She found herself daydreaming about making love to Deanna, about things she still wanted to try…things she thought too naughty to mention. That distraction nearly ran her off the road and she caught herself before she got in an accident.
As she approached her home, she realized it wasn’t a hard decision. She would just have to be brave, ignore the gossips, and go forward with her choices. Whether they were good or bad, they were her choices, Deanna had made that very clear. She smiled as she drove into her driveway, the van seeming extra loud as she turned it off and listened to the silence around her.
“Hey, Mom,” Conor called as she entered the house.
“Hey, Mom,” Chloe echoed and got up from the cartoons she was watching to give her mother a hug. “Grandma called,” she told her with her arms wrapped around her waist.
“Yeah? What’d she want?” she smiled, looking down at the little girl. She could see the potential young lady already sprouting in this young girl-child.
“She wondered if you were at work, were we home alone, and what we were doing? She wants you to call,” she told her importantly.
“Grandma said we should come for a visit and see our cousins,” Conor put in as he wrinkled his nose at that. His cousins were loud and boisterous and there were so many of them he never remembered all their names.
Madison mentally rolled her eyes. She knew what that meant. Her mother wanted her to come back east so she could verbally chastise her in person for getting a divorce, for not having more children, and for not following the more traditional role of housewife and mother. The fact that her children were home alone, watching television, without a mother supervising, probably had sent her into a tither. The fact that they were only home alone for an hour didn’t enter into it. They were alone and all sorts of things could go wrong with that. Madison agreed. It didn’t escape her notice that if she accepted Deanna’s offer there would be a housekeeper around for the days when they couldn’t get home before the children. She sighed and smiled at the kids as she left them to the television and coloring they were doing to make a phone call.
“Hello, Mom. Chloe said you wanted me to call?”
“What are you thinking, leaving those two wee children on their own out there in Los Angeles? I heard on the news there were gang shootings just last week!”
Madison didn’t dare tell her about the gun in the E.R. several weeks ago. “Mom, Los Angeles is as safe as any other big city. I live in a safe neighborhood. The kids were home alone for not even an hour.”
“When you were little, do you recall me ever leaving you home alone for one moment?” she asked.
Madison was picturing her mother like a chattering mother wren, all fluffed up and pecking at her. “I know, Mom,” she sighed, knowing nothing she was going to say would convince her otherwise. She was tired from the long drive home and all that she had on her mind.
“And you don’t even have a father figure there for them to come home to,” she continued. “You should come back here to the old neighborhood. I know several young men who would be pleased to…”
“Mom, I’m not looking to get married again. I’m happy the way things are,” she tried to tell her, but knew it was falling on deaf ears. A happy woman was married and having children. It didn’t matter if she was compatible with her mate, she was only happy if she procreated. Mentally, Madison shook her head.
“Why I never heard such rubbish…” she began and continued on for five minutes before Madison finally had enough.
“Was there something specific you wanted, Mom? I’m kind of tired here. I’ve had a long day.”
“What were you doing?” she finally thought to ask.
Madison debated about telling her the truth, the whole truth, but knew in her small world that this would be a shock that she might not be able to weather. She wasn’t ready to admit it on some levels herself although she’d given herself a good talking to on the way home. “I visited a friend…” she began, but her mother interrupted her.
“You are off visiting friends when you should be home waiting for your children to get home from school…” she began, but Madison, finally tired of being berated her whole life, snapped.
“No, Mother, I wasn’t just off visiting friends. I was visiting my girlfriend and she has made me a very interesting proposition. I’ve got a lot to decide and I’ll let you know when I have made those decisions. Until then I would appreciate it if you’d stop yelling at me all the time.”
There was silence for a moment as her mother digested being chastised in return. This didn’t have a precedence. She was used to getting her own way her entire life. Her children obeyed her, although this one had given her trouble from time to time. “You watch how you talk to me, missy. You should be careful how you use that word ‘girlfriend’ in this day and age. People might think….”
“Mom,” she interrupted angrily, “I don’t care what people might think,” and she realized for the first time in a long time, she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to allow anyone, even her mother, to bully her into feeling ashamed of calling Deanna her girlfriend. She savored that word in her brain for a moment. If she wanted it, Deanna could be her girlfriend or more….
“W–why…” her mother began huffily.
“Look, Mom, it’s my life. I’m the one paying my bills, I’m the one raising my kids. It’s my life,” she stressed. “How I choose to live it is no one’s business,” she stated and finally, finally things began to click into place as she realized the truth of her words.
“Well, I never…” the words trailed off as Madison interrupted once more.
“Well, maybe you should.” She was feeling good, but she no longer wished to argue with her mother. She wasn’t ready to antagonize her further and she also wasn’t ready to shock her…not yet, not today. “Look, Mom, I’m tired. It was a long drive and I have things to do including getting dinner ready for the kids. I should go.”
“Well,” she huffed again. “It’s about time you put those children first and….”
