by H. H. Fowler
Tayah stared at her mother. “What’s going on with you?”
“No, no, you came here to talk about you and Phillip. I’m an old veteran. I should be able to weather the storm a little better than you, don’t you think?”
Tayah cracked a smile. “I never thought I would ever hear you quote any of grandma’s words.”
“Me either,” Michelle laughed. “The older I get, the more her words make sense.”
“Isn’t that how it supposed to be?” Tayah said, still patting the corners of her eyes. She was hurting so much she was afraid she would lose it right there in front of her mother. “These days the elderly women don’t teach the younger women anymore.”
“This is a two-way street,” Michelle said. “The younger women today are independent. Many of them feel their grandmothers are too old fashion. Even I’ve been called old fashion by your generation.”
“We’re crazy, that’s why,” Tayah said. “Don’t listen to us. We’re in this mess because we think we know it all.”
As it was with any devoted mother, Michelle couldn’t stand to see her children suffering, especially when they cried. She took one long look at Tayah and knew something had gone terribly wrong. “Talk to me, Tayah. What’s going on between you and Phillip?”
“Oh mother, where do I start?” Tayah didn’t have enough tissue to absorb her tears, which now flowed steadily down her flushed cheeks. “Phillip said some really hurtful things to me last night. His words stung so hard that I wanted to use them as an excuse to walk out of our marriage.”
Michelle held her daughter’s hand. “Honey, we all say things that we don’t mean when we’re upset.”
“Not this time, mother,” Tayah said. “Something’s going on with Phillip and I don’t have a clue to what it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. He’s different. He’s not the same Phillip that I knew six months ago. When I got home yesterday, he was drunk…”
“Drunk? Deacon Phillip?”
“Mother, please. Those titles don’t mean anything.”
“You can understand why I’m shocked? It appears as if you’re talking about two different people.”
“It feels like I’m living with two different people,” Tayah said. “One minute he’s this sweet caring man and other times, he’s mean and disruptive.”
“Tell me he didn’t put his hands on you.”
When Tayah didn’t respond, Michelle panicked. “Oh God, what did he do to you? Tayah!”
“He pushed me,” she said, annoyed by her mother’s reaction. “Nothing serious.”
“That is serious, Tayah.” To say Michelle was incredulous was an understatement. “Why didn’t you come to us with this sooner?”
“And say what, mother? That Phillip wants a baby and I can’t give him one? How many times have I told you and daddy that? It’s getting old.”
“It sounds as if you blame yourself for the way he’s acting.”
“And you wouldn’t? For three years, I’ve been trying to give my husband a child and every twenty-ninth day of the month, I’m disappointed.”
“Tayah, listen to me,” Michelle said, her voice strong with concern. “Marriage is about two people coming together to share the load, not make one partner feel as if he or she is carrying it alone. Phillip is selfish. He doesn’t care about how this is making you feel. I think you should talk to Leroy about this. He would know what to do.”
“Don’t make a spectacle out of my marriage, mother,” Tayah said. “Let me handle this the way I see fit.”
“Baby, I’m worried about you.” Michelle stood up. “I’ve always had my reservations about Phillip–”
“Stop it!” Tayah stood up too. “I didn’t come here to listen to you berate my husband. We’re not perfect. Just as you and daddy are not perfect. I know y’all are having problems. I can see it in your face every Sunday when that woman takes the microphone from daddy.”
Michelle’s eyes watered. “Why, Tayah? Why would you intentionally hurt me when I’m only expressing my concern for you?” When the tears dropped, she wiped them with the back of her hand. “If that’s what you want, fine, have it your way. I won’t meddle in your life anymore.”
“And it’s not even about meddling,” Tayah said. “It’s about facing the truth and being honest with yourself. If you don’t deal with this woman, I promise you, she will deal with you.”
“Tayah, you could be very mean when you’re upset,” Michelle told her daughter. “I’m not your enemy. I’m your mother and when any one of my children is in pain, I will respond. Please, don’t make me have to apologize for caring for you.”
