“Indeed you are, though,” Calabus said, his face approaching a ruby shade again. “That man is a master of mechanical arts. I insist you treat him as such.
“Squeen William, I commend you for your help in this affair. My son would have murdered the fellow had you not stepped in to save his life. You will be severely scourged for laying your foul and nasty hands on your betters. I will personally flog you senseless until you scream for mercy. Then I will think of something worse after that. Moreover, you will not have dessert for a week. Again, I am grateful for your loyalty and your service to this house. Please get your miserable, stinking carcass out of here and bring me some cheese. Not that vile-tasting piss-colored stuff, I want the white.”
Squeen William quickly vanished behind the kitchen door. Finn, still awed by the creature's strength, wanted to thank him as well, but decided the poor fellow was in enough trouble now.
“And you, sir …” Calabus turned his rheumy eyes on Finn. “We go beyond all tradition and taste to even harbor you here. I acknowledge the debt, but it sickens me to have you in our house. Moreover, we do not care to be called lunatics. I would remind you that persons of high intelligence are often deemed cabbage-brained or goofy by those of lesser ilk. Moreover, I have observed over a long lifetime that mental stability is not all it's cracked up to be.”
Calabus wiped a greasy sleeve across his mouth, and reached for the decanter of turnip wine.
“Now. I hope we're done with that. Let's get back to subjects of greater interest. My modest contribution to science is what I'd like to pursue.”
“No,” Finn said, “I won't do that.”
“What?”
“I have no interest in your work. Not any, none at all.”
“Finn …” Letitia looked concerned.
“Don't worry, I can handle this.”
“I suggest you don't.” Sabatino grabbed the arms of his chair, poised to leap again. “You've had a taste of what happens out there. Our home is your only sanctuary. Don't make us any sorrier than we are that you sit at our table and sleep in our bed.”
Finn shook his head in wonder. “And we're safe in here? You've got killers lurking about in the dark. You've got some—some decrepit old maniac foaming at the mouth … Oh, sorry. No one's crazy here, I forgot.”
Calabus made a face. “Those are personal problems. No concern of yours.”
“I told him that,” Sabatino said. “Fellow doesn't know when to quit.”
“Desssert, sssirs and misss? Sssea Pudding, with tiny little thingss inssside. Little blackie thingsss.”
“Get out,” Sabatino shouted, “you vile, filthy Newlie dung! No offense, miss.”
“No—certainly not,” Letitia said, looking frightened, and just this side of dread.
“All of you, please.” Calabus spread his hands, looking weary, looking pained. “Master Finn and I were discussing my invention. I cannot wait to go over this together, sir, to get your invaluable suggestions. How it can be—ah—modified, changed for the better, made more useful to all mankind. Don't pretend you're not curious now, I can see the thirst for knowledge in your eyes. Damn your rotting flesh, Squeen, get that Sea Pudding in here before I drop hot coals in your ears and stick thorns in your eyes!
“At any rate,” he said, making a little tent with his hands, “I think you'll be delighted. I know you're in for a surprise.”
Finn let out a sigh of resignation. “All right, what exactly is it? I don't believe you said.”
“It's something you really have to see.”
“Yes, I thought it might be.”
“It's—ah—it's a device.”
“A device.”
“Yes.”
“And what is the nature of this device?”
“Big.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“It's basically a very big device.”
“Well, that clears it up for me.”
“Damnation,” Sabatino groaned, “just tell him, Father, get it over with.”
“I will, boy, I'm coming to that right now.”
Finn was delighted to note that Sabatino's jaw was slightly off center, and that his nose was larger than usual and out of whack. With any luck, the swelling might never go down.
“It's big. A great deal bigger than I planned. I have to say it's out of hand …”
Squeen William appeared bearing cups of something jellied and gray. Gray, apparently, was Squeen William's choice for food of every sort.
“Ah, very nice, Squeen. No one can make Sea Pudding like you. Mind you don't sneak any for yourself, or I'll slice off several of your toes.”
“Sssssomebody bees here,” Squeen said. “Ssssomebody atta door.”
