I wondered what she had in mind, thinking that maybe my following Zach around wasn’t too far off the scale of acceptable behavior, but there was no time to ask her what she meant because the bell rang and we had to hurry to class.
As people were shuffling around, switching seats and getting situated in Homeroom, I slowly walked in—expecting everyone to look at me—and I wasn't disappointed. One of the Beautiful People looked up from writing the name Tiffany on her pink folder just in time to glare at me. I looked toward the back of the room and heaved an enormous sigh of relief when I saw Cricket had saved a seat for me and also noticed that Zach had not arrived yet. But before I got to my seat, the lights went out for about three seconds and then came back on.
My first thought was a storm, of course, but there wasn’t a cloud in sight. That got me thinking about the scanner on orientation day. Somehow things got all wacky when I was around. But why? Maybe I had some sort of residual lightning charge in my body or something. That would just make my whole year, I thought. Nominate me for Most Likely to Spontaneously Combust. Thank God no one else seemed to suspect I had anything to do with it.. They just started mumbling and talking amongst themselves above the sound of computers rebooting.
“What the heck?” Cricket was tapping on her computer screen. “I don’t even have a login.”
“Maybe there’s a virus,” I offered.
Cricket shrugged. “Oh well. Maybe we won’t have to do any work.”
“Yeah, really,” someone added. “Maybe they’ll have to send us home since the whole school is like running on a computer.”
“Cool!” Someone else said.
Mrs. Hayes got up and started wandering around the classroom, inspecting computer screens, looking genuinely puzzled. “Raise your hand if you don’t have a login.”
No one raised a hand. I stared at my blank—utterly blank—screen. Turns out, I was the only one who didn’t have one, but I wasn't about to raise my hand. Weird was becoming too normal for me, and it was scary that I was starting to get used to it. To make matters worse, Mr. Hayes came up behind me and said, too loudly, “Oh, you don’t have a login.”
Just when I was ready for the ground to open and swallow me up, Zach Webb walked in, talked to the teacher for a few minutes, and sat down right next to me, smiling. He handed me a note when Cricket wasn’t looking. I glanced over at Tiffany, who glared at me.
The note said, Enjoy your movie? and had a smiley face at the bottom. I looked up, smiled and nodded before Cricket noticed, then folded it up and stuffed it in my purse. The rest of the hour, the teacher droned on about the computer system and the homework program, so we didn’t really get a chance to talk. Every few minutes, one of us would glance over at the other. I was starting to get nervous that Cricket would notice, but she was busy getting frustrated over how to navigate the computer.
“I hate these things,” she said.
I guess she expected me to answer her, but I was too busy watching Zach, who’d gotten up to throw something away. And apparently, Cricket had noticed. She gave me a quizzical look, as if she wondered—the same way I was wondering—what it was about Zach that was so intriguing. In a more direct, determined gaze, she seemed to say, “We are going to find out.” Which was good for me. Cricket, on the other hand, was about as skeptical as she could be.
Operation Mystery Man
By the time school ended that day, Cricket had organized a covert operation to find out more about Zach Webb and the old building. She was waiting for me in our customary spot on the front steps of school, her jaws chomping on an extra large piece of gum as she texted someone.
“Ok, I have a plan,” she said, putting her phone in her backpack. “Operation Mystery Man starts now.”
“What are you talking about?” I knew, of course, but I was hoping I was wrong.
“You know—Zach Webb. The old abandoned building?”
“What are you up to?”
Just then, Alex walked up. “Hey guys.”
I expected Cricket to change the subject, but when she didn’t, I realized she had pulled Alex into her crazy operation. “What’s going on here?” I asked.
Alex told me, “Cricket and I have been talking and we’re worried about you.”
“Well don’t, ok?” I was getting mad and could feel my cheeks start to tingle. “I’m fine.” It really burned me up that they’d gone behind my back to discuss my business. Then to pull me in on some stupid scheme to spy on Zach? It was just too much. I walked away. “Call me when you’re done trying to run my life.”
“Tess, wait!” Alex came after me, grabbing my arm. “We just—it’s just we’re your friends—”
I glared at him. “Yeah, well friends don’t talk about each other behind each others' backs.”
“We weren’t—Tess, I’m sorry. We just thought you might need our—”
“Help?” I asked, glancing at Cricket. “That’s the last thing I need.” I really was getting pretty defensive over Zach, and I hardly knew him. Why was I so upset that they wanted to know more about him or that they wanted to help? I wanted to know more about him, too. I just wanted to find out for myself, not by spying on him with Alex and Cricket. Still, I had to admit they were right. Zach was a little strange. “Ok,” I admitted. “Maybe you can help.”
Cricket bounded over. “Ok, here’s what we’re going to do.”
We sat in Alex’s car in the parking lot adjacent to the old building, just staring at it. The lot was virtually empty and no one had come or gone in the last fifteen minutes. “Ok, so now what?” I asked.
Cricket bit the inside of her jaw and squinted, obviously enjoying her devious jaunt. “We go in.”
Alex nodded. “You think it’s safe?”
“Look around. The place is dead.”
