Recklessly

by A. J. Sand

  “Brody…come on,” Lana said.

  “Sorry, force of habit,” Brody said, shrugging, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

  “How are you? Excited for the Expo?” Lana asked. “Wes and I are. You both are talking to your sponsors’ buyers today, right?”

  “Uh, yeah, me and assho…me and Brody are going to talk to the ClearWater guys…right?” Wes said, and he tested the limits of his hatred for the guy by extending his hand in his direction. Damn, the things he was willing to do for this woman. Lana was looking over at Brody, probably pleading with her eyes for him to take Wes’ hand. He looked at it as if he thought Wes might have spit in it first, but he did take it, though, with reluctance matching Wes’.

  “Yeah…” Brody said with no modulation in his tone before he walked out to the Surfing Expo floor, that stupid shadow of a grin still on his mouth. The hustle and bustle was already in full effect, and Wes loved the Expo because it displayed the business and networking side of the surfing industry. It was also a chance for him to show that he took his job seriously…sometimes. He loved talking to the retailers and buyers, and he thought the surfers were much better at discussing the products since they actually used them.

  “You want to walk around with me or are you good on your own?” he asked her.

  “No, go work, baby. I’ll be fine!” she said with a kiss and a smile. He had asked out of courtesy, but he was glad she wanted to explore the place on her own. He watched her walk off, and thought about how much he really liked watching her walk off, before he went to mingle. He found her two hours later at the Wave Saver table, sketching something for the representative, who was nodding and smiling. He shoved his business card in her hands before she bounded for Wes.

  “What was that?” Wes asked with excited curiosity.

  “So, I know it’s weird, but I’ve always had a problem with the way the Wave Saver logo looked. I’m always redesigning things in my head, total artsy fartsy girl. But they haven’t changed it in years and it’s kinda outdated, so I told him…and he humored me and let me re-draw it the way I envisioned.”

  “That’s awesome, babe. And I’m not surprised. Have you ever thought about that? Using your art for work?”

  “Yes, I have thought about it,” she said with a forced smile as she linked arms with him.

  “And?” he prompted.

  “And I’m not interested. It’s something I love doing. Why ruin it by making it work?” She turned her head to him, that defiant stare of hers fixed on her face. “You said you didn’t care that I was a server at Vices and that I taught Bar Method, right? Is that still the case?”

  “Yeah…” he said stroking her face.

  “So, let me be a server at Vices and teach Bar Method.”

  “Okay, I didn’t get mad when you added your two cents in about my surfing, but I don’t care about that at all. I was just—”

  “Wes, just let it be.”

  He pushed back verbally. “I think you’re talented, Lana. I’m not going to shut up about wanting people to see it.”

  “Okay, I know I’m talented and I’m thankful for your support, but not wanting a job in the art industry isn’t something that has to do with fear or laziness or anything, so I don’t need the push, Wes. Or want it. Don’t make that some cause for you…don’t try to make me Lana, well-renowned artist. My art is mine and I don’t want to change that. The Wave Saver guy and I were just having a conversation. It wasn’t supposed to be some catalyst—”

  “Jesus, dude, no one is trying to change you!” Wes ended the conversation by pressing a kiss to her mouth because he didn’t want to argue anymore, and he was glad when she just relented and kissed him back.

  Chapter 11 Ru(i)n

  The trade show industry party was already in full swing when he and Lana arrived, and high-pitched squeals erupted at the sight of them.

  It was an outdoor ultra lounge party on the fifth floor pool deck of the same hotel, overlooking a stretch of beach: sleek, conversation piece furniture arranged in groups around the pool, cabanas lit with neon lighting, a hotel, trance music, trendy cocktails and small plates, and a giant screen on the outside wall flashing photos of past surfing events. Wes was sure there was a dress code, but he threw on a red Lava shirt, black Lava hat, jeans and Converses, anyway; Lana wore a sleeveless black bandage dress with flat sandals.

  “My boyfriend, the pussy magnet,” Lana whispered, and he squeezed her butt.