Tayah took in a deep breath, wanting to cry even more. “You’re right. You shouldn’t have to apologize for caring about your children. I was wrong for lashing out at you like that. I just wish I could experience those same feelings with my own baby…”
“And you will, Tayah,” Michelle said with conviction. “You and Phillip will have children and there’s no doubt in my mind about it.”
“I pray to God we do, mother. If only for Phillip’s sake.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
2:22 p.m.
Any time that Leroy was alone, he was sure to experience several bouts of depression. The burden of carrying around a secret and trying to hide it from the people he loved was destroying his resolve day by day. He knew that God had forgiven him, but it was impossible to enjoy the feeling of being forgiven when Shaniece kept the past dangling in front of his eyes. He felt trapped, and no matter how much he wanted to empty his soul to Michelle, life as they knew it continued to disintegrate. There had to be a way to get rid of Shaniece without drawing attention to his family and to the church. He pressed a button on the intercom and buzzed Mrs. Wesson.
“Yes, sir?”
“Brenda, let Shaniece know I wish to see her in my office.”
There was a pause and Leroy thought the line had dropped. “Brenda?”
“Sir? I will get right on it.”
“Thank you.”
As he waited for Shaniece, Leroy took the time to reflect on the conversation he’d had with Michelle earlier this morning. He’d been married to her for twenty-six years and what he didn’t know about her now, he would never know. She was up to something. His wife did not go to Brandon to book dates for a women’s conference. She could have done that over the phone. But what made her think of Brandon? That incident, which almost claimed his life, happened almost five years ago. Something must have triggered her and sent her curiosity swinging into high gear. His fingers, as they occasionally do, subconsciously rubbed the indentation above his left eyebrow. To this day, he still couldn’t believe that he’d survived that brutal attack. The scenes of that night never fully left him.
They seemed to have materialized out of nowhere. Two strapped young hoodlums, plowing behind him, blaring profanity. They’d chased him half a mile from the location of his sin. They must have been sent after him. He knew that he shouldn’t have done it. He’d reasoned that it was okay to do it once – to settle his longing for something fresh, something out of character. The voice of God had assured him that night that he would not only regret it but would suffer at the hands of his captors…
“Okay, okay!” He’d shouted, running into a cul de sac, out of breath. They had caged him in, and by the looks on their faces, he could tell they’d killed before. “Young bloods, think about what you’re doing. Put down the weapon…”
“Man, shut up with all that crap!” Clutching a brand new Smith & Wesson .357, the gunman’s finger nervously toyed with the trigger. “I outta’ pop one in your stupid leg; just for makin’ us run.”
“How old are you?” Leroy had asked them. “You look no more than eighteen. Not much younger than my two sons.”
“Awwwh, man, you messed up big time. Them boys don’t know you a pervert? Yo’ man, that’s messed up! When they find out, they would thank me for puttin’ you out your misery.”
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He remembered it being a warm summer night, but the coldness of the gunman's words sent his temperature to sub-zero. If this was hopelessness, he’d thought, he couldn’t imagine what death would bring upon him. He thought about his funeral procession that would extend two blocks, as his family and congregation marched to his burial site.
As morbid as that picture had been, it didn’t terrify him as much as what would be said of his legacy, especially when the world found out the reason behind his murder. It’d been more than he'd bargained for, but he’d refused to entertain any feelings of regret at that point, because it would’ve only interfered with the plan he’d had up his sleeves.
“What you doin’? Get back!” The gunman screamed. “Get back!”
“It’s okay, young blood, give me the weapon,” Leroy said, speaking as a reassuring father.
“Man, I’ll put a bullet in your face. Get back!”
“It’s okay, it’s okay, just give me the weapon…” Just two more slow steps, he’d thought.