“What?”
“What?”
Calabus and Sabatino looked up at once.
“Who is it,” the younger asked, “and what in damnation's he doing here?”
“Never mind,” Calabus said, “whoever it is, don't let the bastard in.”
“Already am,” said a voice behind Squeen. “Took the liberty. Know my way in the dark to my good friend's house.”
Calabus came out of his chair, gasping for breath.
“Sabatino,” he cried, grabbing a mended fork. “To arms, lad, run the fellow through! Kill him before he slays us all … !”
THE NEWCOMER GRINNED, BUT TOOK A STEP BACK. “Cal, you damn fool. You're not going to slay your own kin, certainly not in the house.”
“Huh! You're no kin of mine.”
“How sad it is to be denied,” the fellow said with a sigh. “We cannot choose our relations, Cal, that's in greater hands than ours. And I'd be cautious if I were you, for you're in need of family now. Folk who'll stand by you, no matter what your crime …”
Calabus came out of his chair as quickly as his scrawny frame allowed.
“Damn your treacherous hide, what the hell are you talking about, what are you up to now?”
He had to look up at the man, who was tall and gaunt as a scarecrow, a hollow-cheeked fellow with a bony nose and balding hair. He looked as old as Calabus himself, yet he carried himself with some stature and pride.
“I'd as soon poke a hole in your gut right here,” Calabus muttered, “Don't have to go outside. Son, draw that sticker and do your duty now.”
“Dr. Nicoretti,” Sabatino said, “my esteemed uncle, who, as you'll note, is totally despised in this house. Uncle, Master Finn and Mistress Letitia, who are staying with us until their vessel—arrives. You have seen this gentleman before, but I doubt you'd recall. He was somewhat farther away mutilating Father on a rack at the time.”
“I know who they are,” the doctor said, glancing at the pair as if he hadn't noticed them before. A glance and then away as if a longer look might taint him somehow.
“I know what they're doing here, too. Staying, sleeping in the house.”
Nicoretti paused to thrust a pair of spectacles on his nose. “What in blazes were you thinking, Cal, have you lost your fool mind? This is a terrible thing you've done. It's Outlander ways, not ours. And one of 'em is—the other kind.”
“I know what she is,” Calabus said, “you don't need to come in here and tell me what someone is.”
“It's a matter of honor,” Sabatino said. “It's not an ordinary thing.”
“It's not, huh?” Nicoretti risked a look at Letitia and Finn. “Sleeping in here? Eating at your table? It isn't decent, Cal, it's disgusting's, what it is.”
“Don't talk to me about decent,” Calabus said, “walking in like you own the place. Least you had the manners to leave your pointy hat outside. By damn, I would not put up with that. You want a glass of wine before you go?”
Nicoretti made a face. “If you had some, I would.”
“Suit yourself then.” Calabus downed another goblet, spilling the better part of it down his robe. “So what did you come for? The game's over and you're out of bounds here.”
“It's about those two, is what it is. We had a meeting la
st night. Most of the Hatters feel, and I think rightly so, that we've got every right to a penalty fee. You brought in illegal players. That's interference, plain and clear.”
Sabatino laughed. “We didn't ask for help, they volunteered. You can't fine us for that.”
“I think we've got a case here.”
“Nonsense. It's happenstance, nothing more.”
Nicoretti sighed. “I don't want any trouble, Cal. You and I have been kin a long time. Fate cast us to the winds. We, as mortal persons, don't have a lot to say. I could've been born into Hooters. You could be wearing the yellow hat instead of me.”
“Not hardly,” Calabus said. “Not on your life. The Nuccis come from better stock than that.”
If Dr. Nicoretti took offense, he didn't let it show. Finn thought he clearly wasn't happy being there. He looked a bit weary, like he'd rather take a nap. Then, instead of facing Calabus and son, he turned and looked curiously at Finn.
“We could come up with something. Maybe settle all this.”
Calabus frowned. “Like what?”
“Those two, say. Instead of a fine. We'll be holding afternoon worship in three days' time.”