  “What did I tell you about saying that word…” he whispered back.

  “Hey, Wes…” Sloane Benson said as she walked up to them. Wes had forgotten that she worked for Switchfoot Sally, a women’s surfing apparel brand, which was why she was at the trade show.

  “Hi. You’re Benzo, right?” Lana said, smiling and jutting her hand out.

  Sloane dragged her eyes from Wes to Lana. “Sloane, actually.”

  “Sloane…hi,” Lana said as she forced her laugh away. “Lana.”

  “So, are you going to be free at all tonight?” Sloane asked, and Lana snickered.

  “Uh…for?”

  “I’m having this thing at my place...a small after-party. You know these events get kinda lame after a while.”

  “Can my girlfriend come?”

  “I don’t take up much room, I promise…” Lana said with a challenging stare and a quiet laugh.

  “And I’m not going anywhere Lana doesn’t want to go…or can’t go, so…” Wes added. Sloane breathed out in exasperation and whipped out her cell phone. She typed for a few seconds and Wes’ cell buzzed just as she stopped.

  “That’s the address. See you there…you, too, Lana…” She spun and walked away.

  “Ouch. Cat-ty,” Lana said with a giggle against Wes’ ear. “And they say I’m the one with the enchantment down there…Wes Elliott and His Magic Stick. I guess you’re the sequel…”

  “Well, you would know…” Wes teased back, locking his hands against the small of her back.

  “I do!” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, I have a feeling Sloane and elevator girl are just the tip of the iceberg, so I’m gonna grab drinks.”

  “Vodka soda, please,” Wes said.

  “‘Drinks’ plural are for me,” she said with a wink. Lana pumped out a friendly wave to Abel, as he approached from the other side of the pool. He looked glum but his expression morphed into something even more stoic when he reached Wes’ side.

  “What’s up?”

  “Heard from mom. She’s back home from Aunt Vicky’s…” For the last week, their mom had been staying with Charlotte’s mom during a tense period with their dad, and Wes had been ignoring her calls. There was always this internal conflict within him, wanting to involve himself enough to stop the strife between his parents but also needing to cut himself off from it completely.

  Fiery frustration speared through him like a hot poker. Of course she is. “Yeah? What’d she say?” As much as he didn’t want to know, the question just rolled off his tongue; it was hard not to care, hard not to be angry, hard not to feel utterly fucking helpless.

  “Wesley…” Abel said in a disapproving tone.

  “Abel…” Wes replied, imitating his tone. “You walked over here…you obviously wanted to tell me something.”

  Abel sighed. “She gave me some story about the hassle of separating mortgage and car payments, and courts…and she’s fine. And life is fine, and she just wants to avoid the whole subject. God, why won’t they just sign the fucking papers and get out of that shit?”

  Wes clenched his teeth then smirked at his brother. “So it’s starting to bug you too, finally?”

  “It’s always bugged me, Wesley. I just know it gets to you more, so I don’t say anything…” Abel trailed off as his gaze lifted behind Wes. “Whoa, that’s Char,” he continued, pointing.

  “She’s here?” Of course, she’s here. It’s a party. Wes swung around and realized his brother meant the large screen of flashing pictures on the side of the
building. “How can you tell? Those faces are, like, twenty feet above us.”

  “Ankle tattoo. The purple flower with her parents’ names. The script was nearly as tall as we are.”

  “God, does she have to go to every party?” Wes shook his head.

  “She’s sort of pissed off at you, right? Let’s surprise her with it. I’m sure the guy with the photos will email it to me. We’ll send a smartass message with it about how she even manages to show up to parties that she’s not physically at,” Abel said, and he was walking toward the man behind the laptop before Wes could respond. Wes followed him, motioning his location to Lana, who had somehow gotten herself caught in a group of surfers’ girlfriends.

  “Hey, dude, can we get a picture you had up there about two, three seconds ago?” Abel asked the man, and Wes recognized him as a frequent photographer of the many surfing events he went to. He stepped out of the way and let him and Wes peer down at his screen so they could scroll through the pictures.

