So,” Omar said, sounding ready to bring a conclusion to this issue, “what happened when Jolene realized you were married?”
“She said good-bye and left.”
“Immediately?”
“Not in the first thirty seconds, but as soon as the shock wore off, and I explained the situation, ya.”
“How long?”
“Within seven to ten minutes, I guess.”
“What was your reaction?”
“Confusion. Disbelief. I thought she knew. I was also honored that she cared and surprised that such an amazing woman would be interested in me if I was available.”
“So you wanted her,” Jolene’s bishop said.
“Wait.” Glen waved both hands. “There’s a huge gap between being flattered or honored and what you’re suggesting.”
“Is there?” the bishop asked.
Omar nodded. “I agree with Preacher Glen.”
“My daughter thinks they were playing footsie under the table.”
Glen’s eyes flashed with anger at his bishop. “Your daughter never saw them together. Your daughter talked to a child, jumped to conclusions, and is threatening to damage two families. I told you yesterday that I will not sit in silence while hypocrisy slings its spite, and it is hypocrisy for a gossip to falsely accuse others and use her bishop father as the instrument!”
Guilt for the position Glen found himself in hounded her. If he wasn’t careful, he would find himself facing charges for talking to the bishop in such a manner.
Did honoring a marriage demand that Andy and Jolene should’ve gone their separate ways as soon as they realized there was a spark between them? Or was that the letter of the law speaking?
But the real question was, What had they gained for their rare, intense moments together? The news of today’s meeting had already spread throughout their districts, and no matter what the outcome was, their reputations might be dashed to pieces.
And this meeting had broken their hearts.
30
Andy sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the wood floor, waiting to be called back to the kitchen table. Probably for the first time in his life, he understood depressed people’s desire to crawl into bed, pull the covers over their heads, and stay there.
The hopelessness eating at him made him want to do the same thing—give up. The gossiper had won. She’d hurt Jolene and her reputation. Why would anyone be so mean? What was the point? If not being able to marry Jolene wasn’t bad enough, if having to give up their friendship wasn’t bad enough, he’d had to stand by while Jolene’s bishop cut out her heart. Andy’s chest physically hurt. Could the severity of a heart attack be any worse?
He’d gone into a solitary room and testified concerning his relationship with Jolene. Then she went in alone. After that, Glen, Levi, and Sadie had done the same. Right now Ray was in there, answering question after question.
Voices came through the open window, and Andy went to it and looked out. Jolene and Glen were in the front yard, facing each other and talking. Jolene wiped tears from her face, and Glen put his hand on her shoulder. Andy returned to his bed and sat.
“Andy?” Omar called.
The hairs on Andy’s arm stood on end. This was it. Whatever the ministers had decided would be carried out. He was fairly certain of their decision and his punishment—not guilty on adultery, but guilty of inappropriate behavior so a sentence of an eight- to twelve-week shunning and Bible study time with Omar.
But he prayed they punished him and not Jolene. Andy drew a deep breath and went down the hall to the kitchen table. Jolene and Glen were coming in the front door. Each person took a seat.
Omar shuffled his papers. “It’s a grievous thing when a family is torn apart like Andy’s has been because Eva left. It causes innocent people to be tainted by prejudice and opens their lives to unfair scrutiny—as seems to be the case here. The only just and fair decision we can come to is to clear Andy and Jolene of all charges brought against them.”
Relief washed over Andy, and he could feel a weak smile tug at his lips.
Jolene stared blankly at the table. “I’ve been asked the most humiliating questions today. At one point my own bishop insisted I see a doctor to prove whether I’ve been with a man or not.”
Outrage coursed through Andy.
“I came here feeling humble and contrite because I do have strong feelings for a married man. But we kept a strict distance between us, and now anger burns in me, and questions keep circling.” She leveled a look at her bishop. “What is your part in the injustice that’s been done here today? Do you have no responsibility at all, no sense of humility? Are you capable of feeling anything beyond your self-righteous indignation that we didn’t handle our temptation in a way that met with your standards … or apparently those of your daughter?” Jolene stood, looking at every minister except her bishop. “I appreciate the justice you’ve given here today.” With that said and without looking at Andy, she went outside. Glen followed her.
