by Nicki Elson
He understood and instantly stopped his motion. The only sound in the small dorm room was their rapid, heavy panting and a low crooning in the background. Jen slowly felt some semblance of control seep back into her body. When she was able to speak again, she gasped, “I’m…sorry.”
“It’s… fine,” David panted back. “Didn’t know…I’d…be so…good.”
With all the strength she could muster, Jen gasped, “Shut…up.”
When they’d regained their breath, David spun Jen around and lifted her to sit on the desk, facing him. He slipped back inside her, rocking his hips slowly back and forth. “Is this okay?”
Jen nodded and gripped him around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. David’s rocking increased in speed and strength, and Jen moved with him, using her legs around his waist as leverage. David still sent pleasant sensations through her, but she was no longer in danger of an orgasm. She closed her eyes and pictured a sphere as David moved inside of her. A perfectly round sphere. But she and David weren’t in the sphere; they were the sphere. And they had no divots or gaps; they were smooth, round, and perfect.
David finished, and they clung to each other’s sweaty bodies for several long moments.
With her head still resting on David’s shoulder, Jen whispered, “Thank you. Thank you for doing this, for being so patient and not making me feel stupid.”
David didn’t say anything.
“And my future husband thanks you…whoever he is,” Jen added, lifting her head to look at him. She was surprised to see David’s brow furrowed into a mild scowl.
“That’s what you’re going to do now—look for a husband?”
“No, not right now. I just meant that I’m not going to be having sex again until I’m in a serious relationship with a guy I think might be the one.”
“The one.” David sniffed. When Jen narrowed her eyes at him, he asked, “How are you going to know who’s the one?”
Jen shrugged. She couldn’t explain it. Like Maria had said, she’d just know.
“Maybe I’m the one.” David’s tone had been teasing, but he watched her steadily, almost cautiously.
A sudden anger flashed in Jen. She pushed him away so she could scoot off the desk. “We’ve already been down that road and it didn’t turn out so well.”
David grabbed her hand. “I thought I’d been forgiven. Wasn’t that the deal?”
Jen turned and looked at him. “I do forgive you, David. I guess forgetting is going to take longer.”
She turned away from the injured gleam that entered his brown eyes and stared at her pile of clothes. “Ugh, it’s so gross getting dressed when I’m all sweaty.”
“Hold up.” David wrapped a towel around his waist and ducked out of the room into the hallway. In few moments, he came back and wrapped another towel around Jen. He grabbed a bucket of toiletries and took her hand. “The shower room’s just a little way down the hall. It’s totally empty. I’ll get you in there without anyone seeing.”
He led Jen a short way down the hall to a room with a row of showers. He reached in and started the water in one of the stalls. Jen dropped her towel and stepped in while David remained standing outside the curtain, keeping guard. Just as Jen started to relax under the warm stream of water, someone else walked in.
“What’s up, David?” the new voice said.
“Not much. You?” David asked.
“Eh, nuthin’,” the guy said.
David stuck a hand into the shower. “Well, guess it’s warm enough now.” He stepped in next to Jen, sans towel.
Jen’s head snapped toward him, and David mouthed, “I had no choice.” He let Jen stay in the warm half, under the nozzle, so she went ahead and drenched her hair.
“Did ya hear who CIU just recruited?” the guy asked over the torrent of shower spray.
“Who?” David asked, pouring shampoo into his palm. He surprised Jen by reaching his hands into her hair and lathering.
“The Raymond kid—the seven footer from Kingston Prep.”
“No way,” David said in mock awe as he massaged the shampoo into Jen’s hair and shrugged, indicating that he had no idea who this Raymond kid was. “CIU Cougars are going to totally rule next year.” He winked at Jen.
“Yeah!” the other guy grunted.
Jen stifled a laugh as she tilted her head back. David guided the water along her scalp, rinsing her hair. Before long, the other guy finished his shower and left. David turned off the water and reached beyond their curtain to pull in a towel. He dried Jen, and she let him, finding his attentiveness funny and sweet. He squeezed the towel over her hair, and then fastened it around her.
