by Jordan Marie
I’ve also lost track of how long I’ve been here. Everything is a blur from the moment I stepped outside the convent. I tried to keep count at first. Trying to judge the shift from day into night by the actions of people outside and how many meals they brought me. I think they bring one meal a day and it’s usually toward the evening. I know it’s evening when they feed me because there’s a skylight above me and when they take the top off, it’s the first thing I see.
The light hurts my eyes when they take the top off—a product of staying here in the dark for so long. I smell. There’s no way to get around it. There’s been no bathing, no personal hygiene concerns at all. There’s only me… my wooden prison and small bucket across from me that I’ve been forced to use as a toilet. It stinks—though thankfully it is emptied once a day.
I’m living like a dog in a pound… probably worse.
I think I have a fever. I can’t be sure. I’m always cold, but today I’m dizzy—even disoriented. I can hear voices around me, but I’m having trouble concentrating on them. I shake my head hoping to focus, but I end up moaning as the room spins harder.
“Sounds like the drugs are working.”
“About time. Jesus, I almost dread pulling her out of there. She smells like shit.”
I swallow down the bile that rises as I hear them talk about me. I instinctively know they’re talking about me, but I can’t…
“You would too if you’ve been in a box for a month. Stop your bitching and help me pull her out. The boss will be here today and he wants to see the merchandise.”
“Dude, what’s the endgame here? Do we even know? What the hell does he have planned?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
“But—”
“You’re getting a shit load of money for doing very little. Stop asking fucking questions. In our line of work that’s a sure way to end up dead.”
“Fine. Whatever. It seems a little screwed up if you ask me.”
“Nobody’s asking you shit. Let’s pull her out of the pen and clean her up. Boss wants her in those clothes he sent over.”
“Now that part I won’t mind.”
“What’s that?” I hear one of them ask as the top of my crate begins to move.
“Strippin’ the bitch. You see those Double Ds she’s packing? Won’t mind playing with those babies at all—not after we get rid of the smell.”
“Do whatever makes you happy. Just remember your dick don’t get in her, that’s our only rule.”
“Not like he’d know. Maybe that mouth…”
His words make the bile rush back and I vomit as the bright light from above pours inside my hell.
Devil
“You back for good, man?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “Got back in town last night.”
“Was beginning to think you were going to move down there with Beast,” Fury cracks.
“Aww. Did you miss me?” I crack.
“Like a case of the fucking shits,” he responds.
“How is Beast?”
“Finally happy.”
“Damn, really? Did he go back to his club?” Fury asks.
“Nah. Not yet. I think he and Hayden are going down that way in a couple of months. It will be hard for him, but I think with Hayden by his side he’ll be okay. She’s encouraging him to reconnect with his old life and his friends.”
“That’s good. Diesel said she was a good woman.”
“One of the best,” I agree and for the briefest second a picture of Torrent floats through my brain. I’ve done a good job of putting her behind me the last couple of months. I’ve had to. It’s stupid to miss a woman who was never yours. I do, but I’m learning to live my life. I’m not going to grieve over a woman who didn’t choose me—who walked away from me without a thought. It’d be stupid. Besides Diesel, Fury and the rest of them are right. Torrent already had her life planned out and her choices made. There was no room for me.
There never was.
That’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
“Good. Now all we need to do is to get you back in the saddle with women—”
“Already done, compadre,” I answer, cutting him off. I recline back and take a long pull off my drink. I think back to my little rendezvous with DD and Jenn. It wasn’t bad for what it was, even if DD was too damn clingy.
“No shit? Who is it?”
“No one important. Just a couple of ladies that are friends with Hayden.”
“Damn. Good for you. Sure as hell nice to have you back, old man.”
“Good to be back.”
“I’m headed out to Sal’s tonight. You want to go?”
Sal’s is a local strip club the boys hang out at a lot. I don’t really have the urge to go, but I shrug it off. I don’t really want to stay here either.
“Sure. Why not?” I ask.
I walk out with Fury toward our bikes.
I’m not going to lie. I think I did better away from Tennessee. Being back here makes me think of Torrent again, which fucks with my head. I ignore it though. Torrent is in the past. The one thing life has shown me lately is I want someone in my life that feeds my soul. I’ve seen what a difference it makes with Beast and that’s what I want. I doubt I’m going to find it at Sal’s, but I figure that’s better than waiting for her to fall in my lap here at the club.
“Where you guys headed?” Diesel asks as we make it to the garage.
“We’re going to head down to Sal’s and check out the new talent he has. Want to join us?” Fury asks. Diesel’s looking at me strangely. He’s been doing that since I rode back in today. I see questions in his eyes, but I ignore them.
“Why not? Ryan’s out for the night. Let me get Dani to check in on him,” he says.
We watch as he walks away and there’s something different about him. He’s been that way since the last kidnapping attempt. His constant worry over his son is slowly getting to him. Crusher mentioned he’s even talking about leaving the club and disappearing with Ryan. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen—but, it’s not like I could blame him if he does. Ryan needs to be his first priority.
