The Butterfly Effect

by Renea Porter

  “And you think I’m just some childish girl infatuated with her professor because you are in the authority position? Well, I’m capable of figuring out what I want, and I’ve wanted you for months, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Over the last few months, we’ve worked closely together, and I’ve gotten to know you; and you me. Still, I want this. You are what I want. I’m not doing it for a grade or anything of that nature. I would never ask that of you, and that’s just wrong any way.”

  His breathing kicks up. “I never said you were a childish girl. I’m only saying once the boundaries are crossed, there is no going back. I’ve had this feeling since we met, so I’m leaving this up to you. So you either walk out that door right now or there’s no going back.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Nathan. This is what I want. You are what I want.” I smile, cupping his face.

  “Okay then. We just need to keep this on the down low, for the time being. Until we figure this out. So you can’t tell your friends, and I prefer you not even tell your roommate, just for now. We can figure out a way to get you over here without anyone seeing.”

  “Okay, now shut up and kiss me,” I tell him.

  He kisses me with force and greed. I love every second of it. He is unlike anyone I have ever met. He’s a man of few words, so the words he spoke were truly from his heart. This is no longer an infatuation, something just clicks between us.

  After some intense making out, Nathan pulls away from me again. “God, you’re so beautiful and I want to make love to you, Riley,” he whispers.

  Oh my god. Is this really happening? I swallow a hard lump. I want this, too, as much as he does. But am I ready for this? There is no one I’d rather take my virginity than him. Handing it over to some random college guy just doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy; especially if they are the bragging type. At least I know Nathan wouldn’t brag about it. Hell, he might freak out when I do tell him, and I need to tell him.

  He lays me down against the cool leather couch; he towers over me, positioning himself between my legs. The anticipation grows in my belly. My nerves are in overdrive and every cell in my body comes alive. He leans his head into my neck, kissing it, as his hands work under the hem of my T-shirt. His hand grazes my skin, causing it to go aflame against his touch. Our lips meet again and I can’t get enough of him.

  I have to tell him now, before this goes too much farther. Pulling my head back, I place my hand on his chest, and his eyes meet mine. “There is something I need to tell you,” I say.

  He sits up on his knees. “What it is?” He’s breathless.

  “Gosh, it’s so silly,” I say nervously.

  “Riley, just come out with it,” he instructs, placing his hand on his thigh.

  I rush the words out. “I’m still a virgin.” I close my eyes as I brace for his reaction.

  “Jesus Christ, Riley,” he says. “Why are you still a virgin?”

  “Why not? I’m not the kind of girl to lose it to anyone. I was waiting for the right person. I think you are the right person. The boys my age just want one thing, and I need something more meaningful.”

  He runs his hand through his unruly brown hair. “You’re a virgin, Riley. This is serious. Well, we are definitely not doing it tonight. I want to do it right, the right way so we aren’t rushing into it. Let me at least wine and dine you first. This needs to be done the right way.” He smiles.

  I grin, huge. How is this even possible? He wants to make it special. It makes me appreciate it, and him. He leans down, brushing his lips with mine. His hand works it’s way under my shirt, but he’s still being respectful not to touch any off limit areas, for now, even though I want him to touch every inch of me. I want to be covered in him. My body yearns for his. He settles in between my legs again, his body flush against mine. I can feel his impeccable muscles under his shirt, and his biceps bulge out of his shirt sleeves. I never realized how huge he is until now.

  “God, where did I find you?” he whispers, rubbing his nose over mine.

  “In your classroom,” I say, giggling.

  He chuckles. “I think we need to cut this out for the night, before I end up with blue balls,” he says, struggling to sit back up.

  I try to stifle the giggles. “I should probably go so you can take a cold shower.” I grin. “I think I need one, too,” I admit.

  “Want to come over tomorrow evening?” he asks. “I can cook you dinner, you know wine and dine you,” he teases.

  He should smile more often.

  “Of course. What time?”

  “Is eight good for you?”