  “Ah! There it is…” Wes said but he stopped Abel from clicking on the photo when his eyes settled on the ones several pictures over. More of Charlotte, maybe partying a little too hard for his liking. Hypocritical of them, sure, but this was their little cousin, and especially with Lana’s suspicions about her drug use. His eyes instinctively drifted down a row. Brody. And he suddenly couldn’t look away, scanning more of the pictures, because he hated that Charlotte and Brody were at the same party together. Then he looked down another row. Lana. He gulped. She and Brody weren’t in any pictures together, but it was clear that it was still the same party. Fuckin’ Brody again.

  Were these recent? He couldn’t remember her telling him she’d gone to Orange County. She didn’t have to tell him, but to not mention anything at all? There was a sudden shift in his heartbeats, which were increasing past the speed from when Abel was speaking about their mom. “Excuse me, sir? When was this? When was this party?”

  “Uhh…” The man trailed off as he switched places with Wes. “That was the Surf for Life party, and I uploaded them last week, which meant the party was sometime the week before.”

  When Lana was “working like crazy,” according to her, he thought. They had spoken every day when he was in Brazil, and she hadn’t mentioned it at all at any point. In fact, he remembered telling her that it was an event he was missing because of the trip, and she hadn’t said anything about going. She kept this from me? Sadness and confusion pulled his stomach tight as he turned to look at her, and he didn’t know if he was more upset that she hadn’t told him or because she was there with Brody. Everything was all tangled in his thoughts.

  “Hey, can I talk to you a sec, please?” he asked, approaching her. Lana turned to him with a smile, but it fell away quickly.

  “You okay?” she asked as they stepped away from the group.

  “You were in Huntington at the Surf for Life party?” he whispered, and she went pale. “How come you didn’t say anything? I’m pretty sure we spoke the night of that party.”

  “Fuck.” Remorse filled her features. “Wes, I—”

  “So, you weren’t just working a lot? You were partying with Charlotte…and Brody?”

  “No, I was working, Wes. That was true. I was teaching at a Bar Method studio in O.C. that needed some extra instructors, and I’m certified so I can teach anywhere. My regular clients also referred me to some of their friends who live down there.”

  “And you happened to be working in O.C. when I was out of town, and then you and Brody just happened to end up at the party you decided not to tell me about? I don’t have a problem with you going to parties, obviously, or having a life outside of me, but why go through the effort of keeping it a secret?”

  “Well, because I didn’t tell you everything…”

  “Oh, you mean the hanging out with Brody part? Uh, that’s lying by omission, Lana. And just like regular lying, it all ends up in the same place! With us getting into an argument. Is that the only thing you’re keeping from me? It only happened that week?”

  Her glass slipped from her hand and crashed to the pool deck as she reached to touch him. “You know I would never cheat on you, right? I meant what I said; I’m not in love with Brody. I don’t love him, either. Look, since I knew you were going to be out of town, I figured it was also a good time to handle Sadie stuff, so I decided to work in O.C. as well and crash with a friend, so I could spend the time down there without commuting back and forth. I changed my Vices schedule and everything. Brody and I made plans to meet with the Olins and figure out how to handle interactions during their last few weeks here. I didn’t even want to be at that stupid party. I went to coax Brody out of changing his mind about meeting up with them. He’s been frustrated that he can’t just get his way with the Olins and meet Sadie on his terms, and he was ready to give up on having a relationship with them and her. I just want him to have his shit together, so he can be a part of her life.”

  Wes growled in exasperation. “Give up? He probably never even wanted to be a part of her life. He really just wanted to see you! Or bait me ‘cause he knew I would find out about it.”

  “You’re still stuck on this Brody thing! Like you have been since you found out our history. You’ve let it be a wedge between us! I’m not the wave he stole from you, Wes. I don’t give a fuck what Brody’s intentions are with me. My only interest is Sadie!” she shot back.

  “He’s a d-bag. Maybe she’s better off, Lana…”

  Lana pulled away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t need your advice. This situation existed before you.”

