“Girlfriend, everything is everything,” Dolly said with full conviction.
Not!
As the room spun around and around, Officer Gregg’s grip on her neck tightened. Tiny felt light-headed and knew she was about to lose consciousness. Suddenly her head seemed to explode as she was flung roughly into the wall, where she bounced off like a ball before landing facedown on the dirty concrete ground. Pain exploded in every available artery in her body. Choking and coughing, she desperately sucked some much-needed air into her burning lungs. Tears poured from her red eyes as she whimpered weakly, folding her aching body into a protective ball. She wasn’t sure why he didn’t kill her, but she knew she needed to get away from him quickly before he changed his mind and finished the job. But she was hurting too much and was too weak to move.
Tiny felt her aching head jerk back as Officer Gregg grabbed a handful of hair and snapped her head off the floor. She felt the cold metal of the gun pressing into her neck, and she screamed in terror. “Please, don’t kill me,” Tiny pleaded. “I’m sorry. Please.”
“You better not call my name to anyone!” Officer Gregg screamed into her ringing ears, spit flying out his mouth. “If you do, I will come back and kill you. In fact, I will kill your precious Aunt Madge first. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to her now, would you?” he threatened.
Tiny shivered in fear.
“Would you?” Officer Gregg growled.
Tiny shook her head and winced at the pain. He waited a few seconds before he loosened his tight hold on her hair and stood up before hurriedly pulling on his clothes. Officer Gregg then stormed out of the classroom without a backward glance at the wounded young girl he had almost killed.
Tiny breathed a sigh of relief after the rackety door slammed shut. Pain she had never known before pierced her body from head to toe, but she found the strength to roll over onto her back, and then into a sitting position. Even her shallow, labored breathing sent arrows of piercing agony through her body, but down on all fours she slowly crawled to an old metal chair close by. Feebly hanging on to its unsteady legs, Tiny painfully stood up and wobbled over to a window that overlooked the tall bushes where he usually parked. Trembling in fear, she peeked outside, noticed his vehicle was gone, and breathed a sigh of relief.
She had no idea how she made it out of the classroom to her house, but Aunt Madge’s scream echoed in Tiny’s bloated head as she crumbled into her aunt’s arms before she lost consciousness.
Aunt Madge whimpered in despair as she lifted Tiny into her small arms. Walking gingerly over to Tiny’s twin bed which was directly across the room from hers, she carefully laid her down before dashing into the bathroom. Reaching under the face basin, Aunt Madge quickly grabbed her medicine chest of homemade remedies and medicines before rushing back into the room to attend to Tiny’s injuries.
“Tiny? Baby? Come on, sweetie, open your eyes for me.” Aunt Madge gently slapped Tiny’s bruised cheeks and watched as she blinked her eyes rapidly, before she slowly stole a peek through her swollen left eye.
“Baby, it’s me,” Aunt Madge whispered. “You’re going to be all right.” The tears poured down Aunt Madge’s face as she sat on the edge of the small metal bed looking down on her niece’s bruised body.
“Where are you, Lord? If there is a time that we need you, it’s now,” Aunt Madge prayed with her hands raised high in the air. “Help us through this trial. Please, I’m begging you.”
Tiny cried softly as she watched Aunt Madge praying for her. I can’t let anything happen to her. Tiny thought to herself. I have to take this secret to my grave.
“Tiny. Tiny.” Tiny realized Aunt Madge was talking to her. She opened her busted lips to speak, but it was too strenuous, so she allowed the silent tears to speak for her.
“Baby, were you raped?” Aunt Madge asked worriedly but Tiny shook her head. Aunt Madge breathed a sigh of relief. That was one less problem to deal with.
“Sweetheart, I cleaned the wounds with my bay rum and cerasee medicine and applied some heated kerosene oil and gauze,” Aunt Madge told Tiny. “Tomorrow I’m going to take you to the clinic for a checkup, then we’re going straight to the police station to file a report.”
Tiny’s eyes grew wide in fright as she shook her head from side to side. “No no no,” Tiny murmured in panic.
“What do you mean by no?” Aunt Madge asked puzzled. “You were attacked. We can’t let them hooligans get away with it. By the way, do you know who attacked you?”
