Rayne nodded her head, grateful for the advice. “Got it. Helmet hair is bad.”
She turned around and watched as Garrett drove up and parked right in front of the porch. She felt her heart stutter in her chest as she watched him climb off the motorcycle and slip his helmet off. He was dressed a lot like her, in jeans, dark boots and a black leather jacket. He looked dangerous and gorgeous all at the same time.
And he was all hers.
She grinned down at him and lifted her hands to her side as she twirled around. “What do you think? Will I do?”
Garrett smiled slowly at her, his eyes warming and he nodded. “You’ll do,” he said simply and held his hand out to her.
Rayne walked slowly down the steps and took Garrett’s hand as his eyes told her in a million ways that he thought she was beautiful. He looked at her quietly for a moment and then shook his head. “You’re a dream come true Rayne,” he said and then dipped down and captured her mouth in a short but intense kiss that left her slightly shaky.
“Hop on. We’re going to a fair tonight.”
Garrett mounted the bike and then waited as Rayne gingerly climbed on board. He showed her where to put her feet and then handed her the helmet. When she had trouble with the clasp, he turned around and did it for her. She caught sight of Ivy taking pictures of them and laughed. Garrett started the motorcycle and jumped down on something a few times and then the roar of the engine surrounded her and she was holding on to Garrett’s hard waist as they shot down the street.
She stared at the scenery and cars passing by in awe and a little bit of terror as she plastered herself to Garrett’s back, holding on for dear life now. After they got on the freeway and things settled down, she was able to relax her hold a little. She leaned against Garrett’s back and felt a sense of exhilaration. Ivy had to ride on a motorcycle soon. She would adore it.
Garrett got off the freeway and turned onto a small two lane highway and they rode for another half an hour. Too soon Garrett signaled and they pulled off onto another road and she saw a Ferris wheel in the distance. When Garrett had said fair, she’d automatically thought of a craft fair or an antique fair. Garrett was taking her to a real life fair with a Ferris wheel and cotton candy. She laughed happily and jumped up and down on the seat as Garrett parked his bike in a field along with other cars. He pulled his helmet off and swiveled around to smile at her.
“Excited?”
Rayne pulled her helmet off and ran her fingers through her hair remembering Cleo’s advice. “Yes! I’ve never been to a fair before,” she said before leaning over and hugging him before kissing him on the cheek. “You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
Garrett laughed at that. “That’s not saying much, but thank you.”
She jumped off the bike and grabbed Garrett’s hand, pulling him to the entrance while he laughed at her eagerness.
Garrett immediately bought her a cone of bright blue cotton candy and they held hands and walked around looking at all of the booths and games. Rayne couldn’t stop staring at everyone. She’d been to Disneyland once when she was a child, but her parents hadn’t enjoyed the experience and had never repeated it. This was something else entirely though. She stared at one of the carnival workers who wore a threadbare shirt that had the sleeves cut off. His tattoos were colorful and covered him from his wrists to his shoulders and probably beyond.
“Holy cow,” she whispered as Garrett pulled her over to the baseball throw.
“They’re called sleeves when their arms are covered like that,” Garrett said as he handed the man five dollars and picked up a baseball.
Rayne leaned her hip against the counter and looked at Garrett speculatively. “Would you um, happen to have a tattoo? I mean, you were in the Marines. Most Marines have them, right?”
Garrett grinned at her and threw a ball at a milk bottle with enough force to kill someone and she jumped in surprise. The milk bottle hadn’t stood a chance.
“It almost sounds as if you want me to have a tattoo,” he said, lifting an eyebrow at her before throwing the next ball.
Rayne winced and felt bad for the bottle for a second before she answered his question. “Let’s just say I’m intrigued. So do you?” she asked, looking over his arms and chest and wondering where he would put one.
“Is it an Eagle? Or a flag? Please tell me it’s not some naked woman in a hula skirt or something tacky,” she added, frowning at him.
Garrett threw his last ball and grinned happily. “Give me some credit, Rayne. If I happened to have a tattoo, I’m sure I’d pick something tasteful and that held deep meaning for me.”
