by Mari Carr
It felt good to make her and Jakob smile. Until this afternoon, he didn’t realize exactly how somber they’d been back in Frankfurt. His mama always liked to say that sometimes you didn’t realize how unhappy a person was until you saw them truly happy. That was certainly true for Annalise and Jakob.
The trip to Old Town was relatively short distance-wise, though it was made longer by the traffic on the city streets.
When the driver pulled the taxi to the curb, Jakob paid the man and they left the car.
Old Town was crowded at this time of day. Walt had no trouble distinguishing the locals from the tourists, though he figured that was true of most large cities. He recalled his family’s first trip to New York City when he was ten. He and his brothers had walked around with their heads thrown back, staring in amazement at the gigantic skyscrapers, while his mother snapped no fewer than a thousand pictures of basically everything.
Once they were on the sidewalk, Annalise glanced up at the museum and sighed. “It exists. I was hoping you were joking.”
Walt winked at her as he placed his hand on her lower back, propelling her toward the entrance. Jakob followed, and Walt could feel the weight of the other man’s eyes where Walt was touching her.
His grip on Annalise was intentional, a “piss or get off the pot” challenge to Jakob. What he hadn’t expected was for Annalise to shift incrementally closer to him. Or for her to smell so good. Or for his body to react quite so strongly.
Walt did some mental math and realized he hadn’t had sex in over seven years. Most people, with the exception of his brothers, would probably find his lack of sexual experience shocking. After all, he was in his thirties with a healthy sex drive. The problem was his work ethic was much stronger.
He’d graduated top of his class at medical school, then joined AMEDD—U.S. Army Medical Department—as a commissioned officer. The armed services had been desperate for doctors at the time, so he’d been able to join for just two years, while having some of the other requirements waived. He’d spent most of those two years stationed overseas, and that time had taught him more about what being a doctor really meant than all his years of medical school and residency.
After leaving the military, he’d joined Doctors Without Borders, traveling to some of the most dangerous places in the world, where he typically worked sixteen- to eighteen-hour days. Then he’d taken over the clinic in Libya, planning to be there for a few years before moving on to somewhere else.
Time for sex was something he simply didn’t have. Not when there were wounds to bandage, burns to soothe, broken and beaten bodies to put back together, and most importantly, people who needed compassion and information in equal measure.
Annalise glanced up at Walt, their faces quite close. It wouldn’t take much movement on his part to lower his head and kiss her. His eyes briefly slid to her lips. Annalise slowly licked her bottom lip before tugging on it with her teeth. He couldn’t tell if her action was based on nerves or an invitation. He shifted even closer, his hand on her back, pulling her toward him.
Jesus.
Walt was being as subtle about his desires as a sledgehammer to the head. He loosened his grip as they reached the door.
Jakob was standing even closer than before, his brows furrowed as he looked from Walt to Annalise, then back to Walt. Their unsubtle interchange hadn’t gone unnoticed. But Walt wasn’t feeling jealousy from the other man, as expected. Instead, Jakob’s eyes had taken their own lip inventory—but it was Walt’s lips he was studying.
Interesting.
And…fuck him…also arousing.
Walt tried to push all thoughts of sex out of his head. Something he didn’t usually have a problem with.
Today? The struggle was real.
Walt opened the door for Jakob and Annalise, then stepped in behind them, finally addressing Annalise’s earlier comment about the existence of the Pharmacy Museum. “This place is very real. According to the article I read about it, it’s a chemical odyssey. How could we miss it?” he joked.
Jakob glanced around, unimpressed. “Very easily.”
Annalise laughed as Walt said, “Was that humor, Jakob?”
Jakob narrowed his eyes, but there was no heat behind the look.
For the next two hours, Walt and his traveling companions toured the museum, pleased when they both got into the spirit of the place, asking intelligent questions and approaching each exhibit with the same enthusiasm he felt. The museum was every bit as cool as the article he’d read about it, a true journey through the medicinal past of Poland. When he’d suggested they tour the museum, he’d planned to put them out of their misery quickly, stealing as much time as he dared before setting them free.
Neither Annalise nor Jakob gave the appearance of boredom. In fact, it was Walt who’d had to move Annalise along from the medical implements exhibit.
Once they were back on the street, they meandered around Old Town—this was clearly the part of the visit Annalise had been looking forward to—taking in the shops and sights until Annalise suggested they grab something to eat.
Apparently Walt hadn’t been the only one to do a little Krakow research prior to their trip. Annalise suggested a restaurant she’d found online that she wanted to try, so they headed to Bunkier Sztuki. Thanks to the—relatively—warm January weather, they grabbed a table out on the large patio where sunlight and small heaters kept them comfortable. From here, they had an excellent view of Planty Park. They ordered a falafel and hummus plate to share as well as coffee. Annalise had looked around, delighted, admitting that before Eric and Walt had shown up in Frankfurt, it had been years since she’d actually eaten in a restaurant.
“Whoa,” Walt said after tasting the falafel. “That is seriously good. You have to try this.” Walt dipped a piece of falafel in the tahini sauce and held it out to Annalise, who leaned forward, accepting the bite from his fingers.
