by Riley Murphy
He welcomed the absurdity of that question. He intended to use it to introduce some more in order to get his filthy mind off of her wicked little body. “Well, that’s one way we could cure the nightmares.”
She gasped again.
“Another way,” he put a finger under her chin and lifted, searching her face, “is we could give you back some of the power you lost that day. You have no confidence with water and you’ve let fear of the experience grow, so we’re going to trim the reticence down, so to speak.”
“I don’t like the sound of this.”
He brushed his thumb over her jawline and waited a ten count. She needed to know this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. She’d agreed to this the second she’d walked through his door, so there’d be no backing out unless she spoke her safe word. She knew that as surely as he did.
“You know what the fundamental problem was that day.”
She slowly shook her head.
“You truly believed if you weren’t there for her she would have died.”
“Is that what I wrote?”
“What you wrote was I wasn’t there to save her.”
Her eyes were more green than blue. They looked stormy, almost turbulent when she whispered, “What does that mean, do you think?”
“It means you need to learn to depend on others.”
She lifted her chin and he could almost see a renewed sense of calm settle over her. Whether such a thing was good or bad, he’d have to wait to see. “Depend on you, for instance?”
He nodded. “For tonight at least.”
She eyed the pool one more time and seemed to come to terms with the situation. “I’m ready.”
But how could she be? She hadn’t seen the ropes…yet.
Chapter Nine
Be brave. Challenge your one greatest fear and smash it into a thousand manageable pieces.
Charlie thought she could do this. Even after Neil explained about the blindfold and binding her hands and feet. It had seemed simple enough. Hang on to the hand rail connected to the box that generated the endless stream of water jetting through it. When she did the waves actually lifted her which kept her fear of being submerged and pulled under at bay.
She had this.
Or at least she thought she did. The steady current was like a rushing river without the bubbles or rocks. At first it hadn’t been too hard to hang on. With her wrists tied together, and her hands free to grasp the rail, it was almost easier. But then the continuous push of the water blasting against her began to tire her out. Before she knew it her hands were squeezing the metal bar making her fingers ache under the pressure and the controlled volume of water was suddenly overwhelming.
She slammed her eyes shut behind the cloth covering her them. She couldn’t breathe. Was the water level rising? Was the current pulling her under? She couldn’t hear the water anymore. There were no slaps of waves hitting the sides of the pool. They’d been drowned out by the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. Why had she thought she could do this? She wasn’t Cat. Cat could do this.
Cat had nightmares about it…
Charlie did too. It was her penance for being a petty and vengeful person. For making Travis fall in love with her by being the doormat girlfriend he had always wanted. For months, after she’d spied their betrayal, she’d turned herself into his perfect woman. The closer they became from her pretense, the more upset Cat had turned. Then the night at the beach happened and it changed everything. Travis abandoned her. He swam away and took Cat with him for fear of being caught the same way Charlie was in the tide.
They’d left her. Just the remembrance catapulted her back in time.
She was in darkness and the waves were taking her down. Black water closed in all around her. Cold, so cold, as she’d furiously treaded water to stay afloat. The only light was the glistening runway of a moonbeam that seemed to mock her by lighting a pathway to freedom she couldn’t take. Illuminating an avenue to solid ground that was broken only by the relentless waves that stole the very air she was trying to get into her lungs. The idea that she was on the biggest stage in the world and yet completely and utterly alone, ricocheted through her.
“I’m here, tiger. I’m right here.”
His voice cut through her escalating panic, but it was his gentle touch on her lower back that allowed her to breathe. Acknowledging that he was in the water with her caused air to fill her lungs, and spurred an image of his steely blue eyes challenging her. The sight of which rose up to comfort her. Dare her. Assure her that she hadn’t been abandoned. Not this time. He was right there with her and somehow she knew he wasn’t going to leave her.
“Help me. I’m losing my grip.”
Was that her voice sounding weak and unsure?
“You’re doing fine.”
The slight press of his palm against her back disappeared and she panicked again. “I can’t do it. I’m not going to let go.”
“I think you can. I’m sure you can do it, just as I’m sure it’s time for you to let go.”
Was he talking about the hand bar? About her fear? Or about her anger…at Cat?
Was it time for her to forgive? She thought about the man in the water with her. The Dom who was trying to help, not her, but Cat. Why? Because Cat hated vanilla men according to him and she knew why. Travis had used her sister and Charlie had made sure Cat knew it. She turned Travis into a lovesick fool, forever guaranteeing that he’d never want Cat again. It must have galled Cat to…what? Lose? Is that what the situation with Travis had turned into? A competition between identical twins?
If it had, both she and her sister had lost.
“I don’t want to let go.” Now for a completely different reason. Forced to look at the situation from Cat’s perspective, Charlie began to see the damage she’d done.
“Most times the right thing to do is also the hardest. That’s what we have courage for.”
The rushing water was no longer her biggest threat. Heartache was. Over what she’d had. What she’d lost and what she and her sister may never recover from.