“Hah! Splendid idea.” Sabatino shot Letitia a wink. “You can have him, but you can't have her.”
“Shut up, he can't have either one.” Calabus scowled at his son. “I'll be working closely with Master Finn. Besides, you can't use a Newlie in rites of a spiritual nature, there's laws against that.”
“There are ways around it, too. The Hatters have a lot of Newlie friends.”
“Say, hold on there!” Finn stood, a motion that shattered the remnants of his chair. “We're not even from here. We don't believe in your religion, or the Hooters', either one.”
“You don't have to believe, stranger. We do.”
“Nothing doing, no way.” Calabus scratched something in his beard. “Just get that out of your head. I'm not giving anyone away.”
“There's something you ought to think about, Cal. Your people aren't going to take this hospitality business kindly, any more than us. It's not our way. Him and a Newlie gal sleeping and eating here.” Nicoretti made a face. “Heresy's a nasty word. I don't even like to say it out loud.”
“Is that a threat?” Sabatino said, clutching the hilt of his blade. “If it is, I shall have to call you out, Uncle. At your convenience, with the weapon of your choice.”
“Sit down, son, and shut up.”
Calabus looked at Nicoretti. “I'm surprised you'd lower yourself to such unworthy trickery as this. We can't abide each other and never did, but I didn't dream you'd sink to the bottom of the pit. It's Hatter ways have done it, I'm sorry to say. You're wearing the coat of the damned, and it sure seems to fit. Now get yourself off my premises before I forget my manners and do you bodily harm.”
“I feel you've made yourself clear,” Nicoretti said.
“I surely think I have.”
“Is that Sea Pudding you got there, Cal? Why, I haven't had any since I don't know when.”
“You're not having any now, either. You should've thought of that before you came in here with gross extortion on your mind. Now go. And don't walk funny or knock something over in my house. I've got valuable pieces in here …”
“I DON'T BELIEVE THIS,” FINN SAID. “IF I DIDN'T know better, I'd say I'm having an awful nightmare. I'm not, because I'd never close my eyes in this place again. Stones and Scones, Sabatino, I despise you as a person, but I thought you had a trace of fair play. It's clear to me you don't.”
“I was only bluffing, Finn. Give me more credit than that.”
Sabatino yawned and picked his teeth with a damaged fork.
“Besides, we take our spiritual life seriously here. Nicoretti's crowd was paid handsomely at the Giving of the Goods. We don't owe him a thing, we don't need to give you away. It was all by the rules of the game.”
“Game …” Finn shook his head in disgust. “Torturing some poor devil in the marketplace. That's not a game where I come from. It's flat-out murder and assault.”
“Do I tell you what church to go to? No. Then stop complaining, dear boy, and have some more wine.”
“No thank you,” Finn said, “If I want to throw up, I'll do it on my own …”
The breakfast fare was gone, but Sabatino had kept the turnip wine. Letitia had fled to her room, taking Julia Jessica Slagg. Calabus was upstairs as well, possibly changing from filthy nightwear to something filthy for the day.
Squeen William was nowhere in sight. Finn felt he ought to hear the clatter of dishes, something going on back there. It might be washing was not the custom here. Maybe one simply threw the dishes out, or set them aside for the next meal of the day.
“I wouldn't worry,” Sabatino said, turning over his empty mug with a frown. “Father was very big in Hooters, you know. He has a bit of clout.”
“I have to worry because you've lied to me every step of the way. I don't think you can help it. I doubt you could tell the truth if you tried.”
“Please,” Sabatino moaned, “don't start that. You'll put me to sleep.”
“You lied about the ship. You lied about the old man you've got locked up in here. You lied about last night. Who sent those Foxers to do you in? The more I think about it, the more I remember that boy on the ship …”
Sabatino's face went slack at that. “Think what you like, craftsman, but keep your words to yourself. I've promised Father not to kill you. Still, as you say, I lie a great deal.”
“Right. Whatever I ask I'm wasting my time. This Dr. Nicoretti. You called him Uncle. He's your father's brother, then?”
“Thank the heavens, no.” Sabatino made a face. “And that's none of your concern.”