  “And, uh, yeah, a lot of things in my life existed before you, too, and I make an effort to tell you everything! You never even have to ask!” Wes said.

  “Well maybe if you weren’t being so psycho about this Brody thing—”

  “Psycho? Psycho?” His eyes widened in shock as annoyance ripped through him. “Wow, Lan.”

  Her face softened. “Okay…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that…” She dropped a wary hand on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have called you a name.”

  It was Wes’ turn to step back; he didn’t need this on top of his parents’ bullshit. “He’s been trying to fuck you this whole time, just like I thought, but I’m the one being psycho. He’s probably been having a really good laugh at my expense, too, knowing I’m getting angry at him over my girlfriend and then being cordial and shaking his hand in elevators, when you’re spending time with him behind my back! You know how that makes me look? You know how that makes me feel?” Wes’ eyes narrowed on her.

  Bitterness turned her face to steel. “Wes, you won’t just let me handle Brody. I was doing things my way before we started dating, okay? Yeah, I wasn’t a hundred percent truthful, but you don’t trust me, anyway, clearly. You think Brody’s supposed desires would somehow override the fact that he was too much of a coward to admit that we were really together once? But more importantly, my faithfulness to you? And my feelings for you? I’m being civil to him against my better judgment because of Sadie. That’s always the case. And how can I tell you about any of this when you’re going to be stubborn, shut down because of your issues with him, and not try at all?!”

  “Not try? Not try?! I tried in the elevator for you! I tried at my U.S. Open party for you! Bending over backwards for you when he’s apparently trying to bend—”

  “Don’t you fucking dare!” she shouted. She clenched her fists at her sides. “Don’t you fucking even say that shit.”

  “I’m outta here.” Wes spun, finally getting a chance to see that most of the party guests were staring at them as he headed for the elevator. Without even turning around, he knew Abel was on his heels, and he slid in behind him right before the doors closed. Wes pressed the G button and sighed.

  “What was that about?”

  “She was secretly seeing Brody while we were in Rio and lying to me about it.”

  “Whoa. What? She’s fucking him?”

  Wes shoo
k his head. “Not cheating, just not telling me the truth about them spending time together. I mean, I know it’s an adjustment for her letting me into this situation, but…” The doors popped open. “Fuck. I just need to walk this off alone, and she doesn’t know a lot of people here. Stay with her, please.” Wes pushed the up arrow and jumped out of the elevator. He went to the place that always soothed him: the beach, which was just across the street from the hotel. He walked straight up to the edge of the water, nodding politely to the people out there, too. His chest was tightening and he was already regretting what had transpired, but it was just one fight. They had argued a little earlier at the Expo but that was normal. In a weird way, this blowup was a milestone marking the end of the honeymoon period. Fuck. This wasn’t the place to have this conversation. I hurt her.

  Wes pulled out his phone about fifteen minutes later and sent her a text: I love you. On my way back.

  He went back into the hotel, headed for the pool deck, and ran into Abel as soon as the doors opened. “Fuck, I overreacted, didn’t I?” Wes said solemnly. “I mean, I’m mad and I’m sure I’m right, but I should’ve waited until I had cooled down a bit instead of having it out right there. My head just got crowded in the heat of the moment —Charlotte, mom and dad, and then finding out she was spending time with Brody like that. Why am I telling you this? Where’s Lana?”

  “She’s not with you?” Abel asked, growing concerned.

  Wes’ heart dropped. “Um…no…” He pushed past him and moved through the party crowd, with his cell phone pressed to his ear, calling her. In the short time he’d been downstairs, the place had filled up with more attendees. “Lana! Lana!” Her cell rang until it went to voicemail.

  “Wes!” Christian strode in his direction, his expression matching Abel’s. “Are you all right?”

  “Have you seen Lana?” He was edging into panic.

  “Nope. Is something wrong? Is she all right?”

  “I don’t know…I can’t find her. We had a fight and I left. And I think she left. She’s not answering. You seen her?”