“Easy does it, tiger.”
When that soft command penetrated through her jumbled thoughts, she realized she was shaking. Her hands and arms were so exhausted they were trembling in strain, causing her to jerk and quake in the rushing current.
“You need to let go.”
His whisper spun through her, colliding with all the reasons she didn’t want to, and blanketing them in a calm that was stunning and final. Every negative vibe within her vanished until there was nothing left, but acceptance.
“I’m here for you.”
And with that quiet promise from him, she relaxed every tense muscle in her body and let go. She expected to be plunged under the water, but she wasn’t. He fished her in and what happened next was only a guess, as she couldn’t literally see to confirm it. She knew that he’d turned off the jets as the water around them became still. He worked to undo the blindfold before he took it off of her. She also knew that he untied her hands and feet because he was massaging the flesh and bones to bring blood back into them. What she wasn’t sure about was why it was so quiet. So desperately silent.
Peaceful.
Then his hands were no longer on her and yet? She opened her eyes and blinked. He was standing over her, smiling down at her. A big, proud smile that reached his eyes. That’s when it came to her she was floating on her own without any assistance. For the first time in six years she was on her own in a body of water and there was no panic or fear choking her.
The silence? It was the kind of void she’d missed for so long. The water used to be her friend. She used to enjoy floating and watching the clouds skate by in the sky while she listened to the nothingness of the sea around her. She never thought to enjoy that kind of solitary companionship again and now because of him she realized she could. That was her first thought, her second, when it came to her, was a little deeper than that. Was this what Cat had been talking about when she’d said she
was the one who needed his help?
“I knew you were going to do great.”
The moment he scooped her up, she clung to him and before she could stop the words, they came out. “I thought the waves were going to take me down, but it was you.”
“How so?”
She wrapped her legs around his waist, unmindful of the water sloshing around them and pressed against him. He wasn’t totally naked, but close enough. “I don’t know…you…before all the Scrooge stuff I wanted you. I did. It was a basic attraction based on your looks.” She dragged her nose along his powerful shoulder until she got to his throat, then she headed upward, stopping when she reached his ear. “It’s more than looks now, and there’s nothing basic about it. I’m in lust with how confident you are. How commanding and…I don’t know.” She let a breath out against his skin. “It’s intoxicating. I’m aching. Physically aching for you. I need you to touch me. Master me, like I’ve never needed anyone to do such a thing to me before.”
He cupped her ass in the palms of his hands and hoisted her up higher against him. “I hope you understand that it’s okay to put your trust in someone. Sometimes it’s not only okay, it’s necessary.”
She pulled back and stared right at him. His expression was intense and the flickers of turquoise light that bounced off the water in the pool and ping-ponged all around them made his eyes appear to be deep purple. She was drowning. “I’ll do anything you want. Anything.”
“That’s the endorphins talking. Have you ever noticed,” he turned with her in his arms and lifted her up to sit on the pool edge. After he grabbed one of the white towels from the stack beside her, he continued, “that the nightmares we dream of are far more exciting to us once we wake up than the happy dreams we’ve dreamt are?”
Charlie would agree with that if she was of a mind to have this kind of conversation with him, but she wasn’t. She was too busy—in between being shaken while he dried her hair with the thick terry—devouring the top half of him with her eyes. His broad shoulders were tight with well-defined rope-like muscles, all wrapped in water glistening skin. She wished the pool of liquid would evaporate so she could get a better look at the rolling landscape of abs that disappeared beneath the surface. What was he wearing down below? Boxer briefs?
He stopped drying and curled around to spread the towel out behind her. After he adjusted it, he straightened and she guessed in the broadening silence, he was staring down at her. Then the uneasy quiet was shattered. “Catherine, what are you doing?”
She didn’t look at him because if her eyes weren’t deceiving her about what he was packing in those briefs, the next little while with him was going to be epic. “Call me tiger. I’m trying to see your package.”
“Eyes up here.”
She let him lift her chin and when their eyes met she whispered, “Will you show me?”
One corner of his mouth tipped up and he whispered back, “What? My package?”
She nodded and the action caused him to drop his hand.
“Sure. If you show me your pink petals.”
“Pink what?”
“Precisely why I don’t like euphemisms. I prefer the three ‘C’s.”
“Three?” She scowled. Only two came to her. “Cock, cunt and…?”
“Come.”
Wow. She couldn’t believe she was naked, sitting on the side of a pool with a gorgeous Dom Master debating sex lingo. This had to be a once in a lifetime opportunity so she was going with it. “Perfect. My cunt wants your cock to make it come.”
Neil kept his gaze trained on her, letting the silence that followed her statement grow. He wanted her uncomfortable and a little unsure. To his mind she deserved some latitude after getting through the last trial in the lap pool. He knew only too well how an adrenaline high could cause a person to do and say things they wouldn’t ordinarily say or do. At least he hoped it was the adrenaline. “You are a sassy little thing, aren’t you?”
“I’m a horny little thing, who wants the three ‘C’s to get together right now.”