I got goose bumps thinking about a building being so deserted as to be dead. It just seemed wrong. “There’s no way we’re getting in there,” I said.
Cricket shot me a look. “Why not?”
“It’s locked—” I hesitated, not wanting to let on that I had followed Zach there and had watched him put the key away. “I mean, it must be.”
“So there’s probably a key somewhere,” Cricket observed.
“Yeah, probably in Zach’s pocket, I muttered half under my breath”
“Well, I guess there could be an extra. Maybe.”
“You want to go look?” Alex asked.
Nobody said anything and it was clear we were all too scared to venture out of that car. Almost on cue, the three of us looked up past the building to the sky. It was getting dark, and it looked stormy. The wind whipped an old piece of banner on a fire escape. I shivered.
I don’t know who said something or moved first, but within minutes, the three of us were standing at the door to the building. It was a rusty metal door, dented in three spots, a trace of blue paint here and there. The doorknob was dull silver metal and there was the faint suggestion of letters on the door that said, “Exit Only.” Cricket rattled the doorknob, and it was locked, as expected.
I was getting so nervous I had to pee. “Guys, what if Zach comes up here and finds us? Isn't this trespassing or something? Let’s get the heck out of here.”
“No, not until we get a look inside,” Cricket insisted. “Alex, look around for a key.”
Alex ran his fingers around on the bricks, into all the cracks. “Nothing.”
“Ok, let’s just go, please!” I pleaded. Any moment, I just knew Zach was going to drive up. Then how would I explain why the three of us were there? How would I explain any of it?
“Wait,” Alex said. “Look.” He walked over to a window that was painted from the inside. On the lower left corner was a hole in the glass, about the size of a tennis ball. He leaned over and peered in. “Hmmm,” he said.
“What?” Cri
cket breathed. “Do you see anything? What is it?”
Alex turned around. “Not much. Just a bunch of old junk.”
Cricket edged her way in, pushing Alex aside. “Here, let me look.”
All this time, I was bouncing from one foot to the other, trying to stay calm. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was coming. Curiosity finally got the best of me, so I tugged on Cricket’s jacket. “Let me see.”
It was pretty dark, but you could tell there was another window, somewhere, letting light in enough that we could see cubicles and some desks with huge computer monitors on them. The desks were bare except for what looked like a stack of plain white paper and a plastic Solo cup with some pencils in it.
“See,” Alex said. “Just a bunch of junk. That stuff is ancient. Probably doesn’t even work. Some old office space, probably hasn’t been used in years.”
“Let’s go,” I insisted. “Before someone comes.”
They agreed, and we headed back to the car, but not before I peered in one last time. In the dusty light, there on the other side of the desks, I could have sworn I saw him. Zach Webb, standing there looking at me, except he looked older somehow, and he looked sad. Like he’d just been betrayed by his best friend. My heart jumped. He was just as gorgeous as ever, and seeing him that way made me feel sorry for him. It made me want to get closer to him even more. Then there was a really bright light from somewhere inside, like a flash from an enormous camera. Startled, I ran, as fast as my legs would go back to the car.
We didn’t say much as Alex drove to drop off Cricket first and then me. It was like we were all disappointed in a way that we didn’t discover some big glaring secret in the old building, some terrible thing that would confirm everyone’s suspicions about Zach. I decided not to tell them about what I saw before we left. Anyway, it was probably just my mind playing tricks on me. It was getting really good at doing that.
Before I got out of Alex’s car at home, he put his hand on my leg to stop me. “Be careful, ok?”
“Ok … ” I said, not sure how to respond.
He squeezed my leg. “No, I mean really. You’re important to me.”
Now I officially didn’t know what to say. All I wanted was to get out of that car. The way Alex was looking at me, I thought he might actually lean over and kiss me. And I’d never thought about him that way. What would I do if he tried? I didn’t want to find out, so I opened the door. “Thanks Alex. I’ll be fine,” I said, getting out. On second thought, I leaned back in and said, “I promise,” flashing a smile.
First Date
Zach e-mailed me that night. At first, his message made me so nervous, I could barely breathe. Turns out he was there in the building the whole time we were spying on him. He’d seen everything:
Tess,
I saw you looking at me. In a way, it makes me feel good to know you are interested enough in who I am to come looking for answers. I have nothing to hide. I am pretty simple, really. I just want the chance to prove to you that I’m not the strange freak you think I might be. Can I see you Saturday? I promise not to disappoint you.
Zach
Boy did I feel stupid. I was so embarrassed by what we’d done that I wanted to move far, far away where I’d never have to face him again. How could we have been so dumb and immature, peeking in someone’s windows? In our defense, the whole situation was pretty weird, but still, we had no right. Add to the scenario the fact that I had more than a slight crush on Zach and it was simply too much for my brain to handle.
I read his message again, taking note that he’d used words like simple, prove to you, promise… he certainly seemed sincere. To ignore his message or otherwise dismiss it would only make things worse, especially if he truly was the nice person he seemed to be in his message. I decided the best plan was to acknowledge it and politely decline, making up some lame excuse. I cringed as my fingers typed a reply:
Zach,
I’m really sorry about today. We had no reason to be there and it was a really stupid thing to do. Thanks for the invite, but I have to study for a test.
