by Lili Zander
“Huh?”
She grimaces. “I’ve barely said two words to you ever since you got here,” she says. “Surely you noticed.”
“I thought you didn’t like me.” I shrug. “Not everyone does.”
She looks confused. “It had nothing to do with you,” she replies. “I was angry with Luddux.” Her lips twist. “He burned Nyx, and I’ve been holding a grudge. And he’s your mate, so…” Her voice trails off. “Anyway. I’ve pieced together enough of the story to know that what went down wasn’t Luddux’s fault. Belfox and Herrix are the mustache-twirling evil villains in this story. In any case, I had no business letting how I felt about Luddux affect the way I treat you. I’m really sorry.”
Today’s turning out to be a very surreal day. “Okay. No harm done.”
“Why did you think I don’t like you?”
I wince. “I was kinda a bitch toward Olivia,” I murmur. “I said some catty things.”
She snorts. “Please. We’ve all said catty things about Olivia. Don’t get me wrong—I like Olivia now that she’s not being the world’s biggest ditz, but come on. She was so fucking annoying when she was pretending to be a bimbo. Harper and I wanted to smack her.” She flutters her eyelashes and pitches her voice high. “Umm, excuse me, I don’t know how to stick this translator in my ear, even though it’s perfectly obvious.”
I laugh, surprised at Viola’s candor. “Harper doesn’t like me either,” I point out. “She thinks I judged her for eating fries or something.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yesterday,” she says with exaggerated patience, “Harper spent an hour in tears because Raiht’vi’s syn gave her curly fries instead of crinkle-cut fries. A full hour. Vulrux eventually had to give her a sedative to calm her down. Harper’s great, but my God, she’s a hormonal mess right now. About the only thing that puts her in a good mood is sex.”
Good to know that’s what I have to look forward to in a few months.
I take a deep breath and smile tentatively at Viola. It’s time I started making friends. “Hey, when all of this is over, do you want to get a drink or something? The guys make this brandy-like thing out of berries, and it’s really good.” Not that I’ll be drinking any of it, not until the baby is born.
She grins. “You had me at booze.”
17
Luddux
PRESENT…
I corner Thrax just as he’s about to take off to go drop supplies for Beirax. “The communicator,” I say urgently. “Were you able to find one?”
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Luddux. There were three on the ship, but they were all smashed to bits. If I had spare parts, I might be able to fix one of them, but unfortunately, Zunix’ syn can’t generate tech parts.”
No. I already knew that. That had been one of the first questions I’d asked Zunix when we’d been exiled.
“I even went back to Fehrat 1,” he adds. “I went through every inch of the wreckage, but someone smashed every communication device. Raiht’vi, probably.”
Yes. If the scientist is trying to hide from the High Emperor, she would have made sure to destroy all the tech.
The small flicker of hope in my chest is extinguished. My daughter will die, and the only thing she’ll know about her father was that he hadn’t cared enough to help her.
“Thank you for trying.”
He pats my back, his expression sympathetic. He doesn’t ask why I want a communicator, and for that, I’m grateful beyond measure. “I’m sorry, Luddux,” he says again.
Life is bittersweet. This morning, I’d woken up next to Felicity’s naked body, her limbs tangled up in mine. She was smiling at me again, talking to me, kissing me, her lips soft and warm. Things had been rocky between us for weeks, but when I’d opened my eyes, I could almost forget that our relationship had ever been in trouble.
I’m sorry, Mar’vi. I failed you in every way that matters.
“There’s one more thing we can try,” he says thoughtfully.
I look up. “What’s that?”
“Dariux’s ThoughtVault,” he says. “It works perfectly, doesn’t it? I can salvage parts from it.”
I look up. “Can you do it without damaging the ThoughtVault?”
Thrax shakes his head. “I doubt it.”
Disappointment fills me. Dariux won’t give up the ThoughtVault. He’s searching for something, and the records in the ThoughtVault are part of the puzzle. He’ll never risk anything happening to it.