“I’ll call you next week, Mother,” she said as though she actually meant it and hung up mid-harangue. She stared at the phone realizing how satisfying it had been to get in the last word with her mother. She also loved the fact that hanging up on her with the phone was so much more satisfying than what could be accomplished with a cell phone. It must be the physical sensation of slamming down the phone that did it. While it hadn’t been pleasant, it had been long overdue. She felt herself becoming stronger by the moment as she realized it was all up to her. It was her decision. She looked around the kitchen and, hearing the kids still in the living room, headed for it.
“Hey, you guys, I have an idea I’d like to discuss with you and I want you to listen. Turn off the TV,” she told Chloe who looked at her with some trepidation.
“Did we do something wrong, Mommy?” Chloe asked.
“No, baby, I just have something I wish to discuss with you two.”
“What?” Conor asked, sitting up from the paper he was drawing on.
“What do you two think about the idea of moving to Santa Barbara and living with Dr. D and Roman?”
“Really?” Chloe breathed, her eyes wide.
“We’d have to change schools?” Conor asked, realizing a lot more of the social implications than his sister at the moment. He’d lose all his friends.
Madison nodded. “Deanna asked me today and I thought I’d ask you two what you think?” She knew it didn’t really matter what these two small children thought. It was her decision, but it was at that moment that she realized her mind was already made up, she was just looking for the push.
It was Conor who realized what she might not be saying quicker than his sister. “Would we be like Sam Ryan?”
“Who?” Madison asked, blinking her confusion and wondering what this person had to do with anything.
“You know, he’s the one with two dads. Would we have two moms?” He waited patiently for her answer as Chloe turn
ed to look from one to the other.
Considering keeping it a secret a moment longer, Madison made up her mind. Nodding, she answered her son. “Yes, it would be like that. Would you like Dr. D to be your other mom?” She held her breath waiting for their answer. Her look encompassed both children.
Chloe asked, “Would you sleep in the same room?”
Madison hesitated, not wishing to tell them too much, but at the same time realizing that these two little urchins’ opinions were the only ones that really mattered at the moment. No one, not her friends, not her family—especially her mother—mattered more. What happened between her and Deanna was personal, private, and wholly their own business, but without going into too much detail she could be honest with her children. “Yes, I love her,” then unable to help herself she asked, “Is that okay?”
“Would we get to live in that house we saw? The one without any furniture?”
Madison nearly laughed aloud at her relief. Children had different priorities than who she slept with. “Yes, but it has furniture now. Deanna bought some,” she confirmed with a smile.
“Would I get my own room or would I share with Roman?” Conor asked and from his tone Madison couldn’t tell which way he wanted it.
“Well, if we do this, I think we would have to ask Dr. D and certainly consult with Roman,” she answered carefully.
“Can we bring Fluffy?” Chloe worried.
Madison hadn’t considered that. Scott had avoided her since he got out on probation again, this time with harsher restrictions. He hadn’t picked up the dog and Madison had to assume that he wasn’t going to. “I’m sure we can…” she began, but she realized she still had a lot to consider.
“Doesn’t Dr. D have a cat? Won’t he mind?” Conor worried, still thinking about whether he had to share a room or not.
Madison hadn’t thought of Spot in all this. She crossed her fingers as she answered, “I’m sure they will adjust.”
For the kids, it was settled. Madison was amazed at how easy it was for them. She waited until they were fed and in bed to call Deanna.
“Hello?” she answered the cell phone, seeing Madison’s picture come up on the screen’s caller I.D. She’d had some help with that since she was lucky to even be able to answer it. She hung up on a lot of people using the thing and was relieved to use a conventional phone instead.
“Yes,” Madison said simply with a grin.
“Yes?” Deanna was confused. She’d worried all afternoon and evening since she watched Madison drive away, she couldn’t help but make comparisons to her leaving in Mamadu so long ago. This time, at least she wasn’t getting out of the way of a war, but there was Los Angeles traffic and that could be like a war…a million things could have happened. She had thought of texting Madison—she was learning to do that better these days—but hadn’t wanted to put any more pressure on the redhead than she already had. The ultimatum had weighed heavily on her soul all afternoon long. Had she gone too far by issuing it? She’d been distracted and Roman had noticed when he got home from school and ate dinner with her. She was a bit too quiet and he’d asked her repeatedly if something was wrong.
“I’ll move up there,” she clarified, the joy in her voice was obvious.
“You will?” she asked, incredulous, and then to be sure, pinching herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. The pain told her this wasn’t a daydream.
Madison nodded as though Deanna could see her. “Yes, I am going to put in my two weeks’ notice at the hospital tomorrow and I’m going to call a realtor too.”
Deanna blinked. This couldn’t be true…It was too good to be true.
At the silence, Madison got a little nervous. “Is that okay?” Had she assumed too much?
“Absolutely! Do we have to wait two weeks to see each other? Have you said anything to the kids?” She began to get excited as her mind began to race with ideas.
Madison smiled again at the enthusiasm she could hear in Deanna’s voice. “We better not wait that long. I might explode,” she told her.
“Explode?” she wondered at the phrasing.
Her voice lowered with longing. “I want you,” she whispered. She knew the kids were asleep, but still.
