She looked into his eyes and realised the same thought was in both their minds. They had never been so close wearing quite so little before, not even on their weekend trips down to the Gower woods.
‘I could stay here all night treading water as long as you were in my arms,’ he murmured.
‘We’d freeze into two blocks of ice.’
‘If we remained this close, there’d only be one.’ Bending his head to hers, he kissed her.
‘People can see us from the beach.’
‘Let them.’
She looked over his shoulder. ‘Sam and Adam have just come into the water, and Katie and Judy are changing on the beach.’
‘Then I suppose I’d better leave this for another time.’
‘You working on Saturday, Marty?’ She tried to sound casual but her heart was thundering so loudly she was amazed he couldn’t hear it.
‘I told you, it’s the first day of my holidays. You?’
‘I’m free, but Helen’s going into the warehouse to help with a fashion show and she’ll be there all day. Katie’s working and Judy will be at the salon.’
He slipped his hands round her back and pulled her even closer. ‘If you have plans I hope they include me.’
‘If you come round early, we could swim before I make us breakfast.’
‘How early?’ He suddenly felt as if his heart had travelled to his mouth.
‘The others will have left by nine.’
‘I’ll be knocking on your door at five past.’
‘How did it go?’ Robin pounced on Joe as soon as he left the hall where they’d sat their final examination.
‘Not too bad.’
‘Hear that?’ Robin yelled as candidates continued to spill out of the building. ‘Griffiths here says it wasn’t too bad.’
‘It was tragic,’ Thompson declaimed mournfully. ‘I may as well drown myself now. Save my father a job when he sees my results.’
‘Use my pool,’ Robin offered, ‘or if you prefer, Pops’ whisky.’
‘Is that an invitation to a pool party?’ Thompson’s misery evaporated as his face split into an enormous grin. ‘Hey, everyone, back to Robin’s for a pool party.’
‘Are your parents up for this?’ Joe asked, as he and Robin were swept along by the tide that surged towards the car park.
‘I overhead Pops tell Mums last night that he was expecting some sort of breakdown after all the studying I’ve been doing.’
‘You can’t be serious?’ Joe questioned.
‘One of the perks of having a doctor for a father. You can pinch his medical books, read up on symptoms and drop them casually over the dinner table. Headaches, inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite …’
‘You ate three meals at lunchtime,’ Joe contradicted.
‘Only because my loss of appetite won’t allow me to eat at home. How about -’ Robin stood back and watched Thompson pile into a car with half a dozen others including his redheaded girlfriend – ‘we drive home via the art college, and get Em and Angie to round up some girls?’
‘You’ve dropped Thompson’s redhead?’ Joe pulled out his cigarettes.
‘Freda – good Lord, no.’
‘Her name’s Freda?’
‘Not exactly stunningly romantic, is it.’ Robin helped himself to one of Joe’s cigarettes. ‘She confided that her parents have no taste for the exotic.’
‘Unlike you.’
‘Ever wondered what a threesome is like?’ Robin lifted his eyebrows suggestively.
‘No!’ Joe was taken aback by the question.
‘Sorry, forgot there for a moment that I was talking to Puritan Joe.’
‘You’ve a mind like a sewer,’ Joe pronounced acidly, ‘and I’m fed up with you trying to shock me.’
‘I’m not. I’ve been reading this book …’
‘Pornographic book.’
‘That depends on your definition. I prefer erotic and I thought that with Em and Freda at the same party …’
‘And Thompson,’ Joe reminded him.
‘He has no head for whisky and I’ll make sure he has plenty.’
‘Do the girls know what you have in mind?’
Robin winked. ‘That would spoil the surprise.’
‘Sometimes I wonder how much of what you spout you actually believe.’
‘All of it, dear boy, all of it.’ He slapped Joe’s shoulders as he turned back to the others. ‘Tell the housekeeper to let you in. Joe and I are off to hunt up a few more girls in case the ones we have wear out.’
‘Make sure they’re pretty,’ Thompson cackled.
