Return To Forever

by James Frishkey

  Joe was running out of rope and if the charade continued much longer he would surely hang himself. “No, I enlisted in the Marines. Tried a little college out of high school but I wasn’t ready.” He leaned forward, extending his hand. “I never told you my name. I’m Joe, Joe Fedorsio.”

  Allison’s mouth dropped to the floor! “I thought I recognized you! If you are trying to find Mary forget it. She’s married now.” She threw the cigarette to the floor and stood up to leave.

  “Please wait, Allison,” Joe pleaded. “Meeting you was purely accidental…honest. Everything I’ve said to you is the truth. I was enjoying your company so much I was avoiding identifying myself because I expected this kind of reaction.” She was hurt and, frankly, disappointed that his attention was premeditated. She was warming up to him.

  “How did you know who I was?” she asked, returning to her seat in the booth. “Do I really still look like I did back then?” Joe explained how he had spotted her name in the program and asked the stage manager to point her out. “OK, Joe I’ll buy your explanation. So where is this going? I told you Mary was married.”

  Joe had no idea where this was going. “First, I would like to be friends. We share more than Mary. I truly admire your playing and would like to show you my chops someday. As far as your sister goes, I knew she was getting married a long time ago. She was looking at bridal gowns in the Hudsons where my mother works. I guess what I am really looking for is an explanation. She dropped me cold turkey…no phone call, no letter, nothing. There was no indication she was losing interest or I was too blind to see the signals.”

  Allison was shocked at what he was telling her. “She broke up with you before your senior prom. What are you talking about?” Looks like Mary kept their relationship a secret even from her younger sister.

  Joe was equally surprised. “I thought you knew. We never broke up. That was just to satisfy your parents. We continued dating through her first semester at college. I would visit every weekend and on one visit she disappeared and never communicated with me again…until a couple of years ago when I received a shoe box with all of the gifts and pictures I had given her. No return address or note was in the box.”

  Allison grabbed Joe’s hand. “I am so sorry she treated you like that. I had no idea. We were never as close as you would think. I hope you aren’t going to try and find her. Do yourself a favor and pretend she never existed.”

  CHAPTER 19

  After his meeting with Allison, Joe was even more confused about what happened to Mary. If he read between the lines, Allison was giving Joe a warning…but why? Was Mary’s husband overly jealous and protective? Joe tried to get more information from Allison but she would not reveal anything. There was no record of Mary attending or graduating from State College but he knew she did. Without her married name he had no track to run on.

  Joe had mixed feelings about continuing a relationship with Allison. He genuinely liked her and would enjoy her friendship but he guessed any contact on his part would be seen as a fishing expedition to find Mary. Fuck it, he decided. Allison was the only good thing that had come from his nightmare over Mary and he decided to call her…but she never gave him her number. He didn’t want to stalk the Detroit Symphony so the only option left was to call her family’s home, if the number still existed.

  “Hello, this is Allison. I can’t take your call right now. Leave your number and a message and I’ll get back to you.” So, Joe thought, it looks like Allison is the lone survivor of the Donaldson homestead. The parents must have retired and moved to a more pleasant climate.

  “Hi Allison. This is Joe Fedorsio. I am not chasing you to find Mary. I just wanted to invite you to my band’s gig next Friday. We are playing at The Raven Lounge. I know it’s a rough area but it is the best blues venue in the Midwest. We go on at 9 PM. I’ll leave your name at the door so you don’t have to pay a cover. Hope to see you then.” Joe had checked the Symphony’s schedule and they had nothing going that night. If she showed up Joe would know she was interested in a friendship they could share.

  As a musician, Joe had outgrown Doug and their old drummer long ago. When he decided to focus on the blues, he called an old co-worker at the carpet company, Troy Hawkins, who had played with all the major big bands in the ‘40s and ‘50s. Troy was a giant of a man and took Joe under his wing immediately, encouraging him to join the Musicians Union when that was the only way to work a gig without getting your ass kicked and instruments trashed. When Joe joined the band he was the only white guy among much older black players.

