“What ye be sayin’? Ya. Sure I be doin’ that.”
“Someone wants me dead. Take them to Judge Kenton in Coeur d’Alene if I don’t make it.”
“Ye can be countin’ on it.”
Mag McHenry appeared beside them. “Who be it, McHenry?”
“It’s Steven Marz. He be hurt bad.”
Mag let out a keening cry. “Oh, poor mon. Bring him in, McHenry. Bring the poor mon in.”
Steven tilted himself toward McHenry’s waiting arms and slipped into merciful darkness.
McHenry was sitting beside him when he awakened. He was lying on a bed and he felt no pain. His eyelids seemed to weigh ten pounds each; it was such an effort to hold them open.
“I can’t feel,” he whispered.
“It be the potion Mag give ya to ease the pain while she tended ye.”
“Am I hurt bad?”
“Aye. bad enough. Ye be most drained a blood an’ need ta be drinkin’ water, Mag say.” He held a glass of water and poked the end of a dried reed in his mouth. “Suck it up.”
Steven drank and closed his eyes wearily, then opened them.
“The papers?”
“Hid away like ye said. Yer horse be in the barn an’ nobody know ye be here.”
“Important. Get them to Judge Kenton.”
“I be doin’ it. Who shot ye, mon?”
“Someone on the upper trail.”
“The marshal I sent for is here. He rode out, but be comin’ back. I’ll be askin’ him to see ’bout who shot ye.”
“No! God, no! Don’t tell him. Please, McHenry. Don’t tell the marshal. Don’t tell anyone I’m here.” Steven tried to rear up in bed. McHenry, with a deep worried frown on his face, gently held him down.
“If that’s what ye want, mon.”
Steven closed his eyes and drifted into unconsciousness.
Ben didn’t go to the house until the evening chores were done. He wanted to give James and Dory time alone together. When he did go in, he carried a pail of fresh milk and the eggs Wiley had gathered from the hen house. Odette was in the kitchen preparing supper, and Jeanmarie sat at the table drawing pictures on the tablet.
“Hello, Papa,” Odette said.
“Hello, Papa,” Jeanmarie echoed and scribbled on the paper, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth.
A soft expression of warmth and gentleness came over Ben’s face. He could only marvel that he was not shocked by the child’s greeting.
“What are you doing?” Ben asked, looking over Jeanmarie’s curly red head to the paper.
“Making a pussycat. See the whiskers?”
“Sure do. I see the ears too.”
Jeanmarie drew a long line that curled at the end. “That’s the tail.”
James came into the kitchen. “I persuaded Dory to lie down for a while. She feels pretty bad about Marie Malone. I’ve been going through the desk in the study. Louis has taken everything out that amounts to anything.”
“What did you hope to find?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just looking for anything that will help us decide what to do.” James sat at the table and stared at his clasped hands.
Ben sank down in a chair beside him and spoke in a low tone, not knowing how much the child would understand.
“It seems to me you have two choices. Go or stay. If you go, you’ll have to leave your shares in the company behind unless you can get that judge to divide the property. If you stay, you’ve not only got to fight Milo and Louis, but to guard Dory against this crazy killer until he’s caught.”
“Dory doesn’t want to go. She’s more determined than ever to hold on to what Papa left us. She feels she would be turning her back on all that he worked for if she left it to Milo and Louis. Without Steven, they would have run it into the ground in no time at all.”
“What do you want to do?”
“It isn’t what I want to do, it’s what I’ve got to do. I don’t give a hoot and a holler about the company. I’m not working for the Callahan Lumber Company ever again. I’ve got to look after Dory until she’s settled with a good man who will take care of her.” James looked into Ben’s eyes. “Why don’t you marry her, for God’s sake?”
“That wouldn’t solve the problem. Even if she would have me, she still wouldn’t want to leave here. It would be you and me against the other two; and before a month went by, one of them or both of us would be dead. Besides that, I don’t think two people should marry unless they want to be together and build a family.”
“Don’t you want to be with her? You’ll not find a better woman anywhere,” he said, and his eyes dared Ben to contradict him.
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Maybe you’re believing what’s been said about her.” James’s eyes turned frosty.
“Climb down off your high horse. You know that isn’t so. I don’t want her to agree to take me under these circumstances. Oh, hell. I want a woman to want me, love me. Can’t you understand that?”
“I thought you said you didn’t know anything about love.”
“Damnation! My personal life isn’t the problem.”
“What the hell do you think we should do?”
“I’ll tell you what works for me. In case of doubt—don’t. I wouldn’t do anything just yet. I think the two of us can find enough to do around here to keep us busy for a while. They say possession is nine-tenths of the law. If she wants her home, she’ll have to stay in it.”
“Louis doesn’t care about this place.”
“It’ll irk him if he’s kept out of it.”
“He’ll be as mad as a peed-on snake.”
Both men looked up as Dory came into the room.
“I went to sleep. I haven’t slept during the daytime for years.” Some of the swelling had left her battered face and the bruises around her eyes and cheekbones had darkened. One side of her mouth was still so swollen that it looked as if she was poking her cheek out with her tongue.
