Turning to Saul, I murmur, “What do you think he meant?”
Saul smiles. “When you love someone, they mean a lot. When your existence depends on that person…well, you’d walk through hell to bring them back if you had to. I think my big brother just threw down. Now, he just needs to do that with her. Come on, let’s get you home, I want to lose myself in you for a few hours.”
I smile at my future husband and feel very lucky to already have my person.
As I lay in bed, I think about so much that I struggle to sleep.
I’m glad I spoke to Saul and Soph yesterday and visited with all my family today. They know I’m going out to New York. They know I’m going after Nova.
My Nova. If she still exists.
Either way, I’ve decided and I’m going. If I can’t find her, then I’ll have to get to know Libby instead. I can’t be hollow anymore. Fucking these faceless women over the years has been fun, but unfulfilling. Now I want more. Whatever more I can get.
It’s good that I’m able to look into this missing disk situation too. If I get somewhere with Nova then this life, it will have to end. I can’t continue to do this. I couldn’t put her in danger. But I’ll have to make sure everyone knows that when I get out, I’m out. That’s it. If they ever try to come for Nova, I’ll kill them. There’s no question. And I’ll make it as painful as possible. Not too much pain that they will pass out, but enough to make them cry and piss themselves while they slip away.
Closing my eyes and laying my head back on the pillow, I feel anger throbbing through my body and nobody has even threatened Nova. They’d be stupid to. But the truth is, right now I’m in the game so everyone is as safe as can be. It’s when I get out that I’ll have to be cautious. That’s when people will think I’ve gone soft, and let my defences down. That’s when they might come. I have to stop that before it happens. But first I have to actually get Nova back. Then I’ll fuck her for a straight twenty-four hours. Only then will I deal with the rest.
I watch as Mel is late for work, yet again.
“What?” she says as I roll my eyes at her tardiness.
“Nothing, it would be nice not to have to worry about covering for you every morning though,” I answer, annoyed that she’s up to thirty minutes late every day and I’ve had to cover on more than one occasion.
“Are you just pissed that Davy dumped you?” she asks applying her lipstick in the reflection of the computer screen that she still hasn’t turned on.
“What? How do you know that?” I ask watching her hand freeze momentarily before continuing on its path, filling in her now red lips.
“Just a guess,” she tells me with absolutely no conviction.
“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” I spit out. The anger I feel toward her has been building up for a while. Even before I went to England. She has been pissy with me since I told her about Con and refused to introduce her.
Con was a neighbour in my building. I met him one day while I was waiting for the elevator. It was before Davy. I had just split up with another loser, bad boy wannabe. Con was gorgeous. More than that, at first sight, he looked like a good guy—which he is—and that was what I needed at that point. When he spoke, my heart picked up speed. His English accent. Ugh. That accent is one of my weak points when it comes to men.
I think it’s because I’m from England, but I don’t remember much from back then. I moved to the US shortly after I lost my memory. Having lived here for so many years, my voice has become a strange mix between the two places, some words I say with an American accent and some with an English one. But I still feel something when I listen to the male English accent, it’s like a force that pulls in the recesses of my brain.
I spent some time with Con, I liked him, but I tried to make something work that just wasn’t there. I kissed him one night, but it felt like I was kissing a brother. I’ve never told him that, men and their egos. But there was no spark. I soon found out that he was in love with his childhood sweetheart, Pea, and I couldn’t dream of a better match for him. Still, our friendship developed and along with him I met Sam, Tyler and Lewis. Three guys he worked with. I haven’t spoken to Sam for ages. He got back together with an old girlfriend and moved to Colorado, so it’s been a while since we’ve caught up. Tyler is away for six months on some overseas assignment so it’s just Lewis, but I haven’t touched base with him for a few weeks.
I must text him and meet up.