‘I’ll bear you in mind when I pick them out.’ Robin turned back to Joe. ‘I’ve just had another thought. We could go past your place and invite your sister and the gorgeous Lily.’
‘My sister’s moved to Limeslade,’ Joe said flatly.
‘Better still, it’s just up the road.’
‘She’s married.’
‘I’m broad-minded.’
‘She’s also ill.’
‘Still! I thought she only lost a baby,’ Robin dismissed casually.
‘It’s a bit more complicated than that.’
‘Excuses … excuses.’ Robin’s smile became a leer. ‘There’s still the gorgeous Lily.’
‘Who works all day in a bank.’
‘What boring people you know. We can always put notes through their doors.’
‘I think not.’
‘Party pooper.’
‘The last place I’d take my sister or Lily is one of your parties.’
‘I suppose you think I should count myself lucky that you’re coming.’ Robin tossed Joe his keys as he jumped into the passenger seat of his car.
‘You don’t want to drive?’
‘Stop at the first off-licence. I intend to get a head start on the rest of you.’
Chapter Twenty-four
Helen stood in front of her bedroom mirror and studied the scar that ran from the centre of her breasts to three inches below her navel. Red, inflamed, it marred her white skin, puckering it into unsightly bumps. Jack had told her he adored the way her skin looked and felt, smooth – like silk. He had loved caressing her, running his hands over her …
She closed her eyes and stroked her stomach, trying to imagine it was Jack who was touching her. The scar even felt ugly. It was thick, horrible and lumpy beneath her fingertips and, as if that weren’t enough, on either side of it were pockmarked dents where metal clips had been inserted to strengthen the stitches.
It was so unfair. She’d lost her looks, she’d never have a baby and she wasn’t even nineteen years old. Jack was so handsome he’d have no trouble finding someone else but she -
She opened her eyes and forced herself to look into the mirror again. Her face, her hair, her breasts, her arms, her legs paled into insignificance when set against the hideous, repulsive mark that dominated her body. She thought enviously of the two-piece swimsuits Katie and Lily had bought, and how she would never be able to wear a two-piece again. And suddenly the import of what had happened hit her full force and she sank down, naked, on to the bed.
She hadn’t cried once while she had been organising the move into the house. There had been no time between making what felt like a million and one lists of things to do, people to contact, colour schemes to be picked out for her kitchen and bathroom, and finding a decorator who wouldn’t cost the earth. Looking back, she realised that she had deliberately filled every waking moment with practical considerations, barely leaving herself time to write to Jack at the end of each exhausting day because she hadn’t wanted to think. And now all of a sudden that was all she had left to do.
All the pleasure she had felt yesterday at having a house in a perfect spot overlooking a beautiful beach dissipated. What was the point in having a house when Jack wasn’t there to share it with her – and there would never be any children to run down to the beach and play in the sand and the sea?
As she rose from the b
ed she allowed her tears to fall for the first time since she had moved in. Walking quickly, restlessly, she went into the bathroom and opened the cabinet. Moving aside plasters, face creams and witch hazel, she found what she was looking for, an almost full bottle of aspirin.
‘We’ll only be next door …’
‘We’ve had hundreds of parties without you, Mums,’ Angela Watkin Morgan reassured her mother. ‘No one’s going to wreck the place.’
‘It’s not the house we’re worried about.’ Her father surveyed the crowd of boys jumping in and out of the pool. ‘Your brother and his friends have been under a lot of pressure. They’re entitled to let off steam but if any of them gets dangerously drunk …’
‘We’ll call you right away,’ Angela promised.
‘You don’t want someone choking …’
‘No one will, Pops.’ Robin adopted what Angela called his ‘responsible look’ which, all his friends knew and his parents had apparently never discovered, only went expression deep. ‘Don’t worry, Joe and I will keep an eye on things.’
‘That’s a bit unfair on Joseph who’s as entitled to let his hair down as the rest of you.’ Dr Watkin Morgan winked at Joe as he opened the door for his wife and escorted her out of the house.
