She worked another spell, and soon Wolf was back to normal. She even cast a healing spell on my back to mend the nasty cat scratches left by Tattles.
We started our journey back to the city. Along the way, the princess told us how she’d awoken to find my note. She and Cappy decided to follow us. They used Master Dreadthorn’s crystal ball to find out which way we’d gone.
I wasn’t sure how to ask Queen Catalina the bazillion questions I had. Luckily, I didn’t have to ask. Ileana beat me to it.
“So, what happened back there? How did you …?” she asked.
The queen glanced at the king, who was finally walking along nicely on his own but still seemed a little out of it. He smiled vaguely at a tree and waved like he was in a parade. The queen sighed as if she was about to admit something terrible but undeniable.
“I was born both a witch and a princess,” she explained. “I’ve kept it secret for so long. Please don’t tell your father.”
Ileana nodded, looking thoughtful. I took advantage of the silence to ask a question of my own.
“So, why didn’t you go to villain school?” I asked.
“I did,” Catalina said. “But … oh, it’s a long story.”
I waited for Queen Catalina to tell us the story, but she didn’t say anything else.
“But that means Ileana is a witch halfsie,” Wolf said suddenly.
“Duh!” Jezebel answered.
Everyone looked at Ileana, then at the queen, but neither of them spoke.
We were all quiet for a while after that. The king came back to his senses, and with a little explaining, everything went back to normal—or as normal as it could be with royalty and villains keeping company. But I noticed the queen kept glancing at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. It made me think there was something about her past that she wasn’t telling us.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Freckled Face-Off
The going was a little slower this time, but we crossed into the kingdom of Kaloya and managed to reach the city of Dimineata just after dusk. I was surprised to find the gates wide open and unguarded. Inside, we could hear hundreds of voices shouting.
We made our way to the plaza surrounding the palace and could go no farther. A mob spilled out from the palace walls. Everywhere men and women were shouting and brandishing pitchforks and torches. As a villain, this scene made me a little uncomfortable. Angry mobs usually mean trouble for villains. Jez, Wolf, and I exchanged nervous looks, but we stood our ground. It was kind of garbled, but a chant had begun that sounded like “Down with Aurelio!”
I could see men working crowd control, but there were no guards on the palace walls.
“What’s going on?” the queen asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. Then I spotted a familiar face. It was General Bowson. He saw me at the same time and nodded, pressing through the crowd toward us.
“We did it, boy!” he said. Then he seemed to notice I wasn’t alone.
“Your Highness! Your Majesty!” He bowed to the king and queen.
“Gunner, my old friend,” said the king, shaking Bowson’s hand. “What’s happened here?”
A few people around us recognized the king and queen. At the same time, they seemed to notice Wolf and Cappy. People started to back away nervously, and whispers were already circling our little group.
“Let’s go inside and talk,” the general said. He parted the crowd with a few gruff words and led all of us to the palace gate. Six or seven of the general’s men were standing guard. They moved aside to let us in with sideways glances at Cappy and Wolf, then closed the gates behind us.
Even just inside the gate, it was much quieter. The general got us all up to speed on what had been happening while we were away. It turned out he’d reached the Resistance camp just in time to warn them about Chad and Aurelio’s soldiers. The general’s men managed to surprise Aurelio’s and come up from behind to attack. Most of Aurelio’s army ended up surrendering.
After the small victory, General Bowson wasted no time. He led the Resistance army into the city and marched on the palace. It was a rough, long battle, but in the end the people of the city joined in, angry at Aurelio not only for stealing the throne from his brother, the rightful king, but also for being a lousy ruler. He’d been raising taxes on the people since he’d taken the throne, and it seemed they were fed up.
“What did you do with Aurelio? And Chad and the others?” I asked.