When I became friends with Con and the guys, I told Mel. She didn’t really care at first, but then one Sunday she called me saying she’d seen me leaving a bar the night before with some hot guys. Apparently I’d left before she’d managed to get my attention. Of course, then she wanted to know who they were. When I told her who Con was, she was desperate for me to introduce her to him. I refused. That did not go down well. Apart from Mel always expecting to get her own way, she knew she was missing out on all that was Con. But by then I was his friend, I knew what he felt for Pea and I didn’t want anyone impacting on that. Mel stopped talking to me for two weeks. It’s funny when I look back I realise how chilled I felt for those weeks. And now she’s doing the same as usual, not actually giving a shit about anyone but herself.
“I don’t know Libby, are you an idiot? You tell me,” Mel replies with a nasty grin on her face.
“What the fuck is your problem?” I hiss, not wanting to alert anyone to our argument, but I’m getting angrier with her as the seconds pass.
“You!” she shouts and I stare at her face, equally amazed and pissed.
“Me?” I ask, watching as her eyes narrow and her smirk replaces the grin.
“Yes, you, with your little miss fucking perfect routine. The one that everyone falls for. The guys, the clients, even the fat cat bosses love you. Miss fucking-perfect-Libby,” she spits and I just stare at this person. Someone who has been my friend for nearly three years, and yet I now realise I’ve never really peeled back the layers before. If I had done, I would’ve noticed how ugly her heart is.
“Shit, I never saw before.” I let out a hollow laugh.
“Saw what?” she asks, her forehead creasing with confusion.
“What a class A bitch you really are. Why is that? Because I wouldn’t introduce you to Con?”
She splutters with laughter. “That sad sack, I don’t think so.”
“He’s not a fucking sad sack, you stupid bitch. And if it’s not him, then what? Is it because I was dating Davy? He pursued me!” I tell her putting my stuff back in my bag. An argument is one thing, falling out with her is another, but whatever happens I’m not willing to lose my job because that would be something else. So I decide the best thing to do is to go home and calm down before I hit her like she’s my damn punching bag.
“Davy? So you are a fucking idiot. Haven’t you worked out yet that he’s been fucking me for the last four months,” she shouts.
Luckily nobody is in reception to hear the show we’re putting on.
Freezing at her words. I take a breath, close my eyes and compose myself.
“Yeah, that’s right, that’s why he didn’t want to have sex with you last night because I had already satisfied him.” Laughing at me, it’s clear that she's pleased with herself. Like she’s won a game, a game that I wasn’t actually playing.
Opening my eyes and putting the last thing into my bag, slowly I raise my head and look at her. “You’re welcome to him.” I watch her face drop. “Maybe the reason he hasn’t been able to satisfy me lately is because you’ve been giving him tips on how to have sex? If that’s true, then I pity your sex life. You can have him, free and clear, without the excitement I have no doubt you felt at the secretiveness of it all. I wonder if it will be as much fun now? I’ll wait and see.” Her eyebrows rise. “Oh, you thought I would be upset? That maybe I would run away from my job, go into hiding?” I laugh at her. “No sweetheart. Not this woman. You see I’ve been second guessing my relationship with Davy for a while, so you’re welcome to him. I
’ve also been second guessing my relationship with you.” I watch her for a beat as her mouth drops open, but she says nothing. “That surprises you does it? Since I’ve been getting to know Pearson and Sophie, I’ve realised what real friendship from women should be like. Support, love, compassion. Not competition, deceitfulness and disloyalty. I don’t need the shit you’re sharing, go blow it out your ass at Davy. I’m taking a personal day, I’ll be emailing Mr. Sully. But Mel, I’ll be back again tomorrow.” I wink at her and curl my lips into an insincere smile, then twist around and walk away. I feel my heart pumping with adrenaline. I need to Skype the girls, I need to talk to someone.
“So Mr. Zellop, are we very clear?” I ask the rotund, sweaty man that I currently have pinned against the wall by his throat. The noise he makes in response is not clear enough for me, so I loosen my grip slightly and watch as he gulps air. The blue that was starting to tinge his skin recedes as the pink starts returning. “You were saying?” I smile.