Robin unbuttoned his shirt. ‘I’m for the pool.’
‘Is that wise, Robin, after what you’ve drunk?’ Joe counselled.
‘There’s so many bodies in it there’s no room to drown.’ Angela dribbled a thin line of chlorinated water as she unwrapped an enormous towel from herself to reveal a white and gold two-piece swimsuit. ‘If you’re playing barman, Joe, mine’s a …’
‘Brandy, I know.’ He pushed his way into the crowded dining room and reached for the bottle.
‘Make it a sherry. And’ – she gave him a warm smile ‘a small one.’
‘Turning over a new leaf, Angie.’ Emily giggled as Robin twanged the strap of her bra top.
‘Something tells me I will need to be in full possession of my faculties for what’s going to happen later.’ She lifted her eyebrows as she took the glass Joe handed her.
‘Forfeits,’ Thompson shouted from the den. ‘First to get the top of a two-piece is king.’
Before Emily had a chance to defend herself, Robin unclipped the back of hers and pulled it off her.
‘You beast!’ Emily covered her breasts with her hands as every eye in the room focused on her.
‘Come on, sweetheart, you know you like being looked at.’ Robin pulled her hands away, holding them high above her head as he slowly rotated her in front of the boys.
‘When you’ve finished with that one, pass her over, Robin,’ Thompson slurred.
‘I hate you, Robin.’
‘No, you don’t, darling.’ Dropping Emily’s arms, he kissed her. ‘And as king, I say the first one to get a bottom gets to stay king for the night.’
Picking Emily up, Robin carried her through the conservatory to the pool, held her over the water and waited for the swimmers to clear a space, before dropping her in. Diving after her, he floated to the surface seconds later, brandishing the bottom of her swimsuit.
‘I’d better stop Robin before things get out of hand.’
‘What out of hand, Joe?’ Angie purred, grabbing his arm. ‘A party wouldn’t be a party without Emily stripping.’
He jerked back as she closed her hand on the front of his trousers and unfastened his fly. ‘Angie …’
‘If it would help things along, I could follow Emily’s example.’
Aware that the whisky he’d drunk had gone to his head, he tried to sound casual, but his ‘Thank you, but no’, pitched to be heard above the shrieks from the pool, came out more prudish than blasé.
‘There’s something you should know about me, Joe. I strip only in private and as a preliminary. Aren’t you going to ask to what?’
Acutely conscious of her fingers exploring his underwear, he swallowed hard before shaking his head.
‘Tell me, Joe, what does it take to get you into bed?’
‘Some feeling between me and the girl,’ he murmured thickly.
‘I’ll show you feeling.’ She pulled him back into her father’s study and closed the door. Locking it behind her, she dropped the key down her top. ‘You want out of here you have to come and get it.’
Before he realised what was happening her tongue was in his mouth and she’d pushed him on to the sofa. Her two-piece and his shirt landed on the floor at the same instant, seconds later his trousers joined them. One thought flashed through his mind as he entered her. This was practice for when he married Lily.
Suddenly it all made sense. Everything he had ever read suggested that the man should be experienced. The woman submitted and the man showed her a good time. It was the way of the world and how could he show Lily a good time without finding out what a woman liked first?
‘Helen.’
Helen heard someone call her name, but she continued to sit on the bed, staring at the pills she’d tipped out. There had to be a hundred of them. Would they be enough, and even if they were, could she swallow that many …
‘Helen!’ This time the cry was followed by a knock at the door, so she knew she hadn’t imagined it. She looked at the clock. Last night she had told Lily and Katie she would spend the morning in the garden, sunbathing and tidying the overgrown flowerbeds and it was already past two o’clock.
She went to the window and shouted ‘coming’, before she realised she didn’t have any clothes on. Grabbing her old one-piece bathing suit she pulled it on and threw her towelling beach robe on top. Checking her reflection in the mirror, she washed her tear-stained face and ran a comb through her hair before running down the stairs and opening the door. ‘Adam, what on earth are you doing here?’