  I nod, and then stand to go. He holds my hand and kisses it while he walks me to the door. Before opening the door, he passionately kisses me, his tongue invading my mouth like he can’t get enough. Smiling against his lips, I break away, giggling and feeling like a school girl. He opens up the door, and I wave goodbye as he watches me making my way across the street.

  Inside, I close the door behind, and my emotions are running on high as I replay what just happened between us and what is about to happen. This is what I want, yet it feels like I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream. This is not real life. I hate to even shower, I’d be washing him off my skin, his touch that burned against my body, but I can only hope for a repeat tomorrow night. And I may need all night just to prepare. I need to shave in all the areas, deep condition my hair, paint my nails and that’s just the half of it.

  After getting my shower and beautifying myself, I turn my back to the mirror. Looking over my shoulder, I look at the edged tattoo of a butterfly on the back of my shoulder. The faint color is coming through. And I think about how awesome it will look as our relationship progresses. Smiling, I lay down in bed, and I still feel like I’m running on a high. I’m going to call it the Nathan high. My heart is still beating wildly in my chest, and I feel like I could run a marathon. Guess I won’t be getting any sleep after all.

  I haven’t heard from Bea since she left, but she hasn’t been gone long. I hope she at least made it home okay. Thoughts of my best friend consume my brain, while Nathan still sneaks up every now and then. Eventually, everything just sort of mingles together to send me into a dream-like state of consciousness.

  ***

  Last night was a toss and turn kind of night. Not because I was thinking about Nathan, but because I have this unnerving feeling like something is off about all of this. Yet, I can’t pinpoint what it is. I try to shove those feelings deep down and try to focus on tonight, my dinner date with Nathan. I hope he is making something good, because I’ve been starving myself all day. My nerves are shot and it’s making my appetite disappear.

  Even though I truly wanted Nathan to make the first move, I don’t regret going to his place and wanting him to kiss me, because it was worth it. It’s what I needed, what I craved and the attraction is mutual. The butterflies dance in my belly. This is the night.

  Two hours before our date, I shower once more, trying to calm my nerves. Blow drying my hair, I feel my stomach settle as I focus on the task at hand. I leave my face bare except for some lip gloss and mascara to thicken my eyelashes. Without realizing it, I start to hum to a happy tune and a smile has graced my face. Tonight is going to be amazing.

  ***

  NATHAN

  It’s almost time for Riley to come over, and the day before floods through my mind. She’s already caused me to come undone, and after kissing her, I know there is no going back, no taking back, and no life without her in it. I’ve spent most of the day cleaning my place, washing my bed sheets and getting everything in order. Her first time deserves to be special, and then I can do all the dirty things I want after. A smile creeps up on my face.

  I finish making my bed then scatter rose petals on it that I bought at the store earlier. I also bought a centerpiece for the dining room table. I set some tea light candles around the bedroom, but save lighting them for later. I make sure to keep Felix out of the room by shutting the
door behind me.

  A knock on the door brings me back to the present, as I rush to answer it. She smiles when she sees me, and I can’t help but smile back, reaching for her hand and bringing her inside. Shutting the door behind us, I immediately bring her forward, cup her face with one hand, and kiss her. It’s only been roughly twenty-four hours since she was here last, but I need her to feel what I feel. It’s clearly reciprocated in the kiss as my tongue darts into her mouth. I don’t care what she is wearing; I only care about how she’s feeling. If I don’t pull away within the next second, dinner is going to have to wait.

  I pull my lips away from hers. Yeah, she is addicting to say the least. “Hi,” I say smiling.

  “Hi.” Her eyes flutter open then she smiles back. “Is this a dream, because it feels like it?”

  “God, I hope not,” I confess.

  I take her hand in mine, leading us to the kitchen. “I hope you’re hungry.”

  “I am,” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

  I lift the lid of the crockpot and stir the meatballs, as she leans up against the counter, watching me. I feel so drawn to her; the aura that surrounds her is serene.