There’s nothing I can do.
We fly back to Lake Ang. Felicity is with Xanthox and I, of course, and so is Dariux. “Most of the nine exiles in the sea camp don’t know you,” he points out. “Why do you think they’d trust you if you show up out of the blue, telling them about a threat from the High Empire?”
He has a valid point, and though I want to protest, I hold my tongue.
There’s still a few hours to dusk when we land. We find Bolox, Narix, and Runnax, and tell them to pack and be ready to evacuate in the next day. “Just the essentials,” Dariux warns. “One pack only.”
The three men, already forewarned when we came to get Dariux’s med-kit nod solemnly. “We’re ready,” Bolox says. “We can leave whenever.”
“Good.” Dariux turns to Xanthox and me. “How tired are you?” he asks. “If you can still fly, we should head east to the sea camp and warn the nine others. If we hurry, we can get there and back before dusk.”
He’s right. Time is of the essence. One ship has already crashed. A thousand others could be on their way. We must get everyone together as soon as possible.
“Let’s go,” Xanthox says.
I turn to Felicity with a smile. “Feel like another flight? Or do you want to stay here?”
“I’ll come with you,” she replies. “I grew up by the seaside. I want to see if the prison planet looks anything like Maine.”
Felicity rarely talks about Earth, and almost never about her family. I didn’t know she’d grown up near the water. “So did I,” I tell her. “In a small town called Vonel next to the great ocean.”
There’s so much about my mate that’s a mystery to me. Our connection had been immediate and real, but even the strongest bond needs nourishing. We should have talked more, told each other more about our lives.
Of course, I never had. Even now, I continue to hide the most important things from my mate. I’m still keeping my daughter a secret.
The sea camp, as Dariux calls it, is beautiful. The nine Draekons have made their home in small, raised huts on a pink sand beach. They come out from their homes when we land. Their expressions are hard and suspicious, and their hands are on their weapons, at least until they see Dariux. “Oh, it’s you,” one of them calls out.
I haven’t seen most of these men in sixty-five years. Five of them are Lowborn, the other four Midborn. We’d been on the same shuttle, arriving at the prison planet together. As soon as the five Lowborn realized that Herrix and Belfox expected them to do all the work, they’d left the camp. The four Midborn had left a few years after that, after a confrontation with Dariux.
There’s no sign of discord now. The men greet Dariux warmly and invite us into their homes for food and drink. They can’t take their eyes off Felicity. “A woman,” I hear one of them say, sounding awed and astonished. “On the prison planet.”
I don’t think they’re a threat to Felicity, but I move closer to her anyway, as does Xanthox. She’s ours.
Dariux declines the food. “Can you gather around?” he says. “I need to talk to all of you.”
“What is it, Dariux?”
“I’ve tried to convince you over the years to rejoin our camp,” he says. “But you’ve resisted, and I’ve respected your decision.”
He has? This is all news to me. I look around again, and I notice things. Jorix had been in rags, but these men look healthy. They’re wearing syn-made clothes, and the home we’re in is furnished comfortably. Evidence of Zunix’s syn is everywhere.
“Doe
s Dariux visit you often?” I ask the man standing next to me, my voice low.
He nods. “About once a month,” he replies. “He comes along with the med-kit, just in case, and he brings us what he thinks we need. Small things to make our lives easier.”
“Really?” I’m beginning to see the other man in a whole new light. Dariux has always traded hard for access to the med-kit and his skimmer, but secretly, he’s been helping these nine men survive on this planet.
The man—I think his name is Vonox—nods. “We were pretty determined not to go back,” he says. “We were all sick of being ordered around by the Highborns. Herrix and Belfox, in particular, would have treated us like their servants.”
That’s true. The two Draekons had nothing but contempt for everyone without the same blood status as them. The only reason they’d approached me with the communicator was because they needed me. I was a pilot, and I could transform at will into the dragon. “They’re gone now,” I reply. “They escaped.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Dariux thinks there’s a good chance they crashed instead. None of us can transform, so we cannot search for them.” Vonox’s eyes shine with hope. “There are women in your camp. Are any of them unmated?”
