by Jordan Marie
Anyone else, I’d nail to the wall—with my fist.
Not Crusher. For one, Crusher doesn’t take shit. I made him my VP for a reason. We’d be a pretty even match, but my heart wouldn’t be in hitting the asshole. But, even that’s not the reason I don’t slap him down.
The reason is guilt.
I’m the reason that Crusher is here. I convinced him to leave Dragon’s crew and start over here. He and his old lady both needed it, and I needed someone I could trust to help me build a club that could wear the Savage name proudly. Until we put roots down here in Tennessee and Crusher came, my crew was mostly nomads searching for a home. Crusher was the first piece of the puzzle that made us… a family.
“I’m tired. I’ve been fighting this unseen enemy for too fucking long. I can’t keep it up.”
“Leaving isn’t going to fix that,” Fury answers.
“It might,” I respond with a shrug. “The club is the reason I have enemies. It’s definitely my enemies that are bankrolling Vicki’s madness. She’s not smart enough to do this shit on her own. Christ, I know you all mean well, but you don’t know what it’s like. You see it… but you don’t live it every fucking night. I’m tired. I’m bone tired.” I lay it out for them, because I’m damn tired of fighting.
“You’re not thinking this through,” Gunner says. He’s a former member of Dragon’s crew too. He joined up a few months back. He and Freak couldn’t work together anymore. They were brothers in the crew, but they were also brothers in real life. There’s a story there and I didn’t ask the particulars, I only know that Gunner needed a place to land. With Dragon’s blessing I opened my doors. I need men I can trust and Gunner is definitely one of those.
“I am,” I argue, but he’s not wrong. I’m tired of thinking. I just want some peace.
“If the enemy finds you or Ryan and we’re a part of your life, we can help. You leave the club, and the club protection, how in the fuck are we supposed to help you if you get into trouble? We won’t know a damn thing about it. Think this through, Diesel, man. Every man in this club would die to protect you and Ryan,” Crusher adds.
“I don’t want you to. I don’t want a single one of my men dying because of my choices.”
“Christ, you don’t even know if it’s your choices that’s to blame for this shit.”
“Maybe not, but Vicki is my mistake and she’s tangled up in this crap. That’s definitely on me. It’s my mess and it’s not the club’s place to clean it up,” I argue with them all.
I know they all mean well. Crusher, Gunner, Fury… all of them, they care about me. We are a family, so I get they’re upset. But this is my life. This is the life of my child. I’m tired of staying here and being a sitting duck—not knowing what to expect. It’s time I take control and change up the battlefield.
It might be the wrong move, but fuck, at least it’s a move.
“So that’s it?”
“That’s it,” I answer Crusher. He’s not happy, it’s written all over his face, but he’s not going to argue with me any further and I guess I should be thankful for that.
“When do you leave?” Gunner asks.
“Not until we get Devil home safe. He’s in some hot water up that way with a girl.”
“Jesus, when is that man going to learn to keep it in his pants?”
“This is different. I’ll explain later,” I tell Gunner, cutting him off. “For now we need to talk to him and I want Fury and at least three of the prospects to head out to help him.”
“He didn’t let on like there was anything serious,” Fury argues. “You sure about this, Diesel?”
“I’m more than sure,” I answer, pulling out my cellphone. I frown when the call connects but goes straight to Devil’s voice mail.
“Gunner, get Scorpion to do a trace and locate on Devil’s phone. It’s ringing into voicemail.”
“Fuck,” Fury growls, probably because he knows Devil is addicted to that damn phone. He would never leave it unwatched.
“Let’s forget about me and concentrate on Devil. My gut is telling me he’s in trouble, and my gut is rarely wrong.”
“Looks like I’m headed back to Murfreesboro,” Fury responds.
“We’ll be lucky if we all aren’t,” I tell him once I try Devil’s phone and he still doesn’t answer.
Something is going on and it’s not good. I feel it.
