My Life in the End

by Adriana Alexa

  - Do not be melodramatic. - Rolled my eyes.

  - I'm being realistic. I bet all my chips in you and now was crazy.

  - Nothing changed. I said I'd get a person who would have information, did not I?

  - Said! But I did not think it was Gregory Baxter.

  - And it's not! But I need some time.

  - We do not have time!

  - For arrange!

  The doorbell rang and this time, the voices in the hallway, Gregory was back with my son.

  - All right, Thoen. Do it your way. I just hope you do not forget the danger.

  - Believe. I know very well about the danger.

  He shook his head as if he did not believe any of my syllables.

  - The problem is I have the bad habit of protecting people who think they understand more about the danger than me.

  - I can turn around, Zahner.

  - Well then, turn around.

  He opened the door and Holt's smile turned into an angry scowl.

  - Come in, come. - Zahner invited and I saw Gregory swell as if to blow - I was just leaving.

  - Hi, Gary!

  - Hi, brat! - Ty ruffled the hair and Greg greeted with a look on your way out.

  Ty hugged me telling confusing words about the game and ran after the dog.

  - I do not know your friend, but do not think it appropriate to call our brat son. - He muttered.

  I gasped exaggerated.

  - It is not an offense, Gregory.

  - I'm just saying I think not appropriate, Laura. - His jaw was locked that way ...

  - Stop being jealous of Gary.

  - I'm not jealous - I kept my eyes on him smiling, hoping to end lying - Just ... - squeezed her lips - I do not ... Oh, shit. - Gave up, rubbing his eyes - Can you blame me?

  I kissed her cheek.

  - Still going out? - He asked.

  - Marise is already there. Hyatt's in the shower. Give me just a minute to change clothes and sing the congratulations before leaving. And ... - he held my hand casually. Squeezed his fingers back - I want to give you something before we left.

  - IT IS? - Smiled rascal - What is it?

  - Control yourself, Holt. - Warned and he laughed louder - are the documents you gave me. I read it and signed it. All ready.

  His smile widened beyond limit and he even had to respond.

  His feeling was printed right there in that smile.

  ***********

  The restaurant was discreet and intimate. Nothing obscenely luxurious and I was grateful to Holt for his choice. The square table was narrow so it was almost impossible to cross your legs without any of them touch him. The atmosphere was romantic and the exclusive presence of couples around us made it clear that this was not a site dedicated to family entertainment, but the discreet seduction. The lighting was low and pleasant, the music was gentle and engaging as a blues rebuilt. elegant cutlery and silver hanging by tiny wires, falling from the ceiling in layers, grouped so that the light reflected on them and shine. There was something in the wood decor and blue tones that made me feel on the seabed.

  The menu began with a selection of marine fruits and I realized that the place of style was, in fact, deliberate.

  - Sun? - Greg called my attention to a question that he had done and that I had not even heard.

  - What's it?

  - You're distracted? I asked if'll want to drink something.

  - Only one water for now. And no ... I was just looking at the place and ... how was Ty today?

  - I gave it all, right? - He winked - I think not to be afraid.

  - IT IS. But he was very quiet. And barely finished eating a slice of cake. Did something happen?

  He breathed deeply, making me stare at him as prey.

  - Holt? What did you do with my son?

  - Calm. Anything. - Assured quickly - I think he might be jealous.

  - Of what?

  - From you. For my sake and Hyatt. He wanted to make it clear that you were not interested in having anyone else in your life, right now.

  My lip folded into a smile. Tyler was my little protector. Although I had never needed anyone to take care of me, he always made a point of insisting.

  A few minutes a heavy silence followed while we reviewed the menu. Once the waiter was gone after take our order, I returned his gaze to Gregory on the other side ... and he looked away. Gulped. He stared at the seam of the napkin for a second and ...

  - What's it?

  - Han?

  - Do not be disingenuous, Greg. He called me here today because I wanted to talk about something and whatever it is, is you swallowing live.

  - It's all right. - Sipped water and rubbed his neck as if Rejoicing an invisible leash that suffocated - Ty told me the truth? You have no interest in having someone in your life?

  - I thought we agreed we were going to take it slow.

  - And we had.

  - I thought you said you would wait as long as necessary.

  - And I said.

  - And less than a week later he changed his mind?

  - I do not ... Oh! - Dropped the napkin on the table, making me notice that he was angry - Damn, Thoen!

  - What did I do? - I complained.

  - Why you need to be impossible?

  - Impossible? I just signed a document giving you the right to half of the most important person I have in my life, Holt. Days after solving a problem that has lasted for years. I think I'm being too much reasonable.

  - You love Me. - Sighed, there was intensity in his voice - I know you love me. And I love you. So why go slow?

  - Because I do not want to hurt and Ty ...

  - We will not be separated again.

  A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips, I just realized when it was too late and Holt had narrowed eyes watching me.

  - What do you mean by that laugh?

  - I mean you're unpredictable. By the way ... unpredictable, no. Manipulable.

  - You are offending me.

  - Thanks. It was my intention.

