by Cindy Dees
She could do this. She wanted to help out, to make something good of her return to Sunny Creek. Maybe through service to others she could find a little relief from the crushing burden of her guilt. Brett had turned to building her a new kitchen to keep his hands and mind busy. Maybe she should take a lesson from him and find a project of her own. Except the project she craved was him. She dreamed of him at night, worried about his isolation, and wondered a hundred times a day how he was feeling.
It had started to snow by the time she got home, and she shook flakes out of her hair as she stepped inside her house. Her cell phone rang, and she dug it out of her jeans. “Hey, Vinny. What’s up?”
“I heard you had a broken window last night. I thought I’d call and let you know I have a piece of glass that will match the glass in those old windows I sold you.”
“Wow. That’s so thoughtful of you!”
“I can drive it over to Sunny Creek if you want.”
“Oh, gosh. That’s too much for me to ask of you.” Even though she was without a car at the moment, she was determined not to become a charity case. In Los Angeles, she’d been forced into living a trashy life that often embarrassed her and occasionally humiliated her. She’d sworn to herself that life after Eddie would be different.
To Vinny, she said, “I’ll come over as soon as I can to pick it up.”
“Tonight?”
She rolled her eyes. The guy wasn’t the least bit subtle about wanting to date her and was so awkward about it that he was almost—but not quite—cute. “Maybe. It’ll depend on how soon I replace my car.” She got off the phone fast before he could insist on bringing over the replacement windowpane.
She’d no sooner hung up her coat than somebody pounded on her front door as if they were trying to break through it. Alarmed, she moved over to peer through the peephole. What was Brett doing here?
Her heart leaped in her chest, as if it hadn’t beat for days and was jump-starting now, at the sight of him. Blood rushed through her body and nerves came alive. Even her mind shed the sluggish depression of the past few days and she felt awake. Energized.
She opened the door and he blew past her, barging into her living room and demanding, “Why didn’t you call me and let me know someone threw a brick into your house?”
“Because it was only a window. It was an act of vandalism, not a death threat.”
His blue eyes narrowed in frustration. “Someone is willing to damage your property. Who’s to say they’re not willing to damage you? Whoever threw that brick is acting out on rage.”
Well, when he put it like that, he did give her pause to think. “I won’t be run out of my own house, Brett.”
“Not in the long term, no. But in the short term, you need to stay somewhere safe so Joe can figure this out without having to spend half his time and energy protecting you from more attacks.”
She hadn’t thought of it like that. The sheriff’s department wasn’t exactly brimming with spare guys sitting around waiting to take care of her. Brett was right. She didn’t like it, but he was. “I suppose I could call someone. Ask to stay with them for a day or two. Maybe one of the other girls from the diner, or maybe the Rogerses.”
“You’re coming back to my place.” Brett’s voice was flat. Firm.
“I can’t!”
“Wanna bet?” He strode past her and into her bedroom. “Do you have a suitcase or am I just carrying out an armload of your stuff and throwing it in my truck?”
“Brett!”
He opened the top drawer in her chest of drawers and froze for an instant as he obviously realized it was her lingerie drawer. Then he lurched into motion, grabbing a handful of lace panties and bras and turning around to face her. Red and pink and lavender and black lace spilled from his fingers in a dazzlingly embarrassing display.
“Oh, for crying out loud. Give that stuff to me,” she demanded, snatching her underwear and stuffing it in a small suitcase she pulled out from under the bed.
While she pulled out jeans, shirts and socks for a few days, Brett marched into her bathroom and came back with shampoo, conditioner, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste and a random handful of makeup. She took a quick inventory and ducked back into the bathroom to get mascara and moisturizer.
Her cell phone rang again, and she frowned at it. Why was Vinny calling her back? “Hey, Vinny,” she said a little less patiently than before.
“Come over to Hillsdale tonight. I’ve got some steaks we can grill out behind the store, and I’ve got a cabinet that might work in your kitchen.”
“Oh. About that. I went ahead and ordered new cabinets. Brett Morgan convinced me that I might wait forever and not find cabinets the right dimensions for my kitchen.”
The silence on the other end of the line was palpably furious. Finally, Vinny muttered, “He did, did he?”
With scant patience, she said, “Look, Vinny, Brett is here now and I’m about to leave with him. I have to go.” She disconnected the call without any further ado.
Brett picked up the suitcase she carried out into the living room and herded her to his truck before she came up with any more protests. He’d been at her house a grand total of no more than two minutes.
“Has anyone told you that you do a decent imitation of a tornado?” she asked as they pulled away from her house and into the night.
“I don’t like to waste time. If something needs to get done, I do it.”
“For the record, it’s a little bit exhausting. And by the way, I can’t just go hang out with you on your mountain. I have work tomorrow.”
“I’ll send someone from the ranch down to fill in for you.”
“You can’t just take over my life like this, Brett.”
“I’m not taking it over. I’m saving it. That’s different.”