Why can’t anything be simple anymore damn it!?!?!?
Devil
I know I need to wake up, but the temptation to remain sleeping is strong. I need to stay alert, but I think that may be more than I have in me right now. I can’t be sure how long I’ve been here. A rough guess says not long. I keep drifting in and out, but I don’t think it could be over two days.
I know if my club discovers I’m gone they’ll stop at nothing to come and save me. The problem is I’ll most likely be dead before they know. The only one who might miss me right away is Torrent and after the way we left things, she’ll not think anything of me disappearing. I played right into Wolf’s hands like some wet-behind-the-ears pup, walking into a slaughter. If I had the energy, I’d be pissed at myself.
The pain in my upper arms, shoulders and even my elbow is indescribable right now. They’ve roped my wrists and then strung me up on a hook, leaving me about three feet off the floor. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s left my arms taking all my weight—and right now that’s dead weight.
If there’s a bright side, I think the bleeding has stopped from my head. It feels dried and tight against my skin now, and my vision is back, though still a little blurry. I have so much pain in other places, it’s hard to tell but I think my headache has lessened too.
They’ve done little more than ignore me since they strung me up, but I know that too is coming to an end soon. There’s been talking behind me. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can make out words here and there. There’s two distinct voices, so I doubt it’s party time just yet. Wolf’s not here. He’ll want to be the one to finish me off. I know because I’d be the same with him.
I’m not going to get that chance now. It’s not that I’m giving up, it’s that I’m a realist. My men are hours away and most likely don’t even know I’m in trouble. After the way I left things with Torrent, I doubt she does either.
I fucked up there. I always knew my life could get me killed. I didn’t take it for granted and I’ve lived a good fucking life. If I have any regrets at all, it’s Torrent. We needed to have it out, but I should have kept my head a little more. I shouldn’t have been so damn harsh. I hate that her last memory of me will be…
“Well, boys, it looks like our little doggie has finally woke up.”
I blink and slowly bring my gaze to the right. Wolf is standing there leaning on a bat. There’s nails sticking out of the sides, and barbed wire too. No wonder I went down like a baby before. That fucker has been watching too much television. Still, I have to say that will be effective. Too bad I can’t mention it to Diesel.
“Did you have a nice little nap?” Wolf asks.
“Not really. The accommodations here suck,” I answer.
I try to keep my voice cocky if for no other reason than to not give the bastard any satisfaction, but son of a bitch, it comes out weak.
“You hear that, boys? Our little puppy’s not comfortable. We’ll have to see what we can do to make that better,” Wolf says and I close my eyes.
I’m not stupid. I know what’s coming. With any luck it will kill me, but I have a feeling whatever Wolf does, it will be slow. He’ll want to draw this out.
“Fuck you,” I groan as his bat connects with my knees and tears into my flesh.
“Shut up, puppy. I don’t have time to talk. I have to hurry. I have a date with my woman in a bit. You remember Torrent, right? While you’re hanging here, bleeding to death, I’ll be sliding in her bed. I’ll make sure to show her exactly how a real man treats a woman,” he yells and this time the bat hits me in the stomach. T
he hit is harder, the nails claw into the skin and the barbed wire holds onto the flesh so that when he pulls the bat away, pieces of my skin are torn away too. The pain is so intense I can’t respond to Wolf. I can only scream and prepare for the next hit.
And pray I pass out again soon…
Wolf
“You look beautiful tonight, Torrent,” I whisper, putting my hand over her smaller one and bringing it to my lips.
She’s quiet tonight. I can see she’s upset and I know it’s over Devil. She’ll get over it eventually. She’ll have to. Her little boyfriend will soon be dead—if he’s not already. There’s more pieces of him on my bat than there was left on parts of his body. I got a little carried away. I saw bone on pieces of his leg and it’s amazing how great my tool works on the face. The barbed wire cut through beard and all. Pretty boy is not so pretty anymore. Not that it matters. He’ll never see the outside world again. I’ll leave him in pieces and bury those where only the vultures can find his remains.
