Surrender

by Rue Volley

  I moaned as my fingers continued to move. I reached up with one hand and grabbed at my breast, I squeezed it as the water moved from the turbulence below, sloshing over the sides and spilling to the floor. Behind my eyes I saw him clearly, standing before me. His abs tight and rippling down to a place I longed to be. His skin shimmering from sweat and his mask, coming off. He lowered his head and slipped it from his eyes and as he rose up I saw him for the first time. His eyes a bright blue, his hair black. Lips full and firm, jawline chiseled. He was a thing of beauty and mine, something I needed and had acquired. I bit into my lip and tasted blood as I cried out. It ran down my chin and dripped into the water as the orgasm tore through me. It was torturous and yet so needed. I came so hard it almost hurt as my stomach tightened and my back arched beyond its limits. Then I jumped in my tub as I heard a voice, almost as if it were whisper on the wind…calling out to me. I looked around and heard it again then I stood up as the voice sounded off to the right of me and I saw him…the man standing there before me, forcing my orgasm to double me over….

  ***

  I jumped in the booth as I looked up and saw Keegan, he called out to me and I slammed my laptop shut as he came into view just as the other him, the mystery man, faded in my mind. I was definitely blurring the lines and it had me so fucked up as I lowered my hands and felt the clamminess in my palms. I slowed my breathing as Keegan smiled and slid in across from me, he looked nice. He had his hair pushed back, a nice black button down on with faded jeans. So fucking cute, it was ridiculous. My cheeks reddened as he stared at me and grinned.

  “Good scene?” he asked me as he glanced down at my laptop.

  “A paper, I have a paper due.”

  “Mmm,” he said, my lie was not convincing him of anything. I rubbed my neck and then picked up my coffee, I caught a glimpse of my watch and saw that it was only 6:30, so he was early too.

  “You are early,” I said to him and he leaned back.

  “So are you.”

  “I figured I would try to get some work done before you showed up.”

  “You look nice, Fay,” he said to me and it interrupted my thoughts, an odd thing for someone to be able to do.

  “Thank you, so do you.” I said, just returning the compliment to be civil. I mean, in my book I had just been…never mind. This is so ridiculous.

  He grinned as he glanced at my laptop. “So I showed up early with an agenda.”

  “Oh?” I said to him.

  “Yeah, I was going to see how many girls I could seduce before you got here and then tell you about it.”

  I tilted my head. “What?”

  He laughed as he mocked me. I raised an eyebrow and then stood up.

  “What do you want?” I asked him as I looked down at him in the booth.

  “Just to talk.”

  “No…to drink,” I said and he grinned at me.

  “Water.”

  I shook my head, “The bet was for a coffee.”

  “I don’t drink it.”

  “Then why bet for it?” I asked him.

  “Because you do.”

  I grinned and walked to the counter as his eyes followed me. My long legs must have been appealing to him because when I glanced back he was staring at them. He turned back, as if I had caught him doing something he should not have. I bit my lip again as the girl stepped up and glanced over to the booth.

  “I wish I had liquor for you.”

  I laughed quietly, “I need a water.”

  “Water?”

  “Yeah, it was a bet that I lost, but he was supposed to get coffee.”

  “Why not coffee?” she asked me as she handed me a chilled glass with a lemon in it.

  “He doesn’t like it.”

  “Oh…he likes you,” she said quietly and I took the water and shook my head at her.

  “Oh yeah, anyone who bets for something they don’t even care to win is out for something else,” she added.

  I walked back, knowing she was right. I mean he didn’t even win, so to speak, but in his mind the winning was not the drink itself, it was to be sitting here with me. I sat down and slid the water to him as he caught it with one hand and looked into my eyes.

  He touched his glass and his eyes locked onto mine. “So, tell me more about this book.”

  I cleared my throat and leaned back, unable to really tell him anything about what I had just written. A part that had finally placed a face to the anonymous sex partner in my book, that of his own.

  “The bet was unfair,” I said to him as he took a drink of his water. He set it down and then played with the sides of it. I watched as some of the condensation rolled down the side of the glass and onto his finger tip. It reminded me of sweat and I adjusted in the booth. His eyes lifted to mine, the color of them mesmerizing me, not unlike they had when I first saw him sit up right where he was when I met him.

  “Okay, it was rigged, but don’t hate me.”

  I leaned forward and so did he, like we were telling secrets. “I mean, why not just tell me who you are?”

  “You didn’t ask me,” he whispered. I sat back and looked him over.

  “That is not something you hide from anyone.”

  He leaned back and tapped the table with his fingers, not unlike I do when I am thinking. I could not help but notice the similarities in our personalities.

  “I was not hiding it, I promise that I wasn’t. I just got here two days ago. I came here the first night and fell asleep in this booth. No one woke me until you showed up the next morning and you are just the first person I really met here…I mean, you and Gemma. You seemed flustered when I sat up so I thought ‘Hi” was the appropriate introduction, and then Gemma showed up and it went on from there. I was tired and then you intrigued me with your book about…well, you know, and the rest is history.”

  “You said you were going to class.”