“Sit down, Dory. Supper is ready.” Odette carried a stack of plates to the table. “Papa, call Wiley.”
Ben noticed how pretty Odette looked. Her face was rosy, her eyes bright. Her hair was tied back with a ribbon. He saw James looking at her often. The unease that skittered around in Ben’s mind intensified when he saw the way Odette looked at James. He had never seen her gaze at anyone so openly. An expression of warmth and happiness shone on her face. She’s smitten with him. Good Lord! He couldn’t let much more time go by before he got the man aside and set him straight about a few things.
Jeanmarie chattered throughout the meal. Wiley, wise old man that he was and realizing the others had plenty on their minds, filled in the voids.
James and Dory were quiet.
Ben looked up once and saw Dory’s eyes glistening with tears. She quickly batted them away. She’s grieving for her lover’s mother. Ben was unaware of the frown the thought provoked. He didn’t like to think of that long-ago boy being her lover.
As soon as the meal was over, Wiley picked up his shotgun and ambled off toward the bunkhouse.
“He doesn’t go anywhere without that gun,” Dory said. “He thinks Milo will try to kill him.”
“I have a feeling that old wolf can take care of himself.” Ben moved back from the table. Jeanmarie slid off her stool and climbed onto his lap.
“Oh, honey, don’t. Ben’s been hurt.” Dory reached to lift her down.
Ben shifted the child higher onto his lap, moving her so that she didn’t lean on his injured arm.
“You’re not hurting me, are you, curly-top?”
Jeanmarie grinned up at her mother, snuggled closer to Ben and put her head on his chest. Her small hand moved up to rest against his neck.
“He likes me, Mama.”
Dory’s eyes flashed quickly to Ben’s. They looked as if they were seeking something. Sadness sagged the corners of her mouth as she turned away.
Ben held the child and watched the women remove th
e empty bowls and plates from the table, wash the dishes and put the kitchen in order. He feasted his eyes on Dory’s slim, neat figure. He knew she was hurting, but she kept her back straight and her head up. A wave of possessiveness came over him. Suddenly what he wanted was clear in his mind. He wanted Dory to be his. He wanted this child in his lap to be his. He wanted to belong to the two of them.
James was restless. He smoked several cigarettes, thumbed through a Police Gazette, and finally went outside.
Deep in thought, Ben was unaware that Jeanmarie was asleep until Dory came to him.
“I’ll take her upstairs.”
“I’ll do it. You shouldn’t lift her until your ribs have healed.” He shifted the child to lie against his shoulder and followed Dory out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
To Dory’s surprise, Ben stayed in the room while she undressed Jeanmarie, slipped the nightdress over her head, and tucked her in bed. From time to time she glanced at him. He leaned against the wall and watched her.
Dory began to wonder what kind of a lover he would be. Would he be gentle or would he pounce on her and demand his rights? If she were married to him, those hands, so generously sprinkled with fine black hair, would touch her in her most intimate places. He was looking at her, his head tilted to one side, his eyes as deep as the sea. Not a muscle twitched in his face, nor did a smile appear on his lips. Because he was looking at her so intently, the blood rushed to her face and she felt a bit giddy.
“We brought the mattress in from James’s room so Odette could be in here with me and Jeanmarie.” She had told him that before, but she said it again to break the silence.
When Ben didn’t speak, Dory cleared her throat. It felt as dry as dust. She purposely kept her eyes on the wall beside his head. Just when she thought he would never move, he straightened and held out his hand. Dory looked at it stupidly at first, then put her hand in his.
He pulled her to him, put his arms around her and held her in a gentle, protective embrace. Leaning on him, she closed her eyes, feeling the beat of his life’s blood, his breath on her upturned face. This was a moment she would keep in her heart forever.
Ben reached out and turned the lamp wick until there was only the barest light in the room.
“Will we bother the baby if we talk in here?”
“Nothing bothers her once she’s sleeping.”
He led her over to the mattress on the floor, sank down and pulled her down beside him. He sat with his back to the wall, his long legs stretched out in front of him, and, with his arm around her, drew her close. Dory laid her head on his shoulder with a sense of wonder that this was happening.
Was he only offering strength and comfort?
Had she come into his arms willingly or because he had fought for her?
CHAPTER
* 21 *
“I don’t know where to begin,” Ben said softly. “I’m not good with words.”
Dory found his hand and gently rubbed her fingers over his bruised and broken knuckles.
“You did all right last night. Louis believed you.”
“I meant every word I said to him. What I want to say to you is much more important.”
“Then say it,” she whispered fearfully.
“I want a family.” The words came out shakily. He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was firm and full of purpose. “Tonight the baby called me papa. I want to be her papa. I want the two of you and Odette to be my family.”
“Oh, Ben! I want that too.” Dory felt as if she had been lifted out of a black pit.
“You must know some things about me before you agree to spend your life with me.”
“Your past has nothing to do with now. If you’re willing to take me and my child— Oh, Ben, I’ve hoped and prayed for a man like you.”
“Wait, Dory. I want you to know about me before you make a decision that will affect your life and mine for as long as we live.”
“I’ve already made it. Nothing you will say will change my mind.”
