by Max Hudson
“Right,” he replied, shaking his head. “I know that. See, these are all things that I know, at least inside my head.”
She nodded once more, saying nothing.
“And honestly,” he continued. “I never wanted to date, not after Derek.”
“I mean, how could you want to date, when the guy was such an asshole?”
“Right,” Luca said, swallowing. “He left a bad taste in my mouth, and because of him, I wasn’t open to having a relationship with anyone else, if that makes sense.”
“Yeah,” she said. “It makes sense to me. He hurt you.”
“Right,” Luca replied. “And he made me feel like, I don’t know, everyone else would just do that same thing with me.”
“Do what with you?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Use me and discard me, I guess.”
“Luca, that’s terrible,” Beth said. She grabbed the other pint of ice cream and started to open it, grabbing the other spoon. They didn’t mind sharing spoons, but one spoon per ice cream pint seemed reasonable to him. “And you know it’s a lie.”
“Yeah, like, in my head I know it’s a lie,” he said. “But in my heart, it felt like the truth for the longest time.”
“That sucks,” she said. “I wish you would have talked to me about it.”
Luca shrugged. “I guess I wanted to, but also, I didn’t want you to see me as a loser.”
“Because of Derek?”
“Because I made the terrible decision to date Derek, even though you had warned me that he was no good.”
“I was hardly going to rub it in your face.”
“I know that,” he said, licking his lips. They tasted like chocolate and caramel, and talking about this was making him feel a lot better. “It was more of my own hang-up than anything else, which I’m sure didn’t help matters.”
“I wouldn’t tell you I told you so when you’re feeling vulnerable,” she said, shaking her head. Her mouth was full of ice cream. She swallowed before she continued talking. “I mean, I would wait until you’re nice and cozy. Eating ice cream or something.”
He laughed and flipped her off. “Thanks,” he said. “It’s nice to know I can always count on you.”
“You can always count of me,” she said once she’d stop laughing. She looked him dead in the eyes when she did. “I’m serious. Look, we’re all people, right? We’re all learning all the time. You’re not always going to be perfect. God knows I’m not perfect, so I don’t know why you think you need to be.”
He shook his head. “I think that’s something I’m going to have to discuss with my psychiatrist,” he said.
“It’s weird that you have a psychiatrist now.”
“I agree,” he said, nodding his head. “Super weird, but it might be a good thing. If there’s anything the last few days have made exceedingly clear it’s that I need to reevaluate my life.”
“Luca—”
“No, I’m serious,” he said. “And I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is. I absolutely need to reevaluate my life. In regard to dating, in regard to the way that I carry myself. In regard to the help I’m willing to receive.”
“You can’t beat yourself up about this, honey,” she said.
“I’m trying not to,” he said. “But honestly, I can’t really help myself. I feel like such an asshole when I look back on all the time I wasted, y’know?”
She cocked her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and narrowing her eyes a little bit. “What do you mean by that?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“By time you wasted,” she clarified.
“I don’t know,” he said, wiping the tears away from his eyes. “I guess I could have been seeing other guys, but I feel like Derek took the opportunity from me. I just wanted something to fall into my lap. And then when it did, I realized that I wasn't nearly as ready as I thought.”
She smiled, a twinkle in her eyes. It was the way she looked when she didn’t want to say something to him.
“What?” he asked. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” she said. “It’s silly.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s silly,” he replied, waving his tiny spoon at her. “I still want to know.”
She shook her head. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”
Beth normally wasn’t shy, so this was making Luca laugh, but it was making him even more curious. “You have to tell me now.”
“But you can’t get mad.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Last time I said I wouldn’t get mad, it bit me in the ass.”
“Just try not to, okay? Remember that I’m being lighthearted here and not serious.”
He nodded, his eyes narrow and his head cocked, as he watched his best friend. She seemed a little uncomfortable when she actually spoke, and her voice was so quiet that Luca had to strain to hear her. “Okay, don't you think it's a little bit funny that you completely forgot about what had happened with Derek, and then when you woke up, you saw Brooklyn? I mean, I don't really think that I believe in destiny or preordained fate or anything like that, but this might be it at work.”
Luca’s eyes narrowed as his heart started to do flips in his chest. “Wait, hold on a second,” he said, his eyes wide. He hadn’t considered this—he didn’t know if he believed in destiny himself—but there was something that he found extremely appealing about the idea. “Do you think that this is destiny at work? Really?”
She nodded, putting the ice cream down on the table in front of her. When she spoke, she gestured with her hands, something that she only did when she was extremely excited. “I'm saying, that if I did believe in destiny, this is the kind of thing I would totally believe in. You didn’t remember anything that had happened with Derek, which made it so that you weren’t afraid to pursue a guy that you liked. That was all you were thinking about. You weren’t thinking about Derek and how he used and abused you, all that you were thinking about was Brooklyn and how much you wanted to be with him. Right?”