Again, Tiny’s eyes bulged in terror, and she shook her head in distress. She could not afford for Aunt Madge to go to the police because she was attacked by a police officer. He was one of them. They would be on his side. She couldn’t win. There was no use . . . no use at all.
The next day Aunt Madge gave in to Tiny’s refusal to go seek treatment, telling her aunt she felt okay, that it wasn’t that bad. So Aunt Madge applied some more of her home remedy and let Tiny stay in bed. Tiny still refused to go to the police station.
“I bet it was Dolly those people were after and attacked my poor niece in retaliation,” Aunt Madge muttered to herself, refusing to accept what Tiny had become. “Maybe Tiny will now stay away from that little she-devil.”
And Tiny did, but not for the reason Aunt Madge thought. A few days later, Tiny dragged her still bruised body to Dolly’s house, only to be informed by her mother that Dolly had left the day before for Kingston.
“And I hope she never comes back,” Dolly’s mother said with apparent relief in her voice.
Tiny looked at her with disgust before she walked away. She wasn’t sure who she was more upset with . . . Dolly for leaving without even a good-bye or her no-good mother who did not care what happened to her teenage daughter.
Over the next few weeks as Tiny’s tummy grew, she used a piece of an old sheet and wrapped it tightly around her swollen belly until it was as flat as a board. She attended school as normal and every afternoon she was home helping Aunt Madge with chores around the house. Aunt Madge was elated to finally have her niece back.
“I wish Dolly all the best wherever she is,” Aunt Madge said one morning to herself. “Tiny can now move on with her life, and I won’t have to worry so much about her again.”
Aunt Madge’s words couldn’t be further from the truth.
Chapter Four
“Lord, have mercy!” Aunt Madge yelled as she dropped the bucket of water she held in her hand, water splashing everywhere. “Tiny, what is that?” She pointed at Tiny’s swollen tummy as if it wasn’t obvious.
Aunt Madge was outside when she heard the spatter of water in the bathroom and knew Tiny was having a bath. As it was her turn next, she dipped the big, plastic bucket in the water drum and carefully took it into the bathroom. There she got the shock of her life when Tiny’s pregnant belly greeted her at the door.
Tiny’s wet body slid down into the bath as she began to sob. “I’m sorry, Aunt Madge,” Tiny said. “I’m so sorry that I let you down.”
Aunt Madge ran out of the bathroom, horrified.
The roller-coaster ride Tiny had been on for the last five months had literally left her nauseated, light-headed, and drained. She had watched in alarm as her body changed in preparation for motherhood. Not knowing what to do or where to turn, Tiny decided to hide her secret for as long as possible. But not anymore. “Maybe it’s for the best that Aunt Madge finds out,” Tiny whispered as she looked down on her big stomach. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Even though she knew she was in a lot of trouble, a sense of relief flooded Tiny’s body. She no longer had to tie a sheet around her stomach, enduring the discomfort all day. No more lies, no more secrets. Well, maybe a few secrets . . . like the identity of her baby’s father.
Aunt Madge grabbed the light pink sheet from Tiny’s small bed as she ran past, wrapping it tightly around her waist before she proceeded outside. This was a practice by the older generation of Jamaican women; to ban their bellies and bawl as a
n expression of the tremendous grief they bear. With her hands on her head, Aunt Madge marched circles around the yard as she howled like a wounded, rabid dog.
Tiny watched her aunt through the window and cried even harder, her wet body now wrapped in a towel. To see Aunt Madge in so much pain was almost more than she could bear. As Aunt Madge’s cries grew louder, so did Tiny’s.
Finally, Aunt Madge knelt down on a large rock that pierced at her knees, but her heart was in too much pain to care about physical pain, and she began to pray. “Lord, this is too much for me to deal with,” Aunt Madge began. “I done fail that chile there, and now her life is completely over. Please give me the strength, dear God.”
As Aunt Madge prayed, a sudden calm washed over her as the Holy Spirit gave her comfort. Suddenly, Jeremiah 1:5 came to her troubled mind. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”
“No one is a mistake,” Aunt Madge whispered as she digested the verse. “I might not like the way and time this baby was conceived, but God knows best.” Slowly Aunt Madge got up off the ground and went back inside the house, where a terrified Tiny was now hiding in the closet.
