by LK Thompson
In the course of our conversation, his shoulder touched mine and a thousand fireworks sparked at the point of contact. Whatever it was, couldn’t be ignored. Plus, he promised to be a gentleman.
“A walk?” I asked, “Sure.”
10/23
My nerves rattled all day leading up to my shift at Jimmy’s. The girls chattered about Morgan’s birthday, which was tomorrow and Jake’s upcoming Halloween party, but I had a one track mind. Even at the end of the day, when Jake said, “Hey, mind if I come with you to work? Practice got cancelled and I could go for some pizza. I won’t bother you,” I stared at him, almost forgetting my own lies. We don’t serve pizza at Jimmy’s.
I stammered, “Oh God no. My boss is such an ass. Roy had friends in last week and got a warning—whatever that means. Morgan was right, I shoulda gotten a job at The Pelham Trattoria.”
Jake rolled his eyes and declared, “See. I told you. What’s the point of working, if you can’t get free pizza?”
“I know! You’re totally right,” I wrapped my hand in his to punctuate my empathy. I was grateful that Jake was still just a simple boy, who was capable of listening, no matter how the distance between us has grown this past week.
“I miss my girlfriend, though. Tell your boss to cut your hours, if he won’t let me visit you.”
I leaned into Jake and I kissed him. No more talking. I couldn’t handle any more than I had to.
By the time I was walking into Jimmy’s, my palms were coated in sweat. Dripping despite the cool autumn breeze. My whole day had been leading up to seeing Mike and I could barely stand it. But then, he barely acknowledged me. What did I expect? Some huge fanfare? For hours, he hid in his office and escaped my glances.
Not wanting to look foolish, I hid away too, busying myself with little jobs I picked up from Stephanie or Roy. I cut lemons, limes, and filled the cherry and olive containers that sat in stations around the bar. I filled shot glasses and test tubes with blue and red mystery alcohols. I even put on a pair of way too tight gloves to help Roy shove little balled up crumbles of bleu cheese into a mountain of green olives. Worry tormented my every move. Had I misheard Mike completely? Or maybe he was having girl problems and needed advice, like Roy. Could it be that I’d fixed myself a reputation as the resident dating therapist of Jimmy’s?
At 8pm on the dot, I meandered over to the computer and began to punch in my employee code to clock out. Happy hour had been slow and the small pile of tips I’d acquired made my level of defeat unbearable. I lingered for a moment and decided against confronting Mike. It was official. I’d completely misread the signals from him yesterday. Both of my arms were inside my coat and I was tying the waist straps tight when Mike brushed past me and dipped his head down to mine. “Let’s get outta here”.
It was cosmic. The tides of the universe had flipped to pull me from a sad trance. He walked swiftly and I followed on his heels. I asked, “Where should we go?”
“Away from here,” He clicked the button on his car keys and directed me, “Come on, get in. People are probably watching.”
“Oh shoot—I rode my bike. I thought we were just going for a walk.”
Mike stopped dead in his tracks, the wheels in his head turning quicker with each breath. He looked to my bike locked to the rack and marched over to it. “You need it ‘cause you’re gonna ride it tomorrow, huh?” I nodded, and then he asked, “Got the code for this thing?”
“Yeah, of course.” I laughed, “It’s my lock.” I ran to free my bike from it’s chain. In one fell swoop, Mike lifted my bike off the ground and dumped it into the trunk of his truck. “C’mon.”
Two heads peered out of the kitchen window. Probably Roy and Crystal. Or maybe Marta. I smiled to myself wondering what they must be thinking before opening the passenger door and sliding onto the black leather seat. The whole inside of his car was meticulously clean and nothing like Taryn’s which was littered in makeup, textbooks, paper, hair products, and the occasional article of clothing. No, Mike’s car was immaculate. I wondered if it made him nervous to have my dingy old bike in the back, scuffing up the ceiling where the wheel was scraping at the trunk light.