Rayne smiled and lifted her eyebrows hopefully. “Will you show me?”
Garrett grinned as his eyes turned dark and he shook his head slowly. “I’m shocked Ms. Nyman. Asking a man to strip for your enjoyment. Really shocking.”
Rayne blushed bright red as the carnival worker laughed. “You gotta good arm on ya. Which bear you want?” he asked pointing to a selection of the biggest bears.
Garrett pointed to a large teddy bear in the corner and waited as the man handed it to him. He then held it out to her and she gasped.
“You won this for me?” she whispered, taking the large teddy bear in her arms and holding it tightly against her chest. “No one’s ever won me anything before,” she said and stared at him with large eyes.
Garrett grinned. “Just say thanks and give me a kiss. Jeez, you act like I just gave you diamonds or something.”
Rayne squeezed her teddy bear and sighed happily. “I have plenty of diamonds. This is way better. Trust me,” she said before leaning up and kissing him loudly on the cheek.
Garrett looked at her as his mouth twitched in amusement before he slipped his hand around her waist and they walked around. Garrett then introduced her to funnel cakes and she knew she was going to try and get Jane to make funnel cakes at the bakery. They were divine.
When she was full he pulled over to the Ferris wheel and gave the man a few tickets. Garrett held the teddy bear in one arm as he pulled her close with his other. She hadn’t realized she was terrified of heights but they were high. She swallowed sickly and prayed she wouldn’t throw up on her first Ferris wheel ride.
“How many times do we go up?” she asked, her voice shaking as she hid her face in Garrett’s chest.
Garrett kissed her hair. “About five or six times. Just keep your eyes closed and hold onto me and I promise you’ll make it down safely.”
Rayne nodded her head jerkily and focused on breathing in and out. She could feel the wind through her hair and hear the screams of fear and excitement from the other rides down below. She tried to open her eyes but felt her stomach drop and immediately shut them again, groaning as she hid her face again in the crook of Garrett’s neck. He held her tightly and she felt him kiss her hair.
“You okay?” he asked softly as he rubbed a hand down her arm soothingly.
Rayne whimpered a little but nodded. “I’ll be okay. Just don’t let go of me.”
Garrett tilted her face up. “Kiss me and all your fears will go away. I promise.”
Rayne looked at him doubtfully but nodded her head. Anything to make the time go by faster.
“Okay, but if you’re wrong I apologize ahead of time for throwing up on you.”
Garrett laughed and leaned down slowly, tilting his head before covering her mouth with his. She immediately forgot all about the Ferris wheel and how high they were as she melted against his chest, relaxing completely. He teased her lips with his before deepening the kiss. She grasped the back of his head in her hands as the sweetness of the kiss unwound inside of her.
Ten minutes later as the ride came to a stop she opened her eyes in disappointment. “It’s already over?”
Garrett grinned. “I thought you hated Ferris wheel rides?”
Rayne looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t wait to go again.”
Garrett tilted her face up and kissed her lightly a
s they stepped off. “You are a dangerous woman. Any other rides you want to try?”
Rayne glanced around at the zipper and the roller coaster and shook her head. “I guess I’m kind of a chicken. I’d rather just sit down for a while and do a little people watching. I’ve never been around . . .” She stopped and blushed, realizing how what she was getting ready to say would sound to Garrett.
Garrett frowned and led her to a bench in the shade. “You’ve never been around normal people before? Is that what you were going to say?”
Rayne blushed feeling horrible and nodded her head. “It sounds so pompous but I’ve never been to a fair or a carnival. My parents kept our lives very controlled and separate. Do you think I’m horrible?” she asked softly staring at her hands.
Garrett sighed and slipped his arm around his shoulders. “No I don’t think you’re horrible, but Rayne, when you look at all of these people with their holey jeans that aren’t holey because they’re fashionable, but because they’re old and washed over and over again because they don’t have anything else, that’s me. I grew up very poor. My dad would take me and Asher to the Puyallup fair when we were kids and it was the highlight of our lives. What do you see when you look at these people?” he asked in a serious, quiet voice that had her looking up.