“Tiny, come out, sweetheart,” Aunt Madge said as she sat on the edge of her bed facing Tiny’s.
Hearing the love and affection in Aunt Madge’s voice, Tiny poked out her head from the closet, her brows knitted in confusion. Tiny saw the warmth in Aunt Madge’s eyes and knew although she was disappointed in her, she wasn’t going to forsake her.
Tiny quickly exited the closet and took a seat on the bed, facing Aunt Madge, her protruding stomach resting on her lap.
“Who did this?” Aunt Madge asked as she pointed to Tiny’s stomach. “Who is the father?”
Tiny’s eyes grew wide in fear. “I . . . I . . . I don’t know,” she lied.
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know,’ Tiny?” Aunt Madge questioned. “Are you afraid of him?” she asked after seeing the fear in her niece’s eyes. “Did he threaten you or something?”
Tiny whimpered softly, her eyes tightly closed, shaking her head from side to side. She folded under her lips and refused to say another word.
Aunt Madge gave a big sigh. “I am not happy about this,” she began. “And quite frankly, I don’t even know how we are going to get through this. But I’m going to trust the Lord.” Tiny stared at her apologetically. “It will be hard, but God never makes a mistake.”
Tiny jumped off her bed and ran across the room. She hugged her aunt, the only mother she knew. For the first time in months, Tiny began to have some hope.
The next morning as Tiny stared down on her engorged tummy, she knew she could not go back to school. It was an era when pregnant girls were not allowed to stay in school, and Aunt Madge had forbid her to tie down her tummy because it was harmful to the baby. So Tiny stayed hidden at home, missing the last year of high school.
Tiny had also stopped going to church. She did not have the heart to deal with the whispering, the pitiful stares, the tongue-lashing, and the nasty gossip. But most of all, she was scared to see Officer Gregg and ashamed to look at his wife. Tiny was aware that she was the talk of the small town. Aunt Madge was also being labeled as a bad mother, and this put Tiny in a deep depression.
“My niece, please don’t listen to what people say about you,” Aunt Madge told Tiny one morning before she left for the market. Aunt Madge was a small-time farmer who sold her yams, bananas, sweet potatoes, breadfruits, sweet corn, ackees, oranges, mangoes, and grapefruits at the market in town. “The only opinion that matters is the Lord’s.” Aunt Madge did everything to get Tiny out of the funk but to no avail. She cooked all her favorite dishes, but even her delicious meals tasted like cardboard to Tiny. She ate just enough for the baby’s sake, got very little sleep, and worked around the house from morning to dawn, pushing her swollen body into exhaustion.
The nights ran into days and days into nights, until late one afternoon Tiny’s life was interrupted by the sharpest and worst pain she’d ever felt. “Woiee!” she screamed as another pain shook her body. “Lord, have mercy. Aunt Madge, I’m dying.” Tiny thrashed her legs around frantically on her bed, her arms waving wildly in the air as one contraction after another assaulted her body. Her thin nightgown clung to her body and was drenched in sweat.
“You are not dying, sweetheart. You’ll get through this. Just take deep breaths until I get back,” Aunt Madge replied. “I have to run and get Miss Mandy.” Miss Mandy was an elderly midwife who had delivered many babies for the women in the community for over three decades.
Tiny watched helplessly as Aunt Madge rushed out the door. She needed her aunt to stay by her side, but she knew she had to get the midwife. They could not afford to go to the hospital.
Across town at the Falmouth Hospital, a dedicated Officer Gregg was with his wife who just also happened to be in labor. The same night that Tiny had told him she was pregnant, when he finally got home, his wife also informed him that she too was pregnant. However, where he had tried to kill his teenage mistress, he lifted his wife high into the air and squealed with happiness. That was very good news . . . unlike Tiny’s.
Now, months later, surrounded by her doctor, nurses, and her dedicated husband, Mrs. Gregg was getting ready to give birth to her first child.
Alone at home, Tiny whimpered in pain as another contraction hit. Her frightened eyes stared helplessly into the ceiling as she pleaded for God to take her out of her misery. “Woieee!” Tiny screamed again as she twisted and turned on the small bed, sweat pouring down her face. “I can’t take this anymore. Aunt Madge!”