As he drove, Mike turned on the radio. He hummed along with the music, not speaking. Halfway across the bridge that connects the lower half of Pelham to Maplewood, he shrunk low in his seat and glanced in my direction. Finally, it was a moment of connection that I couldn’t deny. His eyes were a blue that I’d never noticed in the dark lighting of Jimmy’s and they glistened as he spoke, “How’re you liking Jimmy’s so far? Seems like you’re coming in most week days.”
“Yeah, I’ve been taking whatever Jimmy gives me. I really like it. How long have you been working there?” I asked.
“Five years. So, anyway—enough about the job. What’s the deal with your boyfriend? Edgar in the kitchen told me you wore some hot number to win him back. Is that true?”
Coming from him, it sounded silly. Juvenile and pathetic. A little embarrassed, I admitted, “Yeah, it’s true.”
“But, he cheated on you, right?”
“Yep. Probably more than once.”
Mike let out a short whistle, “Low blow. Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. I don’t really know how much I like him at this point anyway. Kinda just wanted revenge on the girl that he started seeing after me.”
Mike laughed heartily, “Good for you. They definitely deserve it. Because there’s no way he deserves you.”
My face was hot. “Thanks.”
“And he’s gonna do it again. That’s how cheaters operate. I’m around them all day and can spot one from a mile away. Don’t even need to know them or see them in action. From what you’ve said, I can tell he’ll do it again. Probably soon.”
My stomach fell, dragging my voice down with it. What could I say to that?
“Mind if I park by the beach?” Mike asked.
“Sure,” I said, gazing out the window and realizing that Mike had driven to the exact same beach Jake surfed all summer. Opening my door, I said, “There’s actually a great bench right down the walkway from here.”
Mike grinned at my enthusiasm and spoke sarcastically, “A great bench?! I’ve gotta see that. Wanna show me?”
It was windy and cool as I led him down the path to the same bench Jake and I spent countless days at this summer. The bench where he first told me he loved me. And the same bench that was in the background of the picture of him and Michelle kissing.
The tide was high and waves were loud, crashing into the jetty like glass smashing against a wall. If you aren’t from Pelham, it can be jarring, but I was comforted—like an old friend watching over me.
Mike spoke plainly, “Girls like you don’t work at Jimmy’s, you know that right?”
“What kinda girls work there?”
“You know, girls like Crystal. The ones with families who won’t help them pay rent or tell them there are better ways to make money.”
Trying to remain optimistic, I offered, “What if she likes it. She always looks happy on stage.”
“That’s an act. Crystal’s a great actress, in fact, which makes her one of the best. If you ask her, she’ll say she’s earning money for school, But I wouldn’t hold my breath. Girls like Crystal stay put. Just like Marta and Stephanie. They started before I did. Well, Stephanie’s been there since Jimmy opened almost seventeen years ago.”
My age flashed in my mind and I shook my head to release the thought. With Mike, I’m eighteen, not seventeen.
“That sucks about Crystal,” I said, “hopefully, she’s not stuck.”
“Sorry Bella, but you gotta see what’s in front of your face sometimes. She may as well be standing in quicksand.”
My heart sunk for Crystal and I thought of Taryn and how she’ll probably go to an expensive college to major in something completely ridiculous. She’ll likely leave after four years with no real job prospects or life goals. Then, she’d get a job at her parents law firm and bo
ss everyone around. She’ll be rich and exactly the same as she is now. Unhappy and privileged.
“It’s not fair,” I said quietly.
“I didn’t mean to bum you out. Don’t worry about Crystal and the gang. They’re happy—especially now that you work there. You’re the sunshine in everyone’s day.”
I narrowed my eyes in disbelief and asked, “Really?”
“Definitely. The days drag til you get there. Last Tuesday, when you called to tell Jimmy you’d be late, I panicked thinking you might not come in at all. Even Roy yelled out from the kitchen to see what you’d said.”
For a moment, I closed my eyes. I was special to these people. I made their days better. I was special.
Mike leaned into me and placed his arm around my shoulders. I was small and protected. Looking up, I said, “Thanks for telling me that, Mike.”
And he didn’t answer. He just leaned down to kiss me; he knew I wouldn’t object. His lips were soft at first and then more intense. My chest pounded until he pulled away as abruptly as he started, “C’mon, I’ll get you home.”