When she reached forward to grab hold of him, he stopped her. “You know better. No touching unless you’re invited to, or expressly given permission.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot about that stipulation.”
He frowned. “You really do say the oddest things. It’s not a stipulation, it’s a disciplined Master’s golden rule.”
Her expression went all dreamlike and she was back to eating him up with her eyes. What was wrong with the woman? She ran from hot to sizzling one minute to the next. “It gives me chills when you say the word disciplined. Master too. Are you going to be…to be my Master tonight?”
She did the fucking lip bite. That stupid, overrated, and underdeveloped expression of lust to a goddamn tee. He should have spanked her for it. Trying to tempt him with such a cliché and yet, here he was wishing she’d do it again. “Maybe.” He put his hands on her knees and slowly pulled her legs apart, moving in between them. “Are you a good listener?”
Her head fell back and she answered, “Yes.”
“I want to see for myself. Let’s play a game. We’ll play Master says. It’s exactly like Simon, only better. Each time you make a mistake and don’t follow the proper direction, you’ll be faced with consequences, understood?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t just her eyes that reminded him of a tiger, now it was her hair as well. The silky and wild mass was threaded through with different colored stripes that ranged from light copper to deep red. “Every time you mess up you’re going to lose three inches.”
She snapped out of dreamland and her eyes widened so far he thought they were going to pop out of her head. “Of cock?”
“Of closure.” He tried not to grin, but failed. “We’ll start the game with your legs together. When you mess up you have to forfeit the inches and spread them, three inches at a time. I’ll be the judge of the distance.”
“Of course you will.”
He tilted his head and studied her. “I’m getting the impression you’re miffed about me judging because I’m going to hold you to the prescribed inches and not let you go beyond them.”
She flashed him a flirty smile. “Am I that transparent?”
Gorgeous, sassy, and funny. Killer combination. He laughed. “I want you to lie back on the towel, knees up, arms at your sides with your eyes closed.” He stepped back so she could reposition, but when she didn’t make a move, he added, “Now.”
When she still didn’t move, he sighed. “Why aren’t you readjusting?”
“You didn’t say Master says.”
So that’s how it was going to be. “Master says, apologize for being a smartass.”
“Kidding. I was only kidding. What did you want me to do? Lie back?”
He shook his head and then swept forward in the water, taking hold of her arm. She actually thought he was going to let her attempt at humor, that smacked of topping, go. “Catherine.”
“Yeah?” She was so determined to get into position now, he was sure she would have fallen backward if he didn’t have hold of her. The way she ogled the towel it was as if it was her last lifeline.
“Eyes on me.” The moment he caught the words she muttered under her breath he tightened his hold of her, and ordered, “What was that? Or should I say, Master says, speak up.”
“I’m sorry for being a smartass.”
Confronted by her puppy dog eyes when she turned back didn’t sway him. “That’s not what I heard you say.”
He waited and she hedged.
“I was kidding. It was a joke.”
He continued to let his gaze drill into her as he lowered his tone and said, “If you thought it was so funny say it louder so I can appreciate it.”
“I only repeated you didn’t say Master says.”
“Not so funny now, is it?”
They stared at one another until she relented. “No.” He thought she was going to leave it at that. It would have been the smart thing to
do, but she didn’t. “I think I prefer things between us to be serious. You have a dark side to you that makes me…it makes me…”
“Nervous?”
“Hot.”
He let go of her and moved back so quickly the water bashed against the pool walls. “That’s only because you haven’t met that part of me, yet.” It was an empty threat. It was thrown out there to get her to pay attention to the rules of the game, as he had no plans to play with her beyond this evening. That thought irritated him, and he knew why. He liked her. The idea of which made him more resolved to stick to his plan and not fuck her tonight. Didn’t mean he couldn’t play nicely with her, though.
“I can’t wait.”
And that dreamily sighed out statement reminded him about who she was and how she behaved. He’d proposed this arrangement thinking he was going to be helping a tortured sub find some confidence and peace around the things she couldn’t change in her life. He was supposed to be tolerating the bratty behavior her detailed profile sheet pointed to, and her boss more than vouched for, and here he was, lusting after her with a keen sense of raw need. Everything about her called to the domineering Master in him. Had his tastes changed? He thought about that. Catherine shouldn’t appeal to him…but she did.
“I’m going to give you one more chance to play. Do you remember what I said about the lesson?” He wanted to make sure she understood tonight—the next few hours—were all that was left of whatever was going to be between them.
“I’m yours until the lesson is over.”
He nodded. “We’re almost there. We’re at the best part. The part where you get the gold star for doing well in class. Don’t mess it up. I’ll be disappointed if I have to send you home without your reward.”
“Home? I don’t want to go home.”
She looked so worried he had to tamp down the urge to assure her. If he’d learned one thing about her tonight, she was a woman who liked the edge, not the safety net. She needed a firm hand, and by her own admission, she couldn’t wait to meet his darker side. So why not let her even if it was just a little introduction?