He did get an infinitesimal second of opportunity, but it’d proved to be the deadliest mistake of his life. A scuffle ensued, ending just as quickly as it'd started. He heard a gunshot crack the atmosphere like a thunderbolt. And then he heard the hoodlums scrambling to their feet, abandoning him to bleed to death on the asphalt…
“It’s about time that we have this meeting,” Shaniece barked at Leroy, yanking him back to reality. “I have much to discuss with you.”
“Have a seat, Shaniece.”
“No, thank you. I’ll stand.”
“Fine. Suit yourself.” He gave her his most serious look. “How long will this charade continue, Shaniece?”
“Charade? This is not a charade. This is the work of God–”
“Cut the bull,” Leroy snapped. “You don’t expect me to stay silent forever, do you?”
She smiled. “Actually, I do. Unless you could supply me with a sweeter life than I’m living, you really don’t have a choice. Besides, I love sharing the spotlight with you. We’re a team, Leroy. This church wouldn’t have been as successful without me.”
“I could care less. I want you out of our lives.”
“One thing about life, you don’t always get what you want.”
Leroy pounded his fist on the desk, frightening Shaniece. “Stop with the games! Make your offer and be gone out of here!”
Shaniece got excited at Leroy’s outburst. She cupped her hands against her bosom, smiling big. “No time to crack under pressure, my little pervert…”
“Don’t you dare call me that!”
“You might as well accept it, because that’s what you are.” She took several steps closer to him, dropping her voice low enough to administer her poisonous words. “My sister was only fifteen when you drove thirty miles from town to have sex with her–twice that night. And if you think for one minute that I’m gonna let you forget that, you better think again!”
Leroy’s countenance fell and so did his spirit. He was never going to be free of this woman. “She told me she was eighteen. I didn’t know…” he started.
“That’s not the point. Even your ditzy wife will tell you that. You should not have been there in the first place.”
“You sent those gunmen after me, didn’t you?”
“Now, there’s a question that I won’t answer,” Shaniece said, as she edged her buttocks onto his desk, giving Leroy a clear shot of her cleavage. “But I will tell you that I saved your life – but enough of this sad stuff. Let’s get on with a more joyful topic. Do you still want to get rid of me?”
Leroy was too broken to speak at the moment. If he’d only seen the consequences that his sin would bring down upon him, he would have stayed in his hotel that night, locked away in prayer.
“Lost for words? Well, here’s my offer. You can either accept it or deal with me for the rest of your life.” Legs dangling in front of Leroy, she started to move them back and forth. “I’ve been thinking. A woman of my caliber, who has utilized her talents to introduce the best in Christendom, should not limit herself to someone else’s dynasty. I am too powerful to be suppressed by testosterone, inferior to my influence. I practiced those lines last night…”
Leroy waited for the punch line, but had already started to feel sick to his stomach.
“This is what I propose,” she continued. “I want to establish a new headquarters in my name, which of course, will be under my sole leadership.”
That didn’t seem as hard as Leroy imagined. “What’s the catch?”
“Oh there’s always a catch,” she smiled. “I want half of the membership and half of the church’s bank account.”
“You’ve got to be tripping.” Leroy felt his spine kicked back into place. “Over my dead body!”
She began to caress his shoulders. “C’mon, don’t be such a tight pants. Relax and think it over–”
He jumped up, gripping her hands and shoving her away from him. “I will not allow you to push me into a corner. You don’t know who you’re messing with!”
She giggled. “Of course I do, pervert…” She kept on giggling and giggling, irritating the hair out of Leroy’s head.
“Stop it! Stop it!” He reached out, grabbed her and wrestled with her, losing his balance as he fell on top of her.
The noise was so loud that neither of them heard the office door open. Dressed in her business-like suit, with her Gucci bag resting on her forearm, Michelle watched the scene before her, speechless. Leroy’s head snapped up, catching the teary eyes of his wife.
