She mumbled some response, then her rapid steps echoed in the hall. All he wanted was to wrap her in his arms, hold her close. He’d help her forget the family who’d let her down. Pushing one hand through his hair, he leaned against the doorframe. Breathed in, and out. Calmed the hell down. No need to freak her out any further.
The lock clicked and the door opened a crack, revealing one side of Sinead’s face. Red, blotchy skin and a tear-swollen eye staring out at him, startled and wary. Still beautiful, but he didn’t want to see her scared and defeated expression. Never again.
“It’s all right now.” He reached out and sighed with relief as she flung the door open and fell into his arms. Sinking into him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Her words were muffled against his skin.
He made reassuring noises, running his hands up and down her back, soothing the tension he found there. Without another word, he bent and picked her up, one hand braced under her knees. He walked them inside and banged the door closed behind them. In his arms, she snuggled into his chest as he took the stairs two at a time. All he wanted was to absorb some of her pain, take it on so she didn’t have to deal with it.
When they entered her flat, he swivelled around. There was a blank spot where the TV should have been. But he kept walking, right into Sinead’s bedroom, only stopping when he deposited her softly on her pillow. He made sure she was lying comfortably, then sat on the edge of the bed. He’d imagined seeing her in bed tonight, but not like this.
Gabriel stroked his hand across her tear-stained cheek, as she stared up at him. She was shivering. She looked too vulnerable. He wanted to stay and look after her, but he had to ask.
“Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?”
“Yes, please stay.” She patted the space next to her in the bed with her right hand.
He nodded, kicked off his shoes, and lay down beside her. He pulled the covers up over them. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he soaked up her softness, her rose-petal scent.
She went still. Her grey eyes held storm clouds. “I can’t believe she did it. Bridie was the only one who was on my side. My family … They’re basically arseholes.” She squirmed as she spoke, shaking her head.
“Do you want to talk about them? Your family?”
His hand had travelled under the quilt, and he stroked her stomach in small circles over her shirt. He wanted to be there for her, as he wished he’d had someone to support him over the last few years.
Sinead breathed out slowly before she spoke. “When I was growing up there were only two paths to choose. You could work hard for little pay, raise a family, and live a simple life. It could’ve been my life story, once upon a time. Or, you could learn a few tricks, get by using other means. My family, my big brothers, they learned quite a few tricks. Petty criminals, I guess you’d say. People who get sucked into the life, they don’t want anyone else to get out. Some of the men don’t like women who speak their mind either.”
A tick in his jaw went crazy, but he clamped it down, clenching his teeth. “Is this why you left home?” He didn’t want to push, but wanted to know what happened.
“Aye, along with an ex who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He wanted to get married and have a bunch of kids. I wanted to see the world, go to university. It wasn’t a happy goodbye. My family sided with my ex-boyfriend, all except Bridie. She always supported me.”
He frowned, propping himself up on his elbow to look at her. “What do you mean, your family sided with your ex? They wanted you to marry him?”
A grim expression marred her usual beauty, her mouth a straight line. Gabriel didn’t claim to understand the dynamics of a big family, but he was pretty sure supporting your family members, having each other’s backs, was part of the deal.
“They expected me to marry him. Anything less would shame the family. I lived with him, you see? My family, especially my Ma, they’re old-fashioned. I was living in sin, so I had to be married. The fact he was treating me badly was of no concern to them. I expected more. So I left.”
Gabriel’s hand stilled on Sinead’s waist and he shivered at the flat, resigned tone of her voice. There was more to the story and got the feeling he wasn’t going to like it. He hated the whole story already.
“What do you mean, he was treating you badly?” His words came out slow and cold. He dreaded the question, let alone her answer.
“At the beginning he was sweet, taking me out to dinner, buying me flowers and wooing me in front of my family. They all loved him, especially Ma. He’s handsome, a smooth talker. He had us all believing he was a good man. Of course he’s best friends with my big brother Eamon and a local legend in the neighbourhood, being a Gaelic footballer. I thought I’d found a good match, even if I wasn’t ready to settle down forever.” She paused, taking a deep breath. Her body trembled. He squeezed her tighter.