  In years past the Raven was 100% black. Touring jazz and blues musicians always made a stop there and the place was always packed. When the British rock bands began embracing American Blues, the crowd started to shift to a more mixed audience with a huge influx of college kids. Any band with Troy Hawkins on the drums was automatically booked and Joe’s virtuosity on solos impressed even the most seasoned blues fans.

  When Allison heard Joe’s message she was pleasantly surprised. She was beginning to think that her sister had let a good one slip through her fingers. She had been to the Raven with a bunch of friends to see Jean Luc Ponty and had no apprehension about the neighborhood. Still, she wasn’t sure she wanted to start down this road with Joe. Her life was progressing exactly according to plan and he would be a detour that could lead down a rough road.

  On the night of the gig, Joe arrived around 8 pm and left Allison’s name at the door as promised. He wasn’t sure if she would bring any friends so, to be safe, he said there would be four people in her group. The table he reserved for her was right in front of the stage and Joe would be able to make continued eye contact if she was up to it. He hoped she would arrive during the first set as they would not hold an empty table all night.

  Like most guitar players, Joe played LOUD! These days he was using a 50 watt Marshall half-stack which he pushed his 1958 Strat through. Effects were in vogue but Joe limited his arsenal to a Tube Screamer (for mild distortion) and a Wa-Wa pedal. The sound man that the club provided had worked with the band many times so Joe was comfortable knowing his tone would be spot on.

  At precisely 9 pm the band roared in to “Dust My Broom” by Elmore James and Joe was red hot, driving the other players over the top. The audience was on their feet and would stay that way through most of the first set. Joe liked to stack the early songs with high energy and the club owner loved to see people moving and sweating…and drinking. Between songs Joe kept his eye out for Allison but she was beginning to look like a no show. A couple of young college girls from Wayne State kept sending him beers and would have given him a hell of a lot more if he wanted it.

  The final song of the first set was “Stormy Monday”, a classic T-Bone Walker tune that featured the keyboard and sax players which was fine with Joe. When the song ended Joe wiped off his strings, grabbed his beer and walked to the front door, getting pats on the back from the appreciative crowd. He needed some air and a smoke and a little silence to get the ringing out of his ears. As he leaned against the building he wondered why Allison blew him off. “Fucking amazing”, he thought. Dumped by both Donaldson girls!

  Joe walked back inside for the second set and saw that the table he had reserved was now occupied by a group he did not recognize. “Don’t mean nothing”, he said to himself as he plugged in and re-tuned. Typically, the band gets requests and Lester, the sound man, handed Joe a note which he set aside, grabbing another beer and placing it on his Marshall for quick access.

  Joe usually started the second set by introducing the band members, then doing a request. As he finished with his own introduction, he grabbed the request he had set aside. “We have some requests and we’re going to do one now for you.” He unfolded the request but it was a note from Allison:

  Hi Joe, I really wanted to hear you play but I can’t keep seeing you. I’m afraid that in time you will push me to reveal something about my sister and I can’t allow that to happen. I wish I could tell you more but
her welfare is my most important consideration. —Allison

  Joe finished the gig in a fog. He had no idea if he played well or not but the crowd didn’t leave until the last note was played so he must have been doing something right. After tearing down, Joe and Troy sat at an empty table and did a couple of joints. Troy sensed something was wrong but knew Joe was a pretty private cat and so he just savored the smoke in silence.

  “You want to do a line with me?” Troy asked, trying to engage his friend. That was Joe’s cue to make a graceful exit. A little grass was great but he stopped there, although coke was seen as a more upscale recreational drug.

  “No thanks man. I have a nice buzz going so I’m heading to the crib. Great gig.” Joe was always amazed at how he gravitated to black jargon when he played and envied the creativity of the words. Definitely very cool indeed.