“Well, now we come to it,” General Bowson said, looking a little uncomfortable. “We can’t reach them.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Those villain kids have Aurelio inside, and they’ve got enchantments on the door. We can’t get in. I’ve been waiting for you to get here. Thought maybe you could help,” the general said to me. I could tell he wasn’t the kind of man who usually asked for help—especially from a kid who’d set his pants on fire.
I took a moment to formulate a plan. It seemed Erzsebet, Gilles, and Chad had combined their powers to enchant the door.
“Jez, you’re not too bad at Spelling, do you think—?”
But she was already shaking her head. “I’m not powerful enough on my own.”
Wolf and I were even worse at Spelling. I glanced at the queen, remembering how she had undone Padurii’s spell on the king. But she shook her head at me, and I knew she wouldn’t risk exposing herself by working a spell.
Alone, we weren’t too powerful, but I thought together we might be able to break through the enchantment. It was worth a try.
“Everybody stay here,” I said, but of course, nobody did. So we all marched up to the castle together. Jez, Wolf, and I stopped just in front of the massive oak double doors.
We took a moment to argue about the best spell for the job. Since the door was locked with magic, I couldn’t just break out my hairpin this time.
“What about the Unhinging spell?” Wolf asked.
“No, that’ll never work,” I said. “The hinges are on the inside. What about Seal-Unseal?”
“That’s for animal transformation,” Jez said.
“It is? Oh, I’m thinking of Seal with a Kiss. Wait—no that’s for envelopes.”
“We want the Lock-Block spell,” Jez said.
This was a simple unlocking spell we’d all learned when Master Stiltskin had accidentally magically locked himself in a coffin. After a little discussion, we decided it was the best option, practicing a couple times just to be sure we had the rhythm down.
“On three then?” I asked them. Wolf and Jez both nodded.
“One! Two! Three!” I shouted. Together, we unleashed the spell:
“Doorknobs and keys
open with ease.
But a good spell
works just as well.”
The power of it blew the door to pieces with an explosion that rocked the ground like an earthquake.
“Whoa,” Wolf said.
“Cool,” Jez added.
“Let’s go!”
I ran inside, followed closely by the others. Just to the left of the main entry was the throne room. I could see Aurelio sitting on the throne looking like a scared rabbit. He still wore loads of gaudy gold jewelry, but it looked like he hadn’t trimmed his beard in a while, and his crown was askew atop his bald head.
To either side of him were the Morgana vampires, Gilles and Erzsebet. And standing in front was Chad. When he saw the king and queen behind us his eyes—already huge from his thick glasses—bulged even wider.
“That’s right, Chad,” I said. “It’s over. Muma Padurii is gone. The king and queen will be restored to the throne. Your Plot has failed.”
“Stop them!” yelled Chad.
Erzsebet leaped out from behind Chad and lunged at me, her vampire fangs bared and dripping with lethal venom. I didn’t have time to react, but luckily I didn’t have to. Before I knew what was happening, Cappy—with baby Cricket still cradled in one arm—shoved me to the floor and took the full force of Erzsebet’s bit
e himself. He howled with pain, then stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.
At the same time, I heard a sickening crack. Two shimmering white slivers tumbled from Erzsebet’s mouth to the floor and skipped across the stone with a light tinkling noise. Erzsebet stood in shock, staring at her severed teeth, one pallid hand pressed to her bloodred lips. She fled the hall screaming in agony.
“Nice one, Cappy!” Wolf said.
Gilles took one look at Cappy and abandoned Chad, fleeing after Erzsebet.
“Cowards!” shouted Chad, but Gilles and Erzsebet were already gone. Aurelio tried to scramble after them, but Chad cast a spell to hold him in place.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.
“It’s over, child,” Aurelio said. “Muma Padurii is gone, and—”
“No!” Chad screamed in his high-pitched, whiny voice.
“What a mama’s boy,” Jez said.
Chad’s eyes darted from left to right. I could tell he was desperate. Cornered. I decided to try reasoning with him.