Tess
P.S. I don’t think you’re a freak.
I tapped my fingers on the desk, reading it over again. Then, without thinking much about it, I deleted it and wrote another one:
Zach,
Sure—sounds like fun. What time?
Tess
My heart literally went turbo, beating out of control when I hit “send.” Well, it’s done, I thought. The worst was over. Wait, scratch that. Things could definitely get worse. But on the other hand, they could get really, really good, too.
Three days later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Zach’s car on our way to Deer Creek Canyon State Park. After spending the morning just driving around town, Zach pointing out all the landmarks, the best places to eat, the places to avoid, he asked if I’d like to see some of the scenery. I hadn't been to the mountains since I was a little kid, so I was excited to go, especially with Zach. In just the little bit of time we’d spent together that morning, my interest in him had about tripled. But I tried my best to stay cautious.
“I’m taking you to the highest point in the county,” he said. “Might as well start with the best and work our way down.”
“Can’t be disappointed that way,” I replied.
He glanced over briefly, smiled. “I like the way you think.”
Zach was quiet for a long time, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other resting on the door. I examined his tan, muscular forearm, imagined my hand sweeping across it, feeling each hair with the tips of my fingers. I felt the blood creeping to the surface of my cheeks and quickly looked out the window. With the windows down, I could see half of my face in the side mirror without leaning out. I could see half of me, smiling as if the world had opened up, swinging its doors wide open to let me in, a gangly girl who was just a little bit off.
“So what do you think of it so far?” He asked.
I stared at his profile, the defined curve of his jaw. He had shaved recently, probably that morning. I noticed a tiny speck of blood just to the right of his ear where he’d nicked the skin, and my crush slammed me in the stomach like a sucker punch. “I love it,” I said. “It’s beautiful.” I felt a little guilty for not telling him I’ve lived here my entire life. I decided, when the time was right, I would.
“I thought the same thing,” he replied. “When I moved back here, it was love at first sight.” He glanced over at me and then quickly shifted his eyes back to the road. Just like I fell in love… with you.
“What did you say?” I blurted out. My ears started buzzing slightly, and then stopped.
“I said it was love at first sight. The park.”
I can’t explain it, but I wanted to tell Zach about the things that had been happening to me. Sitting there close to him in the car, I had an overwhelming feeling of warmth, as if I’d literally known him my entire life. Suddenly, he reached out with his right hand and placed it over mine, smiling, as if he’d read my mind. Knowing he couldn’t possibly do so, but embarrassed anyway, I looked out the window again, hoping he wouldn’t notice the flush on my cheeks. I didn’t move my hand an inch.
“Are you ok?” He asked.
“I’m fine, why?”
“Just want to make sure you’re not getting car sick.”
That’s the least of my problems, I thought. “My head hurts a little, but otherwise, I’m ok.”
He looked concerned. “I hope it’s nothing serious. Do you need anything?”
I was a little confused by his attention to me. No one, except my parents, had ever been so concerned. “No really, I’m fine. I just get headaches sometimes. No big deal.”
“Me, too,” he said. “I think it’s the high altitude. At least, that’s what they tell me.”
“I never tho
ught about that.” Maybe that was the source of a lot of my symptoms.
“How long have you been getting headaches?” He asked.
“A few weeks.”
“Oh,” he said with concern. “Maybe you should see a doctor.”
“Believe me, I’ve had enough of doctors.”
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged. I didn’t really want to unload on Zach. I’d just met him and all and I might blow everything. “Oh nothing,” I mumbled.
When we arrived at the hiking spot, it was midday. Zach parked in the shade, got out, and brought out a small cooler and a blanket. “Lunch?” he asked.
I hadn’t even thought about packing a lunch. Zach was well prepared. “Yes, thanks,” I replied.
“Well I’m starving,” Zach said, heading for an open clearing.
From where we were, we could see the entire valley and the enormous mountainous bluffs far in the distance. “Oh my goodness!” I exclaimed. “This is awesome!”
“This is it. The highest point. Are you disappointed?”
I was almost speechless, gazing at the vast beauty before us. “No way,” I said.
Usually eating around guys I liked made me nervous, but for some reason with Zach I felt completely relaxed. We talked non-stop all through lunch, laughing and joking as he filled me in on the social scene at Jefferson High. I wanted to mention the day at the mall, but didn’t want him to know I’d remembered it. The last thing I wanted was to give him the impression that I, too, was admiring him from afar.
As if on cue he said, “I think I saw you one day at the mall.”
“Really?”
“It was about a month ago. You were sitting at the food court.”
“Oh, yeah. I was there with my mom—well, I was waiting for her. I hate to shop.”
“I was there to get some shoes. Anyway, that’s not important,” he said, putting his hand over mine for the second time that day. The sun gleamed across the natural highlights in his hair, the wind tousling it gently. “I’m glad I met you.” Rubbing his thumb lightly on my hand, he said, “It’s about time,” as if meeting me was the most important thing that had happened to him in a long time, maybe forever.
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