I was dizzy in his presence and wondered if he felt the same.
Some nights change everything.
10/24
I dropped flowers at Morgan’s house because it’s her birthday and even though the group is drifting in various directions, I have to maintain surface level appearances. On birthdays, I buy flowers. Check!
I’m a good friend that remembers birthdays. Even if every singular second of today was spent fighting my obsessive brain from thinking of Mike’s kiss, I composed myself and went through the motions. It was a miracle.
In Morgan’s driveway, I snuck up on her. Unlike me, she’d gotten her license on time, but instead of addressing it and prolonging my visit, I glossed past the issue entirely and exclaimed, “Morgan! I’m on my way to Jake’s and wanted to give you these!” I shoved the colorful bouquet into her reluctant hands and chirped, “They’re gonna brighten your day!”
Morgan looked to her left at Devin’s house and then back at me, “What? No work at Franks’ today? It is Frank’s, right?”
Feeling bullish on your birthday, huh Morgan? Well, not me.
“Oh yeah, no. Not today. They’re actually cutting a lot of my shifts. Guess I’m not getting the hang of things quick enough. Anyway, happy birthday! Love you!”
I pecked her quickly on the cheek and ran backwards to the sidewalk. I was almost free when Morgan spoke up again, “You don’t work there, Eleanor.”
Shit.
I really didn’t want to do this. Not today. Not now that I’ve just kissed Mike and things are more jumbled than ever. Frozen, I turned to face her. She was fast approaching as she explained, “I stopped by today and they’d never heard of you.”
My instincts told me to lie. Quick, think of something! “You did? Which Frank’s?” I batted my eyelashes in wonderment, but her eyes were stone.
“The only Frank’s in Maplewood. Why’d you lie?”
Her question knocked the air out of my lungs and instantly made me sluggish. Low on energy and eager to run, my shoulders drooped in defeat. “Listen, I’m sorry.” Then I thought about her question. “I don’t know.”
Morgan appeared exasperated, too. Didn’t I realize the repercussions to my actions? Her arms folded in front of her, “So, that’s it?!”
“God, Morgan—take a breath. For now, yes. That’s it. Don’t kill me over this. Please. Please don’t make this into a big problem. And please don’t tell Taryn.”
She rolled her eyes, “Any other requests?”
I felt pissed but didn’t want to talk any longer than I had to. Now, she knew I was a liar and Taryn knew too, but maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t discuss it. If I forced them to secrecy from each other, it could work and I know it’s a long shot, but here’s the thing. Deep down, I believe they want to be my friend. They’re both lost too, but they don’t want to lose me. So, I said, “Yeah. Have a happy birthday, Morgan. You can do it.” And then I was gone.
For the first time, my secrets weren’t bubbling over. I wasn’t eager to connect with Morgan or Taryn or even Harlow because it’s clear they wouldn’t approve. They want me to exist in a small box that they can push around and take places. It’s clear that if I want to keep this part of my life the way it is, I can’t let anyone else find out.
Especially my best friends.
10/27
Outside of Jimmy’s, I slammed my bike into the rack and fumbled with the damn lock. I was eight minutes late to my shift and freaking out. Behind me, the door to the kitchen swung open and Mike poked his head out to yell, “Bella! Shortcut!”
I ran past him, a shiver rushing through my spine as I whispered my thanks and clocked in. I was swift on my feet, making good time, so as not to get caught by Jimmy. On my way into the dressing room to whip off my sweatshirt and jeans, I felt his presence. Mike was blocking the doorway and staring at me. When our eyes caught, he asked, “Are you around later?”
I ducked my head to disguise any nervousness and said, “Oh…sure. I get off at seven.”
He smiled mischievously, “Meet you in the parking lot?”
“I have my bike again.”
His smile spread across his whole face as he said, “I knew you would.”
At seven on the dot, I tossed my sweatshirt back over my head, rubbed cherry lip balm on my lips, and shoved my jeans in my purse. I signaled for Roy to check Jimmy’s whereabouts for me. Thumbs up if he was in the kitchen, thumbs down if he were MIA. I got the thumbs down and made a break for the backdoor.