“Chad,” I said. “It doesn’t have to be like this. Maybe … maybe Master Dreadthorn will let you stay on at school. You might have to bump down a level. Start over as a Crook or something …”
“A Crook?” Chad asked. I thought I saw hope in his face.
“I’ll talk to him for you. I’m sure we can work something out,” I said.
“You … you’d do that for me?” Chad asked.
“What are brothers for?” I said. “Come on, Chad.”
I held out my hand to him. Of course, I didn’t really mean it. As soon as the weasel got close, I was going to kick his backside for putting me through all this.
Chad smiled. Slowly he stepped toward us. Everything was going to be okay.
Yeah right. Villains always double-cross.
Chad acted as though he was going to hug me, but instead he grabbed Ileana and yelled, “Don’t anybody move.”
Whew. That was close. Villains do not like hugs. However, hostage situations? I could deal with that. Although Chad picked the wrong hostage. That was my princess!
“Now, we’re all taking a trip to the dungeons, where you will go quietly into individual cells. If you don’t, you’ll be sorry.” He tightened his grip around Princess Ileana’s neck. That was a mistake. I readied to make my move, but Ileana beat me to it.
The princess balled her right hand into a tiny fist and sunk it hard into Chad’s freckled face. He staggered back, releasing Ileana and cupping his hands under his nose, where blood trickled from both nostrils.
“Nice one,” I said appreciatively.
“Thanks,” she said, shaking out her hand.
“This isn’t over!” Chad tried to shout while at the same time pinching his nose to stem the bleeding. It came out kind of nasally and not really very threatening.
I lunged after him, but he cast a spell at the same moment:
“From every wall unleash a flood,
raining down as red as blood.
Though I leave you in defeat,
this revenge is just as sweet!”
I ducked aside just as a crimson torrent burst from the walls as if a dam had suddenly broken. Chad disappeared in a theatrical flash of light and smoke, but the walls kept gushing forth their scarlet deluge.
“It’s blood!” shouted General Bowson.
Jez dipped her finger in the red flood, which was now up to everyone’s knees. She tasted it. “It’s not blood. It’s—”
“Red frosting,” I said. “Typical Chad.”
*
In the hours that followed, General Bowson personally escorted Aurelio to the tower. The general had wanted to lock him in the deepest, darkest dungeon and throw away the key, but the king interceded on his brother’s behalf.
“He was manipulated. He shouldn’t have done what he did, but he’s still my brother,” the king said. I could almost relate.
Then the king and queen, along with Ileana and the general, went out to address the crowds. Cappy was busy changing baby Cricket’s diaper. Jez, Wolf, and I found ourselves alone.
“Did … did we just complete our Plot?” Wolf said in a daze, almost like he couldn’t believe it.
“Let’s see,” I said, pulling out the crumpled note containing my Plot. “Princess? Check. Baby? Check. Henchman?”
We looked over at Cappy, who was now rocking and feeding the baby.
“It still counts,” I said, “so, check. Overthrow a kingdom?”
We took in the messy aftermath of our battle with Chad. Our clothes were stained red with frosting. We all exchanged looks.
“Check,” we said together, smiling.
There was a lot of embarrassing behavior after that, high-fiving and such. I won’t mention the hugging and crying either. Suffice to say, we were back to our villainous selves by the time the king and queen returned with Ileana and the general. They invited us to dine with them as their honored guests.
Once that was over, Wolf and Jez were given their own rooms, where they could catch up on a little sleep before we returned to school. And I stressed a little. I wasn’t about to fail my Plot due to oversleeping (although I planned to get one or two winks myself).
The king and General Bowson went off together to discuss rounding up Aurelio’s remaining guards and to organize a search party to go after Erzsebet, Gilles, and Chad. Cappy had fallen asleep on the floor with baby Cricket, and that left me alone with Ileana and the queen.
The queen smiled at me and brushed my dark hair out of my face. She put one arm around me and one around Ileana. As far as hugs go, it wasn’t so bad. Not that I wanted to get in the habit of hugging or anything.