She looked around and saw a young mother holding a baby in her arms who looked no older than seventeen at the most. She saw young girls in groups wearing skimpy clothes and heavy makeup following groups of young men wearing baseball hats turned backwards and who were staring back at the girls with cocky grins. She saw a chain smoking grandmother in a motorized chair dragging her oxygen tank behind her. She watched the hard looking men working the booths, calling out to the people passing by and she wished she’d brought a camera. She also saw families like the ones she’d seen at church, smiling and laughing and just excited to be there.
“I see people, Garrett, just people. They’re different than me, but they’re not less than me. They have hopes and dreams just like I do.”
Garrett sighed and pushed her hair over her ear as he leaned closer and tilted her head so he could stare down into her eyes.
“What are your dreams, Rayne?”
Rayne couldn’t look away from Garrett’s piercing eyes and reached up to touch his cheek. “The same as everyone here. I want happiness and safety and love.”
Garrett leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in the barest of kisses. “I want those things too.”
Rayne smiled up into Garrett’s eyes. “Everyone’s dreams can be interpreted differently though. Like say, that guy over there, the one working the booth. Maybe his dream of happiness and love is a six pack of Bud and a stripper bar. How do you see your dream in your mind?” she asked smiling as he grinned at her.
“Not the stripper and the beer. Happiness to me would be seeing my business become successful. I want my brother to have financial stability. We never had that growing up and that’s my dream for us. We’re still living month to month and it would be so nice to move past that. And as far as love,” he said and paused as he looked at her carefully. “I think I’m getting a clear picture of what I want.”
Rayne frowned at the careful sidestep. “Could you ever see yourself falling in love with someone like me?” she asked slowly and carefully, knowing his answer could hurt her deeply.
Garrett reached up and smoothed the line that had appeared between her eyes as he smiled. “That’s what I love about you, Rayne. You never play games. You don’t even know how. To answer your question, yes . . . yes I can see myself falling in love with you. Mostly because I’m already well on my way,” he said quietly as he watched her.
It took a moment for the words to sink in, but when they did, she closed her eyes and covered her mouth as she laughed happily. She shook her head as Garrett peeled her fingers away, revealing a large happy grin.
“I guess that’s a good thing?” he asked with a smile in his voice.
Rayne leaned her head against Garrett’s shoulder and leaned up and kissed his cheek. “It’s the best thing. You can’t know what it’s like . . . and then to hear you say . . . ah Garrett, how in the world did I get lucky enough to look out my window and see you trying to plant pansies in my yard?”
Garrett grinned and held her close as he kissed her forehead. “So does that mean you might be thinking you could be maybe halfway to falling in love with me too?”
Rayne laughed again and held him tighter. “You’d be embarrassed if I told you the exact fraction, so I won’t do that to you, but yes. Very much so, yes,” she admitted as he laughed, his whole face lighting up and his eyes gleaming at her.
“You make me happy,” he said softly, sounding surprised.
Rayne grinned and kissed his chin. “Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work?”
Garrett gave her a half-smile and looked away at the people walking by them. “It’s supposed to work that way, but the relationships I’ve seen, there’s not a lot of happiness involved. My mom took off when I was eight and the first thing I remember thinking was, Good, now my dad won’t be so sad when she yells at him all the time. Even Asher and all of his girlfriends aren’t great. He’s the type of guy who thrives on being needed you know. He’s just a giver. So he’s drawn like a magnet to these girls who just use him and dump him. Not just once, but over and over and he never learns. He won’t see the pattern. And then there’s me.”
Rayne blinked in surprise and sat up, looking at Garrett with a frown. “What do you mean, and then there’s you?”
Garrett grimaced and shrugged lightly but then stared at her with suddenly sad eyes. “Every woman I’ve ever fallen in love with has been what you might call emotionally unavailable. My therapist says it’s because my mother never loved me and so I’m always trying to find some shadow of my mom in the women I date so I can finally prove that I am lovable. So I can finally get her to love me. It’s kind of messed up.”