  “You like spaghetti and meatballs? The meatballs are homemade.”

  “Mmm, it smells good. It’s my favorite, actually.”

  “Great. Can I offer you wine to drink? You’re twenty-one right?”

  “Yes, I am. That sounds good.”

  I don’t think either of us has stopped smiling since she arrived. It’s so cheesy, I know.

  Grabbing a red wine from my rack, I grab two glasses and pour us each a glass and pass her one. “Well, dinner is almost ready. Are you missing your BFF yet? You here all alone without her.”

  “That girl can hold her own, let me tell you. She’s a free spirit. Yeah, I miss her already. But you are making my decision to stay behind a lot better.”

  “I’m glad I could be of service.” I lean in to kiss her red wine lips. “I. Can’t. Believe. You. Are. Real,” I say in between kisses.

  Grabbing two plates from the cupboard, I get dinner together, refilling our glasses, and we sit at the dining room table.

  ***

  RILEY

  “The flowers are gorgeous. I never pegged you for a flower guy,” I tell him in between bites.

  “There’s a first time for everything,” he says.

  I nod in agreement. This just doesn’t feel real, all of this. I wish I could tell him my secret, but I know that is against the rules, until we get married if we get married.

  “Okay, I’m just going to get this out of the way. I’m going to be straight up and tell you that I’m nervous. All of this makes me nervous. I’ve never been in a relationship before. I mean, I’ve been on dates and such, but never in a serious relationship. So this is all new for me.”

  Nathan reels his head back and blinks at me a few times. “Never?”

  I shake my head. “Never.”

  “Okay. I’m kind of glad. The thought of another man touching you drives me mad, anyway.”

  We both laugh and my cheeks flush.

  “There is nothing to be nervous about. I promise.” He reaches his hand across the table and rubs mine.

  “Thank you for making dinner. It’s delicious,” I tell him.

  He takes our plates to the kitchen and rinses them off then puts them in the dish washer. I help put the rest of dinner away, and Felix rubs around my ankle. I bend down to pet him. He’s so cute, an orange tabby cat. I stand back up, and Nathan is smiling at me. He brings me in for a kiss

  “Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” I ask.

  “No, go right ahead. It’s up the stairs and to the left. Actually, I’ll meet you up there, okay?”

  I smile. “Okay.”

  I take the stairs, one by one, and the closer I get the more nervous I get. Inside, I do my business and look in the mirror. You can do this, Riley. This is it. He’s the one. I take several deeps breaths, leave my handbag on the counter sink and exit the room, finding Nathan waiting for me, leaning up against the opposite wall.

  “Hey,” he whispers when he sees me.

  “Hey,” I reply, smiling.

  He takes my hand, his eyes on me as we walk down the hall to his room. Upon entering, he pushes the door open and there’s a soft glow, with lit candles everywhere and rose petals on the bed, and my breath catches.

  “You didn’t have to do all this,” I say in amazement.

  He turns to face me. “Yes, I did. This is your first time, Riley. Tonight, I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to claim your body and make you mine.”

  His comment causes me to stop breathing. I never thought about how my first time would be. I was always concerned with whom it would be with, and nothing else mattered. But him taking the time to make this special for me makes me breathless.

  Closing the door behind us, my nerves still remain, yet the anticipation is gnawing at me. The thought of him claiming me as his, sets my soul on fire. I want to be his. His only.

  A soft glow surrounds him as he comes face to face with me, his eyes full of desire and hooded. He comes forward to kiss me, and my knees go weak. All my senses feel heightened. When he kisses me, I invite his tongue inside, and we both tangle.

  After a few moments, he pulls his head back and looks into my eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want? We don’t have to do this tonight if you don’t want to.”

  I nod. “I want to do this, with you.”

  He sees the assurance he needs in my eyes, and hears it in my voice. I need this to happen since I know he is the one. He walks me backward to his bed, carefully laying me down on it. Rose petals are scattered all around me. My long hair spread everywhere around us. Positioning himself over me, he takes a strand of my hair and inhales it. The hunger in his eyes is so intense; I try to remember to breathe as he leans down to kiss me.