  - You offend me? - He asked with disbelief - When I say I love you? - Thrust the indicator on tablecloth. - When I say I do not want to give it up? When I say that I will not hurt you and Ty? - There was no romance in his words. In fact, there was a bit of anger and resentment - you just ignore everything I say and decides he will not trust me?

  - I've tried to trust you sometimes and look where it took me.

  He caught his jaw as if holding words in his throat. They seemed to be words that were wedged background long in it and he might not even know that was carrying. But something in our brief initial dialogue did open the floodgates and the way he looked and inspired me angry, I knew now, I would have to listen.

  Come on, Greg. Say it.

  - And when exactly did you trust me? When she became pregnant and did not tell me? When he decided to abort for whatever ... - stared at the ceiling leading the fierce hands to his temples - Why shit! And then you did not tell me? And she went to the clinic? And give up, indeed! But he did not tell me anything! And then listen to this obscene proposal of my grandmother, tidying things and flees the country! Without telling me. - He gave a short fist on the table.

  - That's what you wanted to talk? Wash dirty clothes? Because if it is, I think it was better to do in a more private place, no?

  - Let's do it now.

  - Do not send me, Gregory.

  - Shit, Laura.

  - And see how you talk!

  - You accuse me! I accused him of not trusting you and blame me for having suffered all these years. And now you do not want to end this nonsense to go slow because you think you can not trust me. But when did you give me a chance?

  - Knowing how you feel, I think to slow down would be the best scenario. At the moment, I'm thinking about not going anywhere. - Explained, suggestive - Unless back to my house.

  - See how you're impossible?

  His scorn stuck a needle in my soul and now the words I also kept in my subconscious were t
rying to leave.

  - Your damn grandmother has her beautiful little neck wrapped in a collar of diamonds. It makes you what you want and you follow.

  - It's not like this! I just did not cut relations, Laura! And because it was my family! Because I wanted to preserve what was left and knew that she was a difficult woman to deal with, but how do you think it would have been, Dom? You think you would have told me that she had offered you money to abort and I would say, "Oh, yes, great idea, please do it?" It was crazy?

  - She has a habit of convincing you to do what she wants. How could I be sure of what you would do?

  - How could you be sure? Because I love you, her troubled! Because I always loved you and always let it clear.

  - When we got together the first time ... You accused me of betraying you, do not remember, Gregory? On more than one occasion.

  - When we got together for the first time, Laura! But how many times I imagined something like that then? None! Not a single damn time! I always believed in you. Why would it be different?

  - Because it's always different when it involves your grandmother! It was she who stuck things in your head and convinced you that I did not pay and was cheating on you.

  - IT IS. - Growled, full of sarcasm - And then I left you, right? Said that she was right, I sent you away and forgot you existed? No! - I cried - I was behind you when you fled. I fought for both of us when you thought I did not. By the way! - Raised the indicator - If one of us has a recurring attitude toward Eleanor, it's you. - She pointed at me - that you have this horrible habit of leaving her poison hits you, do not talk to me and leave running the world.

  - What do you want me to do, Gregory? I wish I were not afraid?

  - I wish you had talked to me in the second that her menses delayed. - Roared hoarse - I wish you'd told me he was going to the pharmacy test. I Wish I had expected the result with you. I wanted to go to the doctor, hear confirmation. If you had told me from the beginning things would have been very different.

  - You may not know this.

  - If you had run away and I knew you still loved me and was pregnant? I had hunted you in hell, Laura.

  - This blame game will not take us anywhere! So what do you want? You want to make me feel bad? It is? - I took the napkin from his lap and put it back on the table - because I do not need this in my life. I have had too many problems because of their family. - I got up and went into the bathroom, controlling my anger. On the way, I realized that some people around had noticed our little friendly conversation and whispered judgment of flooding.

  I was rubbing his forehead when I felt his hand on my back pushing me into the bathroom.

  - Why did you run away when you're talking?

  He closed the door behind us. The bathroom was large and had three empty cabins. I turned on a tap and spent the clammy hands of cold water over his face.

  - You were not talking, was condemning me, it's different.

  - We have agreed that is all Eleanor's fault, is not it? I'm not saying it's your fault! Blame her! I know! But you need to stop guided our relationship as if it were my fault.

  - What relationship?

  He was speechless and hard.

  - Stop it. - He asked with a raised hand - Just ... stop.

  - I do not trust you. You may not like it, but it's true!

  - Because? - Shouted - Why do not you trust me? What I've done not trust?

  - You do not believe me, you know!

  - About what? What have you said I did not believe?

  - Anything involving Eleanor, Gregory, is not sly!

  - Laura. - He joined hands in a prayer and spoke in despair, as if he found it impossible to maintain a rational conversation with me - Twice a week you had a different story about Eleanor.

  - And it was true!

  - You were late for the birthday party of Meryl and put the blame on her.

  - I left work with time off and got a horrible traffic jam!

  - Because they had closed three streets in the center to make a public field observation for the eclipse! Eleanor sent the moon covering the sun, was it?

  - She may have had to close the streets. - I heard the insanity in my voice, but he had gone too far to quit. - I wish you had time alone with Meryl and wanted to get rid of me.