“There, now I’ve cleansed you of David, and you’re fresh and clean and ready for the one.”
He dried himself and stuck his head into the hall. He gave Jen the all-clear signal and they dashed back into his room. As they pulled on their clothes, her melancholy set in. Not only were the lessons over, she wouldn’t see David at all for three months. The next week was finals and then home for the summer. Yet she knew the timing was perfect. Summer would provide a clean break after their lessons, discouraging any confusion about their relationship. Jen and David would come back to campus next school year strictly as friends.
It was dark by the time they finished dressing. “I’ll walk you home,” David said.
“No. That’s stupid. You don’t have to. I live so close.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to. You see the news; bad stuff happens.”
“Fine.”
Jen and David were quiet while they walked the short distance between their dorms. As they approached the entrance to Longbourn, David stopped. “Just a word of caution. I wouldn’t go looking for the one at CIU. I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.”
“Oh, really?” Jen laughed.
“Yep.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to travel up the road to U of I.”
“Nope. All jerks there, too.”
Jen pressed her lips together in a small smile and cocked an eyebrow.
David took her face in both of his hands and held it to keep her looking at him. “At least promise me you won’t ever go out with anyone who won’t walk you home after dark.”
“Sure, Dad. I promise.”
“I’m really sorry about letting you walk all the way home from the party that night. Don’t ever let anyone else be a jerk like that to you again.” He stroked a corner of her mouth with his thumb.
Jen stared into the deep brown of his irises and read his genuine remorse. If she hadn’t fully forgiven him before, she did now. Before she could respond, David pulled her face close and pressed his soft lips against hers in a long, tender kiss.
Funny how that particular kiss shook Jen more than anything else David had done to her during the past few weeks. She resisted the urge to lean in and wrap herself around him. Instead, she stood with her arms hanging at her sides, her fists clenched as she mentally repeated over and over again, Clean break, clean break, clean break…
A Peek inside David’s Head
During Chapter 1 of Dave: Junior Year
(Three Daves, Part 2)
She won’t look at me. Chris is giving me updates on every kid we ever went to high school, grade school, pre-school with, but Jen’s at the other end of the bar, talking to Kate and not even glancing toward me. I tune into Chris’ prattling. She’s a funny girl with loads of energy. Hasn’t changed a bit. It’s strange that I can feel like a completely different person from who I was in high school, and yet so many of the other people I know are still up to the same old bullshit.
Jen laughs at something Kate said. Kate never struck me as all that humorous. I wonder if Jen’s purposely avoiding looking at me. Playing hard to get—or intentionally keeping her distance? I hope she’s not still holding a grudge for what I did to her last year.
I really have to pee, so I excuse myself when Chris pauses for air. The second I hop off the bar
stool and head for the bathroom, Jen takes a step toward me.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
I smile inside. She’s not grudging. She’s trying to play hard to get, and she’s really, really bad at it. “Bathroom—if that’s okay with you,” I answer.
I go straight to Jen after I come out of the bathroom. I love talking to her. We talk about anything. Everything. Nothing. It doesn’t matter. We just like to talk to each other. Her friends leave to go to that cheesy Quarters bar, but Jen stays with me. I’m glad. The guys show up, and we head down into the basement to check out the open mic night. It’s a flakey thing to do, but it’s something different, better than hanging out with Greeks at Quarters or a bunch of drunken underclassmen at a party.
The usual crowd is here. That Ellie girl gets up to sing a song. She’s gorgeous without even trying, and she has this tough-as-nails attitude that’s very appealing. She’s the kind of girl you don’t have to worry about hurting. She has a good, strong voice. When she finishes singing, her eyes turn purposefully toward me, and she holds my gaze. It’s only for a couple of seconds, but it’s a powerful two seconds. I’m definitely gonna have to follow up on that, but not tonight. Tonight I’m hanging with Jen.
This really isn’t Jen’s scene. She can’t stop giggling. She’s cracking me up. The acts tonight are a bit over the top for me, too. Jen’s about to lose it. This dufus is reciting a poem with words that rhyme with stench, and she’s about to lose it.