What I’m not so sure of is Torrent. I’ve wasted a lot of years on her, only to have her ignore my advances. Then, when she should have turned to me for comfort, she goes to another man. I was intrigued by her and fuck, I’ve wanted her for a lot of years. It’s not the same now.
Before she was a spitfire that made my balls ache and was begging to be dominated and tamed. Now, she’s a shell of the woman she used to be. Part of that is my fault.
Well, not really.
This can all be laid at Crash’s feet. That fucker messed so much shit up, I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the screw-ups he made. That’s why I had to kill him. Well, that and I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t let it slip that I was the one behind the plot to kill Dodger. Crash was a loose end; he had to die. Still, the fact he hurt Torrent the way he did… That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Torrent was a tool to get to her old man, but she wasn’t to be harmed. I wanted her healthy and intact. I didn’t want her damaged. I wanted her fire. I wanted to be the one to quench it. Crash fucked all that up for me too. This Torrent holds no fucking appeal, or maybe that’s the stink of Devil on her, hiding it. I might give her a go just to see.
Regardless, Torrent is a piece of the puzzle that I need. A lot of Dodger’s men, the loyal ones, are suspicious of me. They’re not keen about sitting under me as their leader. I don’t really give a fuck, but a club can’t stand without muscle and it’s going to take a while to find men I trust to watch my back in the meantime. If Torrent was my old lady, they’d fall in line. Then, once I had men in place, if they piss me off I’ll get rid of them. This club is mine and finally I’m going to see to it that it will be run the way I want it to be. Dodger’s fuck-ups with the trafficking cost us some serious money and made enemies we did not need to have. I’ve smoothed that over, but who the fuck knows with the Koreans? They weren’t exactly filled with happiness when I told them Crash and Jin were dead.
I didn’t try to save them. They could have pointed the finger at me, but with Crash gone it has definitely been harder finding my footing with them. Chul—the leader—has an American step-brother called King. I’ve been trying to get him on my side, but he’s staying distracted over trying to get his boy from its mother or some shit.
I want kids. Torrent would probably breed some good ones, but I can’t help but think they’d be weak now. She has more of her father’s blood than I gave her credit for. I was hoping she’d be like her mom. Layla was hot as fire. No man could tame her.
Dodger sure didn’t have it in him. That’s why she came looking to me. Sweetest fuck I ever had and wild as a damn mink. We were perfectly matched, until she thought she should come clean to Dodger. She wanted to be my old lady. Started to get jealous as fuck and ignored Torrent and Luke completely.
I had to silence her. I gave her a good time before I did it. I let her ride my cock and when she was about to climax, I choked the life out of her. To this day it was the hardest I’ve ever come in my life.
If only Torrent had a little of her mother’s fire…
“Wolf? Are you listening?” Torrent asks, and I jerk myself out of my memories. I’ve got to concentrate on the here and now. I still have moves I need to make.
“Sorry, baby. It’s been a rough day. Running this club was never what I wanted. Some days are harder than others. I sure miss your daddy,” I lie.
Torrent’s face goes pale, and I contain my smile as she trembles. Her hand reaches out to mine and she holds it tight.
“God. I do too. It’s so empty without him here—isn’t it, Wolf?”
“It is. I still expect the bastard to come storming in ready to tell me some damn story and make me laugh.”
“I keep having nightmares of him. He’s trying to tell me something, but I can never understand.”
“It’s the trauma, Tor. You saw too much. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you sooner.”
“I owe you so much. More than what I’ve given you, that’s for sure. I need to talk to you about something, Wolf, but I’m… scared.”
Fuck… that right there… weakness. The Torrent I wanted would never admit to being scared. I manage to keep the distaste off my face, but it’s not easy. I can’t play my hand yet.
Not yet.
