by JoAnna Grace
“We’re kind of seeing each other.”
Conall studied her, making her squirm. “That poor wolf is going to have trouble with you.”
“Martin?”
“Ezekiel.” Conall kissed her temple and walked away, muttering under his breath about how he needed fresh air.
So did she.
Ami shifted and ran to a high spot where she could perch on a branch and watch the creek run below. If anything, talking with Conall confirmed one thing. When men looked at her, all they saw was a hot body. Amilynn wouldn’t necessarily trade her looks; they’d served her well. Her assets got her into a lot of clubs, made her a lot of money, and made men spill their secrets, all of which she used to her advantage.
That was all Ezekiel saw. He didn’t know her. He didn’t understand how her mind worked. He didn’t even try. All he knew was that she was hot, she was easy, and he might’ve had a chance at one time. Not now. There were some bridges you couldn’t rebuild.
SO PEACEFUL, VIVIAN sighed as she sat on the back patio in a cozy wicker chair. Her deep breaths hurt her abdomen, but she wanted to feel the fresh mountain air in her lungs. She closed her eyes, tilted her face to the midday sun, and listened to the wind whisper through the trees. Yes, peaceful indeed. Her belly was full from another fantastic Bianca-made meal. Before Kasey left for the office, he’d ordered her to rest and kick back. She was happy to obey.
“What’s up?” Amilynn sat in a chair next to her and stretched out her bare legs to embrace the sunshine. She wore blue jean cut-offs and a white tank top, her bronzed skin sleek and shining. The leopard print tattoo on her side could barely be seen under the cotton.
Vivian smiled at her and touched Ami’s hand. “Just enjoying a moment of fresh air and sunshine before our world once again explodes.”
“Don’t say that.” Ami rolled her eyes.
“It’s true. Tell me this doesn’t feel like the calm before the storm.”
Ami let out a rugged huff. “Look, you know I’m all for this whole wolf adoption thing you’ve got going, but seriously, I’m about to start an obedience school for these bitches.”
Vivian laughed, then moaned at the pain in her side. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”
The two of them sat in silence for a while, enjoying a wordless moment of camaraderie.
“Was it worth it?” Ami asked randomly. She didn’t need to expound. Instead, she put her arms behind her head and examined her toes like she hadn’t just opened a can of heavy.
Vivian closed her eyes and thought about everything they had been through in the last few weeks. It all seemed rushed and crazy and somewhat foolish at times. She’d rejected Kasey until she came into heat and her body betrayed her in the most vicious of ways. They’d come together in a time of pain and distress that seemed to overlap everything they did now.
At the same time, she’d grown to love Kasey with a marrow-deep passion she couldn’t explain. He’d rooted into her thoughts and heart so swiftly it would take nothing less than God himself to separate them.
Vivian placed a hand on her empty womb and took another painfully deep breath. It hurt too much to think about that loss, so she pushed it aside.
“I think so. I have my mate. My family is settled. What more could I ask for?” she said to Ami.
“Worth all this?”
“This what?”
“This submission, this getting shot, this losing your internal organs, this sacrifice.” Ami’s voice grew more agitated with every example. “This bullshit.”
“What’s bullshit? I’ve found my mate and life is changing. At some point, we have to face our past. We couldn’t run forever. My cat made her choice. I can’t avoid that. Neither can you.”
“Watch me.”
“I am watching you, damn it. Conall’s watching you. Tyrone’s watching you. Sampson’s watching you. Kasey’s watching you.”
“You people need a new hobby,” Ami grumbled.
“Don’t be stupid, Ami. Please? Will you just accept the inevitable and deal with it?”
Ami’s bitter laugh made Vivian cock her head over to look at her. “Deal with it? Is that what mating is like? Like dealing with a bad haircut or a rock in my shoe or a crying infant on a long flight? No thanks. I’ll pass.”
One day, Ami wouldn’t have a choice. Vivian shook her head. She hoped like hell Ami didn’t end up going into heat, forced into a sexual relationship with Ezekiel before her human side was ready. In many ways, Vivian wondered if she would’ve held out longer had she not gone into heat right after Kasey claimed her.