“Yes, yes, Mr. Dane, I will tell you everything, anything, I swear.” I can see the whites of his eyes and I measure his response. Happy that he isn’t lying, I let him go and walk back to the chair I was sitting in only moments before.
“The shipment was supposed to arrive with four disks, but only three arrived. I want to know what was on the fourth disk? The missing one,” I relay my question for a second time to the weasely man in front of me. This time, he has no hesitation in answering.
“I don’t know what was on all the disks,” his voice shakes and I raise my eyebrow at his response. “But, I do know that only one of the disks had anything of importance. That disk has access codes to all the military and private establishments that houses and manufactures weapons, including all the latest test weapons. The information was obtained by two highly skilled hackers, and it comes from more than one security source. I’m sure if one was missing then it’s that one, but it means someone knew which disk to take.” He pants as he finishes telling me, his eyes plead, hoping that I believe him and will let him go.
I realise the hack was clever. This was, of course, all done with purpose. The idea being, while the focus is on the security breach they’re aware of, the team could have their attention on the other sites, the ones they haven’t figured out have been breached yet. It’s not infallible, but still, at least worth a shot for the right money.
“Thank you Mr. Zellop, that will be all for now. Remember, though, if you’re lying, or worse withholding information, I will come back. And make no mistake, there’s nowhere that you can hide from me,” I tell him calmly.
He nods. “That’s everything I know, I swear.” His reply is genuine, after years of dealing with scum I can work out when they’re lying.
As I walk away from the small office, I pull my phone from my pocket and dial.
“Dex,” I say when he answers the phone. “The information on the missing disk gives access to weaponry both on the market and in testing. Tell Archer that he’ll need to get Will and Lok on this case. I need to attend this wedding, and as I can’t focus entirely on this situation, I may miss something vital. This requires sensitive handling and time is already ticking. Archer knows I’m looking at getting out. I’ve asked him not to give me significant cases anymore. The days have gone where I can focus all my attention on this game we play. Small time issues that’s all I want now,” I tell Dex sharply, annoyed that I’m once again repeating what I have told him and Archer before.
“I will relay the message D,” he answers.
“You do that. And Dex, this time make sure the fucking message is heard.”
I click the phone off and get into the waiting car.
“Mr. Matthews, where would you like to go?” Ted the driver asks.
“To my apartment, please Ted.”
“Sir,” he answers and we pull away.
Hearing the distant noise of my phone, I realise I must have fallen asleep. That’s unlike me, even with jetlag. Everything is usually planned and I cover all my bases, falling to sleep unintentionally is sloppy and I curse at my recklessness.
Getting up from the sofa and walking over to the breakfast bar I grab my phone and see it’s Soph.
“Are you okay?” I answer worry curling in my stomach.
She laughs then responds, “Dane, seriously. You need to stop panicking about us all!”
“Not gonna happen, Tink. So this was a social call?”
“Not exactly.” I hear the apprehension in her voice and the worry is back.
“What?” I snap out, more forcefully than I meant to.
My snappiness doesn’t phase Soph though, she just snorts at me down the line. “So Pea and I just had a Skype call with Libby.”
I say nothing, just waiting for her to spit it out.
“It seems she’s split up with her boyfriend.” At her words, I rock back on my heels.
“Why?”
“Well, I don’t think she’s been feeling their relationship for a while. But then she found out today that her so called best friend Mel, you know the woman she works with on the reception of that accounts firm…well, she’s been shagging him for four months. So it’s a double hit.”
“Fuck, what a dick. Still I can’t lie and say I’m upset about her and that prick ending,” I reply, then add, “Thanks for letting me know, I’m going to see her tomorrow.”
“You’re not going to call first?” she questions.
“No, this needs a personal touch, Tink. I need to look into her eyes.”
“Love you, Dane,” she whispers.
