Ashley smiled. Irvel would be one of the first people to find her mother, once she passed from this world to the next. They would share tea, no doubt, and talk about the joys of loving one man for all their earthly days.
A breeze sifted through the window and dried her cheeks. It would be the best day ever, a day when for just a little while longer they could all be together, the day when God in all his loving mercy would have the last word in the drama that had been her and Landon.
Lord, thank you. I know you’ll be smiling on us today; I can already feel it. Please, God, let my mother feel it, too. Take away her pain so she can enjoy every moment. You say to ask anything in your name, according to your will, and you will hear. Please, God . . .
She glanced around the room and saw it standing in the corner. The painting she’d been working on since she found out the good news about her health. In the foreground were the backs of her and Landon—she in a flowing white dress, he in a dark suit. Between them was Cole, his little-boy, towheaded look, the one he was losing a little more each day. The three of them were holding hands, walking toward a brilliant sunrise that took up most of the painting. The colors were breathtaking, bright oranges and stunning yellows, colors that represented the future they would have together.
She would give it to Landon tonight, when they were alone after the wedding. It would be one more moment to spend a lifetime remembering.
She rose to her feet, her eyes still on the brilliant blue sky. Then, as if she might burst if she didn’t take action, she sprinted into Cole’s room, threw her hands in the air, and squealed.
Cole moaned and the sound became a giggle. “Mommy, you look silly.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing?”
Ashley did a little circle dance and raised both fists into the air. “Come on, Cole, get up! We’re getting married today!”
* * *
It was the strangest thing.
Elizabeth was sitting in the chair near her bed, watching her daughters slip on their dresses, listening to their sweet conversation, and still she couldn’t get over it. Ever since she’d awakened, the pain in her body was gone. Not diminished or lessened, not that she was merely getting used to it.
Rather it was completely gone.
She was tired and weak; no doubt she’d lost more weight. That much was obvious when John helped her into her gray linen dress, the one she’d picked out sometime after her surgery. She was dressed, ready to go, but with none of the pain she’d expected to feel. She could sit there with the girls, watching them get ready for Ashley’s wedding, without feeling anything but complete joy.
Ashley was the first to ask her about it. “You look better today, Mom.”
“I am.” Elizabeth lifted her hands and let them fall back to her lap. “I can’t explain it, but I don’t hurt like I did yesterday.”
The expression on Ashley’s face changed. “Really?”
“Really.” She ran her hands over her arms and legs. “The pain is gone.”
“Well, then—” Ashley bent down and kissed her cheek—“let’s have the best day ever.”
Kari and Brooke and Erin and Reagan all had their dresses on. They worked each other’s straps, helping with adjustments and making sure no undergarments showed. Earlier in the morning, a hairdresser from a small shop near the university had come and put the bridesmaids’ hair up.
Each one of them looked like a vision, but none of them compared with Ashley. Her hair was a cascade of ringlets, pinned up in a way that was soft and delicate, with tendrils framing her face.
“Okay,” Kari made a final shift of her dress. “It’s your turn, Ash.”
“Right.” Ashley pulled a white garment bag from Elizabeth’s closet, unzipped it, and took out the dress. She held it out as each of the girls gathered around, touching the skirt and admiring the needlework on the bodice.
Elizabeth coughed twice and held her hand out toward Ashley. “I’m feeling well enough; can I help you, dear?”
The room fell quiet for a moment, and Kari sniffed.
“I’d love that, Mom.” Ashley and the others moved the dress closer to Elizabeth.
At the same time, Erin was at her mother’s side, helping her to her feet. They all lifted the dress and eased it over Ashley’s hair. But Elizabeth wanted to do the buttons. She’d been thinking about this, practicing the move in her mind. Since her hands didn’t hurt, she set to work on the bottom button and gradually worked her way up.
“Can you believe it, Mom?” Ashley had her back to her, but she angled her face so they could see each other.
“I know I can.” Kari dabbed at her eyes. “Landon has loved you since the first day he met you.”
Brooke smiled. “Sort of like you and Ryan.”
“Yes.” Kari’s cheeks glowed and she smiled at Ashley. “You’re beautiful, little sister. Wait till he sees you.”
Elizabeth kept working the buttons, steady by Erin’s side. “When you left for Paris, Ashley, I didn’t know if you’d ever come back.” Her words were thoughtful, drenched in the memory of those long-ago emotions. “And when you came home, I wondered the same thing.”
“I’m sorry.” Ashley held her fingers to her eyes and uttered a sad-sounding laugh. “Glad my makeup’s not on yet.”
“No, I don’t mean to make you sorry.” Elizabeth struggled with the buttons. She was tired, but nothing was going to stop her. She had dreamed about this moment too long to let anything get in the way. “I just mean look at how amazing God is. He kept Landon from going to New York City too early. If he would’ve gone when he was supposed to, he would’ve been in the twin towers that day.”
“Like my dad.” Reagan’s eyes were damp also.
“Yes.” Elizabeth paused and held her hand out to Reagan. “Like your dad.”
Ashley breathed in and straightened herself. “I’ve thought about that.”