The back door of the house opened and closed. Vivian caught the sweet fragrance of her sister. Melissa pulled up a chair and sat down Indian-style. “Solving the world’s problems?”
“Nope, creating more.” Ami grinned.
“Not allowed.” Melissa pointed a finger at her. “I want no more problems than we have to handle. Otherwise, I’ll never get pregnant. My leopard is freaking out as it is.”
“When is your next heat?” Vivian asked, praying they wouldn’t be at war during that time.
“A few weeks. Amilynn’s right after me.”
“Not allowed,” Ami said, mimicking Mel’s earlier tone. “So if you get knocked up, does that mean I get to be the crazy aunt? Can I be the one who needs supervision when I supervise the ankle-biter?”
Melissa’s radiant smile stretched across her face and it warmed Vivian’s heart.
“No,” Vivian said. “I’m the crazy aunt. I get dibs on the crazy aunt title.”
Ami’s mouth dropped open. “Uh, no. I claimed it first. You’re all official-alpha lady now. You have to be the responsible aunt.”
“Bullshit,” Vivian argued. “I want to be the aunt the kid runs to and says, ‘We can’t tell Mom.’ I’m totally that aunt.”
Melissa held up her hands between them. “You can both be crazy aunts. The more the merrier.”
Once again, the back door opened and out came Bianca. She paused, looked at the three of them, and put her hand back on the door as if she might retreat. “Am I interrupting?”
Vivian recalled the conversation she and Kasey had about how Bianca didn’t know where she fit in with the three of them. She hit it off with Melissa because they were both submissives. But Amilynn and Vivian intimidated her, or so she told her brother. Come to think about it, Kasey probably wasn’t supposed to say anything. Men.
“You can settle this for us,” Vivian said, purposefully drawing her into their conversation. Bianca pulled up a chair. She was at least twenty years older than they were, but she didn’t look it. Her short black curls bounced with every word she spoke. The roundness of her cheeks was both endearing and adorable. She had blue-grey eyes that begged for trust. Most were pleased to give it. Bianca had the curves of a woman who knew her way around the kitchen, yet was still incredibly active with her three kids. She spoke softly, and when her eyes found Sampson, she always got this dreamy, dazed look.
“What is the debate?” Bianca said, settling in her chair with her legs crossed.
“Which one of us is going to be the crazy aunt?” Vivian waved her hand between herself and Ami.
They all laughed when Bianca slapped a hand over her face. “Oh, dear Lord in Heaven. There’s a toss-up.”
“Me, right?” Ami said. “Look how I am with Nate and Tom. I’m already like their crazy sister . . . or something.”
Bianca’s eyes traveled between Vivian and Ami. She pursed her lips, but couldn’t restrain her grin. “You’ll be different variations of crazy. Vivian will be the one that does things that Melissa shouldn’t find out about. Amilynn will be the one that says, ‘Holy crap; that’s cool. Let’s go freak out your mom.’ The kid will be in trouble all the time, let’s face it.” Bianca chuckled.
“I can live with that.” Amilynn winked at Melissa.
“Me too,” Vivian said.
“My husband is going to have to handle you guys. I refuse.” Melissa threw her hands up in the ai
r and shook her head. “I can’t deal as it is, much less if you have an adorable accomplice.”
“And my niece or nephew is going to be the most adorable little ankle-biter in the world.” Ami sat in Melissa’s lap and kissed her cheek. “She’s going to look just like her favorite auntie.”
“Which would be me,” Vivian said, putting a dramatic hand on her chest.
“Here we go again.” Bianca rolled her eyes, but her face was lit from within.
The four of them sat on the patio for over an hour, teasing and laughing as if their world wasn’t in the middle of a possible uproar. It was exactly what Vivian needed. They daydreamed about Melissa’s future babies and the way Ty would lose his mind if he had a little girl who looked like her mother.
Vivian’s mind touched on the thought of a little girl that looked like Kasey with her daddy’s blue-gray eyes and maybe her own auburn hair. Would she be a little sundae-colored wolf pup or a fuzzy tiger kitten? Whichever it was, she would’ve been loved. If only . . .