I lean over and whisper, “Don't be such a wench.”
She loses it. She busts out laughing and tears up the stairs. I nod to the guys, and we head up the stairs behind her. The dufus seems pretty indignant that we’re leaving in the middle of his performance. He raises the volume on his horrible poem, but who cares about him?
We go to Stan’s and shoot pool. Jen is low maintenance. She’s fine just hanging out, watching us play pool and taking a shot once in a while. I like having her around. She goes and stands by the jukebox, looking over the selections. I join her. I have a buzz going, and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m glad Jen and I are out having fun together. It’s been a long time since that’s happened. I stand behind her and rest my chin on her shoulder as I look at the music. She’s thinking about playing a One Direction song. I really shouldn't neglect her for so long—she clearly needs my musical guidance.
“What do you think of this?” I ask, reaching past her and pointing to a Jane’s Addiction tune.
Jen leans back on me and turns her head to the side. “You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think I might need a refresher course,” she whispers into my ear.
She doesn’t mean it. She’s drunk. “I think you’re drunk,” I tell her and take a step back.
“Maybe I am.” She turns all the way around and wraps her arms around my waist. She presses herself against me, and I feel her warm body through our clothes. It feels nice. “But I still remember how to do certain things,” she says in a way that gets my full attention.
I would love to do certain things to her. I want to kiss her right now and take her home and tear off her clothes and lay her on my bed and do certain things with her. I want to fill her up and hear her make those sounds, those ecstatic, pleasure-filled, amazing sounds she made during our last time together. Sounds that were only for me. But I know she doesn’t mean it. She’s just drunk. In the morning, she’d regret it.
“Well then, if you remember, you won’t be needing any more lessons.” I pull her pretty hands off me. Her eyes open wide in embarrassment. I don’t want to hurt her again. “Come on, Jen,” I say, trying to soothe her. “We agreed—five times and no more. Never, ever. Remember? You’re the one who said it.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jen says a little too quickly. Shit. She’s upset. “I think it’s your turn.” She nods toward Fred, who’s coming up behind me.
I take the cue from him and tell her I’ll be right back. We need to talk more. Her advances might be coming from somewhere other than the beer she’s been pounding all night.
Jen is staring out the window when I come back. “Look, I think that’s Chris.” She points toward the bar across the street.
I look out and see Chris dancing on a table. That girl will do anything for attention. “Yep. That’s her.”
“You know what—I’m going over there. I’ll get a ride home with Chris’s friends. It’ll be easier.”
I can’t believe it, but I want her to leave. It’ll be better that way. If she stays, I might change my mind. That would be bad. I think we’re both feeling more than just the alcohol right now, and if I take her home, we’re going to become much more than friends. That would be bad. Because something will still probably happen with me and Ellie—and who knows who else? I can’t hurt Jen. Not again. Jen acts strong; Jen is strong, but Jen can also break. I watched her break last year. Even while she put up all that armor against me, I could see her breaking. I didn’t like it, and I won’t do it again.
Jen leaves quickly, and I’m relieved. No chance of changing my mind now. But even as the door closes behind her, I have an urge to run after her. I want to be with her. I want it so bad. But I stay where I am, not just for her, but for me. Because what if I’m wrong about how she’s feeling? What if she really is only in it for sex? What if I took her home and she skipped off in the morning and didn’t look back? I’m a coward. That’s why I don’t run and grab her and explain everything and let her decide for herself whether or not to take her chances. I know it’s better to just let her go. Better for her. Better for me.
I stand here and watch her go and let her think I’m not interested. False face must hide what false heart doth know. Fuckin’ Shakespeare.
Read the scene from Jen’s point of view in the first chapter of
Dave: Junior Year
(Three Daves, Part 2)
Acknowledgements
Unending gratitude to the powers that be at Omnific Publishing for giving this story a life beyond fanfiction and for not hesitating when I approached them about this reboot.
Thank you, thank you to everyone who read and loved the first version enough to make me know this rewrite would be a worthwhile endeavor.