  “I was, an introductory one, with the dean, I guess I should have said meeting, but old habits die hard. Listen. I have spent all of my life in school, saying “class” is not a lie, it is just what I am used too.”

  I sat there and listened to him and I had to believe him, but the whole car ride still had me agitated.

  “You should have told me in the car.”

  “I probably should have, but I was in a hurry, just like you, and honestly you should be happy that I am not a dick and did not toss you out of class.”

  “Really?” I said as I crossed my arms on my chest and he smiled, his teeth white and straight…pretty, just like the rest of him was.

  “I am joking, Fay,” he said as he leaned up and reached out. His fingertips touched my arm and I sighed. I uncrossed my arms and looked around the café. He did too.

  “Listen, if you feel weird just tell me. I will leave. I really just wanted a chance to say that I am sorry, I did not mean for it to be like this and for you to feel as if I was tricking you.”

  He started to stand up and I looked up at him.

  “Okay,” I said to him as he stopped and sat back down. He grinned as I stared into his eyes.

  “My book is dirty.”

  He leaned up and smiled. “So you were saying.”

  “Do you, ummm, want to read a little bit of it?”

  He hesitated and glanced down at the laptop and then back up at me. “Am I old enough to be reading this type of stuff?”

  I laughed and then he did too. “I would say yes.”

  I slid the laptop to him and he turned it while I sat there. I suddenly got a rush of adrenaline as I thought about what he was about to do. I placed my hand on the top of it as he started to open it up.

  “Just…it is totally fictional.”

  He nodded to me. “I know, and thank you for allowing me to see something so private.”

  I took my hand from the top of it and tried to relax. He opened it up and started at the beginning as I sat there and sipped my drink. I watched as he read it, a couple of times he rubbed his neck and then when got through to
the end of the train car scene he sat back and stared at me. His expression blank.

  “Okay, so…do you want to take a walk or something?” I asked him and he nodded to me. I laughed. “You okay?” He nodded to me without saying a word.

  I stood up and so did he, his reaction was delayed so I could go first, which was nice to see. Most of the time, I deal with men who have one thing on their minds, sex. Well, sex and drinking. I am sure there are some who don’t here, but I had not met them yet. I looked up as Keegan walked to the door and held it open for me. I smiled at him and then glanced back at the girl behind the counter. She winked at me and I accepted it, I could not pretend that I was not happy to be going someplace with him, even if it was just a walk. Sometimes it is not the place, but the person that is really the destination.

  We walked along the edge of the campus park as the moon hung large in the sky and the stars flanked it. I looked up and it reminded me of what Lia saw on the roof of the building the night she…well, when her adventure began. I looked over and saw Keegan staring at me and I grinned.

  “So, a professor at twenty-nine, I have to say I am impressed.”

  “Do you want to even discuss that train car Fay?”

  I glanced at him. “Not really.” He shook his head as he placed his hands into his pockets. We walked along and he looked up at the sky too. “Okay, ummm, yes, Assistant Professor and, well, if it was up to my parents I would have been doing this three years ago, but I needed time off, so I took a year to travel and shoot as much as I could.”

  “Is that where the pictures came from in your office?”

  He nodded and continued to walk next to me.

  “Yeah, all of them…well all but one. The one of the ocean was by a friend.”

  “A good friend?” I asked him and he glanced over at me as the moonlight played off of my hair and made it look as if it had some highlights in the black. He stopped and turned to me.

  “A girlfriend.”

  “Oh,” I said as the idea of one kind of irritated me and my tone probably gave it away. He bit his lip and then looked up at the sky.

  “You see that star?” he pointed up at the sky and I looked up.

  “Which one?” I asked as he moved behind me and leaned in. I cleared my throat as his body felt warm against me. I looked up as he formed a square with his hands and made a box that I could look through.

  “That bright one in the middle.”

  I tried my best to ignore him behind me. “Oh yes, I see it now.”

  “I bought that for her.”

  “Wow.”

  He lowered his hands and then I turned to him.

  “You bought her a star?”

  “Yes, I thought it was romantic at the time.”

  “Well it is. I mean, I think it is.”

  He started to walk again and I walked alongside him.

  “She wasn’t impressed, in fact, she said that I was avoiding the idea of commitment.”

  “I think buying a fucking star is pretty big.”

  He stopped and turned to me. “I thought so too but…”

  “But what?” I asked him.

  “It was for the wrong person,” he said to me and I knew then that she had left him.

  “So, did you love her?”

  He looked up at the star and then back to me.

  “Not really, I loved the idea of her, don’t get me wrong, I am not an asshole. I just thought she was beautiful, but it was skin deep. I wanted it to be her, but it never was.”

  I nodded to him and stared up at the star with him.

  “Well, she got a star out of the deal,” I said.

  “That poor star,” he muttered, as I laughed and so did he.

  “So…trains.”

  I looked at him and laughed, “Shut up.”

