Angel: A Linear Tactical Romantic Suspense Standalone

by Janie Crouch

  “Did you do your initial training at San Clemente Island?”

  “Yes, for some of BUD/S. You’ve heard of it?” He caught up so he was next to her.

  She definitely wasn’t bringing up that she’d researched the Navy SEALs after Violet had mentioned he used to be one. But she could redirect him with a different truth.

  “I did a little research of the military back in high school. Thought that was the route I would go. Not a Navy SEAL, of course.”

  “Really, you wanted to go into the military? Why? Which branch?”

  “The Army, for the usual reasons, I guess. Didn’t have a clear grasp of what I wanted to study and no way to pay for college even if I did. And I wanted to travel, see the world. And because . . .”

  Shit. This conversation had its own pitfalls. She would’ve been better off telling him she’d researched SEALs because she thought they were hot.

  “Because what?”

  “Never mind.” She shook her head and walked faster.

  He just lengthened his own stride. “No, tell me. What made you want to join the army rather than one of the other branches?”

  She shrugged. “Because Zac Mackay and Finn Bollinger went into the army. All of us younger kids looked up to them so much; they were basically the town heroes.”

  And then while Zac was away serving his country, she’d gone and killed his wife and kid.

  She hadn’t even realized she’d wrapped her arms around her middle until she felt his fingers trailing over her arms.

  “Hey.” He stopped walking and gripped her arm, stopping her too. “I know there are no magic words that make all of this better. What happened was a tragedy. But not just for the Mackay family, Rainfall. For you, too.”

  She just shrugged. What could she say?

  “I don’t know a lot about you, but I know that you would never have done that on purpose. It was an accident.”

  She stared at the ground. “Labeling it an accident doesn’t bring Becky or little Micah back.”

  His fingers traced gentle circles on her arm. “No, it doesn’t. But you served your time for what happened. Probably more than you should have. At some point, you’ve got to forgive yourself. It’s always going to be part of you, but it doesn’t have to be the defining part of you.”

  “The group therapist I was required to see while I was in jail basically said the same thing.” But the words had sounded so different coming from her. “But she didn’t . . .” she trailed off.

  “She didn’t what?”

  Jordan shrugged again. He was still rubbing those light circles on her arm, both distracting and comforting. “I don’t know. I just never felt like she knew what she was talking about. Like it was just something from a book or a class she’d taken.”

  “I’m not sure someone who’s never taken a life can truly understand. Sympathize, yes. But not empathize.”

  She looked up into his face, finding nothing but compassion centered in strength.

  “Have you taken a life?”

  He nodded. “Yes. More than one.”

  “But it was different. You were supposed to. You were on missions, and they were your enemies.”

  He trailed a finger slowly down her cheek. “Not always, Rainfall. We tried our damnedest to make sure innocent people didn’t get hurt, but that’s not how the real world works. Shit happens. The bad guys get away, and normal people just living their normal lives get caught in the crossfire. I may not have done time for it, but I know what it’s like to live with the knowledge that my judgment call caused the death of someone innocent. Calling it an accident, or in the military’s case friendly fire, doesn’t make those people any less dead.”

  She reached up and grasped the wrist of his hand that was now cupping her cheek. There were demons in his green eyes, and for the first time, someone truly understood the pain that ate at her heart every day.

  She was about to reassure him, but he continued speaking before she could. “You want to tell me that it’s not my fault. Same.” He tapped her on the forehead with a finger. “Intent does matter. You never intended to hurt Micah or Becky Mackay. And you’re right, you’ll have to carry it forever. Nobody can carry it for you. But don’t let it define you, Rainfall. Zac would be the first person to tell you that. You’re so much more than a single mistake.”

  She closed her eyes, just soaking in his words.

  Maybe. Maybe.

  He kissed her forehead. “Now, are we going to get to this secret spot anytime soon or am I going to die of hunger?”

  She grinned up at him as they started walking again. The fact that he’d taken hold of her hand and hadn’t let go was not lost on her. “Good thing you decided to be a Navy SEAL. You obviously never could have hacked it in the army with your delicate disposition.”

  With those words, she took off running as he laughed behind her.

  “Oh, you are in so much trouble now.”

  She ran for a few more seconds, then stopped when she got to where she’d been leading them. He rushed up behind her, whatever he been about to say lost as he looked around.

  This was one of her favorite places on Earth. The path that had been surrounded by trees all the way from her house opened up to a tiny meadow that looked down on a creek. Her parents had built a picnic table out here before Mom had died.

  “Wow. Look at this place,” Gabriel whispered, setting the sandwich and beer on the table.

  Jordan smiled, looking around. “This was one of my mother’s favorite places.”

  “And your dad’s? It’s okay to talk about him too, you know. What he did was wrong, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have other memories of him.”

  She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Dad was never one for the outdoors.”

  “Has he ever tried to get in touch with you?”

  She walked over to the picnic table and began unwrapping the sandwich, mostly just to give herself something to do. “No. Never.”

  Honestly, she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to at this point. She didn’t want to be responsible for the burden of knowing where he was. But on the other hand, he was the only family she had left.

