They circled again. Hal threw back his arm, Gage feinted again to the side, but instead of dodging the blow, he folded in half as Hal's other fist came up in a sharp upper cut, connecting to Gage's midsection. A smattering of applause sounded, along with a few whistles at Hal's successful strategy.
Gage raised himself to full height again, rolling his shoulders and lifting his fists as they danced around each other, getting closer until the blows began to land. Gage's were well directed, connecting in a series with Hal's gut and chin. Hal's were flying widely all over the place. The objective, I decided, was to cause maximum pain all over and thereby weaken one’s opponent.
My fingers curled under the chair as I watched, hardly able to breathe as the two men battered each other. Gage's arms took the brunt of wider-placed strikes, leaving him unable to get any blows of his own, as Hal continued his relentless attack, lurching forwards and pushing Gage toward the wall. Gage's back hit the wall as the crowd leapt apart. Instead of allowing Hal to continue his battery, Gage pressed his shoulders into the wall, stuck his foot out, and hooked his heel around the back of Hal's knee, pulling his leg out from under him. As Hal crashed to one knee, Gage took the opportunity of his surprise and rained blows to his head, preventing Hal from rising. In one brutal movement, Gage smashed his fist and forearm across Hal's upper back, causing the man to collapse on the ground. Instantly, Gage straddled his chest and landed one last blow to the Hal's jaw. Hal blinked as his chest depressed and his shoulders fell flat against the floor, realising the fight was lost.
"Round one, Gage Garoul," shouted the compere to loud applause. He grabbed Gage's wrist, lifting his hand into the air, while simultaneously pulling him upwards. Gage shook himself, spewing droplets of blood from his cut lip, which flew across the floor. I chanced a brief glance at the vampires, noting that none of them moved, though they watched intently. Already, Gage's skin was covered in burst capillaries and the first signs of bruising. One of his packmembers directed him to their corner and they closed around him, leaving me unable to see. Instead, I watched Hal getting pulled onto his feet, shaking off his surprise at Gage's first attack. Despite his dazed look, he seemed in better shape than Gage. I wondered if he would be able to win through his own endurance, simply by wearing Gage down until he couldn't fight any longer. As Hal's supporters closed around him, I looked away.
Despite Gage's win, my nerves seemed to fray all the more. If Gage could win this next round, that was it. It would be over. He would lead the packs. If he didn't, and Hal equalised the score, there would have to be another brutal round to determine the winner. I just couldn't decide whether I wanted Gage to win or not. All I could do was sit there and watch, vowing to support him whatever the outcome. Until then, I realised, I could make no decisions regarding “us” of my own. I didn’t know whether I wanted him for myself, or was prepared to let him go. I wasn’t sure whether I was okay to have a relationship in secret, or just remain friends. I didn’t even know if we could remain friends. Too much had happened too fast. We were too close, and to be ripped away now...
Everything changes, Étoile said, and she was right. The outcome of this fight not only determined Gage's future, but also meant I had some decisions of my own to make pertaining to him and Evan, that is, if either of them were my ultimate choice. Not that I couldn't make a choice here and now, but there was no advantage in coming to a decision that Gage didn't want either. No, I needed to know what he wanted before I could be sure of my own desires. It seemed a cowardly way of choosing my path — wasn't I letting someone else choose it for me? — but I couldn't think of anything else to do. All I could hope was that things would become clearer to me when all this was over and I was home again.
"Round two!" shouted the compere and once more, the crowd parted. This time, the men emerged in their wolf forms. Gage, I recognised immediately, having seen him many times that way. Like his human self, Hal was a stocky, muscular wolf with a broad muzzle. Both had their ears set back as they snarled at each other and prepared for combat. Feet nimble, chests low, backs arched, they circled the small arena, anxious for the first move.