“Just two.” My tone softens, and I realize just how lucky I am to have found Felicity. “Don’t get your hopes up. Nobody understands the mating bond, not even Dariux.”
Vonox doesn’t seem fazed by my warning. “It’s a chance,” he murmurs. “And even a small ray of hope is better than none.”
In the center of the room, Dariux continues to talk to the men, convincing them to evacuate. “Arax, Firstborn of Zoraht is among the exiles,” he says.
That causes a stir. “He is?” a man asks, his tone laced with shock.
Dariux nods. “Indeed. More importantly, he’s mated now to a human woman. And,” he says, pausing for emphasis, “His pair-bond is a Lowborn. Nyx. I give you my word. Blood status doesn’t matter in this new camp. Everyone will be treated equally.”
“We can’t fight Zoraken,” he says. “You’re too isolated here. Too far away from everyone else. It’s time we worked together. Will you rejoin us?”
I look around the room. Unbelievable. Every single man is nodding. I thought this task would be difficult, but it’s far easier than I could have ever hoped.
“We start evacuating tomorrow,” Dariux says. “Pack only your most important possessions. Houses can be rebuilt. The syn will provide new clothing. One bag only. Xanthox and Luddux will be carrying you to the new camp.” He turns to look at us. “Can each of you carry two at a time?”
“Yes,” I reply.
Next to me, Felicity is half-listening to the conversation, but her eyes keep returning to the window. She’s watching the waves crash into the shore, and her expression is wistful.
I put my arm around her, and she leans into me.
For sixty-five years, Dariux has bargained hard for access to his med-kit. I thought he was greedy, and demanding payment was pointless. But it turns out that he’s been helping these nine men.
He’s an outcast, and so am I. We both know what it feels like to be judged by a single action.
Felicity is right. I’ve misunderstood Dariux. And if I’ve been so wrong about him, what else have I been wrong about?
When Herrix and Belfox had left, I’d been devastated. I’d lost my only chance to save my daughter. I’d been angry with Felicity for not being there that night when I needed her the most. I’d yelled at her, and for days after that, I’d brooded, barely saying two words to her.
By the time I’d reconciled myself to the situation, it was too late. Felicity had shut us out. She wasn’t talking to us anymore, and she wouldn’t allow me to explain anything.
I thought she was angry because we helped Belfox and Herrix. I thought her reaction was a combination of anger that we kept it a secret from her and hurt at the way I’d treated her in the aftermath of their departure.
But what if I’m wrong?
We slept together last night. Things seem better. Our relationship might heal on its own. If I tell her about Mar’vi, about the way I abandoned my daughter, I might make matters worse.
You’re taking the coward’s way out, a voice inside me says. Your mate deserves to know the truth.
That voice is right. Even if she doesn’t want to listen, it’s time for me to tell her everything.
18
Felicity
PRESENT…
We go back to our treehouse. We eat a meal on the roof, and we talk quietly about the sea camp and tomorrow’s logistics and a million other things. We make love, and in their arms, I can almost forget everything that’s happened.
But there’s the elephant in the room, and even though I try to ignore it, it’s still there.
For weeks, I’ve been shutting my mates down, refusing to allow them to explain themselves. Whatever the reason that led to it, I can’t bear to hear them tell me they were going to leave me behind. I can’t face the truth.
I can play the game. Truth or dare. I can tell them everything I heard. I can listen to what they have to say.
Except I can’t.
Things are getting better. They told me last night that they love me. Is there any point dwelling on what happened in the past? Belfox and Herrix are gone; Lud and Xan are here. Maybe I should focus on that instead. Live for the present.
I can’t seem to do that either. It’s like there’s a deep pit of despair in my soul, and anything can still push me into it.
Two days go by. My mates are gone from dawn to dusk, transporting the exiles and their possessions to the main camp. When they return, they fall into bed, exhausted. I feel really bad about how tired they are, but there’s nothing I can do about it except make sure they have a hot meal to eat when they come home.