Her lips brushed his fingertips, and Walt stilled for a moment, his mind traveling over all the other places on his body he wanted to feel her lips. Annalise’s gaze connected with his for just a moment, and he realized he wasn’t alone in his attraction.
“That is good,” she said, her voice suddenly husky and sexy as hell. “Jakob should try it too.”
Walt nodded, then slowly reached for another piece of falafel. He turned to Jakob and held it out. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t what happened.
Jakob, like Annalise, leaned forward, allowing Walt to feed it to him. Neither Walt nor Jakob looked away from each other, the moment so sexually charged, Walt forgot to breathe.
“I want to go back to the hotel,” Annalise whispered, her voice so quiet, Walt wasn’t certain he’d heard her correctly.
He and Jakob both turned to look at her, the Ritter’s gaze suddenly alarmed, as if he feared Annalise had been frightened by something.
Walt blew out a long, slow breath, muttering a softly spoken, “Damn.”
Annalise wasn’t afraid of a damn thing, and she wasn’t retreating to the hotel to hide.
“Now,” she added, her voice stronger, sexier…hungrier.
Walt rose from the table without hesitation. It took Jakob longer to react, but not much longer.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Walt said. “How do you say ‘check, please’ in Polish?”
Jakob turned his attention to their server, staring hard. The man stiffened and hurried over.
“Huh, that was a nice trick,” Walt said. His stare didn’t make people react like prey being hunted.
“It was this or yell ‘dick’,” Jakob murmured.
Annalise snorted in surprised amusement while Jakob paid the bill. “Let’s go.”
Chapter Nine
Annalise glanced at the couch where Jakob had slept the previous night. It had taken every bit of willpower she possessed not to suggest that they share the bed. Instead, she’d tossed and turned restlessly and spent most of the night fantasizing about what it would be li
ke to have him there with her, while Jakob did what he always did—protected her.
Walt followed them in and the fact that he was there, in their room, made the attraction from the restaurant seem all too real. Flirting in public was one thing; being alone in a hotel room with two large, handsome men was something else. It had been so long since she’d flirted, always holding back her feelings—out of fear and guilt. She’d stopped denying her attraction to Jakob to herself a year ago, but given his role as her bodyguard, she hadn’t allowed herself to act on it.
After all, what if he didn’t feel the same?
For the foreseeable future, his life was tied to hers. He’d done so much for her, she simply couldn’t bear the thought of making him uncomfortable. Wasn’t it enough that he’d given up countless nights, remaining with her, keeping her safe?
Jakob had never once complained, so selfless, giving, wonderful.
The stalker had taken so much from her. Not only had he stolen her convictions, her instincts that had made her a good profiler, he’d also robbed her of her confidence as a woman.
Before her life had imploded, she’d taken more than a few lovers to her bed. She’d enjoyed the physical as well as the emotional aspects of attraction and desire.
Given her membership in the Masters’ Admiralty, she’d kept her affairs short, not wanting to give any of her former lovers the wrong idea about a possible future between them. Her spouses weren’t hers to choose, but while she was single, she’d very much enjoyed the flirtatious dance prior to inviting a man home with her for a night, maybe more.
It had been years since she’d let herself go, let herself truly feel anything real, hopeful, sensual. Today with Walt and Jakob, it was as if she’d found Annalise again. And she realized how much she’d missed her.
Walt put a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped, so lost in her thoughts about them, she wasn’t paying attention to them.
His palm slid down her arm, fingertips stroking the sensitive skin of her palm before he took her hand in his.
Slowly, Walt raised their joined hands and kissed her fingers. It was a dry, closemouthed kiss that shouldn’t have made her feel such intense desire. He parted his lips, placing a damp, openmouthed kiss first on the back of her hand, and then on the inside of her wrist.
When he did, she realized the desire she’d been feeling was only a pale shadow of what desire could be. It had been so long.
God…so long.
She looked up from Walt’s bent head, her gaze colliding with Jakob’s. His jaw was clenched, his eyes bright with a feeling that—despite how well she knew him—she could not name.
But then again, did she know him?
She’d never even been to his house before this week, and that experience had been eye-opening. Seeing his home was what had provoked her feelings of hope today. Because it had been the first indication—God, please let it be an indication—that her feelings were not one-sided. That house…it was too perfect to be a coincidence. But was it conceited of her to think that Jakob had redecorated with her in mind?
Walt straightened. “Annalise, I want to make sure I’m not reading this situation wrong.”
“What is it you think the situation is?” she asked awkwardly, losing some of her fluency in English as desire muddled her brain.
The corner of Walt’s mouth kicked up. “No. I don’t think so. I want to hear you say it.”
“Say that I want you?” Annalise shook her head at herself, acknowledging that she was avoiding giving a direct answer by framing it as a question, then she paused and gave in. The old Annalise had been drawn out of her hiding spot and the woman refused to hide, to cower again.
Walt remained quiet, waiting for the answer he wanted.
She gave it to him because she was tired of lying. Not to him—their acquaintance was too short. But to herself. “Yes,” she admitted. “I do. I want you very badly.”