  It was a long drive home but at 2 AM traffic certainly was not a problem. Allison’s note continued to bounce in his head. Nothing was making sense. This mystery had to end so he decided to confront Allison in person…right now.

  CHAPTER 20

  The air conditioning in the patrol car was acting up again. Phil’s blue uniform was dripping with sweat when he pulled into the station, completing his shift for the day. “Hey Sarge, damn car is low on Freon again. I think there’s a leak somewhere in the system.” He knew that being low man in seniority with the Lansdale PD meant paying his dues but the piece of shit he was driving was barely operable and he was tired of getting the shitty end of the stick. At least a good woman and a good meal would be waiting for him at home.

  Phil’s route to being a cop in his home town was a “long and winding road” indeed. He was able to maintain a decent grade point at Michigan Tech but needed to work to cover tuition and books. This delayed his graduation another year but it did happen. The delay also allowed him to meet his future wife, Melissa, a stunning redhead with a degree in accounting that paid the bills while he finished his last semester.

  Returning home he applied to several municipal police departments and, once accepted, had to complete the rigors of the police academy. After Annapolis, this was a walk in the park. He was hoping that, after a couple of years, he could apply to the FBI but that was a long shot at best.

  Phil and Joe had lost touch with each other when Phil went up north to Tech. Now that they were both back home and living fairly close to each other they still couldn’t find the time to hook up. Phil knew that Mary dumped him and he joined the Marines but that was where Joe’s trail ended.

  Melissa was doing the books for a couple of small local merchants and also did the tax returns for most of the patrolmen in Joe’s precinct. The extra money was much needed while Phil made his bones and climbed the ladder. He had a spotless record but recognition was hard to come by in a sleepy suburban community.

  As much as Phil enjoyed working days and having dinner with Melissa, shift changes were inevitable and he was notified that he would be working the fourth (last) shift for the next six months. The upside was he would be able to enjoy the cool evenings and not have to deal with the stifling heat with no air conditioning.

  —

  Joe could have driven to Mary’s old house with his eyes closed, even at 2 am with a healthy buzz going. As he rolled slowly down her street not a light was on in any of the old brick ranch homes. He parked on the street rather than the long driveway which was occupied by a bright red Mustang that looked almost new.

  ‘God am I hungry’, he thought as he climbed the three steps to the front door. He pressed the ringer and hoped Allison was still awake. After several tries he decided to knock and finally heard the barking of a small dog. He tried knocking again and the porch light came on with someone peeking between the curtains. “Allison, its Joe. Please let me in, I really need to talk to you.”

  “Go away, Joe” came her reply through the cracked door. The dog was going nuts and the barking was like gunshots to Joe’s drug enhanced senses. “Mitsy Quiet,” she yelled to the dog who had no intention of heeding her command. By now the barking had awakened a neighbor who also turned on their porch light. “Please go Joe before someone calls the police. We have nothing to talk about.”

  Joe was tempted to force the door open but knew no good would come of further frightening Allison. “We have a lot to talk about, Allison. I know you like me and know I don’t want to hurt anybody but someone owes me some answers.”

  Phil’s radio came to life and he listened intently. “415 in progress at 557 Dalway.” Phil knew the street and was less than a mile away when he took the call. He left the siren off but lit his Christmas tree and screeched to a stop behind a beat up blue Torino. The porch lights of several houses were on and he could hear a dog barking insanely at a figure standing at the front door. ‘My God! This is Mary Donaldson’s house’, Phil thought as he put the beam of his flashlight on the man at the door. “Step away from the door and let me see your hands!” he barked in his most authoritative tone.

  Joe turned as instructed, putting his hands above his head. The brightness of the flashlight prevented him from seeing the officer but Phil instantly recognized his old friend. “Joe, what the fuck is going on?” He turned off the flashlight and Joe flashed a big smile. “Phil you old cocksucker…how the hell are you?” By then Allison had opened the door and witnessed what appeared to be a reunion of two old friends.