A few minutes later Aunt Madge burst through the door and rushed over to Tiny. Tears filled her eyes as she watched her niece bathe in anguish. Miss Mandy wobbled in after her and went straight to work.
After a few agonizing hours in the small semidark one-bedroom house, little Dupree came into the world at 10:30 p.m. on January 25th, 1979.
And around that same time, on January 25th, Anthony Gregg Jr. was born. There was a big celebration at the hospital by the proud father, the delighted grandparents, relatives, and friends of the newborn.
One mother was elated while the other was tormented. Was this a premonition into the lives of these two innocent children?
Chapter Five
“Waaaaah!” the baby yelled as she kicked her tiny legs in the air. “Waaaaaah!”
“Tiny! Tiny!” Aunt Madge shouted from the outside kitchen. “The baby is crying, chile.”
Tiny ignored her as she sat in the yard under the hibiscus trees, staring out into the bushes below the house.
“Tiny, go and feed the baby.” Aunt Madge’s voice traveled from the kitchen into the yard.
Tiny sucked her teeth loudly and rolled her eyes. With her arms folded around her tummy, she stretched out her legs and nestled her head against the bark of the tree.
Aunt Madge came out of the kitchen as the baby continued to cry and looked at Tiny. “Girl, don’t you hear the baby crying?” Aunt Madge asked sternly. “She is hungry and probably needs to be changed.”
Tiny continued staring mutely at the bushes without even glancing at her aunt. With a deep sigh, Aunt Madge shook her head and wiped her wet hands on the apron around her waist. Without another word, she turned around and walked up the steps, into the house to attend to the baby. This was fast becoming a regular practice.
It was five days since Baby Dupree was born, and Tiny hadn’t touched the baby once. In fact, she totally ignored the child. Aunt Madge could not understand what was going on.
“I think she just needs some time to get used to being a mother,” Aunt Madge had said to her good friend, Mother Sassy, just the day before. “This is a big adjustment for her.”
“Hmmm, if you say so,” Mother Sassy had replied skeptically. “As far as I can see, there is no bond between Tiny and that baby. She even refused to name her own child.”
And that was true. When Aunt Madge had asked Tiny what name she would give the baby, Tiny turned her head away without a response.
“How about Dupree?” Aunt Madge had suggested enthusiastically. “I think that’s a very unique and cute name.”
Tiny shrugged her shoulders and rolled over on the bed, pulling the sheet over her head.
But Aunt Madge was optimistic. “Everything is done in due time,” she said to Mother Sassy. Aunt Madge wondered when that time would be due.
The next day as a weary Aunt Madge walked along the narrow, dirt road to the house, balancing a big basket on her head, the screams of the baby reverberated in the air. That day was the first time she had left Tiny and the baby alone to go to the market. With a deep frown on her face, Aunt Madge quickened her steps. As the baby’s cries grew louder, the weariness forgotten, Aunt Madge broke out in a trot. Placing the overloaded basket by the front door, she hurried into the house.
A foul smell assaulted her nostrils as she entered. Aunt Madge quickly walked over to the distressed baby lying in the middle of the small bed and realized the odor was coming from her. “Tiny! Tiny, where are you?” No response. Aunt Madge’s eyes scanned the room for Tiny, but she was nowhere to be found.
In record time Aunt Madge changed the baby’s diaper and lifted her tiny body into her arms and over her shoulder.
“Shhhh.” Aunt Madge rocked the screaming baby gently as she prepared her formula. Tiny had blatantly refused to breast-feed after the baby was born.
“Tiny, you have to breast-feed the baby,” Aunt Madge had told her moments after the baby was born. “Not only is breast milk the best, but we really can’t afford to buy baby feed.” But her words went in one ear and tumbled out the other.
“Okay, my little one, here we go.” Aunt Madge sat on the edge of the bed with the baby in the crook of her arms. She placed the bottle into the baby’s mouth and the hungry child latched onto it. As Dupree sucked greedily, the tears welled up in Aunt Madge’s eyes. She realized that the baby hadn’t been changed or fed for the entire day. “I wonder where that girl went leaving the baby alone,” Aunt Madge mumbled.
God Has Spoken Page 3