Rayne licked her lips and ached for the pain she saw in Garrett’s eyes. “So I must really freak you out then, huh?”
Garrett blinked in surprise and turned to look at her curiously. “In what way?”
Rayne shook her head and ran her hand over his short, soft hair. “Because emotionally, I’m completely available to you. And because I just told you that you’re very lovable. Does that make you want to run in the opposite direction?” she asked, morbidly curious.
Garrett winced and looked down at their entwined hands. “I’ve been in therapy for a while now and being aware of my emotional patterns has gone a long way to helping me. I wouldn’t say I’m cured, but when it comes to my mom issues, I’d say I’m healed now. No Rayne, you don’t make me want to run away. But I’ll admit that I’m scared to death that you’ll wake up someday soon and figure out that you don’t belong here with me. That you belong back in San Diego, in a mansion by the water, playing your piano for the wealthy.”
Rayne sucked in air and closed her eyes. “I’m not going back, Garrett. Ivy and I want to stay here. For good.”
Garrett stared at her sadly as if he wanted to believe her. “How could I ever be enough for you? Maybe not now, but in five years when life is hard and you get sick of me, what about then? I don’t think I could survive watching you walk away.”
Rayne felt something cold wrap around her heart, taking all the pleasure and fun out of their date. “My telling you that you are more than enough will never satisfy you. You have to know you are. You’d have to have faith in yourself and in me and my feelings for you. . . if it ever came to that,” she added.
Garrett looked away, staring moodily at the Ferris wheel and was silent for a few long moments. He finally blinked and shook his head. “Well, I guess we’ll have to see how things play out. I better get you home then,” he said and stood up, holding his hand out for hers.
Rayne stared at his hand and knew that he had been too hurt as a child to offer her his heart. At least not all of it. She wondered if he’d ever be whole and
healed enough to offer her or any woman his whole heart. She smiled stiffly, feeling as brittle as glass as she took Garrett’s hand.
She was grateful that riding on the motorcycle meant that there was no need for conversation. She wouldn’t know what to say to Garrett. How could she be falling in love with a man who would constantly be looking at her as if she was heading for the door? How could she love a man who didn’t believe he was lovable? She felt a few tears slip down her cheeks and closed her eyes as they raced down the freeway.
She didn’t know the answers. All she knew, was that it was too late for her heart. She was 100% gone.
Chapter 14-Drive by
Garrett watched Rayne walk away from him and felt empty and on edge. He’d never been so open with a woman about himself and his feelings as he had been with Rayne. But opening himself up and pointing out the very real fact that not only couldn’t he trust her to love him, he couldn’t even trust her to stick around had hurt Rayne.
And he hated that.
She paused at the door as if she might turn around and wave at him, but instead took a piece of paper taped to the door and read it. He moved to put his helmet back on but stopped when he heard the faint sound of distress. She whipped around as if she was searching for a purse and then dug her phone out of her pocket. She pushed at the screen frantically as she made gasping sounds and he got off the bike and ran up the steps two at a time.
“Rayne! What’s going on?” he demanded before touching her shoulder.
It was like she’d completely forgotten his presence because she squeaked and flung herself back from him, ramming her shoulder against the door.
“Garrett! You scared me. Ivy’s been hurt. There was a drive by shooting and she was hit. Could you drive me to the hospital? They’ve been trying to call me, but being on the motorcycle was so noisy I didn’t hear,” she said, as she grasped his arms tightly.
Garrett’s eyes widened in shock but he nodded, slipping an arm around her waist and leading her back down the stairs. He quickly got on the motorcycle and waited for her to get her helmet back on before he was turning around and driving back out of the driveway. The nearest hospital was in Tacoma so he headed for the highway. Fifteen minutes later, they were rushing through the doors of the emergency room.
Falling for Rayne: Book 1 in the Love and Flowers Trilogy Page 14