by Lili Zander
My hands clench into fists, and I bite back my snarl of rage. I need to talk to Mar’vi. Find out what’s happened to her. “You might not appreciate the humans,” I say, “But I do. Don’t talk about my mate like that, or our deal is over.”
Belfox gives Herrix a warning glance. “It’s not here,” he says. “It’s hidden far away from the camp. We can go now, if you want, but you’ll need to carry us through the air.”
“Fine.” The camp is quiet now. Most people are indoors. Dusk is approaching, and once the sun sets, the detsena will overrun the ground.
The three of us head to a deserted clearing, and I shift into the dragon, marveling at how easy it feels, how natural. The two Draekons climb on my back and sit between my spikes. When they’re seated, I unfurl my wings and launch into the air.
Less than a knur later, I land in the hills to the west of Lake Ang and transform back. “This way,” Belfox says, leading me to a cave and handing me a communicator. “It can be used to access your messages in the ThoughtVaults,” he says, his lips twisting bitterly. “Of course, the High Empire has deleted our official identities.”
That’s okay. I don’t have the slightest idea how to locate my daughter after all these years. I’m going to start by finding the message the healer from Kraush sent me. Perhaps he’s still alive, and if not, perhaps someone else in their center will reply, telling me what happened to a small baby who was born there, sixty-five years ago.
“I need to be alone.”
Herrix opens his mouth to protest, but Belfox shakes his head. “Of course, Luddux,” he replies. “We’ll be outside. Take as long as you need. These hills are free of the detsena.”
My palms are damp with nerves as I use the communicator to connect to my hidden identity, the one the High Empire never knew about. It’s been sixty-five long years. What will I discover?
There are hundreds of messages for me. Ones from friends, wondering where I am. If I had family, the scientists would have informed them about the mutation, but my friends would have never found out. There’s a long-ago message from Captain Plyke, sent about six days after the Testing, asking me where in Caeron I am, and telling me if I don’t show up before nightfall, she’s going to leave without me.
I sift through them, trying to find the message from the healer, when another message from Kraush catches my eye. It’s recent, sent within the last two months.
Luddux,
Though you never came for her, I sent you updates about Mar’vi through her childhood. I must admit, I hoped that hearing about your daughter could move you to do the right thing, but for sixty-five years, I’ve been disappointed.
This appeal is probably as pointless as the others, but if you read this, I beg you, for once, to think about your daughter. Mar’vi is dying. Her blood has been invaded by a toxic parasite. I believe that her only chance of survival is a full-body blood drain, but in order for us to do the procedure, we need uncontaminated blood to replace it. Blood from one of her own.
Sola’vi does not appear to have any family, though we continue to search through the records. But Mar’vi has a father who has done nothing for her his entire life. Help her now, Luddux. Give her your blood so she may live.
Gravin of Kraush.
Tears spill down my cheeks, unchecked. I have no family of my own, none that might be able to donate blood to save Mar’vi’s life.
My daughter is dying and stuck here on the prison planet, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Then I look around the cave for the first time, and I see a familiar object, but one I haven’t seen in sixty-five years. I get up slowly, rubbing my eyes to clear my vision. It can’t be.
It is. It’s a control panel for a spaceship.
“Ah. You’ve seen it.” Herrix wanders back into the cave, Belfox at his heels.
“Is this what was in the box? Pieces of a ship?”
“Yes,” Belfox says, his eyes gleaming. “I’ve been studying it. It’s technology of a sort I’ve never seen before, but it’s definitely a ship. A way out of here. If I’m reading the instructions correctly, we need to find six more boxes.”
“That few?”
“It’s ingeniously designed,” he says. “I think it’s Adrashian.”
Though it’s shocking to find an Adrashian ship inside Zorahn territory, that makes sense. The Adrashian techmages are masters of their craft. If anyone can make a spaceship fit inside seven diarmod containers, it’s them.