  Gabriel opened two beers and handed one to her. “Thank you for sharing this beautiful place with me.” He held his beer up in a salute, and they both drank.

  As they ate, the conversation turned much lighter. He kept her entertained with funny stories from his navy days and how he’d travelled all over the world.

  “Where was your favorite place? I would love to travel someday. And no need to make any cracks about how I can’t leave the state of Wyoming.”

  He winced. “That was such a shitty thing to say. I’m sorry.”

  “Eh. It won’t always be true. So where were some of your favorite places?”

  They finished the sandwich, stuffing their trash back into the bag as he told her about places he’d been. Spain. Germany. England. Italy. They climbed up to sit on top of the picnic table, looking down at the creek.

  “I loved Morocco. Marrakesh’s Jemaa el-Fnaa market at night is a sight to behold. Santorini, Greece, with the ridiculously blue waters of the Mediterranean? I still dream about that.”

  Jordan shifted her weight, lying back on her elbows on top of the table, closing her eyes. “I can just picture it. I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to the Mediterranean, but I’ll settle for just the Pacific Ocean. I want to go to the Santa Monica Pier.”

  He chuckled, but she didn’t open her eyes. “That place is a tourist trap, you know.”

  She made a sour face, sticking her tongue out at him. “I don’t care. I want to be a tourist.”

  When he spoke again his voice was much closer to her ear. “If you keep doing stuff to draw my attention to your lips, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kiss you again.”

  She opened one eye and looked over at him. “You mean like stick my tongue out at you?”

  “Yeah, and all that other stuff you do.”

  “What other stuff?”
She hadn’t been deliberately trying to get his attention, although she had to admit it didn’t upset her that she had.

  “Really obvious stuff.” His voice got deeper, and she could feel the heat of his breath on her ear. “Like talking and breathing.”

  “I’ll try to keep my hussy instincts in check.”

  Now his lips were nuzzling at the side of her neck. “Please, not on my account.”

  She couldn’t hold back the little gasp that escaped her as his nuzzling became nibbling.

  “Gabriel.” His name came out as an entreaty. She didn’t even know what she was asking for. More? Less?

  His hand threaded through her hair, tilting her head; giving him better access to her throat. “I love that you say my full name.”

  “It’s an angel’s name.”

  He bit gently at the spot where her neck met her shoulders. She couldn’t hold back her shudder as sensation flooded her system. “I’m no angel, Rainfall.”

  Maybe not. But at least he didn’t treat her like she was a demon.

  His lips and teeth continued their nibbling onslaught along her neck. Her fingers threaded into his soft brown hair, pulling him closer. When his hand slipped under her blouse at the waist, she didn’t even think about stopping him.

  Or the moan that fell from her lips as his hand worked its way up to cup her breast, thumb flicking across one hardened nipple, before moving her bra to the side.

  God, she’d had no idea her body could feel this way—like electrical currents were pulsing just under her skin.

  His lips made their way up her neck until they were against hers, nibbling, nudging them open.

  As soon as she did, his tongue thrust deep into her mouth, and she jerked against him. They were half sprawled on the table, and all she could think about was that she wanted him closer. Her leg shifted, moving to hook around his thighs, pulling him toward her. With a groan, he gave way to her silent demand, leaning more of his weight on top of her, pushing her back onto the table.

  When his mouth found hers again, the knot of need inside grew until it was a tangled mess threatening to consume her. Her body ached deliciously as his mouth dominated hers. And his hands—those very talented hands—had her gasping, then moaning as he toyed with her breasts, alternating between soft touches and nips of pain. She scratched her nails along his chest and loved the heartfelt groan that escaped his lips.

  She wanted him. Wanted to touch his naked skin. Wanted him to touch hers.

  When the hand on her breast slid down over her belly, then lower, down her hip, over her skirt until it was resting on her naked thigh, electricity bolted through her system again.

  “I think I forgot to mention how much I like this skirt. I’ve never seen you in one before,” he said against her mouth.

  “It’s new.”

  His tongue licked along her lower lip as his fingers inched their way up her leg. She opened her eyes to find him watching her face as his hand reached the juncture of her thighs, cupping her through her underwear. Rubbing along her slit.

  If she hadn’t been tangled up with him, she would’ve flown off the table. She couldn’t stop her gasping moan.

  “God, that sound is so sexy.”

  His lips were back on hers the next second. She was going to say something but was distracted as his tongue slipped deeper.

  Thrusting deep into her mouth. No matter her lack of experience, there was no mistaking the actions his tongue was mimicking.

  She needed to tell him she’d never done anything like this before. That she wasn’t on birth control. That she had no idea what she was doing.

  But God, she didn’t want him to stop. Didn’t want him to pull away as she told him, cutting off this heat between them.

  Even worse, she didn’t want him looking at her with pity because she was a twenty-three-year-old virgin. Not just a virgin, but someone with hardly any experience at all.

  But it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to find out anyway.

  “Gabriel . . .” She finally got the word out as his lips moved away from her mouth to kiss down her jaw again.