This time, Gage made it, snapping and biting at Hal's face before pulling back. When they flew at each other again, moments later, it was hard to visually separate them. They latched onto each other, biting, and snarling. A chunk of fur landed on the floor before being kicked away as the two wolves snapped at each other’s necks, rolling and clawing. Like everyone else, I leaned closer, watching the fight as it skidded across the floor, temporarily causing the standing onlookers to scatter and close again. My view was momentarily blocked as the wolves careened towards us. Blood droplets followed them, but it was hard to determine whom they belonged to; both wolves had matted fur and wet blood dripping from their jaws.
I gasped when Gage yelped as Hal's teeth fixed around his foreleg. He tumbled forwards over his head, landing with a sharp thud! on his back. Hal wasted no time in leaping onto him, pinning him down, and snapping viciously at his throat. Gage did not surrender, but began scrabbling in an ungainly manner at his opponent until one sharp claw hit Hal's eye, causing a painful whine to echo through the room as he was knocked to the side. Gage launched at him, clamping his jaws around Hal's neck and pinning him to the floor until Hal went limp.
"Round two, Gage Garoul. Victor: Gage Garoul!" screamed the compere as the room broke into applause and uproar.
"He won!" shouted someone and their approval was evident before the wolves were dragged apart. Moments later, two men appeared. Hal lay curled on the floor, his hands clamped over his eye, and Gage knelt, panting, with his hands on his thighs. Bites and claw marks traversed his back, chest, and arms. A flap of skin hung from his shoulder where blood poured down his arm. I wanted to go to him, and heal him, but Astra's hand, which was lightly resting on my knee, pressed a little harder, warning me not to. Then Étoile's voice was in my head as she telepathically transmitted, "This is for the wolves. You cannot get involved."
"Not even to heal him?" I voiced back. "Not for support?"
"Not anything," Étoile warned.
"Is that for us or them?"
"Both. No matter our alliances, we have to appear neutral. As for Gage, he cannot publicly align with a witch at this stage of his leadership fight. It could taint everything."
I glanced towards him. Despite his hanging head, and the cluster of people around him, his eyes connected with mine, but they were dark and unreadable, his pupils still constricted from assuming his wolf form. I wished I could read everything in them. I wished I knew what he thought.
"Does Gage know this?" I asked, regretting my enquiry as soon as I transmitted the thought. My heart thudded with the pain of our connection, knowing it was strained, possibly even breaking.
"Of course he does."
I shut down the telepathic connection. I didn't need to know anymore. Gage had his path and it wasn't the same one I was on. Whether that would always remain, I didn't know, but Étoile made it clear: there could be no Gage and me. He chose that path, although it wasn't just a choice, I realised with startling clarity, and not necessarily what Gage or I wanted. It was what our laws dictated. As much as the High Council intended to align and protect us, that meant absorbing other laws and traditions that would separate us. I breathed deeply, inhaling the sweat, blood, and an awful sense of certainty that I truly hated our world as much as I belonged to it. I hated it because there were no real choices for me, if I chose to live amongst our kind.
"They're swearing him in," said Kitty, tapping me, and jolting me out of my thoughts.
I blinked, wondering how long I'd been blankly staring. Gage had his shorts on again and the loser was kneeling at his feet. Constance moved past the compere, and as we watched, she touched Hal's face. At first, I wasn't sure what she was doing. Then she turned to Gage and dragged her finger across his forehead, leaving a swipe of blood. Next, his cheeks were smeared with three dashes of blood on each side. "That marks the attacking claws,"
Kitty told me. "I've heard about it. It's to show who prevailed, and therefore, is the victor."
"The fate of your opponent?" asked Constance.
"Do you submit to my rule?" asked Gage, his voice strained with exertion. After a moment, Hal nodded, bowing his head in submission.
"The fate of the traitors?"
Gage glanced at them. "Five years exile from today," he pronounced as a murmur ran through the crowd.
"Lenient," said Astra. The other side of me, Kitty sniffed and stoically stared at the group. I noticed the thunder diminished, but storm clouds still rolled past the long windows.
"Decide Noah Wilde's fate," said Constance, stepping aside as Noah was pushed to the floor in front of Gage.
Gage looked down at the bound man. Noah didn't struggle or shout. Instead, he simply looked up at his successor and waited. "Death," said Gage. He raised his arm and slashed downwards with the claw that remained. Instantly, Noah was on the floor, his neck spurting with blood as he emitted an unearthly sound. Finally, his twitching body lay still and a roar of approval rose from the crowd.
It might have been justice for Kevin Wyatt but I'd had enough, and couldn't watch anymore. "I'm going home," I told Kitty, as I slipped from the room before anyone could stop me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Stella!" Kitty shouted my name again and this time, instead of pushing my ear-buds further into my ears and ignoring her, I pulled a face at the wall and turned in my chair, preparing to go to the door. However, I didn't need to search wherever she was in my house as she appeared in the doorway to the sunroom. "Stella, I've been calling you," she said. "Someone's at the door for you."
"Who?"
"Find out for yourself!" she said smartly. "I am not covering for you or making anymore excuses. You've been miserable for two weeks. You think you're the only one who wants to hide from everyone? Get your ass out there and witch up!"
"Witch up?" I repeated, my eyebrows raised, but Kitty simply stuck her tongue at me and left.
I could have ignored the door too, and rudely left whomever it was waiting, but Kitty was right. No more excuses. In the two weeks since being home, I'd not answered the phone, or the door, or ventured outside to do anything more than buy groceries. I couldn't shake off the fug, which I preferred to wallow in, losing myself in work and morosely traversing the house. This morning, however, I awoke feeling a little better, and a little less bitter about everything that happened in the preceding weeks. So, in the spirit of change, I got off my butt and walked to the front door. Opening it, no one was there, so I stuck my head out, looking around.
A man stood at the end of the porch, his back to me. He wore a thickly checked shirt, with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, and jeans, along with heavy boots. His dark hair curled at his collar. He didn't turn around as I approached, but waited for me to join him. As he faced away from the house, I perched on the railing, looking up at him.
"Hello, stranger," he said, looking down.
"Hi, Gage."
He stared at me for a long time before looking away, and over at his own house. "You haven't answered any of my calls," he said softly.
"I know."
"Want to tell me why?"
There were a dozen reasons why I'd been ignoring his daily calls: I didn't want to talk over the phone, I saw you kill a man, you and I are in incompatible positions. The list went on, just like my confusion.
"You're mad at me," he said, when I didn't answer. "I get it."
"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm..." I searched for a word, falling short. Nothing seemed appropriate to how I felt. I wasn't mad, but I was upset, and that seemed valid. "I don't know what to say."
"Did you listen to my messages?"
"Yes."
"I never thought any of this would happen." Gage took my hand and pulled me over to the swing he once hung for me. We sat there together and he guided my hand to his chest, placing it over his heart, his own warm hand on top. "I never thought I'd get you, or that I'd kill Noah Wilde, or that I'd be the one to lead the packs."
"I know," I said again because I believed that wasn’t his plan. "But you didn't say no to any of it either."
"No, I didn't. I'm not making excuses. I'm responsible for everything I've done."
We sat quietly for a few minutes as we both absorbed that. "Are you home for good?" I asked.
"Yep, this will always be my home. Pack business continues as normal at the Loup Garou and I'll undertake national pack business there too. I'll have to go to the city from time-to-time for High Council business, but this will always be my home."
"So I live opposite the most powerful werewolf in the United States?" I asked.
Gage gave a sharp laugh. "Looks that way."
"Guess I better not moan about your werewolves marking my property anymore," I teased.
"Tell me who did that, and I’ll make sure he tends your yard for the next year."
"No one, I was just teasing, but now I wish someone had if only so I could have a yard minion."
Gage squeezed my hand, but didn't let it go as he laughed. "It's good to be home."
"It's good to have you back." I wanted to say, where does that leave us? but something stopped me. Probably fear of the answer rather than asking the question. During my miserable two weeks of hiding and self-contemplation, I had yet to come to any conclusion as to what I truly wanted. I knew what I didn't want. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want Gage to reject me because of what we were, even though I was trying to accept that as being the case. Even more problematic was that I knew I had feelings for not just Gage, but also Evan. Could I give one up for the other? wasn't as big a question as, could I have either? Both of them were being pressured to mate with their own kind. Would either be willing to overcome that pressure and choose me? And if I made a choice, while ignoring their issues... what if I made the wrong one? Ever present was the urgency to make a choice because I could not stand being in a constant state of limbo. It made me sad.
"Stella, where do you want to go from here?" Gage asked.
I opened my mouth to reply, but once more, found myself without an answer. "What question are you asking?" I asked instead.
"You and me."
"Can there be a you and me?"
"I don't know." Gage paused, his chest rising and falling dramatically. "My position says no. I lead the packs. My position defines the packs. I'm supposed to breed the next generation; and I can only do that one hundred percent for sure with another werewolf."
"So it comes down to whomever you can breed with?" I didn't try to mask the distaste in my voice.
"Ultimately, yes, but that doesn't mean things can't change. You and me... we can be together, Stella. I can change things. I have the power to change things."
"Until there comes a point when you're forced to choose between the pack and me. Could you do that?" I waited for what seemed like forever, and just when I thought I had to fill the silence, Gage spoke.
"If not for my position, I could have more flexibility."
"But you do have your position. Do you want to keep it or give it up?"
"I can be a good leader. I can also improve the High Council. I can change things for the better."
I took my time in answering. I didn't want to be bitter or unkind, but sympathetic, although I couldn't deny the ache in my chest. "If you choose them, you can't be with me now," I said softly. "We can't find out what could be."
"We can try. We can..."
"I don't want to be your secret while you wait for the day you're expected to pick a mate," I told him, steeling myself to choose what was right for me. "I don't want that for me, no matter how I feel about you. And I'm not going to wait for you to have a mate, or leave your position, hoping you'll come back to me. I'm not the type of woman who waits, or wants to be second, Gage. I know that much."
"Oh, Stella..." His voice was gentle, almost breaking, and I leaned in to him, resting my head against his shoulder as our hands remained entwined o
ver his heart. "I've loved you since I met you. I love you now."
"I'll always be your friend. I won't leave you. It'll just be different," I told him. "A different kind of friendship."
"What about love? What about what you feel for me?"
I gulped. In all my wallowing, I hadn't decided whether what I felt for him was love, or the beginnings of it. Maybe that was a good thing, now. "It doesn't matter if the obstacles are too great."
"I don't know if I can cope with seeing you, while knowing I can't have you. How the hell do I cope with that?"
"One day at a time."
"I hate clichés." I could feel his sadness and anger, tinged with newfound pride and determination, as well as his confusion and belief that he could make real change with his sacrifice. Gage was very unhappy. "What's the point in having it all when it's not really true?" He sighed heavily when his cell phone rang. Picking it up, he checked the screen, sighed again, and spoke briefly to the caller before hanging up. "I don't want to, but I have to go. We're having problems with a supplier at The Loup and I have to deal with it. He says he hasn't been paid and I know I paid his invoice, but no one can find it. Can I come back later? I don't want to leave things like this."
"I'm going to babysit Annalise's baby tonight," I told him.
"I could hang out with you."
"No," I said, softly. I couldn't face the idea of hanging out with him, not with so much feeling, tension, and unresolved emotions between us. I reached up and kissed his cheek, savouring the roughness of his stubble over the soft heat of his skin. I whispered, "Bye," and left him alone on the porch.
~
Holed up in the sunroom, gazing out toward the trees and listening to music streaming through my ear-buds, I almost missed Astra and Kitty, who were hovering in the doorway, until Kitty yelled that they were leaving. They joined me at my house within hours of Gage's ascension; and so far, I'd only heard them talking and making plans for Kitty to show her around the town properly while I continued working, or sulking, as Kitty called it, before their departure.
Arcane Magic (Stella Mayweather Series) Page 25