“I think I can put it together,” Belfox continues. “I was trained as a Technician. But if we’re to have any hope of surviving the asteroid layer, we need a pilot with Draekon-honed reflexes.”
They’re both looking at me. “You want me to be your pilot?” It’s a slim chance, but it’s all I’ve got.
“We do, yes.”
I should ask them more questions. Herrix is tricky and sly. I shouldn’t rush into a deal with him.
But my daughter is dying, and, as Gravin of Kraush said in his message, I’ve done nothing for her my entire life.
“I’m in.”
14
Xanthox
PAST…
“I need to talk to you.”
I look up. I’ve been searching for Luddux all morning. “Where have you been?” I ask him. “I think I’ve found the perfect spot to build a new home for Felicity.”
Then I take in Luddux’s appearance. His eyes are red-rimmed, and his face is pale. “What’s wrong?”
He takes a deep breath. “I have a secret,” he says. “Will it be safe with you?”
“Of course,” I reply automatically. Luddux is my pair-bond. We’re bound together. We’re now family.
“I have a daughter,” he says.
“What?”
I listen in silence as he tells me everything. Finding out about his daughter but being exiled before he could claim her. The communicator Belfox found in the desert, and Luddux’s promise to keep it a secret from Felicity. And finally, what he just learned. Mar’vi is dying.
“So I agreed to be their pilot,” he finishes.
“Are you sure that’s a wise idea?” I ask him. My heart is breaking for Luddux. He’s in so much pain. “You know Herrix and Belfox cannot be trusted. You should tell Dariux about the ship.”
He shakes his head. “I gave them my word.”
I open my mouth to tell him what I think about that, but he holds up his hand. “It’s not just that,” he says. “Belfox was willing to destroy the communicator. I’m sure they’d sabotage the ship rather than let anyone else take it from them.”
He’s got a point. Herrix, in particular, is unhinged. He’s been that way right from the start. It was him that orchestrated driving out the Lowborn from our camp.
“And if that happens, then Mar’vi, who only has one chance at life, dies. I can’t take that chance, Xanthox.” His expression is distraught. “I abandoned my child. For sixty-five years, I’ve carried this burden.”
He stares into the woods. “I grew up in an orphanage. It wasn’t that bad, really. Yes, they were busy and didn’t have a lot of time for each of us, but they did their best. It wasn’t a family, but it wasn’t terrible. I survived.” He takes a deep breath. “I used to hope that things turned out okay for her. I fantasized that she grew up, met someone, had a family…”
We’re walking along the lake. I see a bush filled with the creamy white berries that Felicity loves to snack on and start filling my pack with them as I listen to Luddux. “I’ve never done anything for Mar’vi,” he says at last. “I have to do this for her.”
I understand. “What about Felicity?”
“I know,” he says heavily. “It’s a lot to ask her. She crashed on this planet, and that’s bad enough. But at least here, she has the other humans to remind her of her home. If we escape the prison planet, we’ll have to leave the High Empire. We’ll be fugitives for the rest of our lives.”
“Have some faith in Felicity,” I tell him. “She’s got a good heart. When she
hears about your daughter, she’ll understand.”
His lips tighten, and I give him an incredulous look. “You are going to tell her about your daughter, aren’t you?”
“I can’t,” he says unhappily. “I just can’t. I abandoned her, Xanthox. I can’t tell Felicity yet.”
Bast. Luddux’s guilt is palpable, but it’s not his fault. What happened was horrible and traumatic, but nobody could hold it against him. Especially not Felicity.
“But I will,” he continues. “I promise. When the ship is assembled, and we’re ready to leave, I will tell Felicity everything.”
PRESENT…
Do you know how many times you’ve told me you loved me?
Not once.
I don’t know what to say.
I’ve always been ready to share the blame for this situation. Both Luddux and I kept secrets from her. When things went badly wrong, we should have both tried harder to fix things.
But now I realize, for the first time, just how much of this is my fault.