  - I had to ignore. - Gestured toward me as if my argument had harder against me than for me - ignored some things you said about her the same way that ignored many things she said about you. And believe me: she said several. I was just trying to preserve two important people to me.

  - And how could I know that you would not ignore what I had to say about it, again?

  - Look, I know I'm a quiet guy. But I like to think that "she offered me money to abort" is the kind of thing that would call my attention.

  It was a fact: that fight would drag on for days.

  I and Holt had many outstanding issues and it was temporary insanity suppose we could just ignore them.

  Dinner would not work. I better take a deep breath, go back home and join forces for the next.

  But at least I could do one thing before you go ...

  - Do you think I had so many options so? Why not talk to Boe? He even suggested I go. He also thought you would believe his grandmother.

  - This is between me and you, Laura. Do not you hear what I'm saying? It's about people trust each other.

  My hands were shaking when I pulled the cell phone pouch. I had no experience in lying to Gregory and the mere idea made me feel as if you are cheating.

  - Come on, tell me the number of Boe, we call him and solve it now.

  - Thoen, pay attention to what I'm saying!

  - Come on, let's call him! - I decided. But my voice was trembling.

  My voice was not trembling.

  Holt's eyes narrowed and must have thought that demonstration of weakness the most peculiar thing he's ever seen me do.

  - Why do you want to talk to both Boe?

  - To prove to you that ...

  - Do you want to contact Boe to ask him something? - I grabbed her arm - That's why I came back to the country? He returned after him?

  I wanted to tell him to let me go and shout some offense. But ... But it was Greg.

  It was my Greg.

  The only weakness I had.

  The only weakness I always have.

  Part of me hated him for putting me against the wall in this way, but there was one part that did not rest and that would always know the rules I had for everyone, did not apply to him.

  - Does this have anything to do with listening?

  I could not tell if I was pale.

  But I have stayed.

  I have become translucent.

  - So that's why you invited me to dinner? - I wanted to get angry, but honestly ... who I wanted to fool?

  - You went back to the country for me. - He shook his finger in the air slowly as if he were doing the most obvious of sums - and got a job ... and got a job as a lawyer moved name? No more his diploma. Why do you want to talk to the Boe? It's the same reason they put a wiretap in my room?

  Calm.

  - What did I do? - I growled, acute and he hesitated.

  - I found listening, Laura. My secretary found, actually. It has two digital it. If I have examined, one will be yours?

  I slapped his chest. Too hard. More than I wanted and he stumbled backward. He did not actually fall, but looked up startled.

  - What is your problem?

  - My problem is you do not trust me.

  - Oh my God! - Rubbed his temples indicators - We have to solve this our dysfunctional living, Thoen! You created this alternate reality that I do not trust you and then not tell me anything. On the other hand - he continued, angry - I'm not wanting to ask not to hurt you. Not to give you more ammunition for this thy delirium of suspicion. I thought you had betrayed me when we started getting along - he was exalting - I came to you and asked you. You said "no" and clarified. And I BELIEVED IN YOU! I believe you! I will alway
s believe in you. The problem is that you are MALUCA! You are a crazy disturbed and obsessed with his solitude! Not me I'm not reliable! Are YOU not to trust anyone!

  - Ended up?

  My lower lip trembled, my eyes were on fire.

  I was furious.

  Recalling that night in that dark and cold harbor. Dominated by the pain of contractions.

  - Ended up? That's all you'll tell me? Tell me, Laura! He tells me that listening was a gift from Santa Claus. He says he gave you personally. Says. And I'll believe you. Whatever it is. Just tell me!

  - What difference does? If you will believe me, just believe now. I believe that I did not want the worst.

  - Why must it be this way? Why do I have to trust you without any proof, word. While you need proof that I am confident every half hour? Because?

  I caught his lips and stared at him in a firm silence.

  Gregory raised his hands with hatred, bending his fingers in my face height. The rigid mouth, the fierce look, the wrathful breath. I thought he was going to strangle me.

  But then he put his hands in my hair and kissed me.

  It was a sweet and restrained kiss. It was a furious and suffocated kiss. As if he wanted to punish me, but did not know how. I held his lips between his teeth, remembering all the pain he had made me go and bit hard. Holt did not stop me. He knew exactly what I had done and should have a good looking plan when started pulling my clothes. Blow another slap on his hard chest and his hand grabbed me by the buttocks in a strong grip too. I complained of pain when he turned me.

  My panties disappeared in his hands and burned bite when he hooked his hungry teeth in the flesh of my ass. The slap hit the same place and was not only a sensual teasing. He slapped me hard, making the impact click on my skin warming the place where his hand hit me.

  I turned back to him, irritated. I would not take myself and tore her nails at his forearm, watching the reddish grooves forming where my nails passed and he groaned, squeezing me against the wall tiles in different shades of blue. One of his powerful hands grabbed me by the throat as he kissed me again.

  - Not so angry at me as I am of you. - Warned and I pinched his stomach, at the height of the ribs, sticking my fingers in your body. Gregory shivered in a mixture of pain and pleasure that I had never seen before.