“Your mother's brother, then. Is your mother—Right, none of my concern. Would the doctor hire Foxers to kill you and your father? You don't seem to like each other much.”
“Nonsense.” Sabatino waved the words away. “Just because the Hatters aren't of our faith doesn't mean they're assassins as well.”
“I'd say this was more personal than church. Who, then? Unless it was the Foxer's idea, and you don't want to talk about that.”
“I haven't the foggiest idea,” Sabatino said, and from the sober, sincere cast of his eye, Finn knew he was lying again. “At any rate, don't make me tell you again. Nothing in this house is any business of yours.”
“It is if Letitia and I are stranded here, with killers roaming the halls. Last night was a—Letitia, I thought you were going to rest awhile.”
“Did you? I guess you were mistaken, Finn, as I am not up there, I'm down here.”
Letitia found a chair that worked and sat, not overly close to Finn. Sabatino chuckled beneath his breath, delighted at the tension between the two. Julia, wrapped about Letitia's shoulder, kept her snout shut, and let her ruby eyes flick about the room.
“Well, then, what's the topic of conversation?” Letitia asked, a honeyed sweetness to her voice that annoyed Finn no end. “Is it the weather? I wouldn't know if there's any, as there's not a window one can see out. And if I were to take a walk, I would be assaulted by persons in yellow hats. Or maybe someone in a mask? There are so many possibilities in this lovely spot you've brought me to, Finn.”
“All right, let's not—”
“Let's not quarrel here, Letitia? Well, where else would we quarrel, dear? There's no place else to go.” Letitia pounded the words on the arm of her chair. “We are— here—in—this—horrible place with these dreadful people, and—and—”
The storm spread across her lovely features till Finn was sure sparks would fly out of her ears.
“—and I expect WE ARE GOING TO DIE HERE!”
“Wine? Anyt'ing you bees wantin', anyonesss?”
Squeen peeked out of the kitchen, granting everyone a ghastly furry smile.
“Get him out of here,” Letitia screamed, “he's scaring me to death!”
“Letitia, I think you're overwrought.”
“Don't you tell me what I am, don't you speak to me …”
“Well, we all enjoying ourselves? Why, I could hear you clear upstairs.”
“Strike me blind,” Sabatino muttered, “What on earth are you wearing, Father?”
“What, this? Don't you tell me what to wear, you miserable wretch. This is finery, is what it is. We can't all join the circus, boy.”
“I'll argue that …”
Calabus paid no attention to his son. He had changed into a shirt of faded puce, a spangled vest of red and blue with half the spangles gone, the others hanging loosely by a thread. Mauve pants gathered at the ankles, peach velvet shoes with the toes cut out.
“Well, then.” Calabus rubbed his hands together, a childlike twinkle in his eyes. “Are you ready, Master Finn? I commend you for your patience. You have held your excitement in check.”
Finn looked puzzled. “Ready for what? I'm afraid I have no idea.”
“Ready to look upon my invention, sir, what do you think I'm talking about? That's why you're here, you know. I am not breaking all the rules of decency for my health.”
“Well said, Father.”
“Who asked you, boy?” Calabus turned on Finn. “My laboratory's in the cellar. You won't need a coat, it's really quite warm down there.”
“And I shall do my best to amuse Miss Letitia while you're gone,” Sabatino said. “We'll think of something, won't we, dear?”
“We certainly will not,” Letitia said.
“Definitely not,” Finn said. “Letitia goes with me.”
“I don't go with anyone. I am going, but I'm going by myself.”
Calabus looked pained. “No, young lady, you're not. I cannot allow you down there.”
“Why not?”
“He can't,” Sabatino said.
“I was asking him, thank you.”
“It's simply not possible.”
“Why not?”
“Please do not ask me that again,” Calabus said, “you've done it twice now.”
“How about three?”
Finn stepped to her side. Letitia pretended he wasn't there. “I'll ask it, then. Why? Is your invention dangerous in any way? Would she come to any harm?”
The Prophecy Machine (Investments) Page 12