But aside from cooking, there’s not a lot for me to do. I gather as many of the white berries as I can, since they don’t grow in the Lowlands and mash them into a paste that will eventually ferment into a fruity brandy-like drink. Mostly, I hang out alone, and I try not to be afraid for the future. With the arrival of the Zorahn soldiers, everything has been thrown into uncertainty. Will they ignore us, kill us, or seize us by force? After all, we were originally supposed to go to Zoraht and be tested by their scientists. What if they hold us to our contract and forcibly remove us from here?
Dariux finds me one afternoon when my mood is at my bleakest and settles down next to me. “I never asked you what happened when you borrowed my shuttle. You were very upset with your mates.”
Maybe someday, I’ll be able to think about that afternoon without feeling a sharp twinge of pain. “It doesn’t matter. We’re moving past it.”
“Humor me.”
I give him a sidelong glance. Dariux can be such a nosy busybody sometimes. “Fine. I overheard Lud and Xan talk to Belfox and Herrix. They were going to leave without me.”
“No,” he says immediately. “I know Luddux and Xanthox. That’s not who they are. Whatever you heard, Felicity Rollins, you were wrong. When you asked them about it, what did they say?”
I don’t meet his gaze. “I haven’t asked them about it.”
“You haven’t asked them,” he repeats disbelievingly. “Why not?”
My temper flares. “Because I don’t want to hear what they have to say, okay? People don’t love me, Dariux. My aunt and uncle only saw me as cheap labor. My cousin resented me. I thought I could have a second chance here, but then I heard what Lud and Xan said. I’m the fool that’s head-over-heels in love with them, but they don’t feel what I feel.”
I don’t want to think about this. “They used me to turn into dragons,” I whisper. “How can I tell whether they ever cared for me, or if it was all a lie just so they could get what they wanted?”
He gives me a pitying look. “I never took you for a fool and a coward, Felicity,” he says. “You have everything, and you don’t appreciate it. You cling to the past because it’s easier to be afraid tha
n to take a chance.”
I glare at him, stung to the core. Dariux doesn’t understand.
But he doesn’t back down. “You have two mates who love and cherish you. Look around. Do you know what Vonox or Tarix or Revix or any of the unmated men would give to have what you have? Do you know what I’d give for that?”
He’s right. Damn it. He’s absolutely right. When Lud and Xan get back home tonight, I’m going to let everything out in the open. Even if it will break my heart.
“Truth or dare.” I take a deep breath and let the words hang in the air.
Lud and Xan look up at me, freezing with surprise. Finally, Lud answers. “Truth.”
This is it. Now or never.
“Tell me what happened with Belfox and Herrix. Tell me what you were going to tell me that night. Tell me why you were planning to go to Alvi without me.”
Xan leans forward, disbelief in his eyes. “You thought we were going to leave without you? To Alvi? Why would we go to Alvi? It’s in the middle of a war zone. We were going to Kraush.”
“Kraush?” The Zorahn Empire has more planets than I can remember. I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard of this one. “What’s in Kraush?”
Lud exhales slowly. “My daughter.”
19
Luddux
PAST…
With each day that goes by, the fear in my heart grows. Mar’vi is dying. What if I’m not able to get to her in time? What if it is too late?
There are no more messages from the healer in Kraush. He’s given up on me.
But I refuse to give up, not while there is still a sliver of hope.
The assembly of the ship takes longer than I expect. Belfox might have been a technician back in the High Empire, but he certainly doesn’t seem like a skilled one. It takes him weeks to get the ship ready. Several tries end in failure. So many times, the control panel refuses to activate. So many times, it spits out warning messages of incorrectly connected parts and shuts down.
“Write to your daughter,” Xanthox says to me, more than once. “Tell her that you’re coming.”
But I can’t do that, not until I am absolutely sure that I will be able to leave. It would be too cruel to dangle hope in front of her otherwise.