“Diesel seem different to you lately?” Fury asks and I scratch my neck, wondering exactly how to answer that.
“He’s got a lot on his plate,” I finally say with a shrug and leave it at that.
“Yeah a night out at Sal’s might be what the doctor ordered for all of us,” Fury says.
Personally I think he’s expecting too much from a night at a strip club. I’m tempted to grab a bottle of Jack and go back to my room, but I don’t. I’ve made a decision to move on with my life and I’m damn well going to do it. I’m not getting any younger and I’m starting to feel way too old.
Torrent
“What the fuck are you doing?” a dark voice growls. My eyes are swollen shut. The world is black and I couldn’t see him if I wanted to. The voice sounds familiar though. I’m woozy, drifting in and out of consciousness, so I can’t concentrate enough on it.
“Nothing—only having a little fun,” the guy above me says. I hate him. I’ve vowed to myself over and over that if I ever get free I’m going to kill him first and I’ll make it painful. The only problem with that plan is that I’m beginning to think I won’t get free. Hell, even if I do I don’t know what this guy looks like. I’ll work around that, though, if I ever get the chance.
“You had strict orders not to hurt the merchandise, you fuck-head.”
“Haven’t touched her, just had to make sure she fell into line,” he says.
I feel a hand tightening in my hair and yanking my head up. I moan from the pain that radiates so intensely through my head that I have to struggle not to black out.
“Fuck, look at her, asshole. How do you know you haven’t given her brain damage?”
“What does it matter if I did? You just said you wanted her alive. I didn’t think you meant I—”
“You aren’t paid to think,” the man growls and I hea
r the sound of someone being slapped. “You’re paid to carry out my orders.”
“I thought you were working for—”
“It’s not who I’m working for. It’s the fact you’re working for me and I warned you. I don’t want the package harmed. I have her sold, you fuck-wad. He’s not going to want to pay for merchandise that looks like that!”
“What’s so special about this bitch anyway?”
“She’s wanted by a man willing to pay a fuck of a lot of money to get his revenge. She’s the card he’s going to play to get that revenge and because she’s that important you don’t fucking beat her until she’s unrecognizable. That’s all you need to know.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll lighten up. What’s the next step?”
“Nothing right now. Thanks to you being so damned stupid, we will have to wait until she looks better to play out the revenge. At least until the swelling goes down enough you can tell who she is.”
“How long?”
“A week. Keep your hands to your fucking self for a week. You need to bring her to heel, you do it without making a mark on her. You got it?”
“Got it.”
“Good. I’ll be in touch,” the man growls and then I hear his footsteps walking away. My mind replays everything I’ve heard, but I’m too tired. I’m fading fast. I let myself go under. I’ll try and replay everything later. Maybe I can find a clue as to who is pulling the strings then.
Right now it’s taking too much effort.
Dodger
“I still say you shouldn’t do this, Dodger man,” Wolf growls. Frustration is thick on his face.
Wolf is my right arm. I trust him like he was blood. Fuck, he’s the only man I can trust right now. I had to tell him about the note I found on my bike today. I rode into town to see if I could call some markers in and get some help. I’ve been going crazy trying to find a sign of Torrent. Getting the note saying they were willing to make an exchange—me for Torrent—was like an answer to a prayer. I’m not coming out of this alive. I’ve already accepted that. It doesn’t matter. As long as I can save my daughter that’s all I need. Wolf is going to help me do that. He’s all I have. At least I know he loves Torrent. He’s been in love with her for years. He’ll protect her with his life. That’s all I can concentrate on now. I can’t be here to watch her spread her wings and find her way in life. I can only trust my best friend to make sure she’s happy and I know he will.
“I don’t have a choice, Wolf. They got my girl.”
“So we go in there and get her—together.”
“They know what I’m doing before I fucking do it. I can’t trust my own club.”
“We need another day or two, damn it. We’ll find the mole and get it taken care of.”
“What happens to Torrent while we’re here playing with our dicks and—”
“They’re not going to do anything with Torrent. They want to use her to get you, Dodger. We—”
“And they’re getting me. I can’t risk not falling to their demands. They want me to meet them out at the Watershed.”
“The Watershed?”
“The old closed marina out on Route 38.”
“Shit, that place has been closed for twenty years. At least let us—”
“Exactly. I go in defenseless as fuck and give them exactly what they want—”
“You can’t…”
“And while I’m doing that, you come in with the three men of our club that we can trust and you get my girl.”
“Damn it, Dodger. You’re asking me to help you die.”
“I’ve lived a good life. I don’t give a fuck about dying—not if it means my girl will live.”
“How do you think Torrent will like the fact that you’re trading your life for hers?”
“She will understand in time.”
“Bullshit.”