Luca bit his lower lip, his eyes widening even more. He did like where she was going with this, there was something extremely appealing about it. “Right,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Beth sat back. Her tone was a little more subdued when she spoke again. “Right,” she repeated. “All I’m saying is that if this is the guy that you end up with, and you pursued him because you forgot all about Derek, maybe there is something to be said for your accident.”
His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.
“Oh, shit,” she said, shaking her head, her cheeks crimson red. “You know what I mean.”
He laughed, flipping her off again. “Oh my God, Beth,” he said. “Has anyone ever told you that you're an asshole?”
She nodded. “Yeah, dude, constantly.”
When they were done laughing, she smiled at him, and Luca took a deep breath before he asked her his next question. “But do you really think so?”
She raised her eyebrows.
“I mean, do you really think it could be destiny?”
“Maybe,” she said. “There’s no way to know until we see it play out.”
“I guess that’s true,” he replied. “And you know, it isn't as if I've actually asked him out.”
“Right. He said to wait until you were ready.”
He rubbed his temple again. “Uh huh,” he said. “I think that was prompted because I was kind of a dick to him because Derek was at the door. I feel like I might have lost my chance with him because of that.”
She scoffed. “He didn’t say never to call him,” she said. “He said to call him when you're ready, and you know what that means.”
“I really don’t.”
“Look, Luca, romantic comedies sometimes take years.”
“That’s true,” he said.
“Do you remember that show we watched?”
He looked at her. “Which show?”
“You know, it was on for like nine years?
It was all ‘will they won't they?’ At the end, they had the perfect magical wedding with all their families and friends. You don’t remember that?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean, I do remember that, but that’s not what I want for my own life.”
“What do you want for your own life?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know in the long-term. But I do know that I want to go out with Brooklyn.”
He rubbed his temple again and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “I just, I think I have to call my parents.”
She smiled at him knowingly. “Yeah,” she said. “I think you do.”
Chapter Ten
It had been around a month since the accident, and for the first time since he had moved temporarily back in with his parents, Luca felt like time was going too fast. Most of the time he was very busy, which helped with living in his childhood home. He liked being there and his dad and mom. They had converted the garage into a bedroom for him, which Luca had to admit might even be nicer than his apartment. He liked being busy, though. He loved his parents, but living with them again wasn’t what Luca would have called fun.
He was mostly busy with his recovery. He was going to the physiotherapist, going to the psychotherapist, and going to the hospital for his check-ups, in addition to other things. He felt like he spent so much time at the hospital that it had become something like a second home, and sometimes, when he got out of work, he would go straight to the hospital.
Work wasn’t too hard. He had postponed the meeting with Michael after realizing that he had jumped the gun. Of course he wanted a promotion, but the most important thing that he was to focus on was his recovery and he wouldn’t have been able to do that if he had been too worried about proving himself a good regional sales manager. Another position would crop up, Luca was sure. It always did.
He was glad that he wasn’t too busy, in any case. Every single day felt like it was taken up by something, and even though he got home to his parents who tried to give him his space, he still felt like they babied him. He supposed that he couldn’t blame them, since they had nearly lost him during his motorcycle accident.
He tried to cut them some slack. Part of being a good son was trying to be understanding, and he was trying to do that even though sometimes he felt like rolling his eyes at them because he thought that they were excessive. They had even given him his dad’s old car.
It wasn't a nice car by any means of the imagination. It was old and it had tons of miles on it, but it was free and it was built like a tank, and that was exactly what his parents needed him to have in order for him to be able to drive himself around. As far as Luca was concerned, that meant it was nice enough.
It was a little two-door sedan, red with wooden sides, and it was perfect for what Luca needed. He didn't need much. He just needed to go to work and take it when he went out. Not that he went out much. He mostly stayed inside unless he had to go to the hospital or go do something related to his treatment. This time, however, it was different. He wasn’t going to use the car he had inherited from his father for this, because that would have been beyond embarrassing. It was Friday night and the clock seemed to be teasing him.
He sighed, opening the front-facing camera of his phone and checking his teeth for maybe the fourth time. It wasn’t as if he was getting picked up late. He had just gotten ready far too early, and now he was paying for it. He didn’t want to be a sweaty mess when Brooklyn knocked on the door, so he told himself to calm the fuck down and opened his message thread with Brooklyn.
He had managed to gather up enough courage to get in touch with Brooklyn again and ask him if he wanted to go out with him. Brooklyn hadn’t replied at all for the first twelve nerve-wrecking hours and Luca had thought that his chance with him had completely disappeared. That was until he’d heard his phone buzzing next to him on the nightstand. Sleepily, he had reached over to grab it. He had been extremely surprised when he had seen that it was a text from Brooklyn.
For some reason, he had expected anything but that. It was just a smiley face, Brooklyn just saying hello back to him, but it was enough to make his heart jump in his chest and start to go about a million miles an hour.
Every time he thought about Brooklyn, that was how he felt. He had been so convinced that Brooklyn wasn’t going to want to answer him, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with him, that he had been extremely surprised when he had answered him.