  I can’t get enough of his kiss, his mouth and his tongue. He smells so good, as I inhale his masculine scent. I watch in amazement as he pulls off his shirt, his sculpted chest and abs have me salivating.

  “Just so you know, I’m on the pill. I’ve been on it since the start of school.”

  “Good.” He smiles, then continues to kiss me.

  His hand grazes the hem of my top. I can feel his fingers on my skin and it feels so exhilarating. I feel like I might combust. Yes, his hands on my skin. I like it. I need it. I’m craving him. In one swift movement he loops my top over my head and leaves it wherever it lands. While I’m leaning up, I go ahead and unhook my bra, letting my breasts fall freely. Nathan’s mouth hangs agape at my large breasts. I lie back down and he takes his time exploring my body, his fingers lightly grazing over the center of my chest, down my flat stomach, and back up. His hands swirl over my sides. He’s touching every inch of me, and I’m in heaven.

  “I want to take my time with you. Explore every inch of your body so I know exactly how you react to my touch, my kisses, and when I’m inside you. You’ll be ready to blow.”

  Oh I am about to blow alright.

  True to his word, he unhooks my pants and pulls them down and flings them on the floor. I’m coming completely undone with his touch. The dampness in my panties will be evidence enough to let him know. He starts at my ankles, kissing each one, looking me in the eyes. I can’t tear my eyes away from him. His hand lightly caresses my calves, while he kisses his way up, stopping to kiss the inside of my thighs, sending chills up my spine. His fingers hook onto my thong and he slowly pulls it down. While he’s standing, he undoes his jeans and pulls them down. His length is in full view and I swallow. Nervousness sets in as he crawls up my body.

  Chapter Seven

  RILEY

  “Just relax. There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll go slow. You can tell me to stop at any time.”

  I nod.

  I can feel him pressing against me while he kisses me. He’s so hard, and my body immediately starts to rock to a rhythm against his. My breathing starts to kick
up as the anticipations builds. There is no material separating us. My hands work their way over his shoulder and down over his rigid back. Bending down, his mouth latches onto my hardened nipples. He kisses the flesh of my breasts, and comes back up to continue kissing me, more feverishly, more passionately.

  “Nathan,” I whisper.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m ready,” I tell him.

  “I’ll go slowly, so it won’t hurt.”

  He works his way over my entrance, the head just moving around my center. Then he works the head of his cock inside me and looks at me for reassurance. I nod, trying to keep my body relaxed. He slowly works himself inside me, inch by inch, and I continue to tell him it’s okay and I’m okay.

  When he’s all the way inside me, he leans down to kiss me, and then rocks his hips against mine. The sensation is overwhelming. My pulse is pulsating loudly inside my chest, and my heart is racing with excitement.

  “God, Riley. You feel so good.”

  He buries his lips against my neck, sending shivers across my body. My arms rake over his shoulders, my hands weaving through his thick, unruly hair. My back arches and molds to his, rocking our bodies together. He presses his lips hard against mine, breathing heavily. I start to pant as my body convulses against his. He follows right after, resting his head on my shoulder. I try to settle my breathing back to normal. Nathan rolls off me, and we lie there in silence, looking at each other, breathless, still panting for air.

  “Will you stay the night?” he turns his head to ask.

  “Yes. Should I go grab some clothes from my place?”

  “No, I have a shirt and boxers you can wear if you want,” he says.

  “Okay. I could use a shower, though.”

  He jumps off the bed and offers his hand to me. “Come, we can shower together.”

  In the shower, Nathan gets the water nice and hot, like our love making just was. I lost my virginity to my professor, to the man I’m supposed to be with. Tonight was the best night of my life. Nathan takes the soaped up sponge and washes it over my body, taking his time over my curves and blazing skin. He’s tender with my body.