  “Are you alright, ma’am?” Phil asked, looking carefully at the young girl for any sign of injury.

  “I’m fine.” she answered. “His knocking and the dog barking must have upset the neighbors who must have called 911.”

  “Well that’s fine but I will have to make a report. Do you mind if we all step inside?” Phil wanted to get everyone inside and out of earshot of any nosy neighbors. Once inside the dog stopped barking immediately. Phil could tell Joe was either a little drunk or high and asked Allison if she had any coffee. When she came back with two cups of boiling instant decaf she handed one to Joe and another to Phil.

  “Thanks, but you wouldn’t have any chips or Cheetos would you?” Joe asked innocently. Allison started to laugh which immediately eased the tension in the room. She didn’t want this to become a big deal that got Joe arrested so she sort of told the truth.

  “Officer I was supposed to attend Joe’s gig tonight and got tied up but I didn’t have his phone number to tell him. He must have been worried about me and came by to make sure I was OK.” She was a convincing liar but it all kind of made sense and Joe didn’t disagree. “Do you two know each other?” she asked as Phil was making notes.

  “We do,” Phil answered. “Joe and I were high school classmates along with your sister Mary. I think we went out together on Joe and Mary’s first date. I haven’t seen him for a few years until tonight.” They finished their coffee and Phil grabbed Joe’s arm to steer him to the door. “We’ll get out of your hair. Sorry for Joe’s late visit. I’ll see that he gets home. Goodnight.”

  Joe’s buzz had finally worn off and he looked Allison in the eye but said nothing as they left. She waved goodbye and closed and locked the door.

  “Follow me,” Phil told Joe, satisfied that Joe could drive safely on his own. The Big Boy at Farmington and Plymouth was now open 24 hours and Phil drove there with Joe in tow for a much needed discussion. As one would expect, the place was empty except for a couple of bar closers with the munchies. Joe immediately ordered a Slim Jim, fries and strawberry shake while Phil nursed his black coffee.

  “OK buddy, what the fuck was really going on back there. She gave a convincing story but I think she left out some things.” Phil wanted to help his old friend if he could. Joe explained everything about his sudden break off with Mary and touched on the highlights of his life after Viet Nam. Phil knew Joe was a budding guitar player but never thought he would be earning a living as a musician.

  “Running in to Allison was pure coincidence,” Joe went on. “She is a big girl now and we kinda hit it off, purely as friends I might add.
What freaked me out was what she said when the subject turned to Mary. It was almost as though she was giving me a warning beyond a jealous husband’s reaction. I’m beginning to think Mary may have gotten into something bad and can’t get out of it. I tried as best I could to find out what happened to her but I hit nothing but dead ends. It’s as though she dropped off the face of the earth.”

  Phil listened, making a few notes as Joe spoke. When Joe finished, Phil thought it might be best to advise Joe to just let it go. “Joe, I know you are looking for some closure on what happened but if she wants to guard her privacy that is her right and that was good advice Allison was giving. I’m afraid that if you keep hounding Allison you’ll end up with a restraining order against you.”

  “Listen Phil, you have access to information I could never get. If you could help me find her and at least reassure me she is happy and healthy, then I can let it go. I promise.” Joe wasn’t sure if that would really be the end of things but it sounded sincere.

  Phil shook his head. “What you are asking me to do could get me fired. I don’t know.” Joe said nothing more. At least Phil was considering it. “Let me sleep on it,” he added and gave Joe his number to call him in a couple of days.

  CHAPTER 21

  Allison couldn’t go back to sleep. She felt like shit for adding more hurt to Joe who’s only mistake was loving her sister. She remembered hearing long lectures by her dad to Mary about Joe being a bad influence who would ruin her life. How wrong he turned out to be. In reality, Joe would have been the best thing for Mary but who could have known. Allison’s biggest concern was whether Joe would let his quest go or if he would continue to pursue information about Mary’s whereabouts.