He had instantly sat up and started composing a text to ask him out. He had read it about a dozen times before he had managed to send it off. The first draft had been a lot more complex than the last draft, explaining everything that had happened with Derek. When he had read it again, Luca had realized that Brooklyn had no need to know any of that. All that he needed was to know that Luca wanted to take him out and that he was sorry that he had been such a dick.
That was exactly what he wrote in the text. He didn’t really expect a reply, but he got one anyway. The reply was a resounding yes, one that made Luca feel a little queasy. Brooklyn asked when he could pick him up, so Luca had told him that it would have to be Friday. Brooklyn had to move some shifts around, according to what Luca had heard, but he didn’t seem to mind it too much.
It seemed like Brooklyn was looking forward to the two of them hanging out. Luca was looking forward to it too, a lot. Probably a little too much.
That was why he jumped the moment that he heard someone knock on the door. His parents had gone out for the night, because he had told them that he had a date, and they had said that it was time for them to do so too. He knew that it was probably just to give him some space and he appreciated them for it.
He walked over to the door and opened it. He told himself not to gasp when he saw Brooklyn in front of him. Of course he remembered what Brooklyn looked like, he had been the subject of many late night fantasies. However, even in his head, he hadn't expected him to be so beautiful once he managed to see him in person again. And he was beautiful, so beautiful that Luca had to look away for a second to gather his thoughts before he turned around to look at him again.
He was wearing jeans that hugged his legs and a black button-down shirt that seemed to show off his muscular arms despite the fact that the sleeves were long. In his hands, he was holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Here,” Brooklyn said. Luca noticed how red his cheeks were. He grabbed the flowers from him and smiled.
“Thank you,” he said, his cheeks probably just as red as Brooklyn’s. “What are these for?”
“I never wished you a speedy recovery,” Brooklyn said. “And I realized that was rude of me.”
“Yeah, you know what? It was kind of rude,” Luca said with a smirk. “Do you want to come in?”
“Sure,” Brooklyn said. “The movie doesn’t start for another hour or so.”
“Let me just get these in some water,” he said. “Come on in.”
Brooklyn did as he was told, looking around and whistling. “Your parents have good taste,” he said. “Their home is beautiful. Is this where you grew up?”
“Yes,” Luca said, looking around. “I only really learned to appreciate the décor when I grew up, though. Little Luca didn’t want anything to do with it.”
Brooklyn smiled. “Yeah,” he said, looking around at all the sculpture work Luca’s father had bought over the years. “These look expensive. And fragile.”
“They’re both,” Luca replied. “Very much both.”
“They look it,” Brooklyn said as he walked inside. “They’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah,” Luca replied once he’d put the flowers in water. He walked with the pretty vase away from Brooklyn. “Wait until you see my bedroom, which won’t happen for a while. It’s upstairs My parents hate stairs. Also, comparatively, it’s totally a shithole.”
“I saw your apartment,” Brooklyn said as he snickered. “That wasn’t too bad.”
&
nbsp; Luca laughed. “You’re being nice.”
“There’s no crime against that.”
“But maybe there should be,” Luca said. He walked into the garage and turned to Brooklyn to tell him to watch his step, but before he had managed to do so, Brooklyn was falling over and Luca was there, catching him. It wasn’t that he was super dexterous or anything like that, it was just that he had been right in front of Brooklyn when it had happened. He was also lucky in the sense that he didn’t spill anything from the vase and the flowers remained exactly where they should be.
It felt like something out of a movie. He had managed to hold Brooklyn in one arm and he had moved back slightly so that Brooklyn’s face was right in front of him. He hadn’t expected Brooklyn to be as gorgeous up close as he was from afar. Or maybe he had been in denial when he thought that he had fucked it all up.
That was the last thing that he wanted, to lose his chance with someone as good-looking and nice as Brooklyn. Maybe he had tried to forget how cute he was because that was the only thing that he could do in order to feel better about himself and his stupid decision. But now, faced with the way that Brooklyn looked—fuck, he wasn’t even sure what he could do.
Brooklyn, on the other hand, seemed to have other ideas. He slung one arm around Luca’s waist and pulled him closer to him. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment,” he said, his voice low and gravelly.
Before Luca could process what he was doing, Brooklyn was pressing his lips against Luca’s own. Luca had also dreamed of this moment, but in his head, it hadn’t been nearly as smooth. It also hadn’t been nearly as sweet.
Brooklyn’s lips were firm against his own, sending a surge of electricity down his spine and through his entire body. He didn’t ask for more, he didn’t even seem to want more. It was a closed mouthed kiss, a perfect one for a start, but definitely a start.
By the time that Brooklyn pulled away from him, Luca was gasping for breath.
“What?” Brooklyn said. He grabbed the vase from Luca’s hands and had started to take it to Luca’s nightstand. “You can put it anywhere you want; it just looked like you were going to drop it.”