“I’m not in mortal danger. Not really. Jimbo and Mona are taking out their anger and grief on me right now, but they’ll get over it.”
“Until they do, you’re with me.”
She’d see about that. While a large part of her was grateful that he still gave a damn about her after she’d been a jerk to him, the rest of her was determined to take care of herself and not depend on anyone else.
For the first time in her life, she was strong enough to stand on her own two feet. Which, now that she thought about it, she no doubt owed entirely to Brett. She appreciated it immensely, but she couldn’t lean on him forever either. She had to take care of herself.
Chapter 14
Brett didn’t stop breathing hard until he’d pulled onto the ranch driveway. The ranch represented safety to him. Of course, it also represented a dozen full-time ranch hands who were all handy with a shotgun and not about to let one of their own get hurt. For that matter, Miranda was nearly as fine a shot as her ex-Marine husband.
The moon was shining tonight, bathing the white-tipped mountains in silvery light that made them look enchanted. The long valley stretched away in front of him, rising up toward the distant peaks that marked the western boundary of the ranch, and he let out a long sigh of relief. He knew this land, and his link to it sank into his bones. It was a part of him as much as he was part of it.
No matter that he’d fled this place as a teen and never come home until now. It hadn’t ever left him.
As the ranch and its inhabitants hunkered down into the slower, frozen rhythm of winter, he felt himself starting to slow down and breathe again, too. The woman beside him was a big part of that. She saw him. Really saw him. And she didn’t see a head case or a broken soul when she looked at him. She saw the man he was now—or maybe she saw the man he’d once been, a long time ago.
Either way, he felt a deep tie forming to her, as well. Like the mountains around them, she was solid. Dependable. With a quiet magic about her that called to him.
He parked at his cabin and grabbed Anna’s suitcase ou
t of the backseat. Reggie greeted him briefly at the door but then went over to Anna right away for an ear scratch. “Traitor,” Brett accused him.
Reggie smiled back and leaned against Anna.
Yeah, he liked her, too.
She asked curiously, “How much more snow can fall up here before you get snowed in? Even your truck has to have its limits.”
He shrugged. “It’s not uncommon to have ten feet of snow on the ground up here by the end of January. But there’s a snowmobile in the lean-to behind this cabin. I tuned it up earlier this week. It’s good to go.”
“You are Mr. Preparedness, aren’t you?”
He shrugged modestly. “This is wild country. You have to take the weather seriously up here.”
“It amazes me how different Sunny Creek is from here, and yet we’re only a dozen miles away.”
“Yes, but there’s a four-thousand-foot altitude change between there and here.”
She laughed. “I know. I feel it when I try to move fast.”
“You’ll get used to it in a week or two. If you get a persistent headache, let me know. You might have a little altitude sickness. I can take you down to the main house. It’s about two thousand feet lower than this cabin.”
“I wouldn’t dream of imposing on your parents.”
“Have you seen the size of that place? They would hardly notice you were there. I got lost in it for the whole first week I was home.”
He moved over to the kitchen counter and pulled out the makings of tea. “Would you like something hot to drink?”
“You’re drinking tea now?” She sounded surprised.
“I figured I needed a break from booze if I was going to be handling weapons again.”
“Well that’s responsible of you.”
He glanced up at her and pulled a wry face. “When I’m not wallowing in depression and guilt, I’m a reasonably responsible guy.”
He took two mugs of steeping tea and carried them over to the sofa. He handed one to Anna.
She murmured, “You never did tell me about how you ended up leaving the military and coming home.”
His entire body tensed. “Don’t try to be my shrink,” he warned her carefully.
“I’m not. I’m just curious. I assume it had to do with the same attack that ended Reggie’s career?”
“Yeah,” he answered shortly.
“I thought it’s supposed to be good to talk about these things,” she commented.
“I don’t know. How keen are you to tell me all the gory details of Eddie’s death?” he snapped. “I looked it up on the internet. I know you held the knife he impaled himself on. But why don’t you tell me the stuff the newspapers didn’t cover. How it smelled. What it was like to feel a blade slide into human muscle. How it made you feel. Go ahead. Let’s see how eager you are to talk about all of that.”
She shut down as if he’d flipped a switch in her brain. Her face froze, and the expression in her eyes became guarded.
“I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have poked at that. I know it’s a sore subject for you.”
She smiled at him sadly. “If only it were just that.”
Yeah. He knew the feeling.
They sipped their tea in silence, each lost in their own memories. He only hoped hers weren’t as horrible as his.
At length, she finished her tea and carried her mug over to the sink. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch. You take the bed,” he responded.
She frowned. “You’re too long for that sofa. You should take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
He snorted. “My mama would tan my hide if she thought I relegated any guest of mine to a lumpy old sofa.”
“Well, I’m not letting you sleep on it, either.” She huffed. “We’re adults, for crying out loud. We can share the same bed without falling all over one another.”