My parents taught me to show my love through gifts. The greater its worth, the deeper my love. And even though my childhood was a really long time ago, it seems that the lessons I learned when I was eight have stayed with me.
“Dariux is a friend,” she says quietly. “Nothing more. He lent me his skimmer once when I needed it.” Her lips twist bitterly. “We have a lot in common, after all. He’s an outcast, and so am I. We both know what it feels like to be judged by a single action.”
“What do you mean?” Luddux demands. “Who judges you?”
She shrugs. “The other women don’t like me,” she says. “Haven’t you noticed?”
Not. I haven’t. I can’t see why anyone would dislike my mate. She’s kind and helpful. She’s not as assertive as some of the other human women, preferring to hold back and keep silent, but whenever something needs to be done, Felicity’s there. None of the other human women like cleaning fish, but my mate takes it on without complaint. If they dislike her, then they’re foolish and blind and stupid.
I swallow hard. Even now, I’m not saying those words out loud. I’m not telling her how special she is to me.
“I think I loved you from the moment I saw you,” I say quietly. “You were pale, and hunched-over and your eyes were red, and I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
She bites her lip. “I really didn’t like flying on dragon-back,” she whispers. “I threw up. I must have looked like a fright.”
“You’ve always been beautiful to me, Felicity.” I hold her hand, and she doesn’t pull away. “But the moment I knew I was in love? It was ten days after we made love for the first time. We were building the treehouse, and you were bringing us a meal. I saw you walk toward me, and I couldn’t stop smiling.”
I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with the soft floral scent of Felicity. “Finding you was such a miracle. The three of us were born on different planets. Think about it. So many things had to happen for us to be together.”
“Like it was destiny,” she murmurs.
I hug her close to me. “I was taught when I was young that the way to show that I cared was through expensive gifts,” I say quietly. “I love you, Felicity Rollins. You are the most important person in my world. I’m sorry I ever gave you a moment of doubt.”
She smiles at me, tremulous and unsteady, but it’s a smile nonetheless. “I shouldn’t have yelled,” she says softly. “You saw that I liked kunnr, and you brought some along for me. You do see me.”
There’s still hesitation in her tone. Something’s still bothering her. What is it?
Luddux’s expression turns resolute. Thank Caeron. He’s finally going to tell her about his daughter. She’ll finally understand why we did what we did.
Just then, Bolox hurries up. “Dariux is ready to leave,” he says. “Are you?”
Bast. All I want to do is hold her in my arms. Strengthen this tenuous connection between us, rebuilt her shattered trust.
But a man is dying, and Dariux’s med-kit is the only thing that can save him.
Luddux sighs and gets to his feet. “We’re coming.”
15
Felicity
PRESENT…
Xan and Lud transform into dragons. Bolox and Narix—Olivia calls them Balls and Nuts, which is, I have to admit, pretty funny—run around and attach the platform holding Dariux’s skimmer to Xan’s paws.
“That thing is safe, right?” I worry out loud. “It’s not too much weight for him to carry? The Na’Lung Cliffs are a long way away.”
Dragon-Xan hears me, and his eyes glow bottle-green. He snorts, and a small jet of fire shoots from his jaw.
“I think he’s laughing at you,” Dariux says, coming up behind me. He gives me a sidelong look. “So?”
“So what?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t play the idiot,” he says. “It was bad enough when Olivia Buckner did it. Are things better between your mates and you?”
He’s being nosy, but I can’t fault him. After all, it had been his skimmer I’d borrowed when Herrix had said those words that had cracked the foundation of my world. He was the one who’d seen me return, my face streaked with tears. He’s the one who had sat next to me, saying nothing but being there as I’d sobbed my eyes out.
“Why do you care?”
His face softens into a smile. “You know me,” he says. “I like to meddle.”
He does. Unlike Lud and Xan, I hadn’t been surprised when Dariux admitted that he checked in on the Lowborns that had left the camp at the start. I think of Dariux as a kindly, yet unpredictable uncle.
I’m still choked up from Xan’s words.