Seething, Andy got up and walked out. Ray went with him.
Andy went down the steps, and when Jolene saw him, she walked toward him.
Glen came out of the phone shanty. “The driver is already on his way. He’d planned on waiting in the driveway for the meeting to end.”
“That’s fine.” Jolene folded her arms. “May Andy and I have a minute?”
Glen looked from Andy to her. “Ya.” He shrugged. “But I can’t let you leave my sight. Ray and I will wait here.”
“Denki.” Jolene ambled toward the barn.
“I can’t begin to tell you how sorry—”
“He’s my bishop, so I’m the one who’s the most sorry. He’s been strict all my life, but this is not the man I once knew him to be.”
“It seems he should’ve stepped down sometime ago.”
She motioned toward a containerized tree. “I brought something for you.” Her voice wavered. “Well, it officially has to go to Sadie and Levi, but you know what I mean.” Tears welled. How hard had it been for her to keep them at bay throughout the questioning? She rushed onward. “Since it’s mid-October, it needs to stay in this container throughout the winter. Then plant it early next spring after the last frost. It’s strong enough to survive winter in the barn, except it’ll need to be somewhere with good sun—”
“Jo,” he whispered.
Her face crumpled into tears, and she turned away from him.
He took a step toward her. “I appreciate the tree from the bottom of my heart, and I always will, but this is our last time to talk.”
“There isn’t anything else to say”—she turned—“except … words we cannot speak.”
Words of love, he knew. This was his Jo—as honest with him as the day was long. He released a deep breath, trying to stay in control of his emotions. He couldn’t acknowledge what she was implying. It didn’t matter that he adored her. His goal was to get her to grab on to a real future. “You need to walk away and let go. Do you understand?”
She shrugged, giving a slight roll of her eyes. “I’ve tried that.”
“Try again.”
Jolene fidgeted with something in her hand. “This may not feel like a good fit for your situation, but after my parents died, Josiah said something about keeping the family together that really helped me. He said maybe we’re in this family—maybe we exist—for the sake of our siblin
gs. I held on to those words many a night.” She clutched her fist tighter. Was there something in her hand? “Maybe your marriage isn’t about you. Maybe you’re in it for Eva’s sake, regardless of where she is.”
That thought struck hard, and he could see why it had bolstered Jolene. A bit of faith stirred within him. “That helps, Jo. A lot. But the only way I can stand this situation is if I know you will be all right. So give Glen another chance. You saw him in there today. He cares for you, and he had a dozen chances to take a pound of flesh from either of us, but he never did.”
She gazed out the barn door at Glen. He was doing his duty standing guard, but he was talking to Ray and only glancing their way. “He was at his best when I was being questioned alone.”
“See, he could be the one, Jo, and you had to go through this to really see it.”
She shook her head. “Now that I know what it means to have an inexplicable connection to someone, I don’t think I can marry if I feel less for someone else.”
The truck pulled into the driveway. “Tell me you’ll try. Please.”
“Okay.” She held out her hand to shake his. It was the only acceptable way to say good-bye with Glen watching. But she’d put something in his hand, a warm piece of metal with edges.
She smiled and wiped away another tear. “Bye.”
Andy stood rooted in place as she got into the truck. He waved, and soon the vehicle was out of sight. He looked in his hand.
A key to the attic. They both knew he wouldn’t return to Lester’s and meet her in the attic. The key wasn’t for that. But the impact of what the key meant washed over him, and despite the value of its significance, he was certain the harshest wind yet swept across his soul.
31
Ray came down the stairs carrying an armload of wrapped presents. The home he’d grown up in smelled and sounded as it should on Christmas Eve. He paused on the stairs, enjoying the many noises. Snippets of several conversations. Laughter. Cabinets and drawers being opened and closed. Plates and utensils scraping against each other.
A Love Undone Page 24