“Same. Go look after my arse of a brother,” I tell her and she laughs hanging up.
So, Nova is single again.
She may need time and I’ll be there every step to help her, in whatever way she needs.
The next morning at nine I make my way into Douglas, Kirk and Sully. As I approach Nova, I feel the animosity rolling off the reception desk in waves. Nova has her head down and is concentrating on something, but her friend—or ex-friend Mel—is staring at me, her mouth open like she’s never seen a man before. I take her in as I approach, blonde hair, blue eyes, she has the whole cheerleader thing going on. Her lips are bright red and I can see her fake tits from here. She’s sizing me up like she wants to eat me and I want to laugh at her, but I refrain.
As I take the last step to meet the desk, Nova looks up. The second she does recognition and hunger pass through her eyes. It’s a sight to behold, I didn’t know if I’d ever see hunger from her. At least she still likes what she sees. Her eyes are dazzling. Bright blue and they glitter. I know there’s another side to her. I can see beneath the good girl surface.
“Nova,” I murmur. I wait for her to correct me, but she doesn’t.
“Dane, what…what are you doing here?” she replies in a hushed tone.
“I thought we could travel to the wedding together tomorrow,” I explain.
She says nothing and I glance at her ex-friend who still has her mouth hanging open.
“Listen, I’ll pick you up from work tonight. What time do you finish?” I ask.
“Five.” She blinks a few times like she’s trying to see if I’ll disappear and it makes hope start burning in my chest again.
“Five it is.” I walk away then stop. Turning around I walk back to her.
“Just to say, Nova, you and her,” I point at the other woman, “there’s no comparison. Not even close. He’s a dick. Still, his loss is my gain.” I wink and walk away.
Game on Nova. Game fucking on.
“Hi,” Nova breathes as she stops in front of me.
“Nova,” I say in answer and run the back of my fingers down her cheek. Her breath hitches and my chest burns. “Let’s get in the car, I’ll take you for some food.” She nods but says nothing, instead showing her agreement by slipping into the car. “Can you take us to Per Se please Ted, we have reservations.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Dane, I haven’t had a chance to change out of my work clothes,
” Nova complains.
I look her over. Slowly perusing from her toes, which are encased in a pair of black patent heels, up her sheer stockings—I know they’re stockings, I’ve had experience with them on many occasions—to her knee length black skirt that hugs every inch of her thighs and it continues right up to her waist. There I find a white satin blouse, loose and feminine. It’s sleeveless showing off her beautiful blemish free shoulders. My eyes take their final journey, along the curve of her throat, ending on her face. She looks the same as she always did, it’s like time has stood still for her. The only thing I see is age in her eyes. They are wiser, worldly, and not as innocent as they once were. But they’re still brilliantly blue. Her mouth is as enticing as it once was, making me want to kiss the shit out of it. The smooth skin with the pink tinge on her cheeks is porcelain and flawless. All this beauty is surrounded by long wavy chestnut hair, sleek, thick and vibrant.
“You’ll do,” I tell her with a smirk. Her lips twitch, but she says nothing. I turn back in the seat and look forward watching where we’re going. After a few moments of silence, she suddenly starts fidgeting. “What are you doing?” I ask, turning back to face her. I don’t need to ask, though because as soon as I look at her it all becomes clear. She’s undoing her blouse and is on the last button. I’d like to say she’s going to continue until I have her naked in my lap, but I see the effort is all to take her top layer off, revealing the tight white tank which, much like the skirt, clings to her showcasing her perfect full round breasts.
Fuck, it’s been years since I’ve wanted a woman so badly that I’m hard just looking at her. The last time…the last time was Nova.
I look back at her face and she smirks, she’s well aware of the effect she has on me.
When we arrive at the restaurant, I open the door and take her jacket. I want her to be comfortable with me, to get to know me, to experience me. I need to make her see that I'm already hers…if she wants me.
Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) Page 5