“After a few months it all changed. He talked to me like I was nothing. Someone to be ordered around, to do his bidding. He told me what to wear, who I could see and what time to get home. Once we moved in together it was worse. He expected his favourite dinners to be ready for him when he got home and if the house wasn’t perfect, he’d get angry. He drank too much and he had a wild temper.” She lay still and squeezed her eyes shut. She was running out of steam. He hoped so. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear any more.
“You don’t have to tell me. If you don’t want to talk, I understand.”
“He wanted me to get pregnant but I wouldn’t. I kept taking the pill. By this stage, I was trying to work out how to leave. He wanted sex all the time and I didn’t. At all. I encouraged him to drink more so he’d pass out early of an evening.”
Gabriel’s anger simmered low like a pot on a slow boil. He stroked her arm but her face was hidden away in the sheets.
“One night he came home in a rage because he’d heard someone say I was going to college. I was waitressing, taking language classes too, learning French and German. I wanted to be a flight attendant and it was the first step. He yelled so much and threw a bottle against the wall, but I still didn’t expect it when he hit me.”
Leaning over, he searched her face. “No, Irish. Tell me he didn’t hurt you, or I’ll have to track the bastard down.”
Anger seethed under his skin like poison, but he pushed it down. Another angry man was the last thing Sinead needed. So he pulled her close to his body and kissed her temple.
“He hurt me, in more ways than one. But he only hit me once. He punched me right in the face, so hard, he fell back into the wall and hit his head. So I ran. I wasn’t so stupid to hang around for more. I went straight to Ma. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she opened the door to me. It wasn’t welcoming.”
“You were not stupid. You trusted him. The man should have cherished you and known what a wonderful woman he had in you. Instead he hurt you. It’s not how a real man treats a woman, any woman. Especially a woman he’s supposed to love, who he wants to marry.”
Emotions crashed through him, pounding, sweaty fear and red-hot rage. A possessive streak took over. Sinead would be his, to cherish and protect. She was as vital to him as the blood in his veins. The pain in his gut was real, slicing through him with the idea of a man forcing himself on her, hurting her in any way. He wouldn’t stand for it.
No one would hurt the woman he loved.
I love her.
His stomach clenched and blood roared through his ears. He loved Sinead. A few weeks ago the concept of loving any woman would’ve been laughable, but not now. He definitely wasn’t laughing, but he was content lying next to Sinead, holding her. Content. Another word he’d never associated with himself.
They’d both gone quiet. Sinead was completely still, but her body was taut, tension radiating from her every cell. He wanted to make it better. Make her happy, heal her old hurts. If she’d let him.
“What happened with your mother?” He only wanted
her to relax, get her talking again. Instead, she flinched.
“She took one look at my black eye, and told me to go home to him. She said I’d made my bed and I’d have to lie in it. I was second-hand goods and no one else would want me. So I left for London that night.” Sinead’s body shook in his arms as her tears flowed down her face.
Gabriel went still, hardly believing what she’d said. Her own mother, sending her away. It’d been years since he could rely on his Mum, but only because of her illness. When he was a kid she’d been his rock. She’d loved him fiercely, had always wanted the best for him. He could never imagine her turning her back on him if he was in trouble.
Sinead had been hurt, in danger. She’d had no one to help or protect her. He wanted to make it right.
Kissing her temple again, he whispered into her ear. “She should never have said something so cruel. She was wrong. I want you. I want you to be with me, Sinead. Now … always.”
She rolled over to face him, wiping her eyes roughly with the back of her hand. “You don’t have to say so.”
“It’s true. I’ve never said as much to another woman. But I want you and I need you, so damned much.” He wasn’t sure what to expect, suddenly nervous, holding onto the woman who had come to mean everything to him.
“Oh, Gabriel, I feel the same way. Kiss me? Please?”