“You see . . . God had a plan for you all along.” Elizabeth looked at the other girls. “He always has a plan for us; either to give us a hope and a future here in this world. Or—” she smiled and waited for her emotions to level out—“or in the next.”
“It is amazing how things work out.” Brooke sat on the edge of the bed near Elizabeth. “Hayley is doing so much better. Drinking from a cup, eating solid food. We could’ve lost her, but God wasn’t finished with her yet.”
“That’s what it comes down to.” Elizabeth worked the last few buttons together. She stopped to cough, but only for a moment. “He alone knows the number of our days, and until that moment, he always has a plan for us.”
She fastened the last one and then held her breath. “Okay, turn around.”
Kari picked up Ashley’s train and fluffed it out behind her. Ashley made a slow spin to face Elizabeth. As she did, she smoothed out the front of the skirt and their eyes met. “Well . . .”
Elizabeth covered her mouth, but only for a few seconds. “Ashley . . . you’re absolutely gorgeous.” She gave a slow shake of her head and put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “Remember what I said about God having a plan for us?”
“Yes.” Ashley’s eyes glowed, much like the rest of her. “You’ve always taught us that. God has a plan for his people as long as they draw breath.”
“This—” her voice grew tight and almost too soft to hear—“this is my miracle, Ashley. Seeing you get married. I’m still alive because God allowed this day to be part of his plans for me.” She kissed Ashley’s cheek. “What else could I ask for?”
Even as Elizabeth said the words, the answer came to mind. She could ask God to help her find her firstborn. But she quickly dismissed the thought. Here and now, seeing Ashley marry Landon would be more than enough.
The girls were talking at once again, marveling over the dress and the way Ashley looked in it. Whereas at one time in her life Ashley had worn beatnik clothing and refused anything even slightly mainstream, now she looked like she’d stepped off the cover of a bridal magazine.
&
nbsp; They were all saying so when Cole burst into the room. He stopped when he saw Ashley, and suddenly his steps became slow and dreamy. “Mommy . . . you look like a princess.”
“Thanks, honey.” Ashley lowered herself to his level. “And look how handsome you are!”
The wedding was an hour away, and John had already dressed Cole in one of the upstairs rooms, the one where all the guys except for Landon were getting ready.
“I know. Papa says I look good in grown-up duds.” His face fell some. “’Cept I’m a little nervous about my wedding.”
Around the room the girls did a good job of hiding their smiles. Of course Cole would think it was his wedding. He’d wanted it even longer than Ashley had.
Ashley crooked her finger and rubbed it against Cole’s chin. “What are you worried about, sport?”
He angled his head and blinked. “I don’t have the words yet.”
Kari, Brooke, Erin, and Reagan gathered closer. Ashley lowered her brow. “What words? You’re the ring bearer, honey. You don’t have to say any words at all.”
Cole nodded his head emphatically. “Yes, Mommy. Landon said so.”
Elizabeth pressed herself back into her chair, trying to keep from giggling.
“What did Landon say?” Ashley stood and took Cole’s hands in hers.
They were a vision, facing each other that way. Cole drew circles on the floor with the toe of his shiny dress shoe. “He said after we say the vows, he’ll be my daddy forever.” Cole paused. “So what if I don’t know the vows, Mommy. I haven’t practiced like I practice my ABCs.”
“Cole . . .” Ashley pulled him into a hug. “Landon and I say the vows, silly. You don’t have to do anything but walk up with the ring pillow and stand there looking cute.”
“Really, Mommy?”
She kissed the top of his head. “Really.”
“Goody!” He raised a fist into the air, all boy despite the fancy clothes. He started to turn around, but he stopped himself. “After the vows part, can I call Landon my daddy?”
Elizabeth felt a rush of tears, but she held them back. Name or not, Landon had been Cole’s father for years now. Ashley had told them that Landon already had the papers filled out to officially adopt Cole once they were married. He couldn’t have loved Cole more if the boy had been his own.
“Yes, Cole.” Ashley’s voice was thick when she finally found the words to answer him. “Yes, you can call him Daddy.”
* * *
John could feel the presence of God around them.
It had been that way since this morning when Elizabeth first reported that for no reason at all, her pain was gone. But it was more than that. In some ways, Ashley’s wedding represented a coda on the past years of Baxter life. Just four years ago there were more questions than answers making up their family. Questions concerning Kari and Luke and Brooke and Erin. Even the harder questions regarding Ashley. Now the questions had been answered. God had come through on every front except one.
Elizabeth was dying. She wasn’t getting the miracle they’d prayed for, and one day—when the wedding was over, when everything was over—he would spend some time with God and try to figure out why. Why it was necessary for her to die when everything in their lives had finally worked out.
The questions he had for God didn’t leave John angry, just confused.
But that time would wait. For Ashley was getting married and in spite of all the ways he couldn’t understand what God was doing with Elizabeth, John could feel his presence all around them.
The ceremony was set to start in twenty minutes. All the other guys had gone on to the church, so just the women remained. John had hired a limousine for the occasion, a stretch that would seat him and Elizabeth, the bridesmaids, and Ashley and Cole.