Over Walt’s shoulder, she saw Jakob turn his head away, his eyes closing briefly.
Stupid, imprecise language. English, unlike German, seemed to lack a clear plural form for the word you.
Before she could clarify, Walt grinned and slid an arm around her waist, pulling her against his body.
His chest was hard, his arms tight with muscle, and she was fairly certain his cock was at least semi-erect.
Walt lowered his head, and Annalise closed her eyes the moment before his lips touched hers. The kiss started out soft, just the press of dry lips. When she rose onto the balls of her feet and tipped her head to change the angle, that seemed to be the signal Walt was waiting for. His lips parted, his tongue stroking her bottom lip.
Annalise moaned and threw her arms around his neck. His tongue swept into her mouth, and she flicked it with her own. Felt him jerk in response. Her breasts felt heavy against his chest, her lower body already tight and tense.
Walt broke the kiss, breathing a little faster than before. “Wanna take this to the couch, sweetheart?”
“Or up against the wall,” Annalise said. She’d always liked being fucked against the wall.
Walt blinked. “Damn, girl. I like it.”
“You sound very American right now.” Since it appeared Walt wasn’t going to fuck her against the wall, she stepped back, grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the couch. Walt grinned and let her push him down, then stretched his long arms out along the back of the couch when she climbed on top.
Now that she had Walt where she wanted him…
Annalise glanced over at Jakob, ready to invite him over, but the look on his face stopped the words in her throat.
He looked heartbroken. Did he think she didn’t want him?
“Jakob—”
“No.” His voice was hard, and her heart froze. “No,” he said again. “Do not make me watch.”
Annalise’s frozen heart broke. God, every frozen thing inside her burst into flames.
He wanted her.
“Jakob…” she said, no longer afraid of what she wanted, what she felt. She could sing an entire aria if someone asked, and she couldn’t sing. “Come here.”
“Hey, man, I thought we were all going to make out,” Walt added.
Jakob stiffened but didn’t look at them.
Annalise slid off Walt’s lap. “Jakob.”
The doubt and self-loathing that had been her near constant companions, though buried under her guilt and feelings of inadequacy, rose up once more. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Jakob didn’t want her. Maybe he was disgusted by her, and that was why he didn’t want to see her with Walt.
Annalise retreated, the happiness she’d felt only seconds earlier evaporating as tears tightened her throat. She backed up, nearly stumbling over the low table.
Walt shot to his feet and grabbed her elbow, stopping her from falling. He looked back and forth between her and Jakob, then sighed.
He took Annalise’s shoulders and turned her, pushing her to sit on the far end of the couch. Then he marched across the room and grabbed Jakob, who, to Annalise’s shock, allowed himself to be dragged.
Walt shoved him down onto the other end of the couch, a cushion and too many unspoken words, separating them.
Walt moved a chair around so he could face both of them. “All right, you two, it’s time for a come to Jesus meeting.”
“A what?” Annalise asked, utterly confused.
“Time to put your cards on the table. Put up or shut up.” Walt’s lips twitched, and he winked. “I’m saying it’s time to have a very frank and honest conversation about your relationship.”
“We don’t have a relationship,” Annalise said softly. “I am the reason Jakob has no time for himself. I am just the…the coward who needs protecting. A burden.” Every word she spoke felt like a dagger through the heart of the old Annalise, the one she thought she’d rediscovered. She wasn’t certain she’d ever felt heartbreak until this very moment.
“No.” Jakob’s single word was hard and fierce. “You are not a burden. Not a coward.�
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“But I am. Objectively, I—”
“I protect you, take care of you, because I love you.”
Annalise’s breath caught.
Walt blinked. “Well, that escalated quickly.”
“Jakob, you…” Annalise didn’t know what to say.
“You remodeled, decorated that house for her, didn’t you?” Walt asked.
Jakob nodded.
“I knew it!”
Jakob looked up and glared at Walt.
Annalise scooted over, reaching out to touch Jakob, but he shot to his feet, moving away from her. She pulled her hand back, utterly confused.
“I am no better than your stalker,” Jakob said. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Annalise. You consume my every waking moment. I stay close to you, protect you, because I can’t imagine a world where you don’t exist. I love the way your hair curls over your shoulders when you undo your bun at the end of the day and the way your forehead crinkles right here,” he pointed to a spot between his brows, “whenever you’re working on something difficult, something troubling. Walt’s correct. I built that house for you because I wanted you to live in a place that didn’t feel like a cage but rather a home. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted in life, until I met you. I would dedicate my life to making you happy, to making you smile, but I know…I can’t help…” Jakob swallowed hard. “I’m like him.”
“Wait. Stop.” Annalise didn’t know how to reply because she hated his comparison. How could he believe that he was no better than her stalker? How could he truly think that?
Regardless, it was quite a speech from Jakob. It was more honest than even their late-night chats on her couch, the conversations that had made her fall in love with the real Jakob, the man whom no one else saw.
He loved her, but he didn’t trust her.
“You are not like my stalker,” she said.
“I am. I invaded your privacy—”
“To protect me.”
“—I used what you told me to—”
“—build my dream house. That’s not—”