‘I had the afternoon off, so I thought I’d have a swim, and where better to swim than Limeslade Bay? And, after my swim, I thought I’d visit my old friend Helen and take her lunch.’ He held up a couple of paper bags. ‘Pasties, crisps and apples, no expense spared, the absolute best the corner shop had to offer. It’s glorious out here. If you dig up an old blanket we could eat on your lawn – after I flatten it a bit.’
‘I was thinking of catching a bus into the warehouse,’ she lied, feeling ill at ease alone with him.
‘You’ll still have to eat. And although I’ve brought food I have no drink. Don’t suppose you feel like making a pot of tea? I’m parched,’ he added, sensing her reluctance.
She hesitated; then, deciding that as anyone could look over her garden wall it was public enough, she capitulated. ‘All right, but you stay here. I’ll bring a blanket out in a moment.’ She went into the kitchen and put the kettle on before running upstairs to the airing cupboard. She had given most of her aunt’s clothes and bedding to the Red Cross but she had kept back a couple of blankets for the beach. Fishing one out, she opened the bedroom window and dropped it on Adam’s head. By the time she had made the tea and carried it and a tray of crockery outside, he had spread the blanket, taken off his shirt and was stretched out, sunbathing.
‘This is the life.’ He sighed contentedly. ‘You don’t know how lucky you are not having to work in weather like this.’
‘I start in the warehouse on Monday.’
‘I don’t know why you’re in such a hurry.’
‘Because it’s boring staying at home all day with nothing to do and because the doctor says I’m fit enough.’ The doctor had also told her she’d be fit for something else and Jack had written to say he would be getting a full week’s leave at the end of his training, he just wasn’t sure how soon it would be, which was why she’d been examining herself in the mirror. And if Adam hadn’t interrupted her …
‘Good pasties,’ he commented, breaking in on her thoughts.
‘Yes.’
‘How would you know? You haven’t taken a bite out of yours.’
She picked it up from her plate and nibbled a corner. ‘Adam, I don’t want you to take this the wr
ong way but I am a married woman.’
‘I was at your wedding,’ he reminded her drily.
‘I don’t think you should come round here when I’m alone. It’s different when the girls are here or when you come with Sam and Martin …’
‘It’s Thursday.’
‘Yes,’ she concurred, mystified by his train of thought.
‘I thought Katie had a half-day in Lewis Lewis.’
Helen smiled in relief. ‘The shop has, but the office doesn’t close and they’re particularly busy at the moment buying in the autumn range.’
‘I didn’t know.’ He tried to look innocent. He had overheard Katie telling Lily that she had to work that day.
‘You’re still keen on her, then,’ Helen probed.
‘Do you have any gardening tools?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Gardening tools. You’ve some fine plants here. They’d look even better if they weren’t choked by weeds and if you’ve a mower or a pair of garden shears this lawn could do with cutting.’
‘I didn’t mean to pry,’ she apologised.
‘And I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward by coming here when you’re alone.’ Turning on to his stomach, he looked up at her. ‘If you can put up with me for a bit longer, I’ll take a look in the shed after we’ve finished eating and make a start.’
‘You don’t look like the type to know anything about gardening.’
‘I’ve been helping my father with his allotment since I was a nipper.’
‘You amaze me.’
‘That’s me, wonder boy,’ he murmured deprecatingly, smiling at her as he held out his cup. ‘Do you think that tea’s brewed by now?’
‘Hey, lady, if you’re not too proud to get on the back of a bike, I’ll give you a lift home.’
Lily whirled round as she left the bank to see Martin, sitting on Jack’s bike, waiting at the kerb. ‘Marty, this is a surprise.’ Dressed in a clean white shirt and jeans, he looked as though he’d just shaved and stepped out of a bath. Holding her handbag she climbed on the bike and caught a whiff of Old Spice aftershave, which he only wore when he went out. ‘Haven’t you been to work today?’
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