“V?” Ami snapped in front of her face. “You with us?”
Vivian blinked and focused. All three of them were staring at her. “I think all this craziness is making my stomach hurt.”
“Do you need to go lie down?” Melissa stood to help her.
“Yeah. Yeah, I should rest before dinner. Thanks for the fun, ladies. I needed it.” She waved off Melissa’s help and hobbled into the alpha house.
To her surprise, Nina, one of Kasey’s council members, had just walked through the front door—without knocking. Her brown, almond-shaped eyes landed on Vivian and narrowed a fraction. She smiled and sauntered over, an envelope in her hand.
“Just who I was looking for. How are you feeling?” Her smile was about as warm as an igloo.
If Vivian didn’t already know that Nina was terminally jealous of her mating with Kasey, she would almost believe Nina cared. “Better every day. What can I do for you, Nina?”
Nina handed her the envelope. “The ladies of the Pack want to formally welcome you as our new alpha female. I’m hosting a formal tea at my home. Of course, I understand if you don’t attend, given your current state.”
Vivian huffed. “How can you throw a party for me if I’m not there? That makes no sense.” She opened the invitation and nearly groaned at the frilly paper and curly fonts. The tea was for the next day.
“The Pack ladies have a formal tea once a quarter. We thought we could include you.”
“How nice of you to wait until the last minute to invite me,” Vivian said, meeting Nina’s eyes. She was at least four inches shorter than Vivian, but had the balls to try and stare her down. It didn’t work. Nina was a fairly dominant bear, but she didn’t come close to Vivian’s level of power.
Nina looked away and clenched her jaws. “You know, Vivian, it’s customary for the alpha’s wife to attend parties, baby showers, wedding, funerals, and anything else the Pack might gather for.”
“Is it now?” Vivian kept staring her down. “I’ll do what I can. But I think Kasey and I have a different vision for the future of this Pack.”
Nose tilted higher, Nina said, “You have a responsibility; certain expectations come with the role you’ve taken over. If you don’t want to fill that position, you should—”
“I should what?” Vivian stepped into Nina’s personal space, standing tall, even though her stomach argued.
Nina dropped her voice, but the bitterness behind it didn’t lessen. “Considering you can’t give our alpha an heir, you should at least attempt to be more than a pretty face standing next to him. Kasey’s mother was a wonderful alpha female. She cared about the people, she attended every function she possibly could, and took an active role in caring for the Pack. Since Kasey took over, I’ve upheld her traditions. As much as you love Kasey, I would think you would want to honor his parents’ legacy.”
Vivian’s tiger yearned to claw this bitch’s eyes out. Who the hell did she think she was anyway?
“Thanks for that bit of insight. I’ll be sure to talk to my mate about it. Until then, consider this my RSVP for the party.”
“It’s a formal tea, so I must ask you to dress accordingly.” Nina’s eyes traveled over Vivian’s holey jeans and fitted shirt. Her lip curled in disgust. “We try to keep these events as elegant as possible.”
“I’ll try to resist showing up naked.” Vivian rolled her eyes. “Is that all you needed? I was on my way to my room. My husband will be home in a while and I’d like to be rested for him.”
Nina clasped her hands in front of her and gave Vivian a smile that held so much contempt, it would’ve shriveled a lesser person. Vivian, on the other hand, gave it right back to her. “Of course. You should go rest. You wouldn’t want to appear weak, now would you?”
“Don’t worry about me, Nina. I’m perfectly capable of holding my own.”
“Oh, I can see that.” Nina turned and walked away, flipping her black hair over her shoulder.
Once she was out the door, Vivian bent over at the waist to ease the muscles she’d stretched.
Her new wide lounging chair sat on the opposite side of the fireplace from Kasey’s traditional wingback. She touched the curves of the navy fabric, remembering how lonely Kasey’s chair appeared that first day he brought her into his home. Now the chair had a companion, just like the man did.