“You never have to be scared with me, Torrent. You’re always safe with me. You know that. Your father knew that. I will always protect you.”
“I know. My father loved you so much, Wolf. You were the only one he truly trusted.”
That’s because he was a stupid son of a bitch.
“It will be okay, Torrent. You’ll heal and I’ll be here to help you. Don’t keep things inside. I want to be your friend too, you know. I want to be here in any way you will let me. You can tell me anything.”
“You might not after I tell you what I…have to tell you,” she says and I stop myself from rolling my eyes.
Get it over with, bitch.
“Tell me, baby,” I urge.
“I’ve been seeing… Devil.”
I pull back, trying to act like what she’s telling me is a shock. I should win a damn Oscar.
“When did this happen, Torrent?”
“While you were away. I went to him to ask him to leave. I was afraid him being here would upset you more and I… I didn’t want that.”
Maybe she’s smarter than I gave her credit for.
“It kind of just…happened, Wolf. I didn’t plan it—I swear.”
“I thought you promised to give us a real shot, Tor. I love you,” I tell her, my voice so full of disappointment and sadness, it’s hard not to cackle at the shame that swamps her face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice so full of guilt, I can’t help but find some satisfaction in it.
“So, your decision is made,” I answer and then breathe heavily, as if I have any intention of losing gracefully.
“Well, yes. I’m sorry. Of course it’s not like it matters anymore. Devil hates me.”
“No one could hate you, Tor.”
Except for me. I’m getting there faster and faster.
“He does. He left. He went back to his club,” she whispers and fuck if the waterworks don’t start. I hope I can make it through this fucking dinner without choking her like I did her mother.
Torrent
I shouldn’t be talking to Wolf, I guess. I know that it would upset Devil even more, but he left and I’m alone. I don’t have friends. I had my father and his men. Other girls stayed away from me because of my family and those that didn’t… they used me to try and get closer to the men. I learned the hard way friendships weren’t worth it.
“He left you?” Wolf asks. I can hear the shock in his voice. Maybe he finds it hard to believe, but then he doesn’t know everything I’ve put Devil through. Devil deserved better. I’m surprised he stayed around as long as he did.
“He was upset because I wouldn’t let him talk to you. He wanted to tell you about our relationship. I wasn’t going to hide it from you, Wolf,
I promise. I felt I needed to be the one to tell you. I didn’t want to spring it on you. I felt I owed you more than that.”
“Well, you were right.”
“I was?” I don’t know if I’m shocked or confused by Wolf’s answer. I didn’t expect a man to see my side.
“Of course you were, Tor. We have a special relationship and a lot of years between us. It hurts knowing that you found someone else to make you happy. You know how much I love and care for you. I’ve made no secret of the dreams I had for the two of us.”
“Wolf—”
“It’s okay, baby. I just meant, as much as it hurts now, it would have hurt a lot more if you hadn’t been the one to tell me.”
“That’s what I thought. I wanted to make Devil understand, but I couldn’t. It’s… you’re my family, Wolf. You’re all I have left. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t lose me, Torrent,” he murmurs and then he pulls me in to kiss me gently. There’s nothing romantic or sexual about it. It’s meant to reassure me and I try to hold on to it. I need Wolf right now. I don’t have my father and now… I don’t have Devil. Eventually I will get stronger and I won’t need anyone again. Someday…
“Thank you for being so understanding—especially under the circumstances, Wolf.”
He pulls back, and smiles at me, though I think he’s still sad.
“Maybe it’s because I’m older than this Devil and mature, but it could be because I love you so deeply. All I really want is for you to be happy.”
“Devil makes me happy,” I assure him. “I have to find him.”
“I can’t believe he left you, Tor. That’s not right. Maybe he doesn’t care for you—like you do him.”
“He cares. I mean, he’s never really said he loves me, but he definitely cares,” I murmur, trying not to let the doubts fill me.
“I don’t know this Devil enough to tell you either way, Tor. But I do know one thing.”