The pleading in her voice and the way her lower lip trembled nearly undid him. He leaned over her and touched the silky skin of her cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb.
Then he kissed her, gently at first. Pressing his mouth to hers, he sighed as she parted her lips for him. Taking his time, he slid his tongue against hers, tasting her, roses and something else, sweet and intoxicating. Shifting his body so he pressed against her, he relished her fingertips gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer.
She was his, only his. So beautiful and brave. The only woman he wanted by his side. He’d show her exactly what she meant to him. Even if it couldn’t be forever. Damn, he wished it could be forever.
The light filtering through the partially open curtains was soft, but it pierced her puffy eyes as she opened them. Gradually Sinead adjusted, both to the light and to Gabriel’s presence. He was wrapped around her, and they were both naked in her bed. Warmth flooded her body as it came flooding back. The way he’d made love to her. So careful, so tender.
He loves me.
He hadn’t said those exact words, not yet, but it was in every touch. The way he’d caressed her, stroked her skin. She trembled again, thinking about it. He’d whispered into her ear as he touched her. Words of comfort, then dirtier words. She loved those too. She loved all of him.
All of him seemed to be waking up now. He stirred beside her, his arm tightening possessively on her waist and his hardness against her hip. Relishing the way he squeezed her and pressed his lips to her shoulder, she snuggled against him.
She was so glad he’d been with her last night. When she thought of what Bridie had done, it made her so sad. She hardly knew what to do about it. She couldn’t call the cops on her own sister, and she couldn’t think straight anyway.
What would she have done if Gabriel had been back home in Melbourne?
Why think of it now? When she was feeling so warm and content. So safe. She had to go and think of him leaving, going on with his life on the other side of the world. His life without her.
Gabriel shifted, kissing the slope of her shoulder. “I love these freckles, right here.”
He tucked his chin into the crook of her neck. It was such a sweet gesture, her heart fluttered and danced like a rose petal dropping to earth in a spring breeze. But then it came crashing down with a thud.
“What’s wrong?” Gabriel asked, then stroked her waist, causing her to shiver.
“When do you have to go back to Melbourne?”
He breathed out, no doubt understanding her tension. “A couple of days. I’ve been checking in with my mum’s carers. She’s okay, but I don’t want to be away too much longer.”
The ‘where is this relationship going’ question hovered on the tip of her tongue. But she chickened out of asking the big question and settled for a smaller one. “Do you want me to visit you in Melbourne?”
“I’d love you to, I want to keep seeing you. Are you flying to Melbourne soon?”
The nervousness in his voice surprised her, but he could have been worried about the future too.
She nodded against his hair. “I’m flying in on Monday and I’ll have forty-eight hours downtime in Melbourne. I’ll be tired after the flight, but do you want to get together?”
“More than anything. I wish we could stay here together, like this.” He squeezed her tighter, then moved his hand to cup her breast.
She gasped, closing her eyes against the sparks of pleasure flooding her body. Her mood instantly improved. All she could think about was the way he touched her.
Gabriel’s fingertip circled her already taut nipple, sending white-hot shards of pure desire through her system. “You’re so beautiful, Sinead. So sweet. I don’t want to let you go. I want us to be together. I know it’s early days, but is that what you want?”
“Yes.” The word was a sigh against her lips, as she melted under his touch. “I want to be with you too. But it would be a long-distance relationship. Could we make it work?”
“We’ll try. You’ll visit me, I’ll visit you. We can travel together. I want to make it work. Make it perfect.”
She didn’t think he was only talking about their travel schedules. His fingers were doing amazing travelling of their own, heading south, down the curve of her belly. When those clever fingers trailed lower still, she sucked in a sharp breath and all thoughts fled.
Only later, she realised he’d been trying to distract her. Whether it was to head-off any more relationship talk, or to stop her thinking about what her sister had done, she wasn’t sure. No matter, it was her favourite form of distraction.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Later that day, Sinead stood in the Mermaid staff lounge at Heathrow, stuffing her gear in her locker, preparing to board a flight to Amsterdam. It was a short trip, an easy job for a Friday. No big deal. Her phone pinged in her hand.