Vivian recalled what happened next with a sharp pain to her heart. Kasey had taken her to the closet and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. His voice had been gentle and sweet when he’d whispered, “I thought that one day you might want to turn this into another bedroom . . . a nursery.” At the time, she’d frozen, her body going rigid. Her? A mother? The thought was terrifying. She had felt so undeserving of his love, so afraid that she wouldn’t be able to please him.
Now, looking at that empty closet that would forever just be a closet, she knew the true meaning of uselessness. She would never be able to give Kasey a baby. It wasn’t an option.
Vivian sank down into her chair and stared at the slate fireplace, again thinking of the children that were never going to be hers. She would never see Kasey’s grin on her son. Never braid her daughter’s curly hair.
Her vision blurred and she reached up to touch the moisture on her cheeks. Crying? Dear God, I’m actually crying. That hadn’t happened in years. The fact only made her cry harder. She curled up in her chair and allowed herself to mourn what she’d lost, what she’d never have the chance to experience.
Kasey wouldn’t be home for another couple hours. She had enough time to fall apart and get her shit together again. She wouldn’t let him see her like this. He carried the guilt heavy on his shoulders as it was. There were times when she would look at him and know he was thinking about what he’d done to her. The sadness was in his eyes. Kasey took the blame for something that wasn’t his fault at all. Typical male. But she didn’t have to add to his self-inflicted punishment.
No. She might not be able to give him an heir, but she could be the best wife, the best mate, the best alpha female he could ever ask for. She would give him everything else she had and pray it was enough.
The next afternoon, she stood in front of the mirror and took a deep breath. It hurt less than yesterday, and less than the day before that. Amilynn helped her dress and, as usual, her style was impeccable. Vivian smoothed her hands down the puffy bodice of her dress. The champagne-colored satin had a black floral lace overlay and a wide satin belt. The black lace sleeves showed just enough skin to be elegant. As tall as Vivian was, she worried about wearing black pumps, but Ami assured her she wanted the extra height.
Ami braided her hair and twisted it into an intricate knot on the side of her neck. She gingerly placed a wide-brimmed hat on Vivian’s head, then stepped back to admire her work.
“Damn, I’m good at this.”
“I feel foolish.” Vivian moved her head around, getting a feel for the outrageous hat on her head. It was heavy with black silk flowers and ribbons.
“Don’t mess up my work. You look amazing.” Ami crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re going to be the belle of the ball, V.”
“As long as Nina doesn’t speak to me, I might just act like one too.”
Ami waved a dismissing hand. “She’s jealous. Pure and simple. Do not let that bitch get to you. I’d have to kick her ass.”
Vivian nodded. “You’d have to get in line. If anyone gets to kick her ass, it’s me.” She grabbed her matching clutch and took another deep breath.
“Do you want me to come with you? I can get dressed in a snap.” Amilynn popped her knuckles. She was more restless than she was yesterday. And people call me stubborn.
“It is kind of rude that you and Mel weren’t invited.”
Ami’s face lost all emotion. “I’m crushed. Can’t you tell?” she said in a dry tone.
Vivian rolled her eyes. “Oh, hush.” She checked her watch. “I’d better go. Thanks for your help.”
“Have fun.” Ami’s smartass smile made Vivian chuckle.
She drove to Nina’s house. Of course, it was beautiful and huge with a perfectly manicured yard. She knocked on the door and had to wait a few minutes before Nina answered.
“Well, look who showed up,” Nina said loudly enough for everyone in the next room to hear.
Vivian checked her watch. Eleven o’clock on the nose. “I’m on time.”
“We started an hour ago.”
Bitch. Vivian squared her shoulders and smiled at the other ladies who had come to see who was at the door. She fished the invitation out of her clutch. “This invitation says eleven o’clock.” She held it up for everyone to see.
Nina snatched it out of her hand and examined it. “Oh no!” She put a hand over her mouth. “It does. My mistake. Silly me.”
Vivian practically sagged in relief when Bianca made her way through the crowd. “We always start at ten, Nina. It’s not like you forgot.” She took Vivian’s hand and guided her inside. “I didn’t know she invited you, Vivian.” Bianca pursed her lips at Nina. “How convenient that you forgot to mention that to me, seeing as how I live in the same house.”