“I can’t wait to see you again,” she admitted happily as her mind raced with plans.
“Um, the kids brought up an interesting point or two,” she mentioned.
Feeling a bit of trepidation, she asked anyway, “Like what?” She was sure they could work out any glitch, she was still excited.
“Fluffy and Spot need to meet,” she smiled as she said it, the names seeming incongruous to her at the moment. How unoriginal they were.
Deanna rolled her eyes as she laid back on the couch. She wished she had a phone cord to twirl through her fingers, instead she reached up and began to touch her fingertips to her eyebrows and then her eyelashes in a gesture of comfort. “I’m sure they’ll be fine,” she began and then thought better of it, “or they’ll adjust.”
“Your cat is as big as my dog,” the redhead pointed out.
“But he’s just a big kitten,” she tried to defend him.
“Where was he today?” she wondered.
“Somehow he got locked in the rec room. I didn’t find him until Roman got home.” She was loving this, talking about simple things. She was so happy she could burst…explode.
“That leads me to another problem that the kids mentioned.”
“Oh?” she hoped it was as simple as the last.
“Are the boys going to share a room or…?”
Deanna thought for only a second before answering, “There is room for everyone to have their own.”
“You don’t want to have a guest room or an office?”
“I have the den, and we can put a pullout bed in there or in the rec room for any guests. The kids should have their own space.”
Madison was loving how easy this was sounding. She felt a tiny curl of fear in her stomach, but pushed it down, blaming it on nerves. She wouldn’t allow any doubts to ruin how happy she was. She could hear the joy in Deanna’s voice too.
“You, of course, will share my room…I’ll make room in my dresser,” she teased and then got serious. “Are your children ready for that?” she worried.
“Actually I was asked about that…” she teased, smiling as she did so.
“What’d they ask?” she worried…kids could be tricky. They either were clueless or could put a real monkey wrench in the works.
Madison told her and they shared a laugh at how easy they accepted things.
“Hurray for Sam Ryan and his two dads!” Deanna put in.
She then went on to tell her what her mother had said.
“Is that going to be hard?”
“Yes, but you know what?”
“What?” she asked quickly, looking to deal with any problems before they became insurmountable.
“It’s time I faced up to my fears—the gossip, whatever—and did things that make me happy. I realized that today…you make me happy,” she told her shyly.
“Thank you,” she answered simply, humbled by the declaration. Trying to lighten up the mood she asked, “When is your next two days off?”
“I actually have two half days and then two whole days off before I work two weeks solid. Two of the nurses are pregnant and out on maternity leave at the same time. It’s screwing up the schedule. They won’t be happy when I give my two weeks’ notice.”
“Do you want to give them more?” She didn’t want to hear a yes to that question, but she had to be fair.
Madison was already shaking her head. “No, I want to be with you, Deanna. I’ve cost us both with my indecision and worries. I can’t wait to begin our life together.”
“Why don’t you pack your van with whatever you want to start moving and bring it up with you? We’ll start putting things away piece by piece and then move you up here completely when you are ready. Do you want to wait until you sell the house?”
�
�What about the kids’ school? If I come up on my days off, they are in school this week.”
“Well, they will have to miss some, won’t they? Besides, we need to get them enrolled up here.”
“I don’t know if I can afford…” she began.
“Babe, I was serious about taking care of you.”
“I don’t want to be kept…”
“You won’t. You make me happy. You make me complete. You’re bringing your family, our family, to make it complete. Believe me when I say I want to do this.”
Madison still had some concerns, but thought she should enjoy what she had without ruining it before it began. It was happening so fast, but she was excited about it. They discussed things for a while before the long drive and the stress of the day caught up with her. She was yawning so much she had to get off the phone. They reluctantly hung up the phone, promising to text or call first thing in the morning.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Madison was riding high as she went into work. The van had trouble starting that morning, but even with that annoyance she was in a great mood. Bonnie commented on it, but she just told her she’d had a great day off. Speculation began by ten in the morning that she had a new boyfriend. Madison didn’t tell anyone and wouldn’t speak of it, but she’d made an appointment with her supervisor and gave her two weeks’ notice.
“We’ll miss you around here. You’ve done excellent work,” she was told. Madison could tell she wanted to know why she was quitting, but couldn’t ask and was hoping that she’d volunteer the information. She held her tongue.
On her lunch break, she called a realtor whose signs she’d seen in the neighborhood. She wanted to list her own small house and made arrangements to meet him after work for a tour of the house, and possibly to sign a contract to sell the place. She also texted Deanna on her breaks, being careful to only do it when no one was around to see the smile on her face. She felt radiant and, for the first time in a long time, she admitted to herself that she was happy.
That night, she met the kids at the house. She got home from work before them due to the half day off. She would only be working one week of the two solid weeks she was supposed to, and her supervisor wasn’t very happy about that. Still, she understood Madison was moving on, even if she didn’t know where, what, or who to. Out of guilt, loyalty, she didn’t know what, Madison agreed to the two solid weeks.
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