  He groaned, the sound deep. “I know, Rainfall. We can’t do this here. Believe it or not, I hadn’t planned on this happening. So unless that six pack comes with a condom . . .”

  She smiled even though the thought of stopping made her want to cry. “That would probably be a really good idea, wouldn’t it?”

  His eyes zoomed in on her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. She shifted her hips restlessly, the need inside her almost a physical pain. His fingers trailing up and down her upper thigh were not helping.

  “You okay, Rainfall?”

  “Yeah. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She smiled at him although it was pained.

  “No?” Those green eyes studied her. “I think I do.”

  “What?”

  She swallowed a protest as he slid his torso off hers. When she started to sit up, he put his hand on the middle of her chest and pushed her back down until she was lying flat on the table.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You stay right there.” He sat up, moving his hand from her chest, fingers trailing over her nipples as he did so. He stood and gently repositioned her so her body was fully on the table, and her legs were resting on the bench.

  “I’m still feeling a little hungry.” His voice was deep, gritty, as he slid his fingers up the outside of her thighs, bringing her skirt up with them until it pooled at her hips.

  Her breath sawed in and out of her chest. She could feel him looking at her there. “I-I don’t think we have anything else to eat.”

  “Oh, I think I’ve found something.”

  Streaks of heat spiraled through her as Gabriel’s fingers skimmed up her legs to her hips, gripping her underwear and pulling them gently down her legs.

  Instinct had her trying to press her legs together, but he kissed her knees.

  “Open for me, Rainfall. I’ve got to taste you.”

  Just what he’d said when he’d kissed her that first night on her porch. She’d opened for him then, and she opened for him now.

  His lips worked their way up her thighs as he opened her legs wide and sat on the bench between them.

  She should be embarrassed, laid out like she was on a picnic table. But his tortured “so damn gorgeous” reassured her. She relaxed, opening her eyes to look up at the darkening Wyoming sky, giving herself over to him.

  “That’s right, Rainfall. You just feel.”

  He slid a gentle hand under first one knee, then the other, hooking her legs over his wide shoulders. Before she could find anything else to be worried about, his lips were on her core. She nearly shot off the table—would have if he hadn’t snaked one of his arms under her legs to pin her down with his big hand spread out on her navel—as he licked her from top to bottom.

  “Oh my God, Gabriel!” Her scream was a whisper, no less intense because of the lack of volume, as his tongue kept a steady pressure against her.

  When his fingers joined the onslaught, she couldn’t breathe for the pleasure. Her back arched off the table as one rough finger moved inside her, thrusting in and out gently at first, then pumping harder as his thumb and tongue took turns teasing her clit.

  He knew just what she needed, working her expertly until that knot of need grew and tightened unbearably.

  And then finally burst.

  Jordan’s toes curled and her fingernails grabbed at the table beneath her as her body exploded. Gabriel continued to lap at her, stroking her as the orgasm tore through her body, until she finally lay exhausted and boneless, her legs limp around his shoulders.

  She’d had no idea it could be like that. That anything could be like that.

  When she finally had enough strength to lift her head, she glanced down at Gabriel, still trailing his fingers up and down her leg, dark head resting against her inner thigh.

  He smiled up at her. “I’m never going to think of a picnic the same way again.”
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  Chapter 7

  Her blush at his words might be the sweetest thing Gabe had ever seen, but the words were nothing short of the truth. Her sprawled out on the picnic table in her sassy little skirt, face flushed from an orgasm, would play front and center in his dreams for a long time.

  The temptation to make her come again just so he could hear those breathy little cries was almost more than he could resist.

  He would’ve laughed a little at how dazed she looked if he wasn’t afraid of overwhelming her. Because she very much looked like she was having a hard time comprehending what had just happened.

  Hell, he was having a hard time comprehending what had just happened. But he planned on it happening again soon.

  The taste of her, the smell of her, was damn near addicting.

  Of course, none of the reasons he shouldn’t be with her had changed. She was still too young, still worked for his sister, and still wore trouble like it was her coat of arms. But as he sat up on the table and pulled her into his lap—her body still shuddering every once in a while—he knew he didn’t care about any of those things.

  She didn’t say anything at all as he continued to hold her. That was fine. The fact that she was burrowed so deeply in his arms was enough for him.

  It was only as it was truly getting dark that she finally began to move away.

  She didn’t look at him as she grabbed the trash bag. “I guess we need to head back before it gets too dark. I think I can find my way with no light, but it’s been a long time since I’ve tried.

  He stopped her hands from their frantic gathering and tilted a finger under her chin so he could see her face in the dimming light. She immediately flushed and looked away. “You okay?”

  She looked everywhere but in his eyes. “Yeah.” She laughed, but it was obviously stilted. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

  “You seem a little embarrassed.”

  “I just never knew it could be like that. And I guess I am a little embarrassed by my overexuberance. Plus, it couldn’t have been much fun for you, since, you know . . .”

  He picked her up by the waist and set her on the table. “First of all, if I have my head between your legs and you’re not exuberant enough to scare away nearby animals, then I’m doing something very wrong.”