“Rune, I’d really like it if you could come visit us here again. I don’t just mean sometimes. I mean soon and often. Maybe you could come and stay with us in the summer?” the queen asked.
This was a little unexpected. Villains don’t usually get invited back, and it made me wonder again if I was on the right side here.
“I’ll ask Master Dreadthorn about it,” I said. “But I doubt he’ll allow it.”
“Let me handle him,” the queen said. I wasn’t sure she knew who she would be dealing with, but I let it slide.
“What about Ileana?”
“She’ll be here too, of course,” the queen said, looking confused.
“No, I mean, she is a halfsie … have you ever thought about her, uh, education much?”
I thought this was probably a dead-end conversation. There was no way a queen was going to let her only child grow up a villain, but I was surprised to hear Ileana speak.
“You mean you want me to go to school with you?” the princess asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“Can I, Mother? Please?” Ileana asked.
“I think we might be able to make some arrangements.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Plot Twists
After an exhausting six days, I had finally completed my Plot. I was shown to a room, where I passed out and didn’t wake up until dusk. By that time, all the others were awake and waiting for me. I had a quick meal, then—along with Jez and Wolf Junior—prepared to make the journey back to school.
It was decided that baby Cricket would stay with Ileana’s family, with Cappy as her nursemaid. They even agreed to take in the goat as a palace pet.
“The Zâne were right,” Jez said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Do you remember what they told us the night we found the baby? ‘This baby’s fate is tied up with yours now. In time, you will see her gifts.’ If it hadn’t been for Cricket, we might have lost to Padurii.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I said. “Thanks, baby.” I could’ve sworn she winked at me, but I didn’t mention it to anybody.
“Good-bye, Runey,” Cappy said as we gathered in front of the palace doors.
He moved in for a hug, then checked himself.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Henchmen no
give hugs,” he said sadly.
“Oh, just this once, then,” I said with a sigh. He grinned, crushing me in a hug that squeezed the wind out of my lungs. I endured a round of hand shaking from General Bowson and the king too.
Then the queen came forward with Ileana. They were dressed for traveling.
“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.
“Yes, I think we’ll take the trip with you, if you don’t mind.”
I exchanged looks with Wolf and Jez. Wolf just shrugged as if to say it was okay with him.
Jez didn’t look so thrilled to have company. She scowled at the princess, folded her arms, and tapped her toe loudly.
All our packs had been restocked with food—fresh sheep liver for Wolf, cocoa for Jez, and plenty of meat, cheese, and fruit for me.
“Surely you’ll take a small guard with you?” General Bowson asked the queen. His eyes flickered to me, Jez, and Wolf.
“We’ll be quite safe, General,” the queen said.
“Shall I come, dear?” asked the king.
“You have too much work to do here, darling. We won’t be gone long.”
The king seemed satisfied, but the general continued to protest. In the end the queen won out, and General Bowson gave us an armed escort to the city gates. A few minutes later Jez, Wolf, and I were on the road once more, along with our royal company.
As we traveled, we kept our eyes open for Chad, but we never saw him. We did, however, run into some old friends. It happened just before dawn. As we were walking along the road, suddenly three glowing figures appeared from out of the forest. It was the Zâne.
“Hello again,” the white rose lady said. “I see you’ve had many strange adventures since we parted.” She nodded at Queen Catalina and Princess Ileana, and eyed Wolf in a wise, knowing sort of way. I wondered if we were in trouble.
“Uh, yes,” I said, hoping the beautiful flying ladies would let us pass.
“We cannot let you pass,” the poppy lady said.
Nope. Guess not.
“There’s something we need you to see,” the daisy fairy said. “Follow us.”
We didn’t really have much of a choice. I was pretty sure in a battle with the powerful Zâne, we’d lose. So we all followed behind the floating ladies as they led us through the forest.
Good Curses Evil Page 13