“Michelle!” He pitched up from Shaniece. “This is not what it looks like…”
“Oh sure, Leroy. Go ahead and try to lie your way out of this one.”
Shaniece gave Michelle a coy smile as she straightened her clothes. “We were just having a little holy fun.”
Leroy stumbled over to Michelle and attempted to hold her. “Don’t believe her! Nothing was going on between us…”
Michelle swatted his hand away. “You were on top of her! Don’t tell me that nothing was going on.”
“Baby, I know this don’t look right, but trust me when I tell you that this is not w–”
Michelle finished Leroy’s sentence with a stinging slap. She adjusted her shades over her eyes and practically ran out of Leroy’s office.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hey, girl. Meet me somewhere. I’m hungry.
Sorry, Dominic, but I just ate some pasta. Maybe later?
You brushed me off yesterday, Tayah. I’m not letting that happen again.
I really can’t. I’m busy preparing for the events tomorrow.
Why does it seem as if you’re avoiding me?
A long pause ensued.
I’m not; just busy.
What is up with you, girl?
Dominic please, I’m dealing with a lot. Just let it rest.
Whatever you want, Tayah. Call me whenever you can. I’m just concerned about you…
If she’d kept the text going, she knew Dominic would have never left her alone. He was a pest in the making. At the beginning of the week, she would have welcomed all the attention, but now, as she sat on her patio, adjusting a word document in her Asus Notebook, she felt smothered by it, especially after Phillip had gone on and on about him last night. God forbid, if she should see Dominic any time soon. Her BlackBerry went off again, but this time the text was from Ian Laing:
Let the caterer know the headcount for the breakfast seminar has increased by forty.
Wow. What happened there?
A large group from Atlanta flew in last evening. Good thing that we booked the bigger room in time.
Yeah, I’m glad the board listened. Don’t worry. I’ll get right on it.
Thanks, Tayah! I can always depend on you.
That reminded her, she hadn’t decided on what she was going to wear at the volunteer banquet tomorrow night. With so much going on in her life, she doubted she would have time to go out to buy anything new. She wo
uld just have to hunt through her closet and find something that fit. Her hair was another story. She hadn’t a single idea what she wanted to do with it. Should she wear it up or down? Should she wear a hair band or a cluster of flowers?
Under different circumstances, she would have been excited about getting prepared for this event, but at the moment, her mind was not in a festive state. It amazed her how her week had started in high spirits, and now it appeared to be ending in misery and gloom.
“Got off early?”
Tayah moved her eyes away from her notebook long enough to acknowledge Phillip, who was standing over her. Seeing him, set off her pain afresh. She fought to hold it together.
“So you’re giving me the silent treatment?” He pulled out a chair and sat opposite her. Reaching in his jacket, he removed a single red rose and placed it on the table for her to see. “I acted like a jerk last night, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of those stupid things that I said to you. I don’t know what came over me.” He paused, wringing his fingers as if they were soaked with water. “Crap, this is harder than I thought…”
Negro, you had better come up with something better than that lame apology, she thought. ‘Cause even this cheap cologne you have on is working against you…
“Tayah, do you remember when I took you out for the first time?” he asked. “I’d begged you for two months before you agreed. You were so strong-willed, and I couldn’t understand why you refused to ride with me in my car…”
‘Cause I didn’t know you that well, fool. You could have been a murderer. Where’s this leading anyway? ‘Cause right now, Phillip, you’re not making any sense. Better yet, why don’t you just get up out my face?
“We went to the IMAX Dome Theatre on Busch,” Phillip continued, smiling as the memories flooded his mind. “We watched Stomp Out Loud. Do you remember how crazy that gig was? Their dance moves were tight. You tried to deny it, but you were impressed.”
Big deal. What's your point?
“I showed you that night that I was just as good, or even better. I showed you how much of a good time we could have together. That was the turning point for us, Tayah. We had fun. We laughed and enjoyed hangin’ out. That night I promised you that I would keep that pretty little smile on your face.”