“Hot date?” Roy asked as I skipped by.
I tried my best to appear nonchalant. “Nope. Just going for a walk with Mike.” Knowing he’d disapprove, I reassured him, “And before you say anything, it’s nothing, really.”
But Roy exhaled disgust and lifted a plate of food onto the server window, “A walk?” He asked, peeling his plastic gloves off to chuck them in the garbage and reach for another pair. “Well, that’s gotta be a first for Mike. Guess he changes material depending on the girl. Be careful, okay?”
I sighed, “There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll just walk around the beach. Besides,” I reminded him, “I have a boyfriend.”
Roy rolled his eyes and I was out the door and jumping into the front seat of Mike’s truck, wisely parked far from wandering eyes this time. Mike grinned as we buckled our seatbelts. He asked, “Same place? The great bench?”
I nodded, sucking in my breath, sick with excitement. We were off into the night. Another quiet drive, but it felt right this time. I thought about stealing a picture of his perfect silhouette as he drove. Something quick that I could send to Harlow so she’d understand a shred of what I’m feeling in this exact moment. A friend that might care. Mike’s jawline was like an artistic masterpiece, chiseled from stone. In PHS, there are boys known for their looks, but Mike’s different. He’s off the charts.
On the great bench, we sat comfortably together, me tucked under his arm. With every gust of wind, he squeezed me into his side and I knew it was wrong, but couldn’t separate myself from him. If he wanted me there, I wanted to be there, learning everything about him. He was talkative for the first time since we met and he spoke openly about his family (he’s an only child with parents down south) and his dog (who is a King Charles Spaniel, named Bubba and was a gift that an ex-girlfriend named Cara gave him three years ago). Mike said he won’t even travel because he doesn’t trust a kennel to watch Bubba properly. He has a dog hotel that he likes, but it costs as much as a human hotel.
Another couple walked by while he spoke in great detail about Bubba’s crush on the neighborhood poodle and I buried my head into his sweatshirt to hide my face. We were in Pelham and I wasn’t safe from my peers here. Mike shielded me and whispered, “Don’t worry, Bella—I’ve got you covered.”
He understood.
When the coast was clear, I tried to explain, “It’s not that I care. It’s just that, I’m
still in high school. And I’m not technically single. Yet.”
“So, what’s your plan anyway? You gonna dump that guy?” He made it sound simple, probably on purpose. But, he got me thinking. Maybe I didn’t need revenge after all. Maybe this was all I needed. To be with him.
“Yeah, I think so.”
Then, he leaned in, touching the hair that framed my face. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck. This was it. I was nothing but dust in his arms and I was terrified. Our lips were an inch apart when I cracked, “I haven’t done it yet, though.” I was practically hyperventilating, “Do you think it matters?”
He didn’t recoil at my question. Mike just smirked at me and bent forward to kiss me once—a light peck on the lips. “You’re a good girl, Bella.”
“You can call me Elle.”
10/30
Jake kissed Michelle. Before I could even break up with him, Jake stupidly took Michelle upstairs without checking his surroundings. I watched in awe for seven seconds before dousing my beer over his head. After that, I yelled and screamed and ran down the stairs into the open arms of the one guy Jake obsesses over more than Michelle’s bra size—his senior football rival, Craig Kast. Salt to the wound.
In that instant, I was released.
I group-texted Roy and Crystal immediately who replied, You’re a free bird, Bella. Fly!
Yes, fly over here, Bella! I’ll sneak you a celebratory shot.
I answered excitedly, Not tonight. Next shift!
My heart raced as Jake hollered and the PHS student body cheered for me. I was triumphant! Craig, who I’ve never spoken more than two words to, put his arm around my waist, accepting me completely and wholly. He was a formidable foe to Jake and much more attractive too. With Jake, that matters. But I wasn’t satisfied. Neither Roy nor Crystal would deliver my news to the person who I wanted to know the most. Mike. I found myself huddled in the corner of Jake’s yard wondering whether I could tell him. Should I? He’d given me his phone number, which made me think I should. Quickly, I texted, How’s your night going? You were right about my boyfriend. He did it again.