The text message from Bridie startled her so badly, Sinead had to read it twice to glean any meaning from it.
Sinead, I’m sorry. Didn’t want to take ur stuff. Paddy made me do it. I was seeing him b4 I came to visit. Can’t talk now, but soon. B.
Bridie had apologised, but it didn’t give her any comfort. The rest of the message was too awful.
Paddy. Sinead’s ex, Padraig. The name jumped out from among the letters on her phone’s screen. Shaking, her legs dissolved. The world washed away behind her swimmy eyes. She sank into a hideous orange vinyl chair.
Bridie was seeing him? It was too revolting to contemplate. He could’ve even been with Bridie in London, ordering her around. Being a manipulative bastard, telling Bridie how to hurt Sinead.
He might’ve been inside Sinead’s flat. Her mind jumped to the underwear missing from her drawer a couple of weeks ago. She’d assumed she had left a few items in a hotel by mistake, but what if he’d broken in before and stolen her personal things? Like that day, years ago in her first London flat. Her ground-floor bedroom window had been open, her underwear scattered across the bed. A note scrawled in angry red writing on a page torn from her diary: I found you. You can’t run from me.
She’d been terrified. And she had run, or flown away. Far away, to the other side of the world. The transfer with the airline seemed like a good idea at the time. Not that it made a difference. Whenever she’d moved, he’d found her anyway.
Earlier, she’d said she was fine to work today. But Bridie’s text, the implications, had sent her mind and body reeling. If Padraig wanted to hurt her, he’d find a way. If he knew about Gabriel, he’d target him too. Saliva pooled in her mouth, a sure sign she’d vomit.
Grabbing her phone again, she punched out a text to he
r supervisor, calling in sick. She apologised for the short notice, but hoped he’d understand. She’d been robbed. She wasn’t feeling safe or ready to work. Wasn’t it the truth?
Her supervisor responded, told her he’d find a replacement from the stand-by crew.
Clutching her metallic water bottle, she swallowed about a river’s worth. She had to talk to Gabriel. He’d been sure the shock of being robbed was still too raw, had insisted she was in no fit state to work.
She’d suspected Gabriel was keen on staying in bed with her all morning. Brilliant idea, but she didn’t want to set up an unrealistic expectation for herself. It wouldn’t always be like this. Lazy nights of lovemaking, followed by even lazier mornings, kissing and touching, sharing breakfast in bed.
If only she could go back in time and tell Gabriel she loved him. Her heart pounded and she bit her lip. If she went to him, she could be putting him in danger. He’d never want her now, not when he understood how messed up her life was. She’d spent the last few years running, never admitting what she was doing. But she needed someone’s help. She wanted it to be him.
With a mind full of her sister and her evil ex-boyfriend, she took a deep breath and planned her next move. She had to think of Bridie. The way Bridie had treated Sinead now took a backseat to the possible danger to her sister.
Sinead had never confided in her sister about the full extent of Padraig’s controlling ways or what happened the night she left Dublin. Bridie must have heard something from their mother, but no doubt Ma had painted an unflattering picture of Sinead’s actions, leaving Padraig as the golden boy.
She wasn’t sure if it was wise to send Bridie a message, in case she was with Padraig. But she had to do something.
Pressing her phone to her ear, she called Bridie but wasn’t surprised when it went straight to voicemail. Sinead didn’t mess around with her message – she wanted to make sure Bridie heard her warning loud and clear.
The words came out in a gush. “Bridie, listen to me. I’m not angry with you, not anymore. But promise me something. Don’t go anywhere alone with Padraig. Stay where there are other people. He’s a drunk and a thug – he hit me once. I’m scared he’ll do it to you. He’s been stalking me. I should have told you the whole story before. I’m so sorry. Call me as soon as you can. Let me know you’re all right.” Her hands shook as she ended the call.
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