“You’ll make her understand,” I tell him finally, looking up into his face and stopping just short of pleading for him to understand. I’ve never begged a motherfucker for one thing in my life, but I need Wolf to not fight me on this. I need him to make sure that Torrent not only survives this, but that she comes through it stronger and happier. Wolf is the key to that. My daughter is headstrong. She’s like me in that respect and she will blame herself for my death. She’s tried to fight having a life in the club, but in time she will see that the club is her family and that Wolf is strong enough to let her spread her wings, but make her happy too. They will be a good match.
“You’re putting a lot of faith in me. Torrent hasn’t ever listened to one thing I’ve said, Dodger. There’s no guarantee she will in this either.”
“When I’m gone, she’ll look to you. She has trust in you, Wolf. My daughter might be stubborn, but she’s smart.”
“Hey, Dodger. You asked me to let you know if I saw anything funny during our lockdown,” Big Tom says, opening the door, his face somber.
“Yeah?”
“Oh sorry. Didn’t know you were in here, Wolf, but this can’t wait.”
“What is it?” I ask Big Tom. Tom stands about 6’4” and he weighs about three hundred fifty pounds. He’s bald on the top of his head and his salt and pepper hair on the sides is cut short. I trust him almost as much as I trust Wolf. He and Wolf alone have been with me from the beginning. They’re the only two left that I’m comfortable telling my plans to. There’s two other men I feel are relatively safe, but the truth is when it comes to Torrent, I can’t truly trust anyone but Wolf.
“Crash snuck out of the club a couple of hours ago. I did as Wolf ordered and I didn’t stop anyone from leaving, so when Crash snuck out of the bunker, I laid back and followed him.”
“Where did he go?”
“He drove out to the old marina. The one that—”
“Fuck! Crash is the mole?”
“It makes sense,” Wolf says. “He’s a transplant from another club. His loyalty wouldn’t go as deep.”
“I gave him a fucking home here. I let him into our lives,” I growl, betrayal sitting deep in my gut, burning like a damn knife stabbing into me with a death blow.
“Is he still there?”
“Yeah. I left Dub watching the place.”
“They better not see him,” I mutter, still wrapping my mind around the fact that I finally know who in my club has been trying to get me.
“They won’t, Dodger. You know how Dub is. If he doesn’t want you to see him, you won’t.”
“Now we need to plan our next move.”
“We already know it,” I tell Wolf and our eyes lock.
“Dodger, now that we know who the mole is—”
“It changes only one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m killing that motherfucker before I die,” I vow. My options are limited, but if I have to wrestle the Grim Reaper himself to stay alive long enough to end Crash, I will.
“Damn it, Dodger—”
“Torrent is all that matters, Wolf. You know that. That’s why I brought you into this. I can’t do it alone.”
“Damn it,” he mutters again.
“You love her. I couldn’t trust her life in anyone else’s hands,” I tell him. I see the exact second he accepts what I’ve already figured out is inevitable. I don’t have a death wish. I hope a miracle happens and I survive.
I’m just pretty sure it’s not going to.
Torrent
“Why are you doing this?” I ask again.
I don’t expect an answer. I never get an answer. The response isn’t verbal this time either. Instead, I’m blasted with the cold spray of the water hose. Water surges against my face. It’s ice cold and a combination of the temperature and the way it’s sprayed directly at my face work together to take my breath away.
I sputter and gasp, turning my head to the side and holding my hands up—all in some weak attempt to protect myself. That’s a joke. There’s no protecting myself. I couldn’t even manage to beat them away from me so I could keep my clothes on.<
br />
I’m not sure which is actually worse. Being hosed down, or standing naked in front of a man I don’t know and unable to see anything but the outline of him. I feel so powerless, like I have no control and I have to wonder if I will ever have control again. Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to come out of this alive. I’ve thought about the people in my life, and wished I could at least say goodbye to a few of them.
This is going to hurt my father so much. Losing my brother destroyed pieces of him, but if he loses me too… I swallow down the misery that threatens to drown me.
I feel the water slow and then—thankfully—it is taken away. I take in a deep breath. That is just as painful. My body is so sore from the beatings. I know my ribs are cracked—if not broken. He hasn’t beaten me today and I’m thankful at least for that small mercy.
I hear steps walking toward me and try not to be scared, but I can’t stop that emotion. I’ve been scared since I stepped outside of the convent. I’ve felt it for so long, it suffocates me now. I feel his hand wrapping around my hair, gathering it, holding it tight at the scalp.
“You’re a hot little piece even looking like you do. I ought to break you in a little more for my boss, don’t you think?”
I don’t respond, but inside I’m shaking like crazy. I hope he thinks it is from the cold. I don’t want to show that I’m scared—not to these monsters.
“What do you think? I bet you know how to suck a man dry, don’t you? How about you show me what you can do with that mouth of yours?” he growls and then he uses his hold to force me to my knees.
I start screaming, I can’t stop myself. I already feel lost and completely at my kidnapper’s mercy. The thought of being forced… of them forcing themselves on me terrifies me beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I know that if something like this happens, if this man is allowed to do that to me there will be pieces of me that I will never get back—parts of me that will not survive.