I love you, Felicity Rollins. You are the most important person in my world. I’m sorry I ever gave you a moment of doubt.
For months, I’ve dreamed of hearing him say those words. Hoped that what we had was more than just the mating bond, more than biology.
And he did. And I know, in my heart, that every word out of his mouth was true.
We had everything once, but that’s broken now. But maybe, just maybe, we can create something new from the shards.
Are things better?
Xan and Lud are watching, and they can probably hear every word of this conversation.
“Yes,” I say, my answer as much to Xan and Lud as it is to Dariux. “Yes, I think things are much better.”
The journey back is mostly uneventful. I say mostly, because, at one point, the platform carrying the skimmer sways alarmingly, and Dragon-Lud, on whose back Dariux and I are sitting, dives down to steady it if needed. Wedged between Lud’s scales, with Dariux sitting behind me to grab me in case I start to slip, I’m perfectly safe, but I can’t help the small scream that escapes my lips.
When we land, Vulrux rushes out. “Thank Caeron you’re here,” he says, his tone uncharacteristically stressed. “We need to hurry. He’s slipping away.”
Dariux is already sliding off Dragon-Lud’s back, his pack in his hands. “Let’s go.”
We stand around in the clearing. Bryce comes over to me. “You guys got back just in time,” she says in a low voice. “I think the soldier was down to his last hour.”
“What’s been going?” So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours that it’s hard for me to remember that I was here yesterday morning. I’ve really only been gone a little over a day.
“Not much,” she replies. “All of the Draekons who can transform have been on patrol duty, searching for other ships. Nothing so far.”
“How will the Zorahn even know where on the planet to land?” I ask. “I mean, why pick this part of the world? This continent? Why not search somewhere else?”
Ryanna, who’s standing next to me, overhears my question. “Raiht’vi had a locator buried in her forearm,” she says soberly. “She took it out and smashed it, but its last signal came from this continent.”
Oh. So much for hoping that the ship Thrax found was just a fluke.
“Dariux thinks w
e need to hide,” I tell them, remembering what he’d said back in our camp. “He thinks we’re too exposed here.”
Ryanna frowns. “He held Arax and Nyx prisoner,” she points out. “Do you trust him?”
“Yes,” Bryce and I both say at the same time, and grin at each other. “I’ll leave you to explain Dariux to Ryanna,” I tell her. “I have other things to do.”
She looks at Lud and Xan, and then me. “You guys working things out?” she asks softly.
“We’re getting there.” I shoot a look at Xan and Lud. My poor mates. Two long flights in two consecutive days. They must be exhausted. They need a long, hot bath. It’s a good thing the bathtub in the house we’re staying at is huge. We can all fit in it.
This morning, I’d woken up with them, half asleep, warm, and cozy, and I’d reached for them by instinct. Then I’d woken up fully. Everything had come rushing back, and I’d pulled away.
But after Xan’s declaration of love, I feel hopeful. And I really want to recapture that lost closeness.
I go to their side. “Vulrux and Dariux could be hours,” I say softly. “Want to eat something? Soak in the bathtub?”
Lud’s eyes rest on me. “Will you join us, little one?”
It’s been a long time, and I’ve missed them so very much. I smile at him. “I’d really like that.”
An expression of intense relief fills Xan’s face. “Good,” he murmurs.
Lud laces his fingers in mine. “You were frightened when I went into that dive,” he says to me, his voice concerned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I tried to grab it by instinct, but you were never in any danger.”
I smile at him. “I know. My scream just slipped out. I have recurring dreams of falling,” I add in explanation. “I’ve had them all my life.”
“We will never let you fall, Felicity,” he says quietly. “Ever.”
Once inside, the guys waste no time stripping out of their clothes. After all the action and tension of the past few days, it’s nice to take a moment and do something as normal as taking a bath.
I’m about to follow their lead when Xan stops me. “Let me.” He grips the hem of my shirt and helps me tug it off, then stops short.