He stood near the front door and cupped his mouth. “Time to go.” Familiarity surrounded the moment. This was how he’d felt when Kari and Erin and Brooke got married. This rushed, exhilarated feeling that they’d entered a countdown. That in less than an hour he would give away his daughter, that when the day was over, she would bear another man’s name.
And now he was doing the entire routine for the last time.
Erin led the way down the stairs with Elizabeth on her arm. “We’re all coming.”
A trail of his daughters and Reagan followed, each of them stunning. His eyes locked on to Elizabeth’s and held. They had always been able to speak without words, and this moment was no different. As beautiful as the girls around her were, Elizabeth was the most striking. With her fashionable beret—this one blue-gray like her dress—and her delicate features, she was still the only woman who could take his breath away.
But her looks were nothing compared to her eyes, full and emotional and as intently aware of the significance of the moment as he was.
“Elizabeth . . .” He held out his hand and she came to him.
“You look wonderful, John.” Her steps were slow, but her smile spread from one cheekbone to the other. The bridesmaids passed by them, hurrying along with Cole out to the car, giggling and remarking about the limo and how fun the ride to the church would be.
Ashley was last. She took both his hands and Elizabeth’s and looked from one of them to the other. “If I’ve never said this before, I need to say it now.” She bit her lip and her chin quivered. “Thank you for putting up with me, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.”
“That’s what parents do.” John leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You look stunning, sweetheart.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed their hands. “We have to go. I just had to tell you that. Every time you prayed for me, God heard you.” A grin flashed across her face and she gave a light shrug. “Can you believe it? I’m really getting married!”
She was gone in a flash, leaving John and Elizabeth alone. He angled his head. “Look at you, Elizabeth. Mother of the bride again and still pretty enough to make the bride jealous.”
“You always know what to say, John. You always have.” A light blush came into her cheeks. “Let’s go. I don’t want to miss a minute of this one.”
* * *
The final minutes felt like an eternity.
After all the time Landon had waited for Ashley Baxter, these last moments were almost more than he could take. He shifted from one foot to the other, staring every few seconds at the back door, willing the music to start so he could finally see her.
The church was packed. Half the church was filled with his family, his parents’ friends, and two dozen guys from the fire department. There were people he and Ashley had attended school with and doctors who worked with John Baxter.
Every one of them was obviously aware of the circumstances. That despite the happy occasion, the wedding had been changed because the bride’s mother was dying. Luke had already ushered his mother in, and she was sitting serenely in the first pew. No matter the illness that ravaged her body, the look on her face was pure, untainted joy.
How long had he loved Ashley Baxter? Many guests were aware of their history, how he had pursued her even when she seemed not a little interested. There were doctors from the hospital who remembered his injury in the Bloomington fire, the way Ashley had stayed by his bedside, proclaiming her love to him, and then taking it back when he woke up.
Back then she was always so afraid to love.
But God had changed all that, and now, here they were.
The music changed and Landon felt his heart skip a beat. He swallowed hard and clasped his hands behind his back, the way Pastor Mark had instructed last night at the rehearsal.
The bridesmaids and groomsmen came first, each of them wearing a look that was deeper than mere happiness. These were people who had prayed for him and Ashley, people who knew what they’d been through and how far they’d come, the obstacles God had removed to bring them to this day.
Landon had thought about asking some of his buddies at the fire department to act as ushers, but with Elizabeth sick, somehow it didn’t
seem appropriate. Instead he’d chosen the spouses of Ashley’s sisters, and for his best man, Luke, the Baxter he’d gotten closest to during his time in Manhattan.
Erin and Sam were first down the aisle, followed by Brooke and Peter, and then Kari and Ryan. Luke and Reagan were last, and since Kari was Ashley’s matron of honor, she swapped places with Reagan so she’d be in the right spot. Luke caught Landon’s eye and gave him a thumbs-up.
Landon grinned and looked at the rear of the church again. Cole was the ring bearer, and Maddie and Hayley were the flower girls. A lump grew in Landon’s throat as he watched the tender procession. Cole pushed Hayley in her wheelchair. She was dressed in a white-and-pink dress identical to Maddie’s. Cole’s pillow was on her lap, and the flower basket on top of that. Maddie walked alongside the chair, taking small handfuls of rose petals from the basket and sprinkling them along the aisle runner.
Hayley didn’t hold her mouth open the way she had for months after her drowning accident. Watching her now—the smile on her face, the way her blonde hair fell in ringlets around her head—it was easy to believe she might actually make a full recovery one day.
When the children reached the front, Cole pushed Hayley to a place along the front row near Elizabeth. He waved big and said, “Hi, Grandma. Did I do good?”
A few feet away, Pastor Mark stifled a giggle as a round of quiet laughter fanned out across the first few rows. Elizabeth leaned close to Cole. She looked beautiful, much like Ashley. But she was too thin. Much too thin. “Yes, Cole,” she said in a loud whisper. “You did great.”
He nodded, proud of himself. Then he took the ring pillow and the flower basket from Hayley, handed the basket to Maddie, and led her to her place in front of Brooke, the way he’d been taught to do the night before.
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