Speak for herself. His hands literally itched to touch her. He nodded tersely, mentally girding himself for a very long night to come. “You use the bathroom first.” He added in an attempt at levity, “Then you can crawl into the cold bed first and warm it up for me.” He owed her some laughter after dredging up bad memories of Eddie’s death.
She smiled halfheartedly, more in appreciation of his effort than actual humor.
At least she didn’t seem determined to put up any more fight over the sleeping arrangement.
She disappeared into the bathroom, and in deference to her modesty, he pulled on running shorts and a T-shirt to act as makeshift pajamas. Which was kind of ridiculous, given that she’d had her hands and mouth all over him before. Still, he was doing his damnedest to be a gentleman, here.
He turned out the bathroom light and slipped into the bed. His side was ice cold. “Brrr!” he complained.
She commented from her side of the bed. “Mmm. I’m nice and toasty.”
“Don’t tempt me, woman.” He rolled over half on top of her, and she squealed as his cold body hit hers. “Better,” he declared.
The humor faded from his eyes as he stared down at her in the moonlight. “I’m sorry I took that potshot at you about your ex. I know that’s a painful subject for you.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry I poked at your past. I suppose it’s all classified anyway and you couldn’t talk about it even if you wanted to.”
It would be easy to lie to her, to agree that he wasn’t allowed to talk about the incident. But the truth was, it just hurt. And the frustration of not remembering got to him sometimes. “It’s not classified,” he admitted. “But here’s the thing. I was in command of a group of guys and we went out on a patrol. Something bad happened, and four of them died.”
She stared up at him with sympathy brimming in her eyes. “And you feel responsible,” she breathed.
He shook his head. “It’s worse than that. I don’t remember what happened. I don’t know if I’m responsible or not.”
She reached up to lay a soft palm on his cheek. “And not knowing is killing you.”
He hadn’t ever thought of it in such simple terms. “Something like that.”
“Will you ever recover your memory, or is it gone for good?” she asked.
He rolled on his back and threw his arm over his eyes. “The doctors don’t know. They sent me here, home, to the ranch, to see if the relaxing, familiar setting would help me remember.”
“But it hasn’t?”
“Not yet. I have a lot of nightmares, but that’s about it.”
“Maybe those are pieces of it coming back,” she said hopefully.
“Nope. They’re just violent and involve people I love dying horribly.”
“I’m so sorry, Brett. Is there anything I can do to help?”
He laughed shortly. “The first time I didn’t have nightmares after I came home was the night we made love.” He was not going to ask her for sex so he could escape his private hell. God knew, she had a hell of her own to deal with.
He felt her weight shift and uncovered his eyes to see her leaning over him, propped up on her good elbow. “I’ve missed you,” she said softly.
“Not half as much as I’ve missed you,” he replied soberly.
“Show me?”
He did not need a second invitation. It was a minor miracle that she’d found her way back to him and he wasn’t about to blow it this time.
* * *
Anna woke up slowly, aware at first of being warm and safe. Then she registered a muscular arm across her stomach. Brett. She smiled lazily, contented and sated after a long night of lovemaking in the cool moonlight streaming in his bedroom window. The dawn was soft and gray, but snow-bright light came in the room—it must have snowed more after they fell asleep. Frost rimmed the windowpanes, announcing that it had gotten colder, as well.
In no hurry to
get up, she turned under Brett’s arm and snuggled close to his big body. Who knew it could be this nice to sleep with a man? She had always huddled at the far edge of the bed, as far away from Eddie as possible. He hated being disturbed and accused her of putting the bags under his eyes any time she woke him up.
Brett’s lips moved lazily against her temple and he murmured, “Good morning.”
“How did you sleep?” she murmured.
“Fantastic. Nightmare free.”
She smiled against his chest. “I’m sorry I woke you—”
“I’m glad you did. I would hate to miss a minute of feeling you in my arms like this.” One dark blue eye peeled open. “But it’s still early. Go back to sleep, love.”
Love.
She froze, stunned. Did he realize what he’d just called her? Surely it was just an endearment. Like calling her darling or baby. It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t a pronouncement of the big L.
He snored gently, and she let out a careful relieved breath. Nope. It hadn’t meant anything. Thank goodness. She didn’t know how she felt about the idea of anyone ever loving her, let alone loving her now, before she’d paid back her debt to society somehow.
Gradually, the tension drained from her and she managed to doze again. The next time she woke up, teeth were nibbling lightly on her ear, and she giggled at the sensation.
“I suppose now I’ve slept far too late and it’s high time I get up,” she declared.
“Baby, you can stay in my bed all day long if you’ll let me do naughty things to you while you’re here.”
After last night’s marathon, she couldn’t believe he was still up for more sex. She’d known Eddie didn’t take care of his health over the years, but she’d had no idea how much it had impacted his stamina. “Do you ever get tired?” she asked Brett playfully.