“I was thrust upon my aunt and uncle because there wasn’t anyone else to take care of me,” he began doggedly, ignoring what she had said.
“Oh… Ben.” She hated the idea that he had been a lonely little boy.
“They had no children of their own, didn’t even like them. I was ten years old before I realized that there were families that laughed together, cared for one another.”
He told her about being sent to prison for murdering his uncle.
“How awful for a young boy.”
“Honey, I might have been a boy in years, but by the time I went to that prison, I was a man and knew how to take care of myself. If I hadn’t had to scratch and claw all my life, they would have broken me. You’ve no idea what goes on in those places.”
“Thank God you got out!” Dory leaned back so that she could see his face. “I want to cry when I think of you there.”
“After the first couple of years it wasn’t so bad. In fact, the years with Tom Caffery, who was like a father to me, were the best of my life up to then. He’s the one who taught me about the engines. When I met him, I could hardly read and write. He taught me to appreciate fine paintings and good books. He made me see that I was worth something, that other people would see me as I see myself. Now I know that I loved that old man. At the time I didn’t know it. The last few years of his life he was in constant pain. I like to think that I partially repaid him for all he had done for me.”
“You don’t have to tell me any of this.”
“I want to. We’ve got to level with each other.”
Dory’s heart soared. Utterly happy, she curled against him.
He told about meeting the girl at the boardinghouse and about the letter he received thirteen years later.
“Odette was the surprise awaiting me. The woman swore that she was my daughter. At first I didn’t believe it, but given Odette’s age and birthdate it could be true. I decided I couldn’t take the chance that she wasn’t mine. She’s been with me three years.”
“She’s a daughter you can be proud of.”
“There is no way for me to know for sure if Odette is of my flesh and blood, but she is my daughter. She’ll always be my daughter.” It nagged at his mind that he should tell her of the possibility that Odette could be Milo’s or Louis’s daughter, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it.
“Oh, Ben. You are a good man. A truly good man.”
“Well, there it is. I’m no prize, but I’ll take care of you and your daughter the best I can and I will never, never hurt you.” His stroked her cheek tenderly with his fingertips.
The vow was made so sincerely that Dory wanted to cry. In this moment of closeness, with his arms around her, she wanted to tell him that a miracle had happened. All her life she had longed to belong to someone whole-heartedly and to have him hold her as if she were something precious.
“Are you asking me to marry you?” she whispered. She tipped her head and touched his neck with her lips.
“I’m asking you to think about it. Give yourself a little time to think about what I’ve told you.”
“I don’t have to think about it. I’ve waited for you all my life.”
“I want no part of the Callahan Lumber Company. You can give your shares to James. We’ll take Odette and Jeanmarie and start up over near Spokane or go south to Boise. I’ve got money put back to start a small business.”
“You don’t want to stay here?”
Dory’s happiness began to fade. Did he want to take her where people wouldn’t know she’d had a child out of wedlock?
“If I stayed, I’d end up killing one or both of your half-brothers. It could land me back in prison.”
“What about James?”
“He’ll no longer be responsible for you. He can do as he pleases.”
Dory felt tears building behind her closed lids. How could she go from here and leave James? Yet, she loved this man with all her heart and soul.
“Ben, you haven’t said you… cared for me. I won’t marry just to have someone take care of me.”
He tilted her chin with a gentle finger.
“I like you more than any woman I’ve ever met. I’ve never even thought about spending my life with one woman until now. I want to live with you, take care of you, grow old with you. I want to sleep with you in my arms every night for the rest of my life. I want to see your belly swell with my child—a son or daughter with a mop of curly hair. I want you for my wife.”
He hadn’t said the love words she wanted to hear. She tried not to be disappointed.
“Thank you for telling me,” she whispered.
“I want to kiss you, but I don’t dare. I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“Your lips are as sore as mine. I’d hurt you too.”
He wrapped her in his arms with gentle strength and nuzzled his face in her hair.
“I need to know if you care for me,” he whispered with a nervous catch in his voice.
“I love you,” she said simply. “I’d not even consider marrying you if I didn’t love you. I knew when you came here that you were a man I could love. That’s why I was so afraid you wouldn’t stay.”
Ben was awed. No one had ever said those words to him before. He sat there, holding her gently, rubbing her back, and he knew that this was where he belonged: here with her.
“Mama and Papa loved each other,” she said dreamily. “They seemed to know each other’s thoughts. When she died, the light went out of his life.”
Ben cupped the back of her head with his hand and let his fingers slide up into the thick curls. He had not known how sweet it would be to hold her. Through the layers of clothing, his and hers, he felt her soft breasts, her hip tight against his, and a current of passion flowed through him, hardening his groin.
Would Dory be shocked if her hand dropped to his lap? Or would she enjoy that part of their life together? Dear God, he hoped so. The only woman he had ever been with who had wanted him was Odette’s mother long ago. The others had wanted the coins he placed on the table.
Dory was experiencing a heady feeling of pleasure in being held in Ben’s arms. She refused to think about anything but the present. He loved her even if he couldn’t say the words. She would wrap him in her love so that he would never be lonely again.
Sins of Summer Page 24