  Chapter Six

  Threesome

  I lay in my bed that night as Gemma snored on the other side of the room. It wasn’t enough to keep me up, but Keegan was. I thought about him leaning against me from behind and placing his hands above us so I could see his romantic gesture to someone I would never meet. I wondered what she looked like. I could not help it. He had called her beautiful, it did not bother me, I was sure that she was. I mean, Keegan was so attractive I had a hard time understanding why he was alone. I could feel the attraction between us, I had felt it from the moment he sat up in the booth and looked at me. I had known him for only a few days now and already he was making an impact on me. I know it may sound crazy but sometimes, when you meet someone, you feel as if you have known them forever. It is “comfortable” and that is what I felt with him. I closed my eyes, but sleep would not come. I slipped out of my bed and opened my laptop. I stared at the screen and remembered Keegan walking into the café as my mystery lover had faded out. Only now, they looked like each other and it was clearer than anything had been to me before. I placed my fingers to the keys and started to type, picking up right where I left off. With Lia and her crazy journey to find herself, and the lover who was starting to consume her, and perhaps, was starting to consume me too….

  ***

  I stepped out of the tub and he disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared to me. The water ran down my hardened body as I heard a growl low in my stomach again. It was followed by more burning. I had never been one to eat that much, so to be so hungry was starting to bother me. Perhaps this new awakening in me had turned on more than just my need to fuck. I grabbed a towel and turned towards the mirror on the wall. The steam from the hot water made it look as if I was floating on top of my tiled floor as I walked towards it. I stopped a foot out and reached up, swiping the steam away and I screamed when I saw people standing behind me in the mirror. I turned and I could not see anyone, but my heart felt as if it would race right out of my chest. I turned back and there they were, three men and the woman. The one with red hair who had come to me and led me back to him. She stepped up behind me and I felt her touch, her hand ran up the front of me, soft and yet willing to please. I could feel it, I could see it in the mirror, but when I looked down I saw nothing. I spun around again and no one was there. I leaned forward and could almost smell a faint scent of sandalwood in the air and as I did, the people all backed away from me, including her. I could not see them, but their reflections in the mirror behind me remained. I turned back and saw a flash of white as she ran out of view and scrambled to the large window that opened on its own. I ran to the window as the wind blew in and forced my hair back and upward. I leaned up to see out. I looked down and saw nothing but the flat side of the tall apartment building where I live. Every now and then, there was a large balcony protruding out, but I did not have one myself. All I had was large windows that allowed me to see the beautiful skyline. I turned and looked upward towards the roof and still nothing. There was no way that anyone could have left here out of the windows without falling to their deaths below. I leaned back in and turned back to the mirror. I saw no one in the room with me, but the terrifying confusion remained. Was I ill? Had I started to crack from the loss of Griffin? I could not be certain, but what I did know is I suddenly had a hunger and I needed to go out.

  I sat at the bar and sipped my wine; I had put on a black cocktail dress, high black heels, and curled my hair. I was still feeling a bit light headed, but I felt as if I needed to come out. It was a Saturday night, a night for people to mingle and find company. I wasn’t sure that I wanted any, maybe I just wanted attention. It had been that way since Griffin left me. He used to pay attention to me constantly, not only out, but at home. His strange obsession to every detail, including me, had left an indelible mark on me. Something I could not shake and was not sure if I ever could.

  I looked up at the bartender, who was young. Too young, or too young-looking for me, I should say. I prefer men who look a bit weathered and with that comes experience, most of the time. Griffin was eight years older than me and his age showed in the bedroom when he fucked me. He was slower at it, lasted longer inside of me and paid att
ention to my needs. I closed my eyes and let the wine warm my tongue and slide down my throat. I thought about the man in the train car. He had not seemed to be older, but his skill was beyond any I had encountered before. His ability to make me come was overwhelming. I lowered the glass from my lips, leaving a tiny smudge of red lipstick behind. I touched the base of my neck and sighed. My own touch almost as tender as the first touch he had given to me before I begged him to treat me as an enemy. To fuck me with distain, as I needed. I heard a voice and opened my eyes very quickly. I felt flush for a moment, forgetting where I was and realizing that I had started to move my hips on the high black leather chair beneath me. I turned my face to see who it was and I was somewhat taken back when I saw that it was the detective who I had just spoken with that morning. I was sure that I looked much better now, my hair done, make-up in place, my dress hugging my curves in all the right ways. He held his hand out to the chair next to mine and I nodded to him and sipped from my blood red wine again. He sat down and held two fingers up to the bartender who nodded to him. I grinned at the edge of my glass as he turned to me and spoke, his voice as calming as it had been to me when we met.

  “You look very pretty Miss Vine.”

  “How do you know I am not a Mrs.?” I said as I grinned.

  “Would it matter?”

  I raised an eyebrow and then looked at him. He looked “pretty” too, or handsome, would be a much better description. He had changed out of his suit and into something a bit less business-like. He wore nice jeans, a black button down shirt, and a black leather jacket. His shoes looked athletic, but expensive. He obviously cared about how he looked and I could appreciate that in him. I don’t think the will to look good should be held exclusively by women alone. His drinks arrived, one small shot glass and then a larger glass with a mixed drink in it. He slammed the shot back and hissed, turning the shot glass upside down and placing it on the counter. He then grinned at me and took his first drink of his cocktail. I smiled and set my glass down, fingering at